Thursday 2 October 2014

Are YOU a poor old dear...?

A handsome guy called Eric served me at the service station yesterday.

Instead of getting out of my car to pump my own petrol (or gas as some of you call it), Eric came and did it for me.

He cleaned my car's windscreen and checked the oil. He even asked if I wanted the tyres checked.

It's a shame I only get to visit this garage every now and then given it's so far out of my way. It's so quaint and unique and offers that old fashioned customer service that disappeared from service stations decades ago.

Every time I've been there Eric has been working. And while I knew that he was much older than your average attendant, he finally told me yesterday that he was 97 (and 3/4) years old.

Nearly 98.

I was floored. 

He proudly said that he had been opening and closing the garage (which he owns) for 60 plus years. His only concession to his age is that he now goes home for lunch and has a power nap before he comes back to work.

He does this six days a week and he has no plans to quit or retire unless health forces him to do so.

While waiting, I heard him talking to another customer, a woman who looked to be in her 60s. When he wandered back to speak with me he referred to this lady as a "poor old dear".

Poor old dear.

He reminded me so much of my Nanna (grandmother Elizabeth). She was in her 90s and used to play cards once a week at a community centre. She would refer to some of the other ladies as "poor old dears" too. For a while there I thought there must be a lot of centenarians at her card games but when I finally met them I realised they were all a good 20-30 years younger than she was. She absolutely did not see herself as old. At all.

That may have had something to do with her attitude to life or due to the fact that her eyesight was so poor that she literally just never got to 'see' herself as old. (As an aside, she was given a cancer death sentence when she was in her early 40s. She did not listen to that either.).

When I got back home and checked my emails there was one from a PR agency reminding me that October 1 was the UN International Day of Older Persons. Never heard of it.

Reading about it made me wonder what an 'older person' is exactly? How old are you when you become 'an older person'?

Should 'old' be determined by a certain age? Because I know some 40 year olds who would not be able to keep up with Eric.

Given nearly every country across the World is grappling with an ageing population and people are being forced to retire later, perhaps we need to redefine who an 'older person' is.

Perhaps we need to reframe what older people are capable of doing. And are doing. Perhaps we need to see more people like Eric out there owning businesses and pumping petrol.

Personally, I think about ageing a lot even though retirement is more than a decade away. And for some reason it worries me. 

When I spoke to Eric about this he said, "I never worry. Every day is just another day. Whatever happens, roll with the punches. Worrying never did anyone any good."

Before my Dad passed away he said exactly the same thing. He told me that the best advice he would give anyone is to stop wasting time worrying because most of it never happens anyway.

Is there a pill you can take to cure that affliction or are some people just born 'chilled'?

I need to worry less and laugh more. And keep working forever at something or other if that's what it does for you.

As it happens I didn't have to wait long to laugh more because when I drove off from the garage, I could hear Eric yell out, "See you again OLD GIRL", followed by loud, raucous laughter.

I laughed out loud. What a bloody cheeky young man that Eric is....


So how old is an 'older person' these days?  Do you think of yourself as old?

30 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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    1. Ooops Sarah, I accidentally deleted your comment (: I was deleting spam. Sorry I did read it too.

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  2. I don't think of myself as old, I have to keep reminding myself that at 55 I can claim senior benefits at my drugstore. My fear is Alzheimers as my mother has it at 76. But she doesn't even realize it, so maybe it won't matter. Interesting post about the old dear Lilly.

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    1. You get senior benefits - free drugs lol? I guess that is true, at least she is not aware. It is hard for those watching her I guess and I wish you well Christine.

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  3. Eric is inspiring! I don't feel "old" inside.....But, Health Issues have debilitated me so much physically, that my body feels "old" with older peoples problems. HEALTH is the most precious commodity we have, after the ability to laugh, at everything--including yourself.....Enjoy everything you can and allow yourself to feel bad, so you can "pick yourself and start all over again" and Enjoy! Not easy sometimes...but.....do the best you can. I am 83 on paper---and sometimes feel 183 physically.....but inside, I feel 25!!!!.....But I must say, I am really pissed off that my body has betrayed me....

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    1. Yes, and so it should piss you off Naomi. You are a livewire so it must be hard. And that is all of us can do, our best. And I like that yes, we should feel bad sometimes and it is ok to do so. and then we get up to fight another day. Look after yourself, you are one of the most fabulous 83 years olds I know.

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  4. Such a great post!! I often think I´m old, because I work with such young woman at my job. But I do not feel it. I love your dad´s advice and have taken it to heart. I hope I can live by it. Even though I don´t want to get as old as Eric, I hope to age "gracefully".

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    1. Yes, that is true. I was thinking that the other day. From when I turned 40 I felt old as I always worked with much younger people. The younger guys were the worst. I think they treated me like their mother. You are looking good Betty and have many fun years ahead of you and grandchildren etc. It gets sadder for us as we lose our parents and then we are the ones next. So do as my Dad said and just do not worry, just ride it out whatever comes your way because it will pass in one way or another. So glad you are back blogging too. Missed you.

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  5. My in-laws are in the early 80's and they look fantastic. My grandmother is in her late 80's and she's a pepper. If she has something to tell you, she won't hold back and she'll wag her finger at you while she does so!
    I'm not as old as my grandmother, but I think I might feel my age more if I didn't have a little boy. That sounds strange, but I think he keeps me young.... and also reminds me of how old I am when I don't have the energy that I used to. Lol.

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    1. Yes Aleta I have seen photos of your MIL in particular and she looks incredibly young. What is her secret I wonder. Yes the lovely Gregory will keep you young. In fact here many people are not having children until their late 30s/40s. which I guess when you think about it is pretty good given the average age to live is twice that. Anyway, it looks like you have good genes as your mother looks incredibly young as well!

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  6. I think we all feel way younger than we are in years. I think it is how others see us that is the issue and it does seem worse for women. I see it in the workplace that as soon as women hit 40 or so it is the young guys that suddenly start putting women down (as if they are their mothers). It is really odd. Moreso because the average age people are living is 80 odd. If that is the case we are a long time old.

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    1. He he that is just what happened to me. I had IT guys who were so condescending to me when I turned 40. It made me feel really old which is a joke now that I am even older than that. It is all an attitude and state of mind. We need to be more ballsy I think and just pretend it doesn't matter.

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  7. There must a big flow of ESP across the oceans. I just wrote about Aging as well.

    http://kaimhanta.blogspot.in/2014/09/ruminations-of-young-aging-mind.html

    But really ! Eric clearly beats us all ! Say hi to him from me when you see him next .....

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    1. Oh Ugich I went over to read your fantastic blog post. You are right it is something that we all have in common this ageing thing. We cannot stop it and nor should we want to really.

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    2. Oh and I will say hi to him when I see him. I always think how my Dad loved hearing from you when he was alive - thank you very much for that. You are a special lady.

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  8. I used to think you'd have to be in your 90s to be considered old. Now that you've told me about Eric, I'll say 100+. What a fun guy!

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    1. Actually you know what Kay I think you are right. We should say that you are old when you hit 100. I like it only cos its a long way off lol.

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  9. We should stop bothering ourselves with an age in the definition of old. The bigger problem in my opinion is at that old has become too negative. Remember when you were a kid and being older was a good thing? Yeah, that's a little different but it shows we can change our thinking of age. A great change would be to make old a positive thing in our culture. I believe some cultures respect older people better than mine does. I find being old has some benefits. I get away with more of my jokes and remarks as I age. What if we treated our older folks as living heros and honored them more. Maybe getting old would become a positive thing to welcome.

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    1. Absolutely agree with you Bill. We will have to change our thinking anyway as more people age. I believe that countries like Japan and perhaps some European countries treat their aged with a lot more respect than ours probably does. Great comment Bill.

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  10. What an adorable man Eric is. I love people of any age that have a positive attitude towards life and roll with the punches. He should be applauded and held up as a role model for all of us to emulate. I really enjoyed this post - thanks Lilly.

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    1. He is so adorable Kathy and made me think a great deal about a positive attitude. Definitely a great role model.

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  11. It is true that older women are not taken seriously, but often overlooked and ignored as being lesser beings in some way. I suppose that is one reason why older women (and men) find ageing hard, not to mention the onset of increasing physical frailty. Perhaps that is why they want to look younger, to avoid the kind of criticism this professor has received. Not everyone is so full of self-belief that they can withstand the constant pressure to maintain youthful looks that this society promotes. But her idea is a good one. It is about time that attitudes towards the ageing were rethought. We should celebrate every stage of our life, and for some, the last is the best.

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  12. I am in my 50's and would never regard myself as late middle aged or old. Still feel like a spring chicken!

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  13. Dear one,
    At 73 I do not feel old. A lot of it has to do with attitude, staying active, embracing life. I genuinely enjoy people, new adventures, theater, music, film, reading, writing ... all of it helps stave off inertia. You will never be old, Lilly! Not to worry ...

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    1. Aww thanks Helen. You are an inspiration to me too you know. You love life and live it!

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  14. Eric is a real gem! I wish we had a young guy like him at our gas station ;-)

    I was raised to "plan for the worst and hope for the best" which really adds up to worry all the time and once in a while you're pleasantly surprised. I WISH I could "let it all go" and chill, but, since I'm kinda an old dog already, perhaps that ship has sailed.

    I think the first time I felt "old" was when my doctor started adding the word "yet" after each question-- Is your hair falling out "yet"... Are your knees aching "yet"... Is your memory failing "yet". Sign. Yes, yes and yes.

    Ha! Oh well.

    xo jj

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    1. You make me laugh Joanna. Very funny. Oh well. Indeed. We can but try hey?

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  15. Great story, Lilly! I lost my Dad was ninety-seven and he remained independent and "with it", interested in everything that went on around him until the end. Hope I've inherited the gene.

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    1. I am quite sure you have inherited the gene. You will never be old. Ever.

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  16. Hehehe. That's too cute Lilly, "What a bloody cheeky young man that Eric is...."

    You know? I'm now 57! I don't feel old at all. As long as I don't look in the mirror, that is. :)

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Thanks for your comments.