What is Charity?

Window dressing it seems....

Store window, Fitzroy, Melbourne

Middleage makes you more reflective.

You start wondering about the "big" questions like, What is life? Why am I here? What have I contributed to society? What will I leave behind? How much Healthy Choice ice cream can I eat before it is not a healthy choice.

All the big questions.

Gotye

and other fascinating things I found while working surfing the internet last week (yes procrastination is my new job and I have decided just to give in to it and go with the flow).

1. Where is Wally?

Well he has just made it to No 1 on the American Billboard charts with his song, Someone I used to Know.

Gotye (real name Wally De Backer) is the first solo Australian to hit number 1 since Olivia Newton-John racked up 10 weeks at the top in 1981 with Physical. Rick Springfield was the last solo male Australian artist to reign with Jesse’s Girl 31 years ago (no-one will admit they remember that song). Savage Garden were the last Australian group to hit number one in 2000. Have a listen, he may look like his name but I will guarantee you will be humming this all day. Best of all he is an independent artist from Melbourne and has been struggling for 10 years. Must be making all those big labels a little sorry right about know.



2. What would you do for five bucks?

Nothing much I bet. So why don't you go visit Fivver.com. No, you really, really, really have to because you will not believe what people all over the world are willing to do for just $5. I spent $20 there today hiring people in four different countries to do something for me. I will show you what they have done when its finished. Even I don't believe it could be possible.

3. Do you love Art?

This blog, This isn't happiness is a beautiful art scrapbook. It is one of the top 100 websites in the world and the blog has over 250,000 followers. PG rating.

4. Want to bring anyone back to life?

Did your see the footage of 2pack (real name Tupak Shakur) performing with Dr Dre and Snoop Dog at Coachella 2012 Music Festival? No, I wouldn't have either except that someone told me Tupak actually died in 1996.  The special effects holygram was done by an LA digital studio. I am just hoping Joe Jackson doesn’t get any money making ideas to trot a Michael Jackson holygram out and take him on a world tour. It is freakingly real.

Warning. 2pac was a rapper so every first, second and third word begins with F….that music is 16 years old so don't go shaking your head about all this modern day music and all. It's not a high quality video because all the others around are copyright now. Just turn off the sound if you don't want to shock anyone (because you will) but it is incredible and kind of creepy to watch.... 




5. Think you are too old for high fashion?

Rita Ellis Hammer

Then go visit a blog called Advanced Style and be inspired. Blogger Ari Seth Cohen roams the streets of New York looking for the most stylish and creative older folks. Let these ladies and gents teach you a thing or two about living life to the fullest. Advanced Style offers proof that personal style (and bravery in some cases)advances with age.




Have a great weekend everyone. I am off to visit the home of a silent Hollywood movie star who married an Australian grazier three weeks after they met. She moved with him to his farm near where I live. They spent decades together before they both died in the 70s. They left their estate to the goverment and the farm continues to operate as a working farm and has generated many millions of dollars for the community since. Their homestead, left as they had it, is open to the public every so often. It's a love story that should be a Hollywood film. A most unlikely match. I will tell you about it next week.

Just Do It

I have perfected the art of PROCRASTINATION.

And I wish there was some way I could make a living out of it because I would be filthy rich.

Please don’t tell me it’s just another sign of the advancing years like greying hair, drooping jowls and memory loss. Because seriously, it would be impossible for me to get any better at it than I already am.

I’ve reached the pinnacle of this particular pastime. I can manage to do anything and everything except the particular task that has an urgent deadline.

And I choose to procrastinate even though I know that nothing is as fatiguing or as headache inducing as hanging onto an uncompleted task.

I don't know why. I’m too scared to put the 'why' question to Google. I know how brutal the answers would be. Lazy, perfectionist, fear of failure, good for nothing. I can guess.

However, like most of my faults, I like to view this particular affliction in the most positive light possible.

I tell myself that at least I’m not one of those lazy procrastinators. It's not like I am stretched out on the lounge in my PJs watching Mad Men episodes back to back and gorging on leftover chocolate eggs. And nor am I am lazing out on the deck in the gorgeous Autumn sunshine with a cocktail and the latest self help book in hand.

Although come to think of it I did try a bit of the latter last week.
I was looking for some inspiration to help me focus on the things that matter. Like my job.

I started to read Eckhart Tolle's, The Power of Now.  Sheesh...

Sorry Oprah, I know it rocked your world but it may as well have been a Superman comic for all the good it did me. I'm already as Zen as I am going to get. In fact, I live in the Here and Now so much that I couldn’t be bothered if the consequences of what I do HERE, NOW, TODAY mean that I will be sacked TOMORROW and end up with no FUTURE.

No, I’m not lazy, I am just...well....busy. I like pottering, doing and achieving stuff in the now. I have a sense of purpose. It's just that none of it is a burning priority, helps pay the bills or actually matters.

Take my Sunday morning as a prime example.

My plan today was to do that urgent work and not get distracted until it was done.

I woke early and made coffee.

And all was going well until my gaze lingered on the fruit bowl a little longer than was absolutely necessary.  Oh my, I thought, those bananas are going brown.

I detest over ripened fruit, food wastage and given all those starving people in third world countries...yada, yada. So before I knew it I was pulling ingredients out of the cupboard to make a banana cake (no, not to actually send the cake to Africa, although fair point to you for thinking this may have been a possible outcome).

Then I looked in the fridge for what seemed like ages. It was overrun with greens I’d bought to make the slightly questionable juice I've been inhaling over recent weeks. So naturally I thought that it would be more productive to make the day's juice now given I would be so busy later.

So, after whipping up my latest green concoction, I was then forced to clean the whole kitchen from top to bottom. I am sure I saw some green splatters on the floor, the blinds…..no, I so did.

I then sat down for a moment to drink the alkaline green goodness. Ah yes, I was really impressed with what the parsley brought to the mix even though I am still hoping, rather malignantly, that sugar will make a comeback in medical circles. This then led me to decide that I absolutely needed to buy and plant more herbs in the garden. Here and Now of course while the weather was perfect, as opposed to later when rain was expected.

So, rather than drive, like I have every other time, I decided to get some exercise and Vitamin D and walk to the Garden Centre.

When I returned some 90 minutes later I planted the herbs, watered them and then gazed at the green expanse of lawn before me. And I can tell you if that bloody next door neighbour had the common decency to have left me something to mow, it would have been the perfect time for me to cut the grass too.

I then wandered inside and made the mistake of opening my iPad.  For just a wee look. An hour passed. Just like that. I am not sure how that happened except I have six months worth of blogs to catch up on. You all have incredibly busy lives, did you know?

I reluctantly closed the iPad but then suddenly had a thought about another silly cartoon about Ageing. Before I could forget the idea, I had to jot it down (see the collection so far here - a body of work that any self respecting pre-schooler would be happy to own).

Finally, after all that activity, I was ready to start the dreaded real work.

I held my breath and checked my email. As expected – my Boss had emailed me to ask if I would have the work completed by tomorrow.

"Yes, of course", I replied, “..... just finalising it now.”

Can you detect fear and lies between the lines of an email I wonder?

Guilt, headaches and nerves are closing in. I’ve got to rush people of the Internet. I've real work to do. Well as soon as I finish this blog post, that is.

How hard is it to JUST DO IT?

Any tips and tricks to overcome this insidious disease let me know.

Of course I will read them.... LATER....it's just that I'm so incredibly busy right ABOUT NOW.

I may have also decided to have some cake now rather then later .....sigh, sometimes procrastination has a place in our lives.

Neighbours, everybody loves good neighbours

Right?

Well, welcome to my neighbourhood.

My neighbourhood

There are a lot of people who think that good fences make good neighbours. And given I've mainly lived in inner city neighbourhoods prior to moving to a regional city nine months ago, I’ve always been inclined to agree.

In fact, it was no surprise to see the results of a property survey today which showed that a quarter of our population doesn’t know the names of their neighbours and more than three quarters do not know what they do for a living. However, more surprising is that 3.5million people have never even seen the person who lives next door and more than 20 percent of respondents said they had an argument with a neighbour in the past five years.

Well clearly no-one bothered to survey my little neighbourhood because the only arguments likely to arise here are that the neighbours are well...too damn neighbourly.

Country living is slower, calmer and way more friendly and hospitable than I could have ever imagined. However, at the moment I am thinking that there is a happy medium to this being neighbourly business.

I have this unusual problem with a neighbour that is on the verge of plain weird (yes, you are right, I do have more than one problem but I like to spare the people of the internet as much as I can).

Anyway, I recently asked my next door neighbours, Keith and Betty, if they would mind collecting my mail as I had to make an urgent visit to see my ill sister.

When I returned, not only had they collected my mail but Keith had done all the gardening, including mowing the lawn. Really lovely, right? I gave them a gift for their trouble and thought that was the end of that.

No. Of course not.

This is my life we are talking about.

Keith for some bizarre reason must have really loved the gift I gave them as he has taken it upon himself to continue doing my gardening ever since.

However, the only problem is I haver never asked him to or agreed to this. He only ever does it when I am out. I do not see him or his wife to speak with as I am always going somewhere. He just seems to have ‘a thing’ for my yard.

After he did this a couple of times, I tried to catch him to speak with him. When I finally saw him in his backyard I thanked him but told him that he did not have to do my gardening as I loved gardening and needed the exercise. I felt I was quite friendly, yet assertive. He, on the other hand, seemed to be quite miffed and became very red in the face.

Anyway, I thought that was the end of it and my problem was fixed.

Of course not.

I came home today and the grass was mowed again, seven days after he did it the last time and five days after I told him I did not want him to do it any more. The lawn did not even need mowing.

I need ideas people. It’s awkward and it makes me feel uncomfortable. I have to put an end to it because even if he was doing it to be helpful (which I think he probably is) I do not want to feel obligated to him. And goodness knows what his wife may think.

What to do, all you neighbourly bloggers? What to do?

I don’t want to be part of the 20% who fall out with their neighbours but I don’t want my neighbour thinking my yard is his to do want he wants with either. 

My big question after the holidays

I was left with a BIG question after the Easter holidays.

No, it wasn’t, Do we need to have family gatherings over the holidays?

Or, What is the real meaning of Easter?

Or even, What is the origin of the Easter bunny?

Or funny enough, Why don’t Columbians have chocolate easter eggs? (what a real shame for some),

No, my question is way, way bigger than any of those.

It’s…..

Why do they bother putting use by dates on chocolate Easter Eggs?

Hope you had a great holiday. Personally I will need to be running all week to undo the damage.

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On another note, just a couple of blogging things, I've changed my comment system to Disquis. I like it better because I can personally reply to comments and it allows anyone to reply to other reader’s comments too. However, let me know if it is more annoying than the Blogger comment system. It is easy to use on your blog and automatic. They also transfer all your other comments within 24 hours too.

I'll give you old and then some

So yesterday I got a phone call from a Retirement Village inviting me to come along to one of their High Teas.

"For what? Free Food?" I asked.

"Well", she said, "we thought you might be interested in what we have to offer with a view to seeing if our lifestyle is right for you."

NO sniggering please, it was crushing enough as it was.

I hung up.

Right for me!!!!!!  An old people's home?

My mirror tells me I'm middleaged but aren’t these places for people who are long retired? For geriatrics who have given up on life?

I am not that old, not retired and not even a grandmother yet, give me a break!

No, I did not laugh simply because I must be getting sensitive to the fact that now when I am finally getting my head together my body is breaking down. How do they happen to know that?

Either my daughter did actually read my last post and is playing a practical joke or someone is doing some very long term marketing.

I would like to let it to be known that I will not be considering one of these places for at least another 40 years.

Besides, I come from a family of hard nosed, really old people. Most of you met my father on here. Well this week I also shared a story about his mother with a couple of very dear bloggers who are fighting cancer. My grandmother was diagnosed with terminal cancer at 40, and bluntly told to go home and die. Fifty years later she was still mowing her own lawns. I have her firmly in my sights.

How can I be over the hill when I haven’t even reached the top yet. I'm still climbing, albeit a little more breathlessly with each passing year, but still trekking and looking upwards.

It’s bad enough that I am getting all these letters from government agencies strongly encouraging me to make appointments for medical tests that a woman 'of my age' needs (its essential I know, but just another reminder of the creeping years).

It must be true what they say, from your late 40s up the only names going in your little black book seem to end in MD.

However, something I've also noticed in recent times is that my personal details are getting sold to others so they can annoy the hell out of me trying to sell their wares. The ageing population is one hell of a market just remember that.

Only last week I got a call from a health fund trying to sell me something which strangely co-incided with the fact that I had just made an appointment with a new doctor two days before. I am very careful about giving out my mobile number so I knew immediately how they got my number.

Surely this is illegal? I mean there was no small print anywhere on the new patient form. I did not have to tick a box that said, I give permission for you to sell and make money off my personal details.

Fortunately, something rage age has done for me is that it's given me the balls to fight back. I rang the practice manager and said that if they are going to make any money off me then I want 'my cut'. She coughed and spluttered but didn’t deny it either.

I told her I would no longer be going to their medical practice as the next thing I know I would be finding my sexy x-rays plastered all over the internet. And while I accept we have to focus on inner beauty the older we get, I am not sure I would be making the same kind of fortune Kim Kardashian did when her nude pictures were uploaded for all to see. The manager didn’t laugh. Clearly you don't acquire a sense of humor until you are 45 at least.

Now I don’t know when old age, let alone middle age starts and when it ends but I think it all happens largely in our heads (well if you choose to ignore a few annoying symptoms).

I am just going through another stage in life, but IT’S DEFINITELY NOT OLD AGE. YET. Ask me again in another 40 years.
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I did the following cartoons for a friend's birthday. (They are my originals - I did them with the Windows Paint program regardless of the fact that it looks like a 5 yr old did them)

If any of the following cartoons apply to you, well I have the phone number of a very nice retirement village, just saying....

You know you're getting old when ......

(click on image to enlarge it if you are way too old to read the small print)