Comments on Lilly's Life: Love is.....

Dear Lily,

I've always been the hopeless ro...

2009-02-24T22:10:00.000+11:00

Dear Lily,

I've always been the hopeless romantic type who falls in love with the wrong people- you can never imagine! Some of them are not even in my world, or my own universe.

Now that I'm married and found the person who I want to spend the rest of my life with, I think that love is a continuous process. It never stops.

Falling in love was never as ideal as I thought it would be but it is real.

ps
i'm not sure why my blog isn't allowing your comments, i've checked the settings. hmmm, let me go check again.
it's good that i'm catching up with your blog too! i've missed a lot.

@ Mmmm - yes but sometimes its something within us...

2009-02-05T12:59:00.000+11:00

@ Mmmm - yes but sometimes its something within us that stops that from happening too. I honestly believe in the idea that we do have to love ourselves wholeheartedly to experience love with another person fully. She is young with lots to offer and she will get there. Its a journey for many.

simplicity writes: "I've loved a couple of people ...

2009-02-05T12:40:00.000+11:00

simplicity writes: "I've loved a couple of people wholeheartedly and I probably will again. But I don't think I've ever been truly loved in return. I've yet to meet somebody who makes me feel like my WHOLE life adds value to theirs."

--Wow. that is so sad. To feel fully loved is so amazing and to then love in return out of that. I can't say I am fully there now really but I know what that is like....I think!

@ JULS - I like your thoughts on this too and the ...

2009-02-05T12:37:00.000+11:00

@ JULS - I like your thoughts on this too and the mention of love being chemical. Like it!

Lilly! Enjoyed reading your blog today ... I do be...

2009-02-05T11:43:00.000+11:00

Lilly! Enjoyed reading your blog today ... I do believe that love is truly chemical. And for that one special person, it creates a synapse of electrical waves before we are even mentally aware of them. Love is similar to addiction in that way! I believe in soul mates & how that person affects you,not only physically, but mentally & spiritually. And with true love there is a built-in respect & adoration.

I think many men & women confuse commitment with love, when it's both that we need. And true love is eternal.

Oh yeah, I believe love is blind sometimes too. If we were all perfect, love wouldn't have to be blind! ;)

@ Mike - I guess not as long as people know where ...

2009-02-05T08:59:00.000+11:00

@ Mike - I guess not as long as people know where they stand. I think we can love people for different reasons. Are you planning a life of polygamy Mike lol!!!

Is it wrong to be in love with two people at the s...

2009-02-05T08:12:00.000+11:00

Is it wrong to be in love with two people at the same time?

@ Awake in Rochester - of course you can love some...

2009-02-04T17:49:00.000+11:00

@ Awake in Rochester - of course you can love someone of your own sex. You have and you will again. Dating agency? LOL I think there is way to much competition out there as it is.

Interesting post. I've always had a similar qu...

2009-02-04T17:07:00.000+11:00

Interesting post. I've always had a similar question on my mind - What does being in love mean to you? Is it the same question? But to answer yours...

What does love mean to you? "Is it a meeting of hearts and minds, a friendship set on fire?" Yes, it's along those lines. To me having a deep friendship, mutual respect, hopefully good communication, plus a good dose of chemistry is a good love mixture. Plus some similarities so you can understand each other & like similar things, but enough differences to find each other interesting.

Have you found the love of your life? Yes, but it only lasted about 4 years. It was many, many, moons ago.

Do you believe in soul mates? Yes, she was my soul mate, but I hope that I find another. *sniff, sniff*

Do you have a question about love you want answered by readers? Hm,...Do you think that you can love someone of the same sex. ;)

PS - Are you starting a dating service? Where can I sign up? te he.

@ Just a plane ride away - yes the journals are am...

2009-02-04T08:39:00.000+11:00

@ Just a plane ride away - yes the journals are amazing. I may post something here with my mums permission. Hope you are not freezing where you are in the UK.

@ Paris - that is a ssweet and lovely comment. True.

@ Mmmm - keep the photos or at least one up. Yes I always think about making my posts shorter but it kind of never happens. People's comments have been amazing. Lots of love stories. Helen's story still wins for me though.

@ Cleo - yours is a great story too, as is your blog!

@ Stephanie E - thanks for dropping by. I can tell by your photo!

Hola from Sits! I love my husband. He is my one t...

2009-02-04T08:01:00.000+11:00

Hola from Sits! I love my husband. He is my one true love. Anyways....I just thought I would stop by and say hello!!! :o) Have a good day!

Lilly
Love this post.

I meet my husband ...

2009-02-04T07:51:00.000+11:00

Lilly
Love this post.

I meet my husband Frank when I was 17. I've been with him half my life now.

In the beginning it was really exciting, now it's really comforting. Lust doesn't go away, it just changes. Both of you change also, and as a couple you have work on the relationship.

It's a matter of choice. It's not easy being with the same man all the time. My single friends feel I'm missing out. But not I, one night stands don't interest me. The most important and lasting things in life take time and nourishment. Marraige is no different.

Love is not lust, it doesn't have to be exciting all the time. It can be as soft as a gentle kiss.

Lilly, to your question above. no, I have not yet....

2009-02-04T03:11:00.000+11:00

Lilly, to your question above. no, I have not yet. I suppose the comments help me feel that maybe I can leave itup but I have an urge to tear it down. We'll see.

anyway, great comments here. Wow. That's a lot! I'm glad you don't write every day as it would be too hard to keep uo with not only your long posts but the great 'discussion' it often elicits here in your comments.

What a powerful post, Lilly. Obviously by the num...

2009-02-04T03:07:00.000+11:00

What a powerful post, Lilly. Obviously by the number of comments you received. Love to me, is someone that cherishes you, adores you, appreciates you for who you are and doesn't ask you to change. They love for your goods and your bads. They do not judge you, but respect you. And if you find this, no matter the distance, you will FEEL the love and know it is true.

This is a wonderful post, Lilly! I enjoyed reading...

2009-02-04T02:19:00.000+11:00

This is a wonderful post, Lilly! I enjoyed reading about your first loves. I bet your grandmother's journals are fantastic reading. What a treasure you have!

Love from England :-)

@ Trish - that was a lovely comment and I know thr...

2009-02-03T22:43:00.000+11:00

@ Trish - that was a lovely comment and I know through your blog the kind of love you share with your partner. Thanks so much for sharing.

@ Tasha - yes aren't the comments fantastic? Joanie needs to write her story and Helen's son's story is wonderful too. We need to hear more of the 'good stuff' so I cannot wait to see your post on this very thing. Must come and visit and see where the novel is up to!!

Hi Lilly,
It never fails that I'm the last one ...

2009-02-03T22:19:00.000+11:00

Hi Lilly,
It never fails that I'm the last one to comment again.

It is very interesting to read all of your readers' comments. I took exceptional notice of Joanie's comments. As if it's her life story I'm writing in my novel. Hmm...

Love, so universal, yet, so hard to truly define it. Love to me encompasses different elements: lust, respect and admiration, self sacrifice, willing to meet halfway, trust, friendship, and dedication.

I believe I've met my true love and soul mate, since hubby still has that ability to make me feel weak and mushy when he gets kind of romantic with me.

I've written a very long comment, but I think it's more appropriate for a post. Therefore, I'll be posting something in lined with this subject matter.

This is truly a wonderful post. It's the kind of topic everybody loves to talk about. It captivated me throughout, including the all comments.

Have a great week,
Tasha

Thta was beautiful Lilly
I, too, am very lucky ...

2009-02-03T22:08:00.000+11:00

Thta was beautiful Lilly
I, too, am very lucky to be married to a man I love very much...almost 19 years.
On the whole (I love this bit your wrote) ...
'the desired outcome is that you share a caring compatible relationship built on trust and respect, no matter how imperfect parts of it happen to be'... hope it is more than that LOL

this too

'When the mist of love eventually lifts and we see our loved one for who they are and we are tolerant enough to accept each other’s failings, we can reach a place of relative calm and security'...

I will have to tell him this.
I think he is my soul mate and I hope I am his ;)
He is the love of my life ...for better and worse.
I guess you have to know the 'worse' to know it can be better.

We only have a roaring fire every now and then LOL.Mostly the candle in our hearts burns slowly and we warm up in it's glowing.

@ Simplicity - I really enjoyed reading your comme...

2009-02-03T19:37:00.000+11:00

@ Simplicity - I really enjoyed reading your comment and can understand totally what you are saying. What we feel for our kids is about as unconditional as it gets. You are young and the journey has a long way to go!

@ Lunahemizphere - great story it really is - love the happy stuff.

@ Chistine - lucky you. You are right a soul mate doesnt have to be our life partner either. Interesting twist. Thanks so much for commenting!

To me, love means acceptance, patience, and streng...

2009-02-03T18:38:00.000+11:00

To me, love means acceptance, patience, and strength. I'm not sure I believe in "the love of your life" but maybe that's just because I didn't find this yet. I was shocked (destroyed) to discover a few years ago someone who I consider to be my soul mate. And he's not my husband. Now I feel lucky, blessed to have found him, and be married to my husband. My life is in a really great place because of these two wonderful people.

Love makes us rethink everything.

ahhh love. My husband and I are destined.We were c...

2009-02-03T18:22:00.000+11:00

ahhh love. My husband and I are destined.We were college classmates. There was something about him. Hahh. I don't know it feels light and comfy when he's around. then 5 years after our school graduation our path met.Yey! Soulmates find one another no matter how far they are from each other!

I've always struggled with love.

I look at ...

2009-02-03T18:18:00.000+11:00

I've always struggled with love.

I look at my daughter and I KNOW what unconditional love is all about. I know there will be days when I don't want to be physically close to her because I'm angry, but that dissipates quickly. And it doesn't take away from how much I love and adore her. The question is: Do I love her because I HAVE to? Do I make it work because if I don't, things will unravel quickly?

I don't think so...truly. I didn't feel the 'bond' that a lot of women feel when they have a child. Not right away. It took a while to develop and I can remember the moment I felt that the word Mommy 'fit' me.

As far as relationships are concerned, I've loved a couple of people wholeheartedly and I probably will again. But I don't think I've ever been truly loved in return. I've yet to meet somebody who makes me feel like my WHOLE life adds value to theirs.

I love my sisters very, very much even though we spent most of our youth apart. There is one in particular that I just NEED. Have you seen the movie In Her Shoes? Well, I can relate to her when she says, "Without her, I just don't make sense." I laugh harder with her than every other person except for my daughter and I never have to explain things in detail. She always just knows exactly what I mean even when I don't think I'm being clear.

I don't offer up the word love easily with reference to another person. I'll say I love chocolate, but I tell people I care about them if I don't feel that deep, heartfelt desire to say, "I love you!" I find it complicated when it's used too casually.

I know I'll find my match someday. It may not be how I imagine it now, but it'll make sense when it happens I'm sure...

@ Yellowdog granny - he he, I can always count on ...

2009-02-03T18:00:00.000+11:00

@ Yellowdog granny - he he, I can always count on you to say the sweetest things. Wish you were my next door neighbour!

In the immortal words of Tina Tuner....what's love...

2009-02-03T17:55:00.000+11:00

In the immortal words of Tina Tuner....what's love got to do with it..loves just a second hand emotion..
all it got me was 3 ungrateful kids and stretch marks.

@ Kate - yes her diary is amazing. A love story. H...

2009-02-03T16:24:00.000+11:00

@ Kate - yes her diary is amazing. A love story. Her husband was a prisoner of war for five years and lost half his body weight. He wrote her beautiful love letters. I am now single and no there are no problems asking. I haven't given up on the whole relationship thing but after breaking up with my ex I am enjoying being on my own fro a while. I havent chosen so wisely in the past and am a slow learner lol so I need to get it right sometime before I die! However, I have been surrounded by family who all have stayed married and for long periods of time - I didn't get the 'staying' gene, just the good role models. I will be interested in your posts.

@ Leigh - 'It sucks when you loose it, but the love you find of yourself is priceless because of it.' I like that Leigh. Things happen the way they are meant to and I think our journey on earth is a personal one. We all have lessons to learn and things to discover. It's kind of very cool to be honest. We take ourselves too seriously at times!