Friday 13 April 2012

Neighbours, everybody loves good neighbours

Right?

Well, welcome to my neighbourhood.

My neighbourhood
There are a lot of people who think that good fences make good neighbours. And given I've mainly lived in inner city neighbourhoods prior to moving to a regional city nine months ago, I’ve always been inclined to agree.

In fact, it was no surprise to see the results of a property survey today which showed that a quarter of our population doesn’t know the names of their neighbours and more than three quarters do not know what they do for a living. However, more surprising is that 3.5million people have never even seen the person who lives next door and more than 20 percent of respondents said they had an argument with a neighbour in the past five years.

Well clearly no-one bothered to survey my little neighbourhood because the only arguments likely to arise here are that the neighbours are well...too damn neighbourly.

Country living is slower, calmer and way more friendly and hospitable than I could have ever imagined. However, at the moment I am thinking that there is a happy medium to this being neighbourly business.

I have this unusual problem with a neighbour that is on the verge of plain weird (yes, you are right, I do have more than one problem but I like to spare the people of the internet as much as I can).

Anyway, I recently asked my next door neighbours, Keith and Betty, if they would mind collecting my mail as I had to make an urgent visit to see my ill sister.

When I returned, not only had they collected my mail but Keith had done all the gardening, including mowing the lawn. Really lovely, right? I gave them a gift for their trouble and thought that was the end of that.

No. Of course not.

This is my life we are talking about.

Keith for some bizarre reason must have really loved the gift I gave them as he has taken it upon himself to continue doing my gardening ever since.

However, the only problem is I haver never asked him to or agreed to this. He only ever does it when I am out. I do not see him or his wife to speak with as I am always going somewhere. He just seems to have ‘a thing’ for my yard.

After he did this a couple of times, I tried to catch him to speak with him. When I finally saw him in his backyard I thanked him but told him that he did not have to do my gardening as I loved gardening and needed the exercise. I felt I was quite friendly, yet assertive. He, on the other hand, seemed to be quite miffed and became very red in the face.

Anyway, I thought that was the end of it and my problem was fixed.

Of course not.

I came home today and the grass was mowed again, seven days after he did it the last time and five days after I told him I did not want him to do it any more. The lawn did not even need mowing.

I need ideas people. It’s awkward and it makes me feel uncomfortable. I have to put an end to it because even if he was doing it to be helpful (which I think he probably is) I do not want to feel obligated to him. And goodness knows what his wife may think.

What to do, all you neighbourly bloggers? What to do?

I don’t want to be part of the 20% who fall out with their neighbours but I don’t want my neighbour thinking my yard is his to do want he wants with either. 



35 comments:

  1. We have a neighbor across from us who let the grass grow so high that we could miss our dog if she went over there.  He finally did cut it, but I was itching at the fingers to cut the grass.  I restrained myself, because it just felt like a weird thing to do...  It's nice of your neighbors, but a little stalker like, especially after you asked him not to.  Then again, did you say "garden" or did you say "yard"... because some people might think, "Ok, I didn't do the garden, but mowing the grass is not gardening."  Still, weird though.  
    *insert evil laugh*  Maybe you could plant some flowers in their yard and see how they like it???

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  2. The only thing I can think of off the top of my head is to chat with the wife when he's not around. Maybe she can get it through his head. And there's always pit bulls--maybe start a breeding business so you have lots of dogs patrolling the yard ; )

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  3. I think Kim's idea is great. Go directly to the wife. That usually helps.... :)

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  4. Kim, yes that is the awkward thing. I never see her much but you are right, that is what I will have to do. It's bizarre, just plain strange. It's not like my previous neighbors where you chat and then get on. There is no real chatting just gardening, lol. Thanks though for that suggestion.

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  5. Aleta, yes it's a weird thing to do. It's not the kind of normal problem you have with a neighbor.
    I Guess he knows I live here alone and thinks he is doing a good thing. But i love gardening. He he, I like your evil thought.....lol

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  6. Thanks Betty. Just love your profile pic by the way!

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  7. Oh I bet the whole neighbourhood took notice when you moved in. You forget how gorgeous you are. He is star struck. I keep telling you to get a dog. A big one with sharp teeth. He probably thinks gardening and yard work are men's jobs. It is the country you know and is he older? However you have to nip it in the bud. Write them a letter and tell them you are grateful but the man in your life is going to do it from now on. Perhaps that way you give him several messages. Nice old homes though. Lovely place.

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  8. This certainly would make you start wondering if there are other motives beside seeing your garden mowed.  I'm thinking he is slightly a control freak and doesn't like seeing your garden have higher grass than his.

    Since catching them at home is difficult you could try a nicely written card/letter.  You certainly have writing skills to get your point across.

    We have a nice neighborhood and we have neighborhood "block" parties.  I've been to neighbor's family funerals, watched neighbor's kids.  It's nice but not everyone gets involved.

    In the mean time, I'm going to enjoy pondering about your grass mowing crazed neighbor who probably dreams of pulling your weeds.

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  9. Lilly LillysLife13 April 2012 at 10:02

    Oh you make me laugh Lisleman. Yes I am thinking writing something too as its not like they are super friendly or anything. Plus it avoids dramas or being embarassed etc. I think you have hit it on the head come to think of it. He is a control freak...keep pondering!

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  10. Lilly LillysLife13 April 2012 at 10:04

    Lol Sarah. Been a while since you laid eyes on me. Ys I think the letter idea is one I feel more comfortable with. I cant imagine rocking up to their door. I even wonder if the wife knows he is doing the yard as I never see her either. Oh the sagas of living on your own.

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  11. No, no don't go to the wife as you could start World War 3. I think you should hire the most hunkiest gardner you can find and get him to do the garden whether it needs it or not. Get another bloke to stake his claim as it were. Betya Keith would back off then. Yes, there is something very odd about it and for some reason he thinks he has some control over the garden. Do you know who was living there before. Perhaps he used to do the yard for the previous owners.

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  12. lol, too funny. A family lived here before with teenage kids so...

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  13. That's a tough one.

    I'd write a not to he and his wife, thanking him for being so thoughtful when you were out of town -- and say you are going to handle it all on your own from here on out, no need for him to mow the lawn again or anything else, but once again thanks for the kind intentions. 9write the date on it and keep a copy of the note)

    If he ignores you, then send him another note registered mail signature required informing him more firmly that you don't want any more help on your property, as you are starrting to feel very uncomfortable with him taking over your job. (keep a copy of this note with the date on it too)

    If he does it AGAIN, call the police and tell them he is tressppassing, and show them copies of the two dated notes.

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  14. Stop being ungrateful and just accept the free lawn mowing service :)

    I guess you could beat Keith to it and mow the lawn in 6 days time and not leave him any grass, or like a weird neighbour of mine who dismantled some Christmas decorative bells and stuck them into his lawn.

    PS could I be added to your blog roll? ... please? http://forloren.blogspot.com.au/

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  15. He must have a lot of time on his hands...oh dear.

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  16. I think that could be true Christine, but there are other people in the neighbourhood he could bug, lol

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  17. Hey Young Werther, yes if I was you I would probably do that, lol. I thought of cutting the grass right back so there would be no point him doing it but I can only do that on weekends so he has the week just to come in and do this. Its costing him in petrol as well - makes me feel bad when it shouldn't. Oh that is a wierd neighbour - does he have soemthing against Christmas?

    Of course I will add you, I have had to chase up the blog links as this comments system doesnt show everyones blog link.... you are officially added.

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  18. Great, great advice. I hope it works after the first letter. I am sure its all harmless and well intentioned but I just do not like feeling like I am obliged to return the favour etc. It's just odd and not something anyone would normall do unless realted, best friends etc. Thanks for the tips - boundaries are pretty important for me for obvious reasons.

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  19. It really is trespassing, he has actually got some hide. I like everyone's idea of the letter and sending it to both he and his wife. Myabe she doesn't know he has the perculiar habit of cutting stranger's grass..

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  20. The picture of the gnomes is nothing short of hilarious.

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  21. First of all, thanks for responding to my weird questions.  You, my dear, never have to worry about getting older, having insecurities of any kind!!!  

    Your problem is a doozie.  I had a neighbor in Florida who did take care of my yard (it adjoined theirs) however I welcomed the help.  Hip replacement, mother with Alzheimer's, full time job, etc .... I would buy gift certificates from time to time for he and his wife.  I called him my 'Lawn Elf.'  He actually looked a bit like an elf ~ bald, kind of big ears, little and wiry.  Kind of adorable, unlike your helpful neighbor.  I like the idea of something written, maybe a funny card?    Hopefully this can be resolved without having to contact authorities.  Hang in there.

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  22. Hi Helen, yes I like the idea of something humorous on a card, serious but not so serious. A happy medium of getting my point across but keeping it light. Well I am putting something in the letterbox Monday.

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  23. Thanks, no I am not sure she does but she will soon.

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  24. Off to buy an army of gnomes to circle the yard, he he

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  25. Yes good call by Anton except gnomes would scare me more than the neighbour.

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  26. It would be funny only it is really happening. He must have control issues. You have to stop him, nicely if you can. I like Cindarella's post. Good luck with it.

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  27. I've been gnome to leave more than one comment on your blog.  Nice gnomes.
    You should go to the DISQUS dashboard, under your username dropdown menu select "edit profile"  you should see an info page - add the blog url address in the website section - click save

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  28. Ha, thanks heaps for that. I used to be up on technology once, no more it seems.

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  29. Thanks Banoffi Pie, have a great weekend.

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  30. Oh dear sometimes neighbours can be difficult.

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  31. I can see how this situation would worry an independent woman like you, Lilly. Perhaps you need a lock for the gate.

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  32. Have you thought of hiring a house-sitter when you are out? That way the house would never be empty to tempt the phantom lawn-mower.

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  33. It's a fine line isn't really?

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  34. Thanks Magee for dropping by and leaving a comment. I haven't seen you blogging for a while, how are you going? Yes, good idea that would stop him coming in the backyard at least. Front yard is a little more awkward.

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  35.  Hi Sheila, thanks for dropping by. That's another good idea. Maybe the house sitter can be an Alsation!!, lol

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Thanks for your comments.