Flights of Fancy

I guess I should have known my holiday was going to end up as 'a bit of a circus' after taking a domestic flight to meet my daughter in another State prior to going to Thailand.

I really like flying, well provided the trip is eight hours or less. I used to fly back and forth between Australia and the UK for a while and let me tell you I regarded these 24 hour plane trips to be just as 'painful' as child birth. Once you're on the plane you can't decide to abort the flight mid way and just get off. You have to suffer through it as best you can until it's all over. Just like giving birth. Except you have to suffer in silence when flying. You can't scream obscenities or ask for more drugs or oxygen like you can in a labour ward ......I tried once and nearly got banned from British Airways....

I've celebrated birthdays and Thanksgiving while in mid air. I've been on a plane with a dead body (thank goodness I didn't realise) and someone who'd suffered a heart attack. I even fell in love with an American on a flight between LA and Sydney. Ahhh.. anything is possible when you spend 17 hours in cramped conditions without much oxygen getting to your brain.

I like travelling on Virgin Airlines for domestic trips. The staff at least have a laugh. For example, on my most recent flight the attendant said in her introduction, "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane". At the end of the flight we had a lot of turbulence and a very bad landing. The attendant announced, "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal." To which the Captain replied, "Enough of the sarcasm it was the asphalt's fault." The Attendant then said, "As you exit the plane, make sure you gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. We beg you, please do not forget your children."

Anyway, before the flight took off I was sitting in my seat and a guy comes up and says, "Hi, I'm Steve and I'm bonkers. Is it ok if I sit next to you?" "No worries, Steve", I said, "I'm sure I have met stranger people than you".

Well I was wrong.

Steve wasn't lying. He was bonkers.

He sat down and immediately started talking. With a thick Scottish accent. He didn't draw breath for the entire hour and a half flight. I did manage to ask him why he felt the need to tell me he was a screw loose. He said the last flight he took he sat next to this woman who was a real bitch. She complained to the air steward about him and he was moved. Can't imagine why.

Dreadlocked Steve, told me about his life, family, his bi polar disorder, his breakup with his girlfriend and how he had signed his house over to her to prove his love for her (and how she refused to give it back), how he lived in his car for seven months, his suicide attempt, the musician Harry Manx who saved his life with his lyrics, how he was inspired to take up guitar, how he himself became a musician (and played with the John Butler Trio for a guest appearance and had pictures to prove it) and how he was now working for Cirque du Soleil on its Australian tour. I even got to see a photo of his grandmother...oh....Kate, he comes from Glasgow - you don't have any relations working in a circus in Australia per chance?

Steve also introduced me to the other Cirque du Soleil performers who were on the plane. There was the Sylvester Stallone lookalike from Bulgaria, the French and Canadian couple who had a baby only one week earlier while on tour, the logistics people, the fire eater, stilt walker and on and on.

When I walked off the plane Steve was still chatting to me. My daughter was in the Arrivals lounge to meet me and I introduced her to Steve. She looked shell shocked. I think she thought he was the surprise I promised to tell her about. You know, the younger man with the dreadlocks, piercings, tattoos and guitar in hand that I was clearly hiding from her. She then started looking carefully at all my fellow travellers, "what kind of plane did you fly on Mum, it looks like some kind of bizarre circus...".

Oh yes, how right she was and that was just the start..meeting Steve got me thinking that if I was 20 years younger it would be very tempting to run away with the greatest Circus on Earth. Instead, being too old to tumble, I was glad to be flying to Thailand for a relaxing holiday.....to be continued..

Tell me, do you like/dislike flying or do you have a funny flight story to tell? The most interesting comment gets a beautiful deep pink Thai silk cushion cover (there will be giveaways through December so don't be put off from commenting). Des is the judge....so you best make it funny or at least mention whiskey..that will get his attention.

Notes

1. Founded in Montreal, Canada in the early 1980s, Cirque du Soleil has grown from humble beginnings to become on the world’s most famous entertainment companies, with over 3,500 employees and shows performed in over 40 countries.

2. Just in case you are feeling blue, perhaps like Steve, Harry Manx's music could save your life - here is his website. I kind of like him, thanks Steve.

We're Back!

My daughter and I are finally home after a frustrating wait to fly out of Thailand. Thanks everyone for your good wishes and thoughts. A belated welcome to BATW bloggers.

Like the many thousands of other tourists, we are just pleased to be home (sleeping will be good). There were big cheers on the plane as we touched down in Sydney.

We were really lucky to get on a Thai Airways flight from Phuket. The boarding selection process was rather strange to say the least. It felt like we were waiting in line (for four hours) to get entry to some exclusive club. Some people were given boarding passes and others were rejected. I am unsure what the selection criteria was. Everyone was desperate. I was ready to throw myself over the counter and fall at the feet of the airline staff and beg - thankfully it didn't come to that. It was obvious that money was changing hands and people were paying extra to bribe staff to get boarding passes. It's the way things work in Thailand so it's hardly any surprise that this may also be the way the Thai Government does business and the reason so many people want a new government. I really do not blame the demonstrators for the action they are taking and hope it gets resolved soon. Thais are truly beautiful people with permanent smiles on their faces. Life is not easy for them and it was an eye opener for me on many levels.

However, at the same time it was very frustrating for travellers mainly because of a lack of information. It seemed the airlines were only looking after their Business and First Class passengers. They were provided with hotels and meals yet all other travellers had to fend for themselves. Times like these brings out the best and worst in people so it was interesting to watch how people dealt with the situation. It's amazing just how many people fly in and out of Thailand on a daily basis. The country relies on tourism so this crisis will have a long term impact.

I did worry for a while that Thailand may be my new home. When wandering the streets I came across this sign - I thought it was an omen of things to come. How funny is this?

So what was a girl to do but sample the delights of Lilly's Bar - it was so hot, really hot and I had time to kill you know how it is.....besides, I hold the philosophy that you have to taste all the cocktails on the menu before you can decide which one you really want to order......we all deal with a crisis in different ways...

I will resume posting and visiting your blogs in the next few days. Let's pray that no more people get hurt from grenades and that all travellers are able to make their way home as quickly as possible. Other than this little hiccup, I had a truly wonderful holiday and will go back to Thailand one day. I really want to see Bangkok (and its shopping centres) in all its glory.

Life is back to normal again or as normal as Lilly's Life gets........

Trapped in Paradise

I know I promised to update you on my trip but I have been incommunicado until today.

I also know that I promised you that I would be having an adventurous time. And I have (and have all the photos to prove it). Except today it turned a little more adventurous than even I would have liked.

It seems we are now stranded in Thailand.

Protestors supporting the People's Alliance for Democracy have taken over the two major airports and all inbound and outbound flights have been cancelled. We understand that in the next 48 hours the military will be flying out travellers who urgently need to return home. For the rest of us it's all a bit up in the air. C'est la vie.

We are obviously not in any danger where we are in Phuket (as the trouble is in Bangkok where we need to be to leave the country) so we will just play the waiting game.

When we turned on the news to hear the latest about Thailand I was shocked to hear about the terrorist attacks in Mumbai, India. My heart goes out to everyone who has been affected.

I hope you all have been well and I can't wait to catch up on your blogs very soon. Well, as soon as I can get home.

Lilly xx

I'm Leaving On a Jet Plane

.
Guess what?

All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go. I'm standing here outside your door I hate to wake you up to say goodbye. But the dawn is breaking, it's early morn. The taxi's waiting, he's blowing his horn....

If the pictures or song didn't give you a clue, I'm leaving for one of those I'm so desperate for a holiday holidays. I never get excited about going on holidays until I'm on the plane and I realise it's just too damn late if I forgot to turn the iron off or forgot to pack my shoes (alright, I only forget the shoes when I'm going somewhere where the shopping is great). Besides, once on the plane I usually find other thoughts start taking over. Like the time I spent the entire journey between LA to New York wondering if the guy opposite me had a bomb on his knee.

Before I leave, I just have time to make a quick stopover at Jlo’s blog, Zany Life + Crazy Faith , to join her in celebrating the NOHO holiday blogging fiesta.

Each day of November has been set aside as a special holiday and bloggers from different parts of the world have been writing or posting artwork to celebrate each holiday. I am posting there today.

While I’m away, Lilly's Life will be featuring a segment called Holiday Exposure about some previous holiday adventures I've had. Aussies, as a rule, love to travel from a young age perhaps because we are stuck on this big island far away from anyone else and we are curious to find out what the rest of the world is up to (although we like the fact that the rest of you don't really know what we really get up to.......).

Anyway, I've had a few hilarious travel moments over the years (I knew that would shock and surprise you) and I'm going to share them while I'm away. I hope you will share some of yours too.

A few of the highlights (and you won't see a castle, cathedral or tacky souvenir in sight) will include:

George Clooney Where Are You Godammit - Italian Holiday
My God, there really is a Relic Older than You - Pompeii Holiday
How the Other Half Live - London Holiday
Did you Say you Came from Austria - USA Holiday
Stay away from Candles they can Burn Down Buildings - German Holiday
I thought the Lochness Monster was a Myth - Scottish holiday

I will catch up with you and your blogs when I get back from...........OK, OK Jlo, I can hear you 12,000 miles away ....I’m c-o-m-i-n-g.

You’re going to have to catch me at Jlos to find out where I’m off to (unless you want to guess) because I’m running late..... the cab is waiting.....and...

I’ll send you a post card.....well I would if I knew your address.....maybe I can post while I'm away I'm not sure yet. The good news is that I'm bringing back some ‘shopping’ from my holiday for a competition in December so you can get to enjoy my holiday too.

Hoo Roo

Lilly
x

A Sucker is born every minute

and you're looking right at one.


There's an old saying about fooling all the people part of the time and fooling part of the people all of the time, yet not being able to fool all of the people all of the time....or something like that.

Well I am one of those people who is easily fooled. A sucker, some may say.

I admit it. I am gulli-bla-holic. And, its a condition I'm working hard at overcoming. One day at a time.

I believe people, on the whole, are honest. I believe that there is more good in people than bad. And that only people in pain cause pain.

And yes, I may still believe in Santa Claus too.

I don't think I'm naive or necessarily a pushover. I just believe people are telling the truth until a big red flag hits me over the head. Unfortunately though, there have been a few occasions in my life where the red flags have had to hit me very hard to get my attention.

I'm just not your typical Australian who has a built in bull sh** detector. The lifeguard was looking the other way when I was wading in the wrong end of the gene pool.

I think I wear the gullibility badge permanently engraved on my forehead. In fact it shines like a magnetic beacon to alert those with con-like pursuits that I am a worthy target. I entice them like moths to a flame.

Now don't get me wrong. I haven't had a sheltered life. I've travelled widely. I've run companies. Met all sorts. In fact I used to manage a social security office back in the dark ages before I saw the light. I got used to seeing all sorts of con artists and liars (poverty has a strange way of doing that to some people). I've had guns pointed at me, people swearing at me, threats of physical violence and heard lots of lies. And that was just from the staff.

So, I'm not immune to the 'bad or evil' in the world. I just don't assume that every person I meet is from the same 'neck of the woods'.

Seeing this kind of flawed human behaviour up close and personal has never damaged my faith in people at large. It didn't even make a dent in my attitude. Only the odd scratch.

A recent email from my sister reminded me that this has more than likely been a life long affliction. This gullibility condition.

She sent me a series of photos from a recent fashion show.

The photos were great until I discovered THIS.

Hidden amongst the glamour shots.

Take a look at THIS.

It's the stuff of nightmares. My nightmares. And my sister knows it.

Let me explain.

When I was a child, every Australian town seemed to have a Scottish band (now I cannot explain this at all except there seemed to be an oversupply of Scottish band members who wanted to migrate to Australia, or it may be that it was a crime to be in a Scottish Band and they sent them here as convicts). Who knows, it was just the way it was. So, on days when there were special parades through the city, these bands would usually lead the charge.

It wasn't the fact they wore skirts which upset me, it was what the Drum Major wore on his head that had me shrieking and running for cover. I was terrified.

Let's take a closer look.

Tell me, what kind of animal is that? I am talking about the one on his head not on his lip.

He is wearing a bear on his head in the same kind of casual way that some people wear cats draped around their necks. They so do...... I was led to believe, by persons closely related to me, that this style of head dress was a 'living creature'.

You can imagine how I felt when years later, after having avoided such spectacles, I went to live in Scotland. The land of the Drum Major and the Lochness Monster. I feared turning every corner, just in case.... I stumbled upon....well, ....men wearing tartan skirts with bears on their heads. It should have been a warning to me because I did have a run in with a ferocious bear while there...but that's a whole other story for a whole other post.

My older sisters, also known as persons closely related to me, still think my childhood fears are ......humouress.

They are the same caring sisters who told me that Vegemite (a delicacy enjoyed by Aussies) was made of cow's blood. Yes, I believed them. If you can't believe your sisters when you're five, what hope do you have?

They also told me that there were mice in ice cubes. Yes, mice in ice cubes. I gave up ice cubes for a time too and just had my whisky straight until I was about 12 (don't email Des I am kidding...).

I recall spending hours looking at ice cubes, with a magnifying glass, trying to see if the mice would move. The hours I wasted watching those ice cubes melt......

As for Scottish bands, I hear that all my anti-fur campaigning has worked a charm and they are replacing their headgear...bearskin hats....with artificial fur thanks to the information bonny wee Scottish lassie, Kate, sent me. Please check out Kate's very funny blog, Shambles Manor. I can assure you there's not a bearskin in sight.

Meanwhile, I'm just looking forward to Christmas and seeing Santa Claus again...

So tell me, are you easily fooled (the foolie), not easily fooled (foolproof) or one of those people who like to play the fool (the fooler)?

PS. Any con artists out there who think I am open to manipulation.....please slowly back away from my blog....the beacon has run out of batteries..... and that includes any psychiatrists looking for new business .....although I am more than happy to give you my sisters' emails...you only have to ask.

Could you forgive and forget?

A friend of mine (who knows I am blogging about this) announced a couple of days ago that she had recently caught her husband having an affair with a work colleague.

He claimed it was just a 'one night stand'.

She asked me what I thought.

Well, to be honest, I was sitting there thinking how much easier it would have been if President Elect Obama had asked for my opinion on the world economic crisis.

I could have answered that question.

I hate these kinds of conversations.

I hate relationship questions. Full stop. Particularly when I am being asked about someone else's relationship.

But she's my friend. I wanted to say something meaningful. I felt her pain but...

I suggested she have a big piece of cheesecake and change the subject. "What about handbags and shoes instead?" I suggested. No, I guess not. I told her that I was very sorry and that she alone knows what’s right for her and maybe she and her husband are better talking to a counsellor. And then I ordered the cheesecake. It's always better to handle these moments with your mouth full, don't you think?

Of course, other people she confided in are all abuzz. Why would she put up with it? What a cheat he is. How could she take him back? How could he do that to her?

She told me she wasn't interested in counselling as she had already forgiven him - without much hesitation either. She was over it really.

She said that "everyone knows these things can happen in a relationship," and she felt it was behind them. She said that they loved each other as much now as they did when they had married and he promised “not to let it happen again”.

So, why did she ask me I wonder? I think that perhaps she wasn't really asking for my opinion or advice but she was trying to work out how common this is. The Extramarital Fling.

I don't really know as it's not the kind of thing people go around bragging about is it?

I admire her though. I am not sure if I could forgive so easily. She is being either incredibly mature and sensible or incredibly naive. I guess only time will tell.

To me, the deal breaker is always the level of deceit involved. He didn't tell her, she had to 'find out'. I guess you can only learn that the hard way. The betrayal is the worst. I would always rather know the truth no matter how painful it may be. Unmasking lies is an easier task when the liar is no more than a casual acquaintance. On the other hand close relationships provide a great camouflage for lies and intimacy provides a heavily-fortressed breeding ground. I have experienced this too, although not quite in this context.

If Alfred Kinsey's 1948 findings - that 50 per cent of all married males and 26 per cent of married women have some form of extra-marital sex - are anything to go by, I guess it's no wonder people choose to forgive and forget. Kinsey was a Professor of Zoology which made me wonder about his findings but apparently recent research indicates that his numbers were accurate. Women are now fast closing the gap and the numbers are growing.

Many claim that a one-night stand is only there to boost a person's ego, fulfill a void in a relationship, or that it's "just sex" and means nothing. Others believe that breaking the solemn vow of holy matrimony is unforgivable, no matter what the circumstances. Others say it’s all about breaching trust and once that is broken you can never easily recover.

I guess forgiving a one-night stand can either be seen as a courageous act in an attempt to allow a relationship to continue and a family to remain intact, or a short sighted decision that will only lead to continued heartbreak. For those who've attempted to forgive a cheater, you'll know what I'm talking about. For the rest, being judgemental is an easy response, until you're in the same position that is ...

What do you think? Could you forgive? Do you think Kinsey's statistics are accurate?


PS. For those people who think they have enough problems handling real world relationships, read this story about a couple in the UK who are divorcing because of a virtual affair - there is a point where staying on the computer for any length of time is entirely unhealthy....