Monday 5 January 2009

When your resolutions nearly get you arrested

I should be ashamed that I'm even going to share this story with you. Well you and anyone else out there in Internetland who happens to stumble on this post while searching for the term, crazy Australian woman.

I don't know what came over me yesterday. But over me it came.

I learnt a lesson.

I learnt that it's dangerous to go
cold turkey from white sugar, white flour, chocolate, dairy, coffee, diet coke and alcohol all at the same time. And moreso, that it is completely deranged to attempt such a thing when you have PMT.

It's a lethal combination.

Yesterday was Day 4 of my New Years Resolutions.

They say it only takes 21 days to break a habit. Well the truth is, it only took me three and a half days to nearly get arrested. So I am not sure what else I can expect between Day 5 and Day 21.

It all started like this. I was dropping my daughter at the airport late yesterday. Of course we were running late because she had to wrestle with her suitcase for some time to try and get it closed.
Post Christmas Sales Syndrome.
Anyone who has read my Message from your Mother series knows my daughter always likes to tell me things that are often unsettling to me even if they aren't to her.

So she picked that moment to tell me that a couple of weeks ago she had been mistaken for a prostitute. She had been walking to the local shops one evening (she lives in an inner city area) and a shady looking guy pulled over in his car and asked her if she was looking for a "gentleman" (Is that what they call themselves these days? Yuk!).

Of course I fired 52 questions at her - "what were you wearing?", "how were you walking?", "what time was it?", " why do you have to walk so much, exercise is overrated, take your car"..... Jewish mothers have nothing on me. Even I feel sorry for her.

Then, as we neared the airport, she got a phone call from my sister to say that she had left her handbag behind and that my sister would drop it off. How we missed a bright green handbag, resembling Kermit, is totally beyond me.

I pulled into the drop off zone, and after a few minutes spent discussing how she could board a plane without ID, she started taking her suitcases out of the car. I then heard a guy yell at her to "move it along". She tried to explain that she had forgotten her bag and that's why she was a little slow to get out of the car. Anyway, he kept up his obnoxious performance and continued berating her. Even though we were the only car there.

It was all too much for me.

I opened the window and yelled out into the
never-never, "Don't be so rude, you ******* ********!!!!!

Keep in mind that at this point I had only heard the guy's voice - I hadn't actually seen him.

Then I heard an "OH... MY.... GOD.....MUM!"

I looked in the rear vision mirror and saw a man striding towards me. His chest was puffed out, he had a scowl on his face, he was wearing a blue uniform, with shiny badges all over him. I had made a fatal error.

I had just yelled obscenities at a P -O -L -I -C -E O-F-F-I-C-E-R. A seemingly angry one at that.

He pulled the car door open and said, "Madam, what did you just say to me?"

I said, "Well you were being incredibly rude. And while I apologise for swearing I still think you shouldn't yell at people like that for no real reason". (Oh the irony...)

He yelled something back at me which was like waving a red flag to an IDIOT.

Do you think I could have just left it there? Oh no, of course not. I was on a roll.

I sarcastically said in a very calm voice, "I cannot help it if you hate your job and have to take it out on us but go ahead and arrest me if it makes you feel more important. Oh, and by the way, have you just given up junk food as part of your New Years resolutions too because that would explain everything?"

From his seering reply it would appear that he didn't appear to like me very much and nor did he seem to have much time for New Year resolutions.

Thank goodness my sister pulled up with the handbag just in time for my daughter to board the plane and for me to avoid handcuffs.

The red faced police officer just waved the equally red faced me off with a whoosh of his hand.

So I figure that I need to stay close to home over the next couple of weeks. I've grounded myself until Day 21 and am laying low. Perhaps jail may have been the best option.

I am suitably remorseful and have now added never swear at public officials again on my ever growing list of resolutions.

There is a first time for everything but strangely swearing at a police officer wasn't on my list of 1001 things to do before I die. I can't imagine why.

Roll on Day 21.

And if anyone has any medication they would like to recommend, I am all ears (and all mouth too it would seem).


  1. Oh Lilly! You DO have a way with words! Yes, I do believe you should lie low for the next couple of weeks. For your own good!

  2. Oh, my goodness...Lil ole' you picking a fight with a big ole' policeman! Just don't believe it. Too Funny, that is things that usually happen to me!

  3. I'm going to FedEx you a Diet Coke, my friend :)

    And as for the "gentleman" (we call them 'johns' here)who tried to pick up your daughter, I just cannot say what I'm thinking because I've given up curse words. At least for now. The guy was a scumbag.

  4. Oh, Lilly, you are such a delightful hoot! The ass that was after your daughter -- should be called names a lot worse than that. As for the policeman, well, they need to shut him up someplace with a woman just like you to rant and rave until he gets on his knees and begs for forgiveness. It's a cold miserable day here and I feel as bitchy as can be! You go, girl!

  5. So I'm wondering if maybe you should think about thinning out your list to just a couple of things you're giving up?

    Or, you know, stay away from the rest of mankind until Day 21, that could work, too.

    (Do the folks at your office read your blog? If not, is there some way we can warn them?)

  6. He deserved it. Don't feel bad at all! What a bully.

  7. You CRACK ME UP!! I love every single one of your posts. Funny, serious, philosophical, dreamy. Every. Single. One.

    Whatever you do in the new year, just please keep on writing!

  8. LOL...You are always SO funny!
    I wish I could have seen this!

  9. LOL
    That is a very funny story!!!

    Thanks for the very good read!!!

  10. Hahahahaha!!!! This is HILARIOUS!!!!!

  11. People underestimate how anything other than their professional work experience or worldly insight could be of real value to someone. We forget that we also set examples that teach others what not to do. That also offers value and in many cases, priceless humour.

  12. Oh my gosh, you are priceless and hilarious and sweet all wrapped up in one. Even if you do get angry. This line, was the funniest of all,
    "From what he had to say it would appear that he didn't like me very much". You think, ha ha?

    This will keep me laughing all day and whenever I see a policeman again I will smile just thinking of you. I would love to hear his version of the story, he he!!!!

    I agree with Gran, you need some Diet Coke, girl!!

  13. Oh dearest, Lilly! I would have done the same thing!! hee hee

    And you cracked me up with your comment "How we missed a bright green handbag, resembling Kermit, is beyond me."


  14. HAPPY NEW YEAR~! Come get your free 8x10 David Bowman print! Hurry it ends soon! You need to post and e-mail David by noon Jan. 5th :) Hope you are having a beautiful Sunday! ♥ Hugs :) Shauna

  15. You tell him, Lilly! Haha! If he only knew you'd be bloggin about him, too....(giggle)

  16. Great post, Lilly. You really are a jewish mother. Check out your Chutzpah!

  17. Don't care what the reasons were or how you got there - the goddam cop was wrong. Common sense? They don't have any. Shut it buster!

    (I was never serious about wanting to visit Australia anyway).


  18. I am entirely speechless. I am laughing too hard. He deserved it.

  19. Hey Lilly, I've just tried to guess what you called him. Does the first word start with f and the last work d by chance?

  20. Lilly, can I recommend holding this one off until NEXT year's resolutions? If you're not doing anything fun, what are you going to blog about? lol

  21. oh I love it...I'm not the only crazy woman around..I once told a Texas Ranger(and yes they are almost all over 6 feet tall) who was showing me his gun, tying to intimidate me, that frued said that the bigger a mans gun the smaller his dick, and would he like to show me his dick to prove him wrong?..good look with all your resolutions..when I found out I was a diabetic I had to give up every thing I sucked..and still does.

  22. @ Joanie - yep sometimes though its just not the right kind of words.

    @ Darsden - oh yes, I am not really the passive kind but usually far more sensible....

    @ Gran - I think I could do with that Diet Coke but I am trying to be healthy although unhinged obviously comes with good health.

    @ Sylvia - I like you and I like your style. Wish we lived closer! I promise not to swear at you.

    @ Jeanne - yes, that would be the sensible option. Can you tell I am that kind of all or nothing personality? Thanks for your comment.

    @ The Blonde Duck - he was a bully except I thought I was retaliating the same way. I am still shocked at my outburst....I usually try to save those to people who know me....really well.

    @ For Myself - oh that is the sweetest thing anyone has said to me. Thank you, truly. I intend to try and keep writing. Thanks again.

    @ Tabby - mmm, if you had seen it you probably would have one, been embarassed and two had your mouth open at the public display. Oh I didnt tell you either that I hadnt brushed dmy hair, I was wearing gardening clothes and I looked a real sight to behold. Oh yes...

    @ Nina - were you laughing at me or with me, lol!!! Glad you stopped by you creative one you.

  23. @ Yaya - its always hilarious after the event when you get out of these situations unscathed. I wouldnt like to be blogging from prison. Thanks for dropping by!!

    @ Liara - lesson and humor. Yes I need your site for 2009. I promise to be a more avid reader and focus on the spiritual side moreso. Thanks for dropping by.

    @ Sarah - glad it made you smile and laugh and all that. Some of us are examples for others. Thats the way I see myself now. LOL!!

    @ Alex actually the bag was a present from me to my daughter. I wasnt sure the colour would work but hey it does! A kermit green and all.

    @ Trying to stay calm - thanks for the offer.

    @ Tasha - well I did ask him his name but I thought better about using it the post. LOL!! Thanks for dropping by.

  24. @ Anns Rants - is there a difference between Chutzpah and being a big mouth, lol!!

    @ Cjw666- oh you know that you want to come to Australia - I would visit you in jail, it wouldnt be that bad!

    @ Stefan - you could be right but I am not sayin....

    @ Rhonda - yes you could be right. I just regret not having more kids and hence more blogging material. You mothers with lots of kids look at the bright side....

    @ Yellowdog granny - bet that Ranger didnt know what hit him! You are hilarious, glad I found your blog as long as you don't lead me astray!!

  25. Oh my goodness, Lilly, that was a great story (for us readers, not so much for you, I'm guessing). I don't blame you for what you said but I have to make one comment.

    Having read many of your exploits and the resulting bits of wisdom offered to you by your parents in the form of parental advice, I must say that I'm sure somewhere along the line either your Mum or Dad MUST have said these prophetic words to you, "Lilly, look before you leap!"

    But, even if they did, I'm glad you ignored them because it sure made for a good laugh. Although I wouldn't be laughing if the officer had actually arrested you. Somehow, though, I have the feeling you could even have talked your way out of that one. :)

  26. My gosh, Lilly, you should write a column for a newspaper. I was at the edge of my seat reading your post. All I can say is the policeman deserved it but that was definitely scary.

  27. @ Matt - lol, mmmmm, yes you could be right I think I may have done so too. Seriously though I have never done anything like that in my life. I have only been pulled up by the police once and yes I did talk my way out of that one too. I was on the way to the dentist..and was running late and speeding. I blogged about that too. It's the fact I sweared at the guy that is totally deranged. I admit it. It was wrong even though it was funny, after the event......let me be a lesson to all. Swear under your breath just do not scream it out in public...

  28. @ Kay - I am not sure a newspaper could handle the possible lawsuits, he he. I may be a new women once I give up sugar I think its akin to poison, truly! Thanks for dropping by.

  29. That was hilarious!!!! Things may get boring if you ground yourself though! :)

  30. Lilly, I think its good for these police types to hear stuff like this once in a while. In addition to giving up all these poisons (white flour, sugar etc etc), maybe you also need to practice getting out slowly from your car (they only see your legs for like 15 seconds), and slowly turning your head towards the policeman with one eyebrow raised. Thats sure to flour, sorry floor him, and keep him dumbstruck.

    Incidentally, have you tried jaggery instead of sugar? It is the stuff that gets created at the molasses stage, is not refined like sugar, but has all the good minerals and stuff, including iron. We use it a lot in our traditional cooking, and you will get it in Indian food stores.

    Wonderful post....

  31. @ Psych Babbler - I know, I know. Boring is good it is so underated!!

    @ Ugich Konitari - LOL, that is great advice. I have eyebrows that move like that too. I must practice and learn to keep my mouth closed. I am going to email you about an alternative to the whole sugar thing though. Thanks for the tip!!

  32. one word for you...INCOGNITO....
    go with it! :) :) LOL LOL

  33. That's too funny! I'm planning on weaning myself off of caffine and nicotine so I'm probably going to opt for a padded cell :)

  34. @ The Muse - well there's a thought. I could go around town terrorising everyone INCOGNITO. LOL, what a hoot that would be!!

    @ Tiffany - well if you are anything like me, get a padded cell and be prepared! Thanks for dropping by.

  35. Yes I am afraid going without sugar would do the same to me too.

    I wonder how that argument would stand up in a court of law?

    I enjoyed the post a lot. It was great reading from start to finish. I am sure it's not the worst this guy has ever heard either. I think he started it as he should not have been so rude to begin with. There, does that make you feel better? Keep going with your resolutions though! Only 16 days to get through...

  36. Oh Lilly - you POOR soul!

    White sugar, coffee AND coke!

    Sweetie - go hide under the bed.

    You poor darling. I feel for you!

    I can't tell you how many times we have parked over across at the Ansett Air Freight.

    Gosh - I just bought 4 kilos of Vittoria Espresso - it was on sale and I saved a bomb. Now I have to drink it all. ;)

  37. Okay now Lily! Personally i am PROUD of you! Too many of us ladies just simmer and let people like HIM carry on without a word. Good for YOU!
    I had to giggle write so well and have such a great wit.
    I too say all sorts of things to people. Never used to. Maybe it was turning 50 and figuring what the hey! If I see someone doing something ride or bothering anyone...being mean or whatever...I speak up. I have been cursed and also thanked so I figured that the thanks out weigh the cursing!

    I love that you have all of that spunk!!


  38. @ Banoffe - well I am going to try Eugich's suggestion.

    @ Leslie - LOL. However, there is an upside you know. Think of all the money I may save and how that money could go towards a trip to ITALY!!

    @ Sue - how sweet you are. Yes, I just have to temper my anger a bit and act more mature...ha ha. I agree though the older we get the more we realise that we do have something important to say, as long as we are mindful of how we say it and preferable drop the swearing. Truly, I still cannot believe I said it.....

  39. You had us all in stitches Lily.
    If I ever need a laugh I know where to are a shining light.
    You must have nearly wet your pants when you saw he was a cop....and still you continued.
    Kudos for standing your ground, I would have been a shrinking violet!
    Remind me never to get you angry if we are alone together!
    A piece of chocoate a day keep the madness away.

  40. Lay low? I would suggest te opposite considering the funny situations/posts you make us part to :))

  41. Lilly, oh my goodness. Any one of those things would have been the tipping point, but all three! I think this calls for a massive bubble bath, a bit of yoga, and a good book!

    PS You are brave to go cold turkey!

  42. Hi!!! Happy New Year! And might I suggest only giving up one thing at a time! We like your blog..and I am not sure about how good the internet access is in an Aussie jail!

  43. LOL I loved this! I'm so glad it was you and not me though. I cant imagine what I would have done other than slink underneath my front seat!

  44. @ Miruspeg - yes I actually could have cried when I realised he was a cop but it didnt seem to stop my mouth, oh...

    @ Rocksnowhite - thanks for dropping by - yes its only 16 more days.

    @ Just a plane ride away - yes you are right a bit of relaxation sounds good! I need to do some of those things.

    @ Disressing Delilah - Hi there, long time no see. Yes I have overdone it somewhat, which is quite typical. I will come visit and see what you are up to.

  45. @ Dawnie - yes I would have embarassed you. Humiliated you even. It was only funny after the event, he he.

  46. What a funny story!! LOVE it!! I hope you are doing well with your resolution. I don't think I could quite cold turkey either -- kudos to you!!

  47. Oh oh. That was definitely a no-no. Over here in Germany you can't so much a glare at a police officer without him stopping your car immediately.


  48. OMG. I swear you and I were separated at birth.

    Thanks for the comment on my blog post today. Can I send all of your readers there to comment as well? LOL...maybe Vinnie will take our advice seriously if he's bombarded with it!!

  49. I hate laughing at you but that is a GREAT story! And you were right - just because he has a badge doesn't mean he can be rude. She wasn't taking a nap, after all!

  50. ha ha Thank you for sharing! I am having a hard time imagining this in my head but it is just so funny. And what a grouchy old police officer. I bet he probably needed that.

  51. Lilly, I love you. You are absolutely hilarious, and now I don't feel bad for breaking my New Year's resolution to quit swearing. Broke it on the 4th day. Blogged about it. Haven't been able to get my mouth back under control since. lol.

  52. Oh wow. That is hilarious! I can't believe a policeman was talking like that. He was rude. Glad you didn't get arrested. But, then, just think of all the blog fodder you could come up with if you did get arrested. :)

  53. Oh, my precious funniness! This was hilarious! I could see the scene unfolding before my very little eyes! Poor thing, maybe you could eat one little ole piece of chocolate - I won't tell. Anyway, that's too many things to try and give up at once!
    I love you sharing your life with us!
    be a sweetie,
    Shelia ;)

  54. Your motherly instincts had something to do with it too! He deserved it and good for you not getting arrested.

  55. @ Kreated by Kelly - thanks for dropping by - yep its DAY 6 and still going.

    @ Duni - oh I visited Germany and I can imagine. It wouldnt have had the same ending I'm sure. Thanks for your comment.

  56. That is so funny - totally something that I would do! I have to warn you that it took about 1 week before I started feeling in control again after letting go of coffee (cold turkey)... but since you also let go of sugar and everything else that is good in life I can't imagine how long it will take you!

    Make it a great day!

  57. I recommend buying a tiara.
    That's what I'm doing!

  58. @ Julie - anytime you are welcome here. Yes, I shall go back and check how the story is going on your blog...

    @ Susan - I know I even laugh at myself too, usually some time after though, lol!!

    @ Ashley - nah, dont think anyone needed my swearng but he was rude and needed to be told so. A badge doesnt give you any right to treat people in a nasty way.

    @ Summer - ha ha - you are so funny and lvoe hte new profile pic - truly gorgeous.

    @ Blue Castle - yes I have thought of that too - imagine blogging from jail. Think I will let someone else do that though.

    @ Shelia - thans for dropping by you gorgeous woman - glad it made you smile.

    @ Christine - yes I got upset because he was yelling at my daughter for something which was so pathetic. I just could have handled it in a more civilised way. Lesson learnt.

  59. @ Gaspegirl - oh I know - it could take weeks but I really want to do this. I just need to make sure I dont do something so stupid again lol!!

    @ Kanani - a tiara - ok then sounds a plan!!

  60. Oh no, this cracked me up except it probably wasn't so funny being in the middle of it. Thats what sugar does to you,you are in withdrawal. Its poison.

  61. Hilarious! Maybe a little sugar wouldn't hurt--especially if it keeps you out of jail!

  62. @ Magee - glad it made you laugh, thats my ridiculous life at times!!

    @ Ali - no, no chocolate however tempting. I am really serious about this for at least two months. I just have to steer clear of everyone for a few weeks, LOL Thanks for your comment and I will come and visit you!

  63. Is it totally wrong of me that I was laughing my ass off and cheering you on while reading that?? I'm most likely a very bad influence........but I'm alot of fun!!

    Let me know when they kick you out of Australia....I've got a spare room!!!

  64. Good luck with those resolution while staying close to home. I would swear the staying home makes less snacking and sugar and caffeine harder. But your story was very entertaining none-the-less! I have no idea what I am going to do when my daughters hit teen years.

  65. hahahahahahah oh my god Lilly that is absolutely hysterical! I was reading the story to The girl and she just kept saying that is just like you mom, no wonder you two enjoy each other! I had to drop an 'f' bomb over the holidays also and of all places at the grocery store!

    I'm glad you remained on this side of the bars, but know that you can count on my to post bail! As the hubster would say ~ you need to watch it one day someone is going to deck you, but what I say is; You Go-Sister LoL

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  67. @ Queenie Jeanie - no laugh away its ok, I am not sure you can lead me any further astray anyway!

    @ Jenni - its hard to be around it but I am determined this year to be healthy and give up rubbish that does no good.

    @ Mind of a Mom - yep, I knw you would be the same - well not quite as bad but hey I know who to call on to post bail now!! Thanks for dropping by.

  68. Lilly! This is C-R-A-Z-Y (but, funny)! It reminds me of how whacked out I was when I was pregnant. Please have a tiny hershey's kiss or something. Get a hold of yourself.


  69. Davida - LOL - tiny Herschey kisses. YEs it was a bit crazy but true unfortunately...must come over and visit you too!

  70. I act like that when I only have PMT let alone doing without sugar, chocolate and coke too. I would have smacked him and ended up in prison. You did well to show that much restraint.

  71. Did he really just wave you away???

    That sweets comment must have hit home!!!

    You are hilarious!!!

  72. HA HAAAAA!!!!!!!!!

    Did you really???? TOOOO funny, although I suppose it was not to funny at the time.

    We can laugh about it now .... right??

    I have yelled out the window before - and completely understand.
    Great post Lilly, thanks for a laugh to brighten my day :-)

  73. LOLOLOL the jerk had it coming...and boy I wish you had gotten that on tape! And...where are the pictures??? A good blogger would have been snapping pics of the pissed off officer hehe

  74. Oh my god - I'm cracking up! Don't worry about your daughter - I've been mistaken for a hooker before too. I was just stopping in a convenience store to buy a bottle of water - sheesh! Some guys are just desperate and will say anything.

    Glad you didn't get arrested.

  75. @ Mary LOL, oh no I showed no retraint really.

    @ Saundra - yep he just waved me away. I am not sure he wanted the burden of a smart ass women abusing him anymore. He was as shocked as I was.

    @ Speedcat - oh yesiree. Told you I should have been ashamed to say anything. I just yelled it out without thinking and didnt really expect whoever it was to come after me...stupid I know. I do not ususally do anythng like that so....I can only blame my resolutions, he he. I'll be good now.

    @ nikkicrumpet - yes I always carry my camera in my bag but I am not sure Constable......would have appreciated that I take a photo bo him BUT a friend of mine suggested this morning that I should send this post to the local police station. I may because I am sure he has told them about the crazy women who swore at him.

    @ CarmenSinCity - oh you have every chance of being asked that I imagine where you live. I guess lots of tourists think everyone is a target. Thanks for dropping by.

  76. Oh, you made my day. So funny, glad you got away with it.

  77. @ Dee - Glad you had a laugh, just dont follow suit!

  78. Hi Lilly,
    As usual I'm the last to comment! I chuckled at your bad experience, I'm sorry. I can't help it when you write it this way.

    I don't think that you giving up all the sugar, alcohol, coffee, and white flour caused you to act the way you did. I say it was pure maternal instinc that did you. You acted protectively in defense to your daughter being berated by that rude police officer. I probably would have acted the same way, just without the profanity if there was any. Hee, hee. But, I believe I would have behaved just as agressively to that police man as you had in the same circumstance.

    Go easy on yourself with your New Year's resolutions. Those are tall orders to yourself.


  79. @ Tasha - yes I think it was just the final straw that day and he was so rude and I reacted badly. I posted it because on reflecton it was a bit funny because it was so idiotic! Thanks for dropping by my friend and I hope you are having a good new year.

  80. Oh ha ha, this was funny! You know what? I've never wresled a suitcase shut in my life. If my stuff didn't fit, I just went out and bought another case...

  81. @ River - LOL, that was funny!!! Thanks for dropping by my blog.

  82. I have medication, but it appears you've sworn off of it. :-(

  83. Morning, Sweetness! Oh, you should have bought the little children's dishes. You're never too old to play and honey, you ain't old! lol
    Be a sweetie,
    Shelia - now I'm old and I still play! :)

  84. You are a brave lady to go out in public in such a state. I tried giving up some of that stuff too and lasted all of 2 days! So, I'm impressed with you.

  85. very, very funny! I needed a laugh! Thank you so much!

  86. Oh my word - that is very funny! Good luck with the new lifestyle - and I agree you might stay home for a bit longer!

    thanks for visiting my blog today.

  87. You're a hoot! There are all kinds of sn*tbag policemen out there, even here in Canada, and usually they deserve to be spoken to like that. Good for you! You actually probably charmed him. I'll bet he wrote down your licence plate number and will be calling you for a date ... very, very soon. :-)

  88. I would have shit myself-I'm such a scardy cat :) Or maybe cried....

  89. Oh is it possible that I could have loved you more than I did? I do now!!! LOVED this...

  90. No wonder you have 89 comments. I was with you to the very end on that post. I've made it a rule to aways check for shiny things on a person's clothes before giving them the finger because the one you flip off might be able to toss you in jail.

  91. @ Vodka Mom - :O: no, how could I take your medication away form you when you need it so much your self!!

    @ Shelia - it was a beautiful set and all in a grogeous little can basket.... I will wait until I ahve grandchildren....

    @ Alyson - well it is Day 7 and its ok but lets see, most resolutions only last until the end of the month.

    @ Mare - glad you could smile about this - I find it better to share the embarassment lol!!

    @ Wendy - she I am being anti-socila for a while longer....

    @ Jo - now that is EXACTLY what I thought of. I was worried he would just take my licence plate nmber down and gt me some other way...

    @ Braja - aww thats sweet nice to see your return from Calcutta..

    @ Dana Wyzard - oh yes look before you leap - when will I ever learn!!

  92. @ Mike - err now can you see how I made a page in the Sunday Mail? Am going to link to your last post in one of my future posts about Aussie men and sport.

  93. No way! That was awesome! And I agree with Gran, you need a Diet Coke!

    I totally would have had your back!

    (As for those resolutions? Are you crazy?)

  94. Hi Lilly...hope you had a good day!! :)

  95. OHHH, I wish I could have been sitting there watching that. I have done something similar, but I knew who I was talking to. The officer needed to be taken down a notch or two.

    You may try limiting the number of things your trying to quit at one time, LOL. There are some things that can be just too much.

    I do have to tell you that when I was training rookies, the hardest thing to get across to them is that they are still human beings, and respect is given when deserved. And that you get more bee's with honey than with salt.

    Keep your eyes on the rear view just in case this guy decides he needs to follow you around to make sure your behaving yourself, LOL.

  96. I swear I laughed my head off at this. I can't help it, I think it is hilarious! I could just picture the entire scene between the two of you. What a lucky person you must be, Lilly. You would have been arrested for sure here.

  97. @ Grand Pooba - yep, just crazy.

    @ Alex - yes, everything was stable and I didnt have the need to swear at anyone LOL!

    @ Eric - well you would hae been one of those nice law enforcement officers but this one was plain mean.

    @ Judy - mmm it was funny thats why I thought I'd share. Makes everyone else feel a little less crazy LOL!

  98. Lilly, I added you to a tag on my blog, if you're interested.


  99. Jeez, Lilly, what a start to the New Year. I mean, a couple of years ago I slapped a cop, but man, it wasn't until mid-July.

  100. I just wanted Lilly's readers to know that she gets her good looks and humour from me (her Dad) and obviously her desire to swear at police from her mother's side of the family. I think I am safe to say this because her mother doesn't read her blog.

  101. Oh, Des, you are walking a very fine line there. You may want to amend that statement, "her mother doesn't read her blog" after this because something tells me she will read this post. Just call it the "I've stuck my foot in my mouth one too many times syndrome", so I know what I'm talking about. I just hope Lilly's mother has a birthday coming up so you can make it up to her. lol

    I do not doubt for one minute, however, that she gets her humor and at least half of her good looks from your side of the family. Of course, I haven't read any blog posts from her mother so, who know? Talent usually runs in the family, after all.

    Thanks for the laugh, Des, and please let us know if you get away with that remark!

  102. omgoodness, this made me lol. you are a totla crack up!!! ☻ LA

  103. @ Vegas Linda Lou - oh yes I am nothing but not organised. Why put off until July something you can do in January. Best to get these kind of things over with early!

    @ Dad - oh dear, what can I say. You know Mum doesn't read my blog because she would edit it and that's the only reason. And I also know she has never sworn in her life and that you would have just twisted that policeman right around your little finger. Good job she reads the comments though HA HA!!

    @ Matt - looks like Des is back to fine form again. Given Mum has been married to him for over 50 years now she reads him like a book and laughs! Except for his Johnny Cash music that is. Oh and the reason I don't like Mum editing my blog is she's actually a published author so she has the talent and the brains alright! Between my parents they are the perfect person. It's kind of sweet!!

  104. auggggggggh - it erased my comment, Lilly !

  105. You're right Lilly - that's not like you. It would have to be the chocolate.

  106. Llly, something waiting for you on my blog !

  107. LOL! Sorry. This is funny. Glad you didn't get locked up.

  108. Can you hear me laughing, That would so happen to me. I wish I was there in person omg!! I would be so red in the face if I did that. I just adore you and your stories:)

    btw the photo you were asking about was taken in Paris. aahhh, I miss it so.
    I hope to get back to some traveling this year.

    Also I am right with you on the 21 day break or make a habit and I am breaking one of mine right now (getting to sleep at a decent hour) lol, so best of luck!!

  109. @ McAllen - did you say cracked up or totally cracked? LOL

    @ Loving Annie - no worries I hope you laughed anyway!

    @ Mmmmm- mmmmm what can I say - its the truth and somehow the truth is always funnier than fiction...

    @ June - oh yes I have to blame the chocolate but take full responsiblity for letting my mouth run away...

    @ Ugich - oh you shouldnt have - yes you should it was a lovely surprise, thank you!!

    @ Ms Cupcake - yes it could have been a lot worse. Thanks for dropping by.

    @ Leigh - LOL. Paris - one of my favourite cities too. I wish I could buy all your artwork - I need more walls. I will be back for more soon.

  110. @ Le - imagine with Qld police it would have been a different story I bet...

  111. You so should send this to the police department,bet they'd have a right laugh like.

  112. Ativan! In fact I need to go take a nap cause I took two. I had a big stressful work luncheon and am known for sticking my foot in my mouth. so I popped two "Gayla will keep foot out of mouth" pills and not it is time to crash and burn!

  113. This is hilarious! and sounds far too much like something that would happen to me. It's treacherous to go out in public when giving up junk food and booze, let alone to the air port. I applaud your effort. As far as the meds go, I found about 9 bottles of 4 years expired Vicoden while cleaning out my grandmothers house last weekend, but that might illicit some unwanted side effects. Glad you didn't get arrested!

  114. Bwahahah you really had me laughing my ass of, Lilly.What a way to start the new year girl!

    Do you think maybe he jotted down your liscense plate...your name might have been flagged already !!! LOL

    By the way I googled, crazy australian woman and guess what - you are there...heheh. Check it here:

    You are no. 37.

    I wish we were neighbors.There would be no boring day with you girl.

  115. oh my god, you are a crack up! I love it! That is too funny.. I would love to have seen it! I love your blog.. :-)

  116. @ Wheres my angels, Jade, Kate and Katy - glad you had a laugh and thanks for the tip on the drugs!!!

  117. That must be the most hysterical blog I have had the pleasure of reading. I counted the stars that you used on the Police Officer, Oh My! You are one lucky 'free' lady.
    I can't believe you stopped all those foods/drinks all on the same day. Great blog, hope you are surviving your very restricted diet and that it affords you lots of healthy benefits.


  118. @ Eaton - well to be honest I am doing a second story on this in a few minutes. It was hilarious. BUT NOT really if you get me and the diet is going well and I have managed to calm down. Come back later on for the second part.

  119. I know I'm a little late in responding to this but, what can I say, I only saw this blog for the first time today and, after reading about your little 'run-in' with Mr. Cop, I just couldn't resist putting my two cents in. Whew, Lilly, to say you had me laughing my ass clear off doesn't even hit the tip of the iceberg, I was in complete and utter stitches reading this post of yours and my ribs now seriously hurt, lol. What a total hoot! Yeah, I know, probably not the best idea to curse at a cop but, even so, thank you for the laugh all the same; I needed a laugh and, boy, did I get one. Needless to say, you have really, really made my day...thank you!

  120. Hilarious! I am glad you did not get arrested, but darn,... I had a good laugh.

    You are good, very good.

  121. @ The clutteredbubble - oh thanks for leaving a comment I only noticed it just now. I shall come over and visit you.

    @ Whitsockgirl - thanks - it was very embarassing and whenever I go to the airport now and Try and avoid anyone wearing blue, he he.

  122. I like your blog, it's quite good one.

  123. Ultimately, yelling at officers should be avoided, and it's not something you would normally do, but maybe that guy will think twice about being such a jerk next time!
    Kudos to you! Great story !

  124. Ultimately, yelling at officers should be avoided, and it's not something you would normally do, but maybe that guy will think twice about being such a jerk next time!
    Kudos to you! Great story !


Thanks for your comments.