Thursday 25 September 2008

Sex on moving motorcycles is out

And apparently on horseback too.

Yes, I bet that got your attention.

It did mine.

I never discuss sex on my blog unless it comes to fish and their penchant for a quick sex change (simply because this blog is about my life gets enough dubious hits from people searching for strange things.

However, I just read the newspaper and the article made me smile so I had to share.

Simply because I didn't even know sex on moving motorcycles and galloping horses was in let alone out.

But there goes the story of my life. Always playing catchup.

The Joy of Sex which was first published in 1972 has finally been updated and has now been reissued.

Doing it on a motorbike and on horseback were legal 36 years ago but they're illegal today. Apparently.

I read this book some time in the 80s but obviously I didn't read the fine print when it came to the 'sports' section. Come to think of it, balance was never one of my strong points nor are extreme sports ...

Given this book is to sex books what Hoover is to vacuum cleaners it's probably a good thing its been updated for the 21st Century. It is sold as a family reference book after all.

So for those who have the energy to get re-educated, the updated edition covers everything from hormones and pheromones (oh, I should have so reviewed this after all), striptease, sex shops, and a harrowing section on penis injuries caused by vacuum cleaners (according to the book it's "surprisingly common and very hard to repair satisfactorily").

And for any bloggers who just cannot step away from their computers, not even for the necessities of life, there is a whole section devoted to cybersex, including internet dating and foreplay via SMS, email, webcams and teledildonics (you'll have to read the book).

I think I will pass on the new book given I'm obviously still catching up on the first edition. However, it's a great thing for a new generation of adult readers.

I am just thankful that great balance and a death wish are no longer pre-requisites. Unless, it seems, you have trouble sitting on a chair in front of a computer.

And they call that progress? Oh dear...


  1. What?! Sex on moving motorcycles is out?

    Well there goes my plans for the weekend...

    Lovely post, Lilly!


  2. Oh my, Lilly. No longer will parents have to worry about their kids out on motorbikes or off riding horses and wondering what they are getting up to. Now they have to worry about them sitting in their bedrooms in front of computer screens and doing God knows what. I think it's sad. Bring back the motorbike and horses I say. I think people still need a lot of education in this area and I think it's a great thing. Any books on the subject have to be a good thing. I'll have to check it out. Made me smile and I never saw that Fish post before either - cracked me up!

  3. I wonder how many people have been breaking the law and never knew? LOL. I am fascinated with the changes in society over time and this is really telling. There is now far more of a focus on individuals and less on relationships. The whole cyber sex thing leaves me cold. Do not get it and never have. Interesting post.

  4. That was a hilarious post! First thing I thought was, "Sex on a motorcycle" would be a funny situation, but on a MOVING motorcycle, that's just crazy. And the poor horse! Can you imagine? LMAO. Too funny.. Thanks for the smiles, much needed for today.

  5. Is it still O.K. on a stationary bike/horse ?

  6. In my experience, sex generally is out... :(

  7. Well, moving motorcycles and even moving horses are a bit too adventurous for me; but not to worry, I think I have come up with the perfect update on an old "sexcapade" with a popular modern twist.

    I'm sure we have all "heard about" (I don't expect anyone to make any candid admissions here) sex while driving a car/truck. Okay, get your mind back in the present and follow me here, it gets better - really better! My new truck has a very large center console, designed to hold a laptop computer, complete with power outlets for the computer, fax and any other one might find him/herself in need of on the daily commute. It also has a talking, guided navigation system to help one who might be otherwise engaged to get safely to his/her destination (I can see some of you already know where this is heading).

    So I'm thinking...lots of room (I got the CrewMax model with a cavernous interior), maybe a little Barry White or Luther Vandross on the surround sound to set the mood, laptop set up and running in case I need to reference "The Joy of Sex" online version for some quick pointers, and the navigation system set to direct me to the best Italian (substitute your favorite food type here) restaurant in town. Now, the rest of the segment requires a little imagination on the part of you, the reader, (including the perfect "partner in crime", based in your personal requirements) but I think everyone gets the gist of it. The perfect modern spin on an old past-time. You don't even have to leave your computer, sort of. Hey, maybe I could even blog about it while driving afterward. Okay, maybe not.

    Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks?

  8. Thanks for this informative post, Lily.
    It was an interesting read.


  9. Not enough I couldn't stop laughing from your post, I have to have an added laugh attack from Matt's comment. ROFL

    You would be shocked at some of the locations and methods I have "witnessed" in my prior life.

  10. "penis injuries caused by vacuum cleaners (according to the book it's "surprisingly common and very hard to repair satisfactorily"

    Now that's really twisted :)


  11. I for one am never going to look at a vacuum cleaner in the same way again and if any man I know takes too much interest in my Hoover then I will be wooried, very worried. This means you know that your post on the Erotic Art of Housekeeping may ahve to change. Perhaps we should not encourage men to do housework after all. LOL funny how any mention of sex still makes us giggle and smile. Loved this post.

  12. Lilly, oh, Lilly! This is your most hilarious post ever! I busted out laughing! My tears are even streaming down my face! So, so funny to read all the other comments as well. My, there is such a book out there and didn't even know it. Heck, we could have tried the motorcycle and the horse thing if we knew better, eh? LOL. Now we're too old for that kind of adventure. I cannot imagine how that can be done, though. And even if that can be done, that can't be very satisfying, eh? But thanks for this info. I like Matt's idea better. I'll take note of it and incorporate it to my future novels. Hope he doesn't mind.

    Thanks so much for the laughs. Your post made my day. Have a great day.


  13. @ Pearl - now you can just pretend I didn't tell you it was illegal - you go for it and we want to hear the lowdown on your blog - just like your exciting last weekend - he he!

    @ Sarah - mmmm I also just read that people who are into cybersex are some of the most depressed people in society. Computers are good but they are not replacement for real for vaccum cleaners they are no replacement for ....

    @ Stefan - yes it is true - society changes and I guess so does the position on sex so to speak...

    @ Aleta - yep, I have tried to imagine but am just not that creative to work out how without causing a real injury but obviously it must be possible..hilarious.

    @ Barbara - you, my dear, are hilarious - stationary horses and bikes must be ok because they made a point of saying 'moving' bikes and horses.

    @ Solomon - thanks for dropping by my blog and leaving a comment.

    @ Matt - Matthew, Matthew, Matthew - your comment cracked me up more than any other I have ever seen. You are so funny and have a great sense of humor and good imagination. Yes, we expect you to try this out and report back to us all. No-one else has your kind of truck you see. This is so funny. Loved it! And let me tell you you are going to teach every old dog who reads these comments, new tricks. Hilarious!

    @ Nina - thanks for your comment - yep, its interesting alright.

    @ Eric - I don't think you finished your comment - you ended with, "You would be shocked at some of the locations and methods I have "witnessed" in my prior life." You mean you are not going to tell us more? Glad you had a laugh!

    @ Gran - yep vaccuum cleaners - I think I have led a sheltered life somehow. Twisted alright and vacuum cleaners are expensive toys for some then.

    @ Tashabud - yes it made me laugh when I read it and I wasnt sure whether to post it but did. Yes oh yes put Matt's idea in your novel, how hysterical would it be. Glad to see you back in the blogging world and I have to go visit your novel to see what's going on too. Keep laughing and have a great weekend.

  14. ...and the didn't update that part about the Beach? and the fact that Sand ruins the whole thing?

    I thought for sure they would update that part after all sex on a motorcycle hurts much less if it's parked in the garage!

    Thanks for the smile today!

  15. I have a question for Matt. Did you envisage the truck was stationary or moving when you came up with your scenario? It's the weekend and I though I'd give it a go. Very funny post.

  16. Lilly

    That was my question also ~ was/is the motorcycle moving? I know being the mother of two teens I know a lot more then I should but, if you are moving then how the heck do you do it?
    Here in Canada is illegal to do it outdoors as it is considered a “lewd and lascivious act” unless the windows are tinted (I’m just guessing) or you put blinder on the horse hahahaha

    Matt ~ that was absolutely hysterical! I will never look at a full size truck the same again :o)

  17. LOL - Lilly thanks for the review ... I am NOT rushing out to buy it either. I remember sneaking a look at my parent copy.

    You never fail to bring a smile to my dial.

  18. Lilly - I am so glad you got a kick out of my little, fairy tale. I really don't even know where that came from, so I wouldn't hold my breath for a "review" if I were you.

    To answer Brent's question, the truck most definitely must be moving in order to enjoy the full benefits of the exercise. And for you more adventurous types you could always search for a rough road to drive down...sort of like putting quarters in one of those massaging beds in a seedy hotel. Wait, I just might want to give this whole "review and report back" thing a second thought, Lilly!

  19. What!? I have never thought of such creative love-making positions. :)

    I don't want to end up in a hospital and have sex out of my life forever. :P

  20. :-D :-D :-D..this reminds me of my acquaintance's experience but in his case it's on a moving car and he's driving. I still find it hard to believe
    And now you're writing that there's also sex on motorcyles and even on horse?? Hahaha..really cracked me up especially after reading Aleta's comment. Poor horse

  21. @ Anna - yes and yuck, you are right! Thanks for dropping by and commenting.

    @ Brent - hope Matt answered that one for you! More dangerous than you thought.

    @ Mind of a Mom - ha ha oh you are hilarious yourself, unless the horse has a blinder on it.

    @ Baby-Amore - nah, I think we can safely give it a miss!

    @ Matt - thanks for the clarification. He he, still laughing thanks for adding to the smiles over here!! And if you try it out and want to review it you are welcome here as a guest blogger because you wouldn't want to lower the tone of your blog..

    @ Eastcoastlife - see no-one is claiming they have ever tried it - and you are right about saving yourself from an injury!

    @ Ori - oh yes Alet's comment was hilarious. You have to laugh. Thanks for dropping by and commenting.

  22. "I rode a motorbike in '72." he said (sitting modestly at his computer)


  23. @ Soulmerlin - Henry what are you trying to say here? He he you make me smile..

  24. Hi,

    Thanks for visiting my blog.

    As I read your post I am trying to remember if I still have that book. I bought it many moons ago. I don't think it had much lesbian info in it, so didn't help me much.

    I could tell you a gross sex story that a nurse in ER told me, but I will spare you. ;o)

  25. I ran into your blog, I think its cool. cheers Lilly


  26. Oh, that is just too funny!!! Did you know that it is illegal in Texas to own more than 12 dildos? lol

    Boy, they'll make a law out of anything!


Thanks for your comments.