I have perfected the art of PROCRASTINATION.
And I wish there was some way I could make a living out of it because I would be filthy rich.
Please don’t tell me it’s just another sign of the advancing years like greying hair, drooping jowls and memory loss. Because seriously, it would be impossible for me to get any better at it than I already am.
I’ve reached the pinnacle of this particular pastime. I can manage to do anything and everything except the particular task that has an urgent deadline.
I don't know why. I’m too scared to put the 'why' question to Google. I know how brutal the answers would be. Lazy, perfectionist, fear of failure, good for nothing. I can guess.
However, like most of my faults, I like to view this particular affliction in the most positive light possible.
I tell myself that at least I’m not one of those lazy procrastinators. It's not like I am stretched out on the lounge in my PJs watching Mad Men episodes back to back and gorging on leftover chocolate eggs. And nor am I am lazing out on the deck in the gorgeous Autumn sunshine with a cocktail and the latest self help book in hand.
Although come to think of it I did try a bit of the latter last week.
I was looking for some inspiration to help me focus on the things that matter. Like my job.
I started to read Eckhart Tolle's, The Power of Now. Sheesh...
Sorry Oprah, I know it rocked your world but it may as well have been a Superman comic for all the good it did me. I'm already as Zen as I am going to get. In fact, I live in the Here and Now so much that I couldn’t be bothered if the consequences of what I do HERE, NOW, TODAY mean that I will be sacked TOMORROW and end up with no FUTURE.
Take my Sunday morning as a prime example.
My plan today was to do that urgent work and not get distracted until it was done.
I woke early and made coffee.
And all was going well until my gaze lingered on the fruit bowl a little longer than was absolutely necessary. Oh my, I thought, those bananas are going brown.
I detest over ripened fruit, food wastage and given all those starving people in third world countries...yada, yada. So before I knew it I was pulling ingredients out of the cupboard to make a banana cake (no, not to actually send the cake to Africa, although fair point to you for thinking this may have been a possible outcome).
Then I looked in the fridge for what seemed like ages. It was overrun with greens I’d bought to make the slightly questionable juice I've been inhaling over recent weeks. So naturally I thought that it would be more productive to make the day's juice now given I would be so busy later.
So, after whipping up my latest green concoction, I was then forced to clean the whole kitchen from top to bottom. I am sure I saw some green splatters on the floor, the blinds…..no, I so did.
I then sat down for a moment to drink the alkaline green goodness. Ah yes, I was really impressed with what the parsley brought to the mix even though I am still hoping, rather malignantly, that sugar will make a comeback in medical circles. This then led me to decide that I absolutely needed to buy and plant more herbs in the garden. Here and Now of course while the weather was perfect, as opposed to later when rain was expected.
So, rather than drive, like I have every other time, I decided to get some exercise and Vitamin D and walk to the Garden Centre.
When I returned some 90 minutes later I planted the herbs, watered them and then gazed at the green expanse of lawn before me. And I can tell you if that bloody next door neighbour had the common decency to have left me something to mow, it would have been the perfect time for me to cut the grass too.
I then wandered inside and made the mistake of opening my iPad. For just a wee look. An hour passed. Just like that. I am not sure how that happened except I have six months worth of blogs to catch up on. You all have incredibly busy lives, did you know?
I reluctantly closed the iPad but then suddenly had a thought about another silly cartoon about Ageing. Before I could forget the idea, I had to jot it down (see the collection so far here - a body of work that any self respecting pre-schooler would be happy to own).
Finally, after all that activity, I was ready to start the dreaded real work.
I held my breath and checked my email. As expected – my Boss had emailed me to ask if I would have the work completed by tomorrow.
"Yes, of course", I replied, “..... just finalising it now.”
Can you detect fear and lies between the lines of an email I wonder?
Guilt, headaches and nerves are closing in. I’ve got to rush people of the Internet. I've real work to do. Well as soon as I finish this blog post, that is.
How hard is it to JUST DO IT?
Any tips and tricks to overcome this insidious disease let me know.
Of course I will read them.... LATER....it's just that I'm so incredibly busy right ABOUT NOW.
|I may have also decided to have some cake now rather then later .....sigh, sometimes procrastination has a place in our lives.|