Trapped in Paradise

I know I promised to update you on my trip but I have been incommunicado until today.

I also know that I promised you that I would be having an adventurous time. And I have (and have all the photos to prove it). Except today it turned a little more adventurous than even I would have liked.

It seems we are now stranded in Thailand.

Protestors supporting the People's Alliance for Democracy have taken over the two major airports and all inbound and outbound flights have been cancelled. We understand that in the next 48 hours the military will be flying out travellers who urgently need to return home. For the rest of us it's all a bit up in the air. C'est la vie.

We are obviously not in any danger where we are in Phuket (as the trouble is in Bangkok where we need to be to leave the country) so we will just play the waiting game.

When we turned on the news to hear the latest about Thailand I was shocked to hear about the terrorist attacks in Mumbai, India. My heart goes out to everyone who has been affected.

I hope you all have been well and I can't wait to catch up on your blogs very soon. Well, as soon as I can get home.

Lilly xx

I'm Leaving On a Jet Plane

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Guess what?

All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go. I'm standing here outside your door I hate to wake you up to say goodbye. But the dawn is breaking, it's early morn. The taxi's waiting, he's blowing his horn....

If the pictures or song didn't give you a clue, I'm leaving for one of those I'm so desperate for a holiday holidays. I never get excited about going on holidays until I'm on the plane and I realise it's just too damn late if I forgot to turn the iron off or forgot to pack my shoes (alright, I only forget the shoes when I'm going somewhere where the shopping is great). Besides, once on the plane I usually find other thoughts start taking over. Like the time I spent the entire journey between LA to New York wondering if the guy opposite me had a bomb on his knee.

Before I leave, I just have time to make a quick stopover at Jlo’s blog, Zany Life + Crazy Faith , to join her in celebrating the NOHO holiday blogging fiesta.

Each day of November has been set aside as a special holiday and bloggers from different parts of the world have been writing or posting artwork to celebrate each holiday. I am posting there today.

While I’m away, Lilly's Life will be featuring a segment called Holiday Exposure about some previous holiday adventures I've had. Aussies, as a rule, love to travel from a young age perhaps because we are stuck on this big island far away from anyone else and we are curious to find out what the rest of the world is up to (although we like the fact that the rest of you don't really know what we really get up to.......).

Anyway, I've had a few hilarious travel moments over the years (I knew that would shock and surprise you) and I'm going to share them while I'm away. I hope you will share some of yours too.

A few of the highlights (and you won't see a castle, cathedral or tacky souvenir in sight) will include:

George Clooney Where Are You Godammit - Italian Holiday
My God, there really is a Relic Older than You - Pompeii Holiday
How the Other Half Live - London Holiday
Did you Say you Came from Austria - USA Holiday
Stay away from Candles they can Burn Down Buildings - German Holiday
I thought the Lochness Monster was a Myth - Scottish holiday

I will catch up with you and your blogs when I get back from...........OK, OK Jlo, I can hear you 12,000 miles away ....I’m c-o-m-i-n-g.

You’re going to have to catch me at Jlos to find out where I’m off to (unless you want to guess) because I’m running late..... the cab is waiting.....and...

I’ll send you a post card.....well I would if I knew your address.....maybe I can post while I'm away I'm not sure yet. The good news is that I'm bringing back some ‘shopping’ from my holiday for a competition in December so you can get to enjoy my holiday too.

Hoo Roo

Lilly
x

A Sucker is born every minute

and you're looking right at one.


There's an old saying about fooling all the people part of the time and fooling part of the people all of the time, yet not being able to fool all of the people all of the time....or something like that.

Well I am one of those people who is easily fooled. A sucker, some may say.

I admit it. I am gulli-bla-holic. And, its a condition I'm working hard at overcoming. One day at a time.

I believe people, on the whole, are honest. I believe that there is more good in people than bad. And that only people in pain cause pain.

And yes, I may still believe in Santa Claus too.

I don't think I'm naive or necessarily a pushover. I just believe people are telling the truth until a big red flag hits me over the head. Unfortunately though, there have been a few occasions in my life where the red flags have had to hit me very hard to get my attention.

I'm just not your typical Australian who has a built in bull sh** detector. The lifeguard was looking the other way when I was wading in the wrong end of the gene pool.

I think I wear the gullibility badge permanently engraved on my forehead. In fact it shines like a magnetic beacon to alert those with con-like pursuits that I am a worthy target. I entice them like moths to a flame.

Now don't get me wrong. I haven't had a sheltered life. I've travelled widely. I've run companies. Met all sorts. In fact I used to manage a social security office back in the dark ages before I saw the light. I got used to seeing all sorts of con artists and liars (poverty has a strange way of doing that to some people). I've had guns pointed at me, people swearing at me, threats of physical violence and heard lots of lies. And that was just from the staff.

So, I'm not immune to the 'bad or evil' in the world. I just don't assume that every person I meet is from the same 'neck of the woods'.

Seeing this kind of flawed human behaviour up close and personal has never damaged my faith in people at large. It didn't even make a dent in my attitude. Only the odd scratch.

A recent email from my sister reminded me that this has more than likely been a life long affliction. This gullibility condition.

She sent me a series of photos from a recent fashion show.

The photos were great until I discovered THIS.

Hidden amongst the glamour shots.

Take a look at THIS.

It's the stuff of nightmares. My nightmares. And my sister knows it.

Let me explain.

When I was a child, every Australian town seemed to have a Scottish band (now I cannot explain this at all except there seemed to be an oversupply of Scottish band members who wanted to migrate to Australia, or it may be that it was a crime to be in a Scottish Band and they sent them here as convicts). Who knows, it was just the way it was. So, on days when there were special parades through the city, these bands would usually lead the charge.

It wasn't the fact they wore skirts which upset me, it was what the Drum Major wore on his head that had me shrieking and running for cover. I was terrified.

Let's take a closer look.

Tell me, what kind of animal is that? I am talking about the one on his head not on his lip.

He is wearing a bear on his head in the same kind of casual way that some people wear cats draped around their necks. They so do...... I was led to believe, by persons closely related to me, that this style of head dress was a 'living creature'.

You can imagine how I felt when years later, after having avoided such spectacles, I went to live in Scotland. The land of the Drum Major and the Lochness Monster. I feared turning every corner, just in case.... I stumbled upon....well, ....men wearing tartan skirts with bears on their heads. It should have been a warning to me because I did have a run in with a ferocious bear while there...but that's a whole other story for a whole other post.

My older sisters, also known as persons closely related to me, still think my childhood fears are ......humouress.

They are the same caring sisters who told me that Vegemite (a delicacy enjoyed by Aussies) was made of cow's blood. Yes, I believed them. If you can't believe your sisters when you're five, what hope do you have?

They also told me that there were mice in ice cubes. Yes, mice in ice cubes. I gave up ice cubes for a time too and just had my whisky straight until I was about 12 (don't email Des I am kidding...).

I recall spending hours looking at ice cubes, with a magnifying glass, trying to see if the mice would move. The hours I wasted watching those ice cubes melt......

As for Scottish bands, I hear that all my anti-fur campaigning has worked a charm and they are replacing their headgear...bearskin hats....with artificial fur thanks to the information bonny wee Scottish lassie, Kate, sent me. Please check out Kate's very funny blog, Shambles Manor. I can assure you there's not a bearskin in sight.

Meanwhile, I'm just looking forward to Christmas and seeing Santa Claus again...

So tell me, are you easily fooled (the foolie), not easily fooled (foolproof) or one of those people who like to play the fool (the fooler)?

PS. Any con artists out there who think I am open to manipulation.....please slowly back away from my blog....the beacon has run out of batteries..... and that includes any psychiatrists looking for new business .....although I am more than happy to give you my sisters' emails...you only have to ask.

Could you forgive and forget?

A friend of mine (who knows I am blogging about this) announced a couple of days ago that she had recently caught her husband having an affair with a work colleague.

He claimed it was just a 'one night stand'.

She asked me what I thought.

Well, to be honest, I was sitting there thinking how much easier it would have been if President Elect Obama had asked for my opinion on the world economic crisis.

I could have answered that question.

I hate these kinds of conversations.

I hate relationship questions. Full stop. Particularly when I am being asked about someone else's relationship.

But she's my friend. I wanted to say something meaningful. I felt her pain but...

I suggested she have a big piece of cheesecake and change the subject. "What about handbags and shoes instead?" I suggested. No, I guess not. I told her that I was very sorry and that she alone knows what’s right for her and maybe she and her husband are better talking to a counsellor. And then I ordered the cheesecake. It's always better to handle these moments with your mouth full, don't you think?

Of course, other people she confided in are all abuzz. Why would she put up with it? What a cheat he is. How could she take him back? How could he do that to her?

She told me she wasn't interested in counselling as she had already forgiven him - without much hesitation either. She was over it really.
She said that "everyone knows these things can happen in a relationship," and she felt it was behind them. She said that they loved each other as much now as they did when they had married and he promised “not to let it happen again”.

So, why did she ask me I wonder? I think that perhaps she wasn't really asking for my opinion or advice but she was trying to work out how common this is. The Extramarital Fling.

I don't really know as it's not the kind of thing people go around bragging about is it?

I admire her though. I am not sure if I could forgive so easily. She is being either incredibly mature and sensible or incredibly naive. I guess only time will tell.

To me, the deal breaker is always the level of deceit involved. He didn't tell her, she had to 'find out'. I guess you can only learn that the hard way. The betrayal is the worst. I would always rather know the truth no matter how painful it may be. Unmasking lies is an easier task when the liar is no more than a casual acquaintance. On the other hand close relationships provide a great camouflage for lies and intimacy provides a heavily-fortressed breeding ground. I have experienced this too, although not quite in this context.

If Alfred Kinsey's 1948 findings - that 50 per cent of all married males and 26 per cent of married women have some form of extra-marital sex - are anything to go by, I guess it's no wonder people choose to forgive and forget. Kinsey was a Professor of Zoology which made me wonder about his findings but apparently recent research indicates that his numbers were accurate. Women are now fast closing the gap and the numbers are growing.

Many claim that a one-night stand is only there to boost a person's ego, fulfill a void in a relationship, or that it's "just sex" and means nothing. Others believe that breaking the solemn vow of holy matrimony is unforgivable, no matter what the circumstances. Others say it’s all about breaching trust and once that is broken you can never easily recover.

I guess forgiving a one-night stand can either be seen as a courageous act in an attempt to allow a relationship to continue and a family to remain intact, or a short sighted decision that will only lead to continued heartbreak. For those who've attempted to forgive a cheater, you'll know what I'm talking about. For the rest, being judgemental is an easy response, until you're in the same position that is ...

What do you think? Could you forgive? Do you think Kinsey's statistics are accurate?


PS. For those people who think they have enough problems handling real world relationships, read this story about a couple in the UK who are divorcing because of a virtual affair - there is a point where staying on the computer for any length of time is entirely unhealthy....

Friends

This is my friend Julian who is from Cardiff, Wales. He sent me this video link of him singing as he likes to do. Singing I mean, not sending videos.

Well I understand all about loving to sing because I like to sing too. Except no-one encourages it. Goodness knows why. I really like his voice and he doesn't quite believe me. Simply because he plays the guitar really well. And football too. So, you listen and let me know what you think. Of his voice. Don't mention the shirt because I am totally undecided yet whether its his colour. It's an old Elvis song I believe.

Oh and I really like to discover new talent so if you have any one you know who is a great singer, dancer, artist or whatever I am happy to feature them on my blog. I am just amazed (and totally jealous) that there are so many clever people out there.

Must get my juggling balls out and show you what I can do sometime.......and on that note, Braja (Lost and Found in India blog), it's like this, I am not as clever as you (or as funny, you have to check her blog) and can't blog everyday....its all those balls I have to juggle...sometimes they land on my head....besides silence is golden and some of us live in VERY QUIET cities where nothing much happens.

And Julian yes we know you just did it off the cuff in your lounge room or where ever so we will take that into account. I don't mean to throw the spotlight on you but when a person (moi) doesn't have any talents of their own they have to live through others' musical talents.....so you are doing me the favour...because you have heard me sing and it's either you or me on here....oh yes, I thought somehow you would see it my way...that's what friends are for.

PS I lost everyone off my blog roll and am trying to add all my favourite blogs again - bear with me...

Silent Sundays

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I went to our local Zoo today to do some work and while I was there I took a few pictures of some of the residents (click on the image to enlarge). I was impressed with the brown bear who was standing up playing with a tyre hanging from a tree. He was having lots of fun but I resisted the urge to join him! Sometimes, more than one is a crowd.

While I was there I took a special picture for fellow blogger Pearl from Pearl, why you little...blog. Pearl made the comment on Des's last post that she "had a hard time believing that there ARE kangaroos. Silly animals! I've never seen one live; and the thought of them bounding across an open plain is just confounding."

You see, it's like this Pearl. The Kangaroos that you see in your Zoos may just be the ordinary kind of guys that we allow to emigrate to the USA. They 'bound' and don't do much else. The guys that we have here are a lot more talented. That's why I thought I would take this picture of Big Boy Booza who was kicking back at the Zoo today. He was propped up at the bar drinking Fosters for the whole three hours I was there. Watching football with his mates. He was a little wobbly on his legs afterwards ....but thank goodness he was close to home. So now what do you say?
From The Mind of A Mom, now can you see why we have to tie our kangaroos down, sport.

And Barbara (Barbara Blundell's Blog), I have to confess that when I was walking around the Zoo I thought of you too. Actually I felt guilty being there taking pictures of caged animals because I know that I, including your other loyal readers, want to free all these animals when we get to rule the world. One day.

So, making sure I was not letting the team down, because I did feel overwhelmed by those bears, tigers and giraffes, I came home via the Restaurant that serves the live lobster. I summoned up some courage and I placed this sign at the entrance door. I hope you will be proud of my efforts......ummmm, maybe you might get a few extra visitors to your blog....by the name of Constable something or other.... hope you don't mind..



Happy Sunday everyone and I can't close the comments today because I want to know what you think of the hunky Kangaroos we have here. Especially you Pearl.

Message from your Mother

Note to new readers: Message from your Mother is a series of letters written by Lilly to her daughter which are based on their most recent phone call. The letters are often written in the kind of irrational way that seems to come naturally to most mothers when providing advice to their children. You will always find a hidden message though if you look hard enough.



Hi there

I enjoyed our conversation last night about the need for that 'must have' accessory, called confidence. I have been thinking some more about this. I know how you 'love' me giving you advice but you also know how much I love donning my mother cape ...(just humour me a bit).

I agree, I think it's sad when people constantly criticise others for no good reason. It took me a long time and a hell of a lot of criticism to realise that the weather is the best teacher of all (besides your grandfather of course) when it comes to understanding how to deal with overly critical types.

No, this is going somewhere I promise you. It always does, it’s just that I always seem to take the longest route to get there as you know. But the journey is always scenic, right?

Anyway, it’s like this, we cannot change the weather, we just have to accept it because we can't change a thing. Do you think the weather pays any attention to our criticism? No, it just does what it does and keeps on its path. The weather is one incredibly confident atmospheric condition. We need to be as confident on the path we choose to take.

People who are overly critical or aggressive often come from a place of total insecurity. We don't associate loud aggressive types with being insecure but they usually are. They often want control over others and the fact is, they should have no more control over others than any of us have over the weather.

I've never seen a happy, self confident person being abusive to someone else or putting others down. The two never mix. People with low confidence are not sure about anything. They do not accept they are unique nor do they accept the way they have been made. They want to be someone they are not. They are double-minded, indecisive people who constantly get frustrated with life. And with others. If they do make a decision, they are tormented by self-doubt. They second-guess (and third- and fourth-guess) themselves. As a result, they don't live boldly. They live little, narrow lives, and they miss out on the big, rewarding lives. And they can end up being critical and angry people just wanting to bring others down with them. Unfortunately they are best to avoid or ignore. Truly.

So having self confidence is a must-have accessory it's true. Confidence is our fuel and without it you're just like a shiny jet airplane (some of us are jumbos and need more fuel) sitting on the tarmac doing nothing but staring into space. Waiting.

Being confident is about living without fear. Being true to who we are. It’s something we all should strive to do every day of our lives. I was trying to find an image which kind of represents what I am trying to say. I found this one. Its abstract I agree, but tell me how confident do you think you would have to be to wear this? It would be like walking down the main street naked, no?

So, I think you should keep that bag in mind when thinking about confidence. Confident people are bold, open, willing to share, transparent and classy. They are authentic with a touch of mystery.

As your grandmother always says, your handbag holds your life so it's wise to choose a beautiful life. And I'll add to that and say, the most beautiful life of all is a confident one.

Love

Your Mother xx

PS. Do you think this sounds like a plausible reason to buy that new authentic Oroton handbag? I noticed it in their summer catalogue today. When I saw it I immediately thought of one word only, confidence. Followed very closely by a few more words, I just have to have it. No seriously, my message to you is not really about giving myself an excuse to buy a new handbag. I truly did want to give you advice about ignoring critical people.....but....somehow that bag appeals to me even more now.....I like the idea of living boldly.....transparently....being true to who I am...... and I think you just saw straight through me....****!!!!

The Race that Stopped a Nation

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In fact, there have been two races that stopped the nation - and all in the one week.

Close to home, the $5.1 m Melbourne Cup, the World's greatest handicap race, and its winner, Viewed, set the country abuzz. It's the one event of the year that literally stops the entire nation in its tracks.

Australians love their leisure and worship their sport. Everyone, of every age and walk of life, stops to watch this race on the second Tuesday of every November. It's the one race where any horse can come up and win despite the odds. This year was no exception.

How close is that finish? The winner got the most out of his mount to secure a memorable victory by the barest possible margin - a nose. It’s the one time of the year a big nose comes in handy. It gives me great comfort just knowing that, truly.

Of course every year I have a ‘flutter’ and every year I lose. I am not a quitter though. It’s too much fun! It’s not every day you get to wear a hat and drink champagne all day starting before breakfast!

Likewise, the buzz surrounding the most important race of all, the US Presidential Election, came to fever pitch today. Congratulations to president elect Barack Obama. He has made history and everyone will remember this day for as long as they live. Never let it be said that a nation can stop a race ever again.

Of course, with every hard fought contest, there is not only a winner but also a loser.

It’s like yin and yang, positive and negative, action and reaction, my ex and me, Bush and Gore. Although, sometimes the gloss quickly wears off the winner and they too become losers.

However, no-one likes a sore loser. It’s much better to smile than to pout, shed tears, throw a temper tantrum, punch someone, cry unfair, ask for a recount or ring your lawyer. As hard as it may be. As every plastic surgeon will tell you, appearances are everything. Particularly when you have billions of cameras focused on you, waiting for the smile to crack and the tears to fall.

John McCain could hardly be described as a loser, in any sense of the word. He was absolutely gracious in defeat and extremely sincere in his wishes for the 44th President of the United States. He showed real class after a hard fought battle.

Australians, for some bizarre reason, are fascinated by losers. We cheer for the underdog, pull for the downtrodden, and love watching them get up and win. We even go so far as to bet on losers to win (even though that may be more a matter of greed since the odds are so much better. Plus, if the dark horse actually does win, like at the Melbourne Cup yesterday, then suddenly there are two losers who for once turned out to be winners).

Everyone knows how to win. It comes easy. However, since we all have to lose at one time or another, as I do at every Cup day, here are a few simple guidelines which hopefully will make you a better loser.

1. Always smile and congratulate the winner, telling them how happy you are for them. Watch the Oscars to see how the professionals do it. Or better still, look to Susan Luci who missed out on an Emmy Award at least 5,000 times before she finally won one. Hopefully, you can be just a little bit more sincere then the Aussie cricket team who recently lost a cricket test to India. They suddenly forgot they had a TV audience of lip readers who recognised that the word they kept muttering over and over rhymed with the cricketing term ‘duck’.
   
   
2. Memorise as many appropriate platitudes as possible, like “May the best man/horse win”, “Winning isn’t everything”, and “It’s not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game.” Try to avoid saying things like, “Some things are more important than winning, like integrity and honesty”, “Cheaters never prosper”, “There are some defeats more triumphant than victories”, “The most dangerous moment comes with victory” or any word that rhymes with duck.
   
   
3. Remind yourself that no one loses all the time. Even Sylvester Stallone made some good movies early on in his career.
   
   
4. Know when to give up. Remember, Kenny Rogers once sang, “You have to know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em.” Of course he didn’t take his own advice when it came to plastic surgery but he still has some winning songs, particularly after a few drinks at the races and some pathetic sounding Kareoke...

In all seriousness, I wish the USA and its citizens positive days ahead. Maybe a few more well intentioned platitudes will help for those who feel the need for them. "Change is as good as a holiday". "It was a race well fought to the end". "The best is yet to come". "Every cloud has a silver lining" and "winners are grinners and losers can please themselves".

Even more seriously, I salute all my American blogging friends because no matter which side of politics you sit, you showed the rest of the world exactly what your country means to you. You involved us all in this great race. It was a contest fought with a great deal of passion and heart. And that, at the end of the day, is what counts. Your love and pride for your country and your strong views on your place in the world speaks volumes.

Everyone is sure to win as a result. You should all have a glass of champagne. Seriously!

PS. Rhonda asked me the obvious question. Which horse won? The top horse in the photo won by a whisker!

Des Says

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New Readers - Des is Lilly's occasional guest blogger and her 81 year old father. You can read his first post here.

Hello Bloggers.

Lilly let me come back. With one proviso. That I don’t tell too many stories about her.

I didn’t make any promises so I’ll see what I can get away with.

I told you I was going to share my father’s Six Essentials of Life with you.

If you’re looking for something deep and meaningful about loving, laughing, learning and living you are not going to find it here. You might have better luck with a fortune cookie. My father’s advice wasn’t so special but the lessons it taught me were.

My father was a farmer who raised cattle, sheep and also grew wheat. He also owned a small horse stud and trained many winning racehorses and polo ponies many of which were sent to India. Shooting and riding were skills that most young men, especially those in rural areas, learned in their childhood and early teens so his advice is hardly surprising.

He told me to:
1. Learn to be a good horseman.
2. Have pets and look after them.
3. Always have a vegetable garden.
4. Own a pocket knife and gun and learn to use them properly.
5. Play team sports.
6. Treat everyone with respect no matter who they are.

Now all that sounds a bit simple doesn’t it?

I think the lessons we need to learn as children are no different today. Children need to be shown how to live not just told how to live.

I rode a horse from when I was a baby. That’s me on my horse at 12 months old. You may notice I was bald. That’s why I have a good head of hair now. I was a late starter and I hope to be a slow finisher. I used to ride my horse Nabob six miles to and from school each day. I learnt not only how to ride and look after a horse but more importantly how to fall off a horse and get back up again. Sometimes we need to let our children fall and get up on their own in order to develop the resilience they need to cope with life’s ups and downs.

Living on a farm, I had lots of pets. I had a pet kangaroo, lambs, calves, dogs, chickens, pigeons, cats and a goat. That’s me on the left with my goat Billy (no, I am not very creative, my kangaroo’s name was Joey). Animals teach us some amazing lessons - embracing change positively, unconditional acceptance, moving past fear and bringing out the best in each other.

I’ve always had a vegetable garden no matter where I’ve lived. That’s a picture of me this week in my new vegetable garden. As well as the obvious benefits, which are particularly poignant in our current economic times, it’s a very healthy pastime. You get exercise by being active outdoors, it’s convenient as you can just go and pick your vegetables when you need, you know what you’re eating and the produce is significantly cheaper than buying it from a shop. I think the best lesson I learnt though is that you can bury a lot of your troubles in the dirt. Everyone needs a place to bury their troubles.

When I was a child the pocket knife was the first universal tool you were given. To skin rabbits or carve cricket bats. I realise now that today schools have to confiscate guns and knives as kids come into school. Dangerous tools are both powerful and empowering at the same time. There are many more dangerous things that children get access to these days. I don’t think we should try to keep our children away from danger, thinking we can protect them. If they are available, and invariably they are drawn to it, we need to make sure they know how to handle themselves and understand the impact of danger.

Sport was a very important part of my life well into my fifties. I played tennis, football and cricket. Sport teaches you to be a modest winner and a good loser. You develop a stronger sense of belonging, are more involved in the community, are less self-centred and open to learning. What I learnt was that life is not a spectator sport. It is a full contact event requiring your action and participation. We all need to give it our all.

My father’s advice of being nice and respectful to others sounds like a platitude but it is the only thing to do. He taught me that people should be respected and trusted as people, not because of their position or title. Frequently, position or title did not reflect the true merits of a person.

And finally, the best advice my father gave me was, 'when everything gets really complicated and you feel overwhelmed, you have to do three things. First, get the car out of the ditch. Second, find out how the car got into the ditch. Third, make sure you do whatever it takes so the car doesn't go into the ditch again.'

Given this is so long, I just have a quick ‘Lilly story’ that she told me today. Lilly is on her usual creative splurge before Christmas. Today she went into a fabric shop and when she approached the counter, the shop assistant asked her loudly, ‘Are you a bag lady?’ ‘Excuse me?’ Lilly said. Lilly was insulted thinking this woman was casting aspersions on her. The lady, finally realising that Lilly didn’t have a clue what she was talking about, explained that anyone who was doing their latest sewing course to make bags gets a 10% store discount and participants are known as ‘bag ladies’. So, it looks like Lilly is not only not normal but a bag lady as well...

What do you think was the best advice your mother or father gave you?


PS To Lilly’s Aussie readers I am off to the Melbourne Cup celebrations (biggest horse race in Australia) tomorrow and I hope you pick a winner.

Silent Sundays

Isn't she beautiful! I am not a great rose lover but this one in the garden in its hot pink glory was just too gorgeous not to take a picture of. My favourite flowers are white lilies ...in fact anything in cream and white. The picture under the Observation section in the left hand column shows other gorgeous flowers in the garden. You have to love Spring....

Comments closed on Sundays for religious reasons (just kidding....have a lie in ...it's Sunday after all)

The Lingerie making an arse of itself

among other things.1. Arse-thetic, gorg-arse or ridicul-arse?

Lilly's Life isn’t normally seen as one of those kind of blogs although, judging from the search words some people use to get here, you would think otherwise. I have to tell you that according to my blog's Google stats there are a lot of people in the world who want to know how to have sex on a moving motorbike.

Cyril was one of them. He sent me an email about that particular post requesting more information. He had no luck. I am over the hill and the only kind of exercise that I am likely to have outside with the wind blowing through my hair is to drive with the car window open. I merely report the news Cyril, I don't necessarily live it.

So, at the risk of giving Cyril yet another thrill, and getting another email, I couldn’t resist posting this picture of what I consider to be the world’s most least erotic lingerie item ever.

This item, which is new to the market, is called the the Double-O Thong and its stated purpose is to lift your backside while flattening your stomach. Sounds good.

Except, look at IT!
What self respecting woman would be caught dead in this flesh-toned ensemble? Would you?

And moving from the ridiculous to the more seriously ridiculous.

2. “You, the little people, will be easy to 'smack down'” (no pun intended - it is a serious quote).
From a terrorist. And yes, he apparently is talking about us. In the West.

Six years ago Islamic militants, known as the Bali bombers, killed over 200 people in Bali, many of them Australians on holiday. Just another act of terrorism. On the eve of their executions by firing squad, the bombers have called for revenge against the West and have warned the US to expect defeat. One of the terrorists, said that every "fellow Muslim" needed to raise his hands "to offend the infidels [non-believers] that wronged the Muslims". This, he warned, would be the only way to stop "their cruelty to us".

I guess this is what you might expect from deranged killers. I guess they don't see that killing 200 innocent people was being cruel either. The mother of two of the bombers says her sons were right to kill non Muslims. "I don't cry. I leave it all to God," she said "I feel that killing them isn't a mistake because they don't pray."

Right, I am a mother who believes in God too. How does this kind of brainwashing happen? Are we just as brainwashed by our religions perhaps? Seriously, life is too hard to fathom sometimes.
In fact, sometimes I just want to curl up in bed and stay there.

3. A Great Bed-escape

And given I may be spending a lot of time under the covers given the news only seems to be getting worse, I have to show you this great bedscape (well I never knew about scapes before until I went to Shelia’s blog and saw her tablescape. I assume you can have a bedscape too).

So here it is - a display I saw in a store yesterday which has inspired me no end (click on the image to see those gorgeous cushions). I am going to try and do this myself. I think our beds are THE most important pieces of furniture in our homes and should be dressed accordingly.

4. Some things should be kept under the covers, Nicole!

And finally, I really feel the need to say this. For the good of a fellow Aussie. Nicole Kidman, p-l-e-a-s-e STOP giving any more interviews because you are sounding more 'lame' with each one printed! I know you are happy but...

"And I think giving birth to a child, as a woman, is what we're born to do. "It's very bittersweet," Kidman told Parade magazine. "My relationship with death used to be far more ambivalent, I think, and now it's very much about staying in the world.” Nicole, you just had a baby you didn’t find a cure for cancer! You are starting to sound more and more like Tom with each passing day....how is that possible?

By the way, Des will be back on Monday – he is keeping his post top secret until I have to publish it for him. I am telling you if there are any more stories about me ....I’ll....I'll .... cry ....then laugh, no doubt.

Have great weekend!