I never mention her on my blog because unlike my late father who loved the limelight, she is an incredibly private person.
However, having just stumbled upon one of her most closely guarded secrets, I feel the need to share it far and wide. Simply because I know you need all the help you can get too.
Mum will understand my need to go public. One day.
And if not, I guess she will cut me out of her will and life will go on.
You see, my mother looks years younger than she should. I can’t show you a picture of her on the "public internets" because she wouldn't be able to sleep for fear of kidnapping or public ridicule. You will just have to take my word for it.
I have always put her youthful, unlined complexion down to genetics and a very healthy lifestyle. And having watched her like a hawk over the years I know for a fact she doesn't use beauty products, she doesn't indulge in surgical enhancements and she refrains from drinking any crazy gypsy potions unless G&Ts are counted.
She is 'au naturale' as the French might say.
However, there is still a teeny, tiny part of me that wonders if she is holding back on the truth. Perhaps she does get a little help, just like her sister Cecile.
You see Aunty Cecile, who is in her late 70s, tells everyone that she is genetically blessed and has no grey hair. Just picture a female Paul McCartney and you will get the idea, wink wink. However, we know she is telling fibs because she has never been able to explain to her kids why there are empty L'Oreal Paris hair colour packets in her rubbish bin. Bit of a giveaway really.
As for my mother, I have tried to get to the bottom of her youthful dewiness many times but always come up empty handed (and no, these hands have never delved into her rubbish bins, I can promise you).
Well all that changed yesterday.
Secrets always have a habit of revealing themselves, don't they?
I walked into my mother's ensuite bathroom, minding my own business and there IT was.
Standing on the bathroom cabinet, large as life, was THIS product.
Brazen really. All things considered.
Selleys. NO. MORE. GAPS.
So .....this is what she has been using all these years to maintain her gap free existence? Mmmmm.
Of course when I asked her what she was using it for she coughed and spluttered and looked suitably embarrassed. And it was not lost on me that she quickly hid the product before anyone else got a chance to see it.
"Stop it", she said laughing. "This stuff is for my bathroom tiles not me. I'm not hiding anything. Laughter is the real secret to why people stay young, not creams. I keep telling you I don't use anything."
Yes, sure Mum. I understand.....I really, really do.....I still think she is hiding something....
So tell me who or what in your life makes you laugh out loud?
WARNING: And just in case someone thinks it is a good idea to use NO MORE GAPS on their wrinkles, my mother tells me she really was using this product on her tiles not her face. Yes, she is youthful, smart, funny and apparently does all her own home maintenance herself too. Now you can see where all my problems started, lol.