tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1339261543193718354.post2436898329827286907..comments2024-01-22T21:12:20.299+11:00Comments on Lilly's Life: I've got a question for youLillyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14597193176450931002noreply@blogger.comBlogger54125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1339261543193718354.post-48863015710207483182009-02-02T14:01:00.000+11:002009-02-02T14:01:00.000+11:00Lilly, only just saw your response to my comment. ...Lilly, only just saw your response to my comment. I've studied educational psychology...basically working with kids and adolescents. But researching something like this in an organisation would be very interesting!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1339261543193718354.post-84177558952796487412009-01-08T17:32:00.000+11:002009-01-08T17:32:00.000+11:00Thanks Dana, Eric and Nette, well seems like we ar...Thanks Dana, Eric and Nette, well seems like we are all in agreement which is not a great thing for women I guess. Shame!Lillyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14597193176450931002noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1339261543193718354.post-8752863040699648272009-01-08T17:00:00.000+11:002009-01-08T17:00:00.000+11:00I must admit I can agree with the stats. I have wo...I must admit I can agree with the stats. I have worked for many types of bosses. Over half of them are women. They tend to be overly "motherly" and talk down to their workers. I know that most of them don't even mean to or know they are doing it. Try working with nothing but women. I have done that as well.... and that is an estrogen/hot-flash train wreck waiting to happen. We are emotional, temperamental. hormonal, and involved. Because we are all that plus relational we are great at what we do and INSANE (many of the women anyway) as bosses.Nette's Treasureshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16699763551786620520noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1339261543193718354.post-20395739605178766692009-01-07T10:32:00.000+11:002009-01-07T10:32:00.000+11:00That's an interesting study, of course you caught ...That's an interesting study, of course you caught my attention right away with your second paragraph. I won't say what picture was dancing around in my head, LOL. <BR/><BR/>I have had only one female boss, and she was in her 50's. I think she was more down to earth and pretty intuitive when it came to dealing with her employee's. I can say that I have seen many women in positions of authority who seem to think they need to prove something to all who cross their path. Perhaps it comes from the fact that many women are still not paid commiserate to their male counterparts, yet seem to get more done.<BR/><BR/>I do agree with many of your commentator's, there can be far too much drama with the women in the workplace.Eric S.https://www.blogger.com/profile/13214969358950690069noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1339261543193718354.post-79376245759248217942009-01-07T07:06:00.000+11:002009-01-07T07:06:00.000+11:00I worked on the fire department with 80 men. Wooh...I worked on the fire department with 80 men. Woohoo! I had the best of bosses, and one major mental case. And through it all, I was still happy that I wasn't working for a woman. Although my "mental" boss was erratic, that seems to be the ABnormal among men. With a female boss, it's the NORM.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1339261543193718354.post-51651720991608305072009-01-05T13:22:00.000+11:002009-01-05T13:22:00.000+11:00Thanks everyone for your comments. All of them wer...Thanks everyone for your comments. <BR/><BR/>All of them were detailed and you all offered some great insights from your own experiences.<BR/><BR/>It would have been more interesting to get some more males replying because I don't think they see the issue. In the same way we females do.<BR/><BR/>I like the thoughts that some of you have presented about women having to fight to get their positions in what is often male dominated workplaces so they act aggressively to stay there.<BR/><BR/>To me its all about self esteem because when I think we feel confident and in control and sure of ourselves we have no fear of anyone.<BR/><BR/>I also like the ocmments from mothers who say that its hard to achieve it all and spread yourself so thin. Something is going to give. And that is so true as well. Its hard to do it all. And do it all well.<BR/><BR/>I wonder how we, as females, can change this so we have the opportunities to do what we want to in life and not have to sacrifice careers or motherhood to do so.<BR/><BR/>I would like to explore this issue in other posts in 2009. Thanks again!Lillyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14597193176450931002noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1339261543193718354.post-5371450174523324532009-01-05T07:48:00.000+11:002009-01-05T07:48:00.000+11:00Found you through SITS! ;)Great thought-provoking ...Found you through SITS! ;)<BR/><BR/>Great thought-provoking post... In all my many years in the Corporate World, I have only been lucky to have one absolutely wonderful female boss. The other ones were on a major power-trip and felt threatened by every other female in our company. By the same token, I have also experienced a couple of really horrendous male bosses as well.<BR/><BR/>So I guess it all boils down to ego level, management skills (or lack thereof) and personality traits - if those that are horrible managers had to fight and kick their way up the ladder, they may feel they have to be a tyrant to remain on top of that same ladder.Stacy Uncorkedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10084619026794128825noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1339261543193718354.post-42761640801505895662009-01-05T05:30:00.000+11:002009-01-05T05:30:00.000+11:00I'm a Nursing Assistant so my bosses have almost a...I'm a Nursing Assistant so my bosses have almost always been women. So I don't know. However, it does seem to me that female bosses don't tend to support their staff workers like they should.Awake In Rochesterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17465625764113100378noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1339261543193718354.post-28702977336929217822009-01-05T05:04:00.000+11:002009-01-05T05:04:00.000+11:00My worst bosses were definitely women. I always go...My worst bosses were definitely women. I always got along with them because I was smarter than most of them. I had one tell me she would go along with anything I said because she did not otherwise know what to do. Another one, almost drove me crazy and she was eventually told to retire or get fired. I'll take a man boss anyday.Judyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12078537002880283509noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1339261543193718354.post-49692343449997443992009-01-05T04:01:00.000+11:002009-01-05T04:01:00.000+11:00My best boss ever was a female.My best boss ever was a female.Dr Zibbshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11570006777738622727noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1339261543193718354.post-58725048629834939202009-01-05T03:24:00.000+11:002009-01-05T03:24:00.000+11:00How we view bosses can raise our awareness about h...How we view bosses can raise our awareness about how we view ourselves. As I reflect back on my life experience, when I have felt intimidated by a boss, at times it was female, at times it was male. The individuals who seemed the nastiest or most difficult to work with from my view were often very insecure, overly-determined to prove their competence and superiority at their jobs and underneath it all, focused on comparing themselves with others. I learned more about negative energy could affect me and also how I could evolve to move beyond it. I grew to realize I felt more comfortable in other settings. This was not because I wanted to escape discomfort. Rather, it was because I was learning to become more discerning and to make more deliberate choices after raising awareness and learning valuable lessons. I was learning to trust myself.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1339261543193718354.post-88235325276066972302009-01-05T02:35:00.000+11:002009-01-05T02:35:00.000+11:00It's a well known fact that women who get to the t...It's a well known fact that women who get to the top no longer fight for women and become more and more like men in order to remain at the top (look at Margaret Thatcher, for example).<BR/><BR/>I think that women can be more sympathetic and easier to talk to, but - by god! - they can also be much bitchier! Men are more direct and do not take things personally as women can do, so I much prefer having a male boss for those reasons.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1339261543193718354.post-36784101324737808482009-01-05T00:41:00.000+11:002009-01-05T00:41:00.000+11:00Whenever there's a problem boss or a poisonous wor...Whenever there's a problem boss or a poisonous work atmosphere, I have found a lack of managerial structure and policy that does little to foster both confidence and team work with its employees.<BR/><BR/>A healthy workplace <I>does</I> have to start at the top, and leaders have to be willing to examine current policy, make changes and implement it. Often, there is a rough patch and some people will have to be let go. <BR/><BR/>But, if the structure changes and a better atmosphere is created, more often than not a happy workplace can also lead to a more profitable one as well.<BR/><BR/>I think one thing we can do as parents is to instill the importance of assertiveness over aggression to our kids, and especially the importance of female friends to our daughters.Kananihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08317494343177263398noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1339261543193718354.post-41687698247020407682009-01-04T23:52:00.000+11:002009-01-04T23:52:00.000+11:00I agree with that thought. I have a female boss, ...I agree with that thought. I have a female boss, and it's pretty much hell.Vodka Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04734323418017847775noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1339261543193718354.post-83901027872721214952009-01-04T14:46:00.000+11:002009-01-04T14:46:00.000+11:00Well my boss, who is a woman, sucks. I don't know ...Well my boss, who is a woman, sucks. I don't know whether that's to do with her being a woman or not though.<BR/>I normally prefer working with male bosses because they aren't so competitive!<BR/>JKTAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1339261543193718354.post-14075341658022361132009-01-04T13:58:00.000+11:002009-01-04T13:58:00.000+11:00I think what Summer says is so true. Spot on and I...I think what Summer says is so true. Spot on and I would like to get that article too. Women still have it much harder than their male counterparts. If you are a mother than you have a full time job at home and another at work. Men do not have the same responsibilities and I do not care what anyone says. There is no such thing as Superwoman and that makes me sad because when you have kids you do have to make a choice or otherwise you end up being nothing to anyone by trying to be everything to everyone. Rarely have I seen it work unless you are so rich you can afford nannies. Then you risk your kids being f'd up big time. If any woman out there believes they can do it all I would love to hear what you have to say and how you are managing it, truly!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1339261543193718354.post-15634005634643386472009-01-04T13:36:00.000+11:002009-01-04T13:36:00.000+11:00I've only had ONE great female boss. And the qual...I've only had ONE great female boss. And the qualities that come to mind that I admired about her were that she was fair, hardworking, and a fantastic communicator. She was very eager to mentor both males and females. I hate to say this but she was an exception to the rule. Unfortunately, those qualities are something I never found with other female bosses that I've worked for/with. The above mentioned boss was single with no kids. <BR/><BR/>I really agree with WheresMyAngels. Most women in the workplace are wearing several hats in and out of work. This is definitely why they aren't as relaxed as male bosses. I read an excellent article last week about the "Alpha Female." I believe it was featured in Women's Health. I'll get back to you on that, but it really drove home how most of these women are spreading themselves unbelievably thin trying to be Superwomen. And how this ultimately brings out many undesirable qualities at home and at work. Obsessive behavior, micro-managing, lack of patience, perfectionism, etc...Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12551501505348753532noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1339261543193718354.post-45984862002910777932009-01-04T12:38:00.000+11:002009-01-04T12:38:00.000+11:00hate to say it but i have never had a boss. always...hate to say it but i have never had a boss. always worked for myself.<BR/>BUT my husband has terrible luck with female bosses, not sure there is one i can name that we liked.<BR/>they make his job very hard and advancing nearly impossible.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1339261543193718354.post-53777660882984869092009-01-04T11:56:00.000+11:002009-01-04T11:56:00.000+11:00Well, I have never worked for a female boss, but I...Well, I have never worked for a female boss, but I have worked with females in high positions. I can't say they were any more difficult than males, but I didn't work FOR them.<BR/><BR/>I tend to agree with what most of the commenters have said, however, because it seems women do tend to make things harder on other women. It may just be society in general, where women are used to being "second status" for so long that it is still difficult for them to get the mindset that they are just as capable of being leaders as men.<BR/><BR/>It's like everything else, Lilly, it all comes down to each individual. Taht's why i detest these kinds of studies, because people put too much stock in them when all along everything comes down to each person's unique situation. You are what you make yourself out to be. I never seem to fall into any of the categories that these studies come up with. But, maybe it's just me! ha-haMatthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00994185648078518634noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1339261543193718354.post-69958889645748576832009-01-04T11:25:00.000+11:002009-01-04T11:25:00.000+11:00I think it depends on the industry. I've only wor...I think it depends on the industry. I've only worked for men, so I can't say for sure. But I think if you worked for a small shop or a non-corporate enviroment, it could be ok. But in a corporate enviroment, the majority of women are bitches. I had a girlfriend who was actually in my wedding and works at my husband's company try to sabatoge my husband by telling people he abused me and terrible things about me and him. But I've also seen independant artists who own small buisnesses who are very communitive and kind.<BR/><BR/>Tommorow, you can learn why Wade punched the wall!The Blonde Duckhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00085499120024055465noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1339261543193718354.post-73037040426267441682009-01-04T10:33:00.000+11:002009-01-04T10:33:00.000+11:00Hi Lilly,In my experience, both men and women boss...Hi Lilly,<BR/>In my experience, both men and women bosses have been fair to me. However, I am more connected with my women bosses. I think it's because I have no aspirations to advance to the supervisory level. I'm very happy and content in my "workabee" position. In essence, I'm not a threat to them. <BR/><BR/>My hubby is in the management, and his staff (men and women) love him and think very highly of him, which they have expressed to me each time we have get togethers here at our house. Of course, that makes hubby and me feel very good. He really has excellent managerial and people skills. However, I would not work for him. He's a perfectionist and, as a family member, he'd be less forgiving to me, I think. Hehe. Not that I don't strive for perfection with my work, I just don't think that, me, working for him would work out.<BR/><BR/>Tashatashabudhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17707659728810975773noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1339261543193718354.post-5318504004733366692009-01-04T10:25:00.000+11:002009-01-04T10:25:00.000+11:00Yes, very interesting! I've had some STINKERS of m...Yes, very interesting! I've had some STINKERS of male principals in the past, one over twenty years ago and one twelve years ago, well, the two of them were downright horrid.<BR/><BR/>What kind of man says out loud, that he will not be employing any more female teachers over forty, as they all go off and have hysterectomies and have to take time off. I hope God gets that man. And do you know, that was one of the nicer things he said.Lesliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06264705272780457524noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1339261543193718354.post-16704920407656668482009-01-04T10:05:00.000+11:002009-01-04T10:05:00.000+11:00My worst bosses have been women. One woman in par...My worst bosses have been women. One woman in particular was a real beotch to work with. Other women in my office felt the same way and we were told that it was because she was one of the first women in our department. She had to scrap and fight her way to the top and pay her dues. She didn't want us younger women having it easy. <BR/><BR/>I felt that she had a real opportunity for mentoring and fostering a female support system. All of the women in the department eventually left citing her as the main reason why. She is now the only female there. Just the way she likes it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1339261543193718354.post-43594862134545083212009-01-04T09:56:00.000+11:002009-01-04T09:56:00.000+11:00I never had problems working for both, male and fe...I never had problems working for both, male and female, but I always worked for company-owners, and I think that can be somewhat different. I am self-employed now, but before that, I was ‘the boss’ as a managing director of mostly females. Even though I employed males, they never lasted; they couldn’t deal with the pressure – my bunch of strong-minded women just wouldn’t accept any cocky and “I am worthy” behaviour if the result didn’t match. They all stayed with me for these 10 years I worked there – but again, I had to report to the company owner directly. The ‘high maintenance thing’ is something I experienced with women as well. They wanted to talk ‘things through’, and even though that can be somewhat tiring (I am terribly realistic-minded), it was necessary and the result was an excellent atmosphere.Fidahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17870521870676612316noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1339261543193718354.post-1590507924689075382009-01-04T09:22:00.000+11:002009-01-04T09:22:00.000+11:00I will NEVER work for a female boss again. With o...I will NEVER work for a female boss again. With one exception, they've all been nightmares. Women bosses (by nature) take their jobs too seriously and expect other women to play the work game like they do. That career ladder the female boss is climbing is only going to a place I don't want to be. They don't understand that I've never had a better day at work than at home. <BR/><BR/>Personally, I hate to work, period, and so do only because I'm between husbands. (I could single-handedly take the women's movement back a hundred years!) My grandmothers watched soap operas all day and went out to lunch their girlfriends, and as long as the house was clean and dinner was on the table, all was well. Sounds good to me!Vegas Linda Louhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17653067016683159930noreply@blogger.com