Wednesday, 5 September 2012

The things I want to say...but don't..



The older I get people keep telling me I am channelling my grandmother.

Which is great in many, many ways.

Well, all except one perhaps.

To put it bluntly Nana had a really BIG mouth.

No really.  She did. There is no sugar coating it.

In fact, she could be really insulting. It got worse the older she became because she was so deaf she compensated by speaking very loudly.

And then there was really no denying what she was saying.

The worst example of this I can give you was when the whole family was gathered for my cousin's wedding. It was held in this beautiful park and all the guests were standing either side of a pathway watching the bride and her father walking by. As the Bride neared us my grandmother lent over to my sister and said in her foghorn voice, "Oh my, hasn't she put on some weight since we last we saw her, I never knew she was that fat."

Truly. Appalling.

I just mouthed the words "Alzheimers" to those people who did not know her and who were looking horrified. Thank goodness, the Bride was caught up in her special day and did not seem to hear the insult.

Nanna was a bit weight obsessed come to think of it. I recall one time I was at her house and lying on a rug in front of the open fire. She said, "Don't lie that close, because your fat will melt all over my floor."

That was Nanna. She was just plain rude at times. I don't think she was always that way but over time she just seemed to lose her sensitivity chip.

She said what she thought, when she thought it and didn't appear to much care about the consequences.

So while I am happy to take on some of her more positive virtues I really do not want to be known for her negative traits. So I am trying very hard to keep my mouth firmly shut when I would like to say something negative to people as well.

Instead, I will just blog to the People of the Internet about the things I've wanted to say this week but didn't .........as you do. It's a bit of a shame that Nanna never had a blog really.......


1. Tights are not leggings and leggings are not pants. You seem to have left the house in your what would appear to be see through black tights and top and forgotten to put on your pants or skirt. This is a fashion trend I really do not get.

2. Please stop talking about the latest diet you are on. Seriously it would be fine if it was just the one diet you started and stopped. But in the last 12 months you have waxed lyrical about 100 different diets - the Paleo, Atkins, Zone, Raw Food, South Beach and the Harcombe diets. And unfortunately not followed through on any of them.

3. Yes, the Botox in your forehead looks fantastic. However, it makes the bottom half of your face appear more droopy as though you have had a stroke. The best of both worlds does not always apply.

4. Disability parks are not meant for able bodied people. As I sat there in an ordinary carpark waiting for my sister who is in a wheelchair to finish her appointment, I  saw car after car of perfectly able bodied people using the disabled car parks because they were close to the shops. I seriously do not know how people have the nerve to do this as though it does not matter. It matters to the person with a disability not to mention it is illegal.

5. People with a physical disability still have a brain...that works. I was in a pharmacy the other day with my sister who is in a wheelchair. She was asking the pharmacist and an assistant for some advice about something. When they answered her questions they did not address her. They looked at me when they spoke. Even though I had not said a word. It happens all the time. It is almost as though people assume that someone in a wheelchair with a physical disability is deaf, dumb and stupid as well. And she is anything but. I expected more from a health professional.

And just to finish it off on a more positive note, hasn't the Paralympics been spectacular? These athletes are absolutely super human and show us all that we should be focusing on what we can do not what we cannot do.  Also, compared to the Olympics, it is such a pleasure to watch athletes who are excited and happy even when they don't get a medal. Thanks again Britain for two great games!!!

36 comments:

  1. Oh Lilly ... I have experienced this with my son for as long as I can recall. Yes, Carl has special needs, however he is quite independent, holds down a job and can fend for himself when I'm away from home. SO: To the folks out there who continue directing their comments, advice, instructions, etc. my way ...

    STOP ~~~ TALK TO CARL!!!!! There now, I feel all better.

    May I call you Nanna?

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    1. He he no you may not call me Nanna until I am one. You could be waiting a long time at this rate. I dont think I will be a Nanna though. Grandma maybe. I bet you have experienced this Helen over and over. It is something that is new to me and it has really opened my eyes. It is not nice for the person concerned to be overlooked like that. And way to go for allowing Carl to have a great life and be independent.

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  2. You don't have Walmart in Oz do you? I'm sure you have seen/heard about the people of walmart. Looks like they should enforce those disabled car parks. We have very high fines on them.

    Here's my favorite youtube clip of the walmart people (oh don't watch close to dinner or while eating)
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YvxNgdFeWqM

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    1. No Bill we dont have a Walmart here. We have fines too but they are not enforced often it seems. Great video, thanks for posting it.

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  3. Your grandmother sounds like a hoot. I'm sure I would love her. :)

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    1. Yes you would have done. She lived until she was 94 even though she had a terminal cancer diagnosis at 40. She was a stubborn person but a real character.

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  4. Sadly, the Paralympics is getting little attention here. Our local NPR (public radio) station broadcasts the BBC overnight, and last night when I couldn't sleep I was listening to a nice piece about it.

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    1. Oh that is a shame Kathy because in many ways I have enjoyed the Paralympics moreso than the Olympics. Such wonderful performances.

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  5. Can I add screaming at idiots to get off the phone when driving. That really annoys me no end.

    The one that takes the cake is a lady in a big 4WD attempting to reverse into a tight space at Westfield, one hand, a phone the other a cup of coffee... shesh!

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    1. Wll add big 4WD to the list as well. Hate them, cant see past them, hate parking beside them ra ra ra...that lady sounds like an accident waiting to happen...to someone else no doubt.

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  6. Glad you got everything off your chest Lilly! we have huge fines here for parking in a disabled spot.

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    1. Lol thanks Christine. Yes we have the fines just not the policing of the parks everywhere.

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  7. Your grandma makes me laugh, but only because she isn't talking about me! Well, she might be, but I'm not in the room, so I'm safe (lol).

    I like your pet peeves.

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    1. Yes you are safe - for the moment, lol

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  8. I don't understand why people do that --- pretend as if someone with a physical disability is also incapable of understanding. Stupid! Another thing I've noticed is that if they do talk to them, they will speak very slowly. And it's very patronising.

    The paralympians are awesome! :) Super proud!

    Had to lol at your grandma's comment at the wedding...that would have been an embarrassing moment for the family!

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    1. Yes you are so right many people speak very slowly as well. It is patronising but it seems some people do not know how to act. Nanna had many embarassing moments and when my family all get together stories about her always comes out.

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  9. Lilly,
    I dread talking to people who are regularly weaning in and out of their diets . I don't know what to answer when they ask :if they look thinner than before.
    Learning from your granny I think I should mince no words in telling them that : they look thinner than they would look tomorrow.

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    1. Tell the truth that is all you can do Kirti.

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  10. I think I have become your Grandmother! (lol)...Maybe it has something to do with age and pretty much not giving a damn what someone may think of you if you just "tell it like it is.."!
    I love all the things you wrote about and feel so very much the same about each one....!
    I feels like people don't really give a rats ass about anyone but themselves and so their behavior is a reflection of all this---and almost everything you wrote about has to do with someone NOT caring about other people--Well, maybe not the diets---but, just about everything else...!
    The world is in a sorry state, my dear Lilly....! And I agree with you about the Olympics and the Parlympics---They were both HREAT!!!

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    1. No Naomi you are certainly not my Grandmother. I guess you are right, telling it like it is, and not beating around the bush.

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  11. Oh my, my grandmother is exactly the same. I think it's what Old Lady of the Hills says, you get to a point when you could not be bothered mincing words. I cannot wait to get there myself and everybody better watch out ha ha. I am so with you on the tights and leggings thing - what the hell? And no matter how thin you are, skin tight leggings look bad on everybody.

    I am loving watching the Paralympics - it makes you realise what some people do to overcome adversity. It is inpiring and such great, happy viewing.

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    1. I agree re the Games - they have been wonderful. I hope you get to the closing ceremony.

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  12. Yo Nanna, what a scream. Except if she was directing it your way of course.

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    1. Yes Anton its always easier to laugh at someone else lol.

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  13. Lilly,

    My mother is your grandmother, which makes you... my daughter... I think. "Hi honey, how come you never call me?" Well, I guess you could be my niece, so I'll forgive you this time.

    Yes, I agree with you about the Botox.
    Yes, I agree with you about the pharmacist who talked to you instead of to your sister. What morons.
    Yes, I agree with you about everything.

    You left a comment on my blog. It looks like you have a blogroll.

    Normally I don't do blog exchanges with sites that I don't know very well, but some of your thoughts came straight from my head directly to your computer keyboard... it's like you're channeling me. You MUST be my long, lost daughter. If interested in cross pollinating with link exchange (or if you want to write a funny article for my site - with good backlinks - that will probably help your site a lot), let me know at http://boomerinas.com/

    Tina Boomerina (mom)

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    1. Thanks Tina, will add you and think about writing a piece for your blog. And I am too old for you to be my mother...lol.

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  14. My mother is definitely your grandmother lol. She is a bitch and I try and avoid her as much as possible. Too much negative energy.

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    1. Oh dear poor you. Well least you tried.

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  15. I've been so busy, but I saw that you'd written something. I wanted to come check it out, but I wanted to really be able to sit down and concentrate on your posts because I love them so much. Your posts are like dessert for me. No, honest! I mean it.

    My grandmothers were not nearly as much fun as yours. My mom is also on the quieter side... usually.

    I agree with all the things you've wished you could say. And can I add one. I'm seeing more young women with tatoos up their arms, necks, legs. Not cute little, dainty butterflies or whatever, but Yakuza type inking. Don't they realize it just won't go with a classy strapless gown?

    I also saw a guy with his face totally inked. He'll never get a job at Disneyland. Sheesh!

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    1. You are the sweetest Kay - what a lovely comment. Truly. Yes, tatoos are gone crazy the world over. I had my nephew tell me today he was going to get them all up both arms - may be great when you are 23 but problem is we quickly become 50 in a blink.

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  16. Hi Miss Lily. I enjoyed reading your post. Funny and entertaining as always. I had to laugh about your Nana. My father-in-law's sister was like your Nana. No sugar caoting her words either.

    May I ask a big favor and email me so that I'll have your email address again. I've gone through 2 laptops already and have lost all of my contacts' email addresses.

    I have some time to burn today, so I'll probably be here reading for a while.

    Have a great day!
    Tasha

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    1. Wow, just wow. One of my favourite people of all time. Thank you for stopping by my blog when I know you dont have much free time at all these days. Will email you xx

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  17. Dear Lilly,
    I think I'm getting banner/header envious. I look around at banners like yours and others and then click back to my old internet-ancient banner and think I could do better.

    I tried a quick fix but I don't know if it will last. I just don't know what type of picture would express the irrelevance of my blog.

    Oh blogger goddess maybe you could suggest something.

    thanks
    that-pain-in-ass Lisleman

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    1. Dear pain in the ass Lisleman, I love you stopping by and posing questions. I will be over to visit to give you an answer. And I like the use of Blogger Goddess, makes me sound more important than I usually am, lol.

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  18. My grandmother, who we called Mother, was as blunt as your grand. You never knew what she might say. My aunt is like her - blunt but in a more gossipy positive way. Mother would call me fat while shoveling food on my plate. And wonder how I got that way. When I was in a long period of singlehood between my first husband and second (a period of 20 years) she would say, "what's wrong with you, why can't you get a man?" I learned to laugh because she had zinger for everyone and everything. Now that she's gone, I miss her honestly, directness and ability to make us choke with laughter.

    My sister has lupus and had a condition that left her legs severely pocked and scarred as well as two hip replacements. Most of this isn't visible since she wears pants or very long skirts most of the time. It has been irritating to see people eyeball her when she parks in handicapped spots with her handicapped plates clearly visible. this has nothing to do with the point you were making but I wanted to share it. I, too, get annoyed when people use those designated spaces who don't need it. Great post as usuall.

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    1. Oh my gosh, families are all the same aren't they no matter where we live in this big old world. I think our grandmothers often had tough lives and were bought up with in tough conditions. I know mine was, she was the oldest of 13 children and they lived on the land.

      In terms of your sister, yes I understand. I have thought the same thing myself when I see people with the parking stickers who do not look physically disabled at all. You just cannot judge though - exceot if they park in disabled car parks without the stickers, lol.

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Thanks for your comments.