Message from your Mother

Message from your Mother is a series of letters written by Lilly to her daughter. They are often written in the kind of irrational way that seems to come naturally to mothers when communicating with their children (no matter how old they happen to be). There is always a hidden message in these letters if you look hard enough.

Happy Birth...day!!!!
I think you’re finally old enough to hear the full details of your rather significant and intense transition from the inside to the outside don’t you? Because they say the type of birth you have leaves footprints on your personality.

And your birth experience may explain a few things.

You were born in the days when specialists advised expectant mothers to do what was most convenient for them (the specialists that is, not their patients).

Our obstetrician’s name was Dr Cutter (risky choice I know, but no-one had ever sued him). He decided that you should be induced because surprisingly you were late and well.....he had other plans.

A three week golfing holiday in Hong Kong as it happens!

I was young, naive and willing to take the easy option when offered. Apparently the labour was going to be more intense and painful this way but it would be over quickly. Worth the odds I thought so I signed on the dotted line.

At 7am on the 31 January the IV drip went in and we expected to have a gorgeous baby by mid-day. I should have known better about the early start.

You see in utero you used to stay up partying all night and then seemed to sleep soundly during the day so it's hardly surprising that things didn't go according to plan. You may not remember this because you clearly were sound asleep and nothing was going to disturb you least of all a powerful drug and your mother's screams. However, just to fill you in, there were way, way, way too many contractions that lasted way, way, way too long. I thought I was going to die.

“This is highly unusual”, said the calm Dr Cutter at about 6pm that evening, “things usually progress far more quickly than this”.

He eventually said if you weren’t born by midnight he would turn the drip off and do something to live up to his name. I think that may have been when I used the F word over and over in his direction and told him that if he didn’t give me drugs I would do something that could see me locked up for a long, long time. I wonder if it’s true what they say about fetal memory and learning in utero. It would explain a few things about your teenage years.... but I digress.

The real problem was that you just didn’t want to take the traditional route. I mean, why take the head first entry that 97% of other babies do when you could do it your own way, sitting down. Yes, you thought you would enter the world backside first (breech).

Did you know that a baby normally assumes a head down presentation because of the weight of it's head? So can we assume that you went the other way because of the weight of your a..? Well at least you can take some comfort you didn't have a fat head.....like most of the population.

Because yours was an unusual birth and we were in a teaching hospital, interns came from everywhere to watch your entry into the world. The biggest moment of our lives turned into a learning opportunity for young doctors. So you were born to a clapping crowd and lots of strange faces.  The only thing that reassured me at the time was that apparently minutes after birth, a baby can pick out its mother's face ... from a gallery of faces. This could have explained your screams of shock - ok I'll concede, I wasn't looking my best by that point.

The public spectacle of your birth makes me cringe now more than it did at the time. To be honest, I couldn’t have cared less if your birth had been televised on prime time TV - I just wanted you out of there and quickly.

And when you finally made your entrance, we never looked back. You did it your way and it's been a roller coaster ride ever since.

Your birth footprints left their mark on your personality wouldn't you say? You are unique – one in a million. Adventurous. Love people and performing in public. Don’t always take the easy way out. Still love your sleep and nothing can wake you least of all your mother's screams. You like to do things on your own terms and you have no fear. However, you unlike me, always read the fine print and always get second opinions. And let's face it you still scream when you see me with no makeup and my hair all over the place.

Given we know you don't have a big head, I can say that you've also grown to be the most loving and thoughtful young woman I know. I would have done it 100 times over if I had to, to have you in my life (ok that's a huge lie because there is a reason I only went through the birthing process once ......um.....and of course that was just because ....because when you get perfection there is no reason to go back for more......it's your birthday, the truth can wait).

Happy Birthday and see you in a couple of weeks.

Love

Your Mother xx


PS. Ah ha! It's clear from looking at your pictures over the last year that the real reason you came out backside first is that you didn't want to ruin your hairdo..........good call.

Oh the irony

I was driving along the road minding my own business this morning and suddenly noticed the roadway sign above. Mmm, that's unusual and to the point, I thought.

A short time later I came across another sign which said,

DRV N TXT U B NXT

WTF? (No that bit wasn't on the sign, that was my reaction).

I would have taken a photo for you but I slowed down to read what it said (I still text in full sentences and punctuation so it wasn't clear to me) and someone nearly ran up the back of me.

So much for Road Safety signs ...........and the English language.........

I no kdz cant rite prply and this will hlp thm undstnd cos its in thr own lngg but what abt the rst of us. MoR l8r wen i gt it.


Tell me do you have road safety signs like this where you are or are we the only stupid ones making a mockery of the English language?

Bastard Husband - A Love Story

Intriguing title, no?

Well that's because it's the title of an intriguing book written by Linda Lou, blogger, writer, stand up comedian and an inspiration to anyone who is looking to 'start over' and head in a new direction.


I first came across Linda Lou some years ago on Roseanne Barr's blog forum. Her posts were wise, down to earth and quite frankly hilarious. I then started reading her blog, Linda Lou Live from Las Vegas and listening to her talk radio show, Aging Nymphs. She is entertaining and oh so.....energetic.

Linda Lou has been working on this, her first book, for some time and her followers have been excitedly awaiting it's release. When Linda Lou sent me the book in late 2009 I started reading it straight away and didn't put it down until it was finished.

The book is a very funny yet poignant account of Linda Lou's first year alone, after a midlife divorce from someone who was her perfect soul mate, well....perfect that is, until he had one drink too many.

Did she rise to the challenges life threw at her? Oh yes, plus some.
At 46, she started doing stand up comedy for the first time ever. Now that is courageous!
In her book, Linda shares the roller coaster of emotions she went through after her relationship ended -no holds barred. She has taken a challenging time in her life and shown that we can indeed live and learn as long as we keep moving forward.

As Linda Lou says, "Missteps are inevitable for those who brave the mighty risks of the stage, no -one gets through unscathed." Just like life.

It's worth remembering this line every time we start to have a pity party about those non palatable things life sometimes throws our way. None of us is immune from sadness, upheaval or having our dreams come crashing down around us. It's something we all have in common and should share more readily.
And as Linda Lou's book shows, despite the turmoil, everything does eventually unfold in some kind of divine order. Some people come into our lives for a reason and they also leave our lives for a reason. And even though the reasons may not always be apparent, our lives are left richer for the experience.

Instead of making a comment on my blog please go and check out Linda Lou's website http://www.bastardhusband.blogspot.com/ to find out more about her, her writing, her radio show and her fabulous and brave book.

And at the risk of sounding like an infomercial, you will not be disappointed! That's a guarantee!
PS. Apologies Linda Lou, this has taken far too long to post! Congratulations on a wonderful book and here is to many more.

Getting those ducks to line up is hard to do sometimes

I remember it took me ages waiting to get a picture of these birds to form a perfect line. I could have stayed there all day and it was never going to happen.

This picture reminds me of my daughter's first school photo which I should drag out sometime because it always makes me cringe then laugh. There she was in the centre of the front row. Every other child was facing the camera smiling sweetly. She on the other hand was facing sideways laughing hysterically. "Why did you do that?", I asked her. "Because everyone else was doing the same thing and I wanted to be different", she replied. She was thrilled with the photo. The photographer must have groaned loudly. As did I.

Everyone's idea of how their ducks should line up is different. What's perfect to some is imperfect to others.

Me? I've had trouble getting the ducks lined up in the same direction let alone a straight line over the past couple of months so blogging has suddenly taken a nosedive into oblivion.

However, I decided I had better update my blog as Lisleman sent out a blogger alert wondering why I had suddenly stopped blogging. I truly stopped blogging for the same reason I started blogging. The past I am trying to leave behind keeps raising its ugly head. And I am trying to take some targeted shots to sink it once and for all - Hallelujah!!!!!

I also want to publicly apologise to Linda Lou in particular for my abrupt absence because I was planning to write a review of her great book. It's coming soon...

Here is to more blogging in 2010 - my wish for you is that your ducks line up just the way you would like them to in the coming year in whatever shape or form works best for you.

Take Care all and if you want a good reason why spandex is not a safe look in public, watch this....a brave Scottish lass! She will be competing in the winter Olympic Games apparently and no doubt will get plenty of exposure from this video!