Sunday 29 May 2011

Male Wanted

for what exact purpose, I am not entirely sure.


I saw this sign as I was walking past a store yesterday.

Someone is either giving online dating sites a miss and cutting out the middle guy

or

their English needs work and they are really looking for something quite different.

Maybe the first line should have read, Delivery Driver Wanted or maybe they really do prefer the direct approach.

Either way, I am sure the phone enquiries were very interesting.

And of course if you think you can deliver, well you know where to ring.....

Tuesday 24 May 2011

What annoys you about flying?




"Hell is other people." Jean-Paul Sartre


And apparently, for some of us, so it would seem.

I was at an Airport waiting to check-in a couple of weeks ago and overheard a woman say to her partner, “Oh please let's hope we are not sitting next to a lard ass or an annoying kid after that last trip".

Clearly she dislikes sharing the journey with both The Little and THE LARGE.

I smiled and secretly prayed that she would find herself on the same flight as the excited boy scout troop I had seen earlier or somewhat fortuitously, members of the Japanese Sumo Wrestling Team.
Leaving sumo sized passengers aside, how can anyone say anything mean about sharing the air space with children?

Well out loud, anyway.

Anyone who expects a child to happily sit in a sardine can for hours on end being tempted by airline food and amused by the onboard entertainment is totally deluded.

Almost as deluded as an Aunty who agreed to take her nieces from one end of the world to another without a second thought or at least a carefully crafted Disaster Recovery Plan (DRP).

It seems we forget the pain of childbirth first, then when we reach middle age we forget the pain of children full stop. What kind of grandparents would we hope to make otherwise I guess.......

Let me explain what happened to this Aunty. And that Niece.

Exhibit A - One little niece all set for flying. Sweet heh?

Exhibit B - An hour into the 14 hour flight one little niece is already exploring ways to get more comfortable and is apparently very thirsty. Fair enough heh? What's an Aunty to do but give one little niece lots of apple juice to keep her well hydrated.

Exhibit C - Eight hours in, one erratic little niece is now pulling faces at any passenger she locks eyes with - particularly the woman sitting in the seat behind us - who oddly enough was reciprocating with not only similar facial gestures but equally as expressive hand gestures. How was I to know that this one little niece was so sensitive to apple juice that I would have been better just to pour a 10kg bag of sugar down her throat to achieve the same disastrous effect.

I have to say by the end of that flight we both were ready to be committed. My niece on the other hand had finally just fallen asleep.

So ever since then, whenever I see children on board I look straight at the parent or caregiver and give them one of those 'knowing smiles'. I  resist the urge to ask if I can sight their DRP and instead silently wish them all the luck in the world and hope for their sakes that there is something really mind numbing on the drinks menu.

As for me, I quickly put on my earphones and keep them on the entire flight. It's the best solution to most airborne toxic events.

So if its not screaming kids, then what annoys me about flying?

It isn’t really the in flight experience at all. I can put up with lack of leg room (Oh why is it some people like to recline their seats while they are eating almost forcing me to wear my meal), chatty neighbours (No, I really didn’t need to know about your horrific c-section before you even told me your name, no, really) and tiny bathrooms (I am terrified I will get locked in or worse that upon flushing I will somehow get sucked out of the plane’s jet).

But what really increases my blood pressure a tad is the whole airport experience. Checking in (now there are no people just machines doing the job and often they are not working causing huge waiting lines of angry people), the ever increasing security requirements (I swear they get you to keep taking bits of your clothing off for their own enjoyment not ours), Immigration and Customs (they are so slow, is it any wonder people illegally cross our boarders if they operate at that pace), getting your luggage off the carousel (what’s with the people almost sitting on the carousel to try and find their luggage first) and then trying to find your way out of the airport in one piece.

Flying, as opposed to life, really is about the destination and not the journey. And, fortunately for us, we are lucky to be able to fly to some great destinations even though some of the journeys getting there can be rather ho hum.

So tell me, does anything annoy you about flying?

Saturday 21 May 2011

Jane Fonda & Marlo Thomas


This is a great interview to watch for anyone who has a spare 15 minutes or so.

It's inspirational to have some older females in the public eye for a change. At 73 Jane Fonda is truly beautiful and as she says, she is that way because of good genes and money. However, she also has so much more going for her and the more I listen to her the more impressed I am. Her philosophies are very positive for older women. She doesn't hide her age, her plastic surgery or her mistakes.

She also has a great blog and her busy schedule would be a challenge for someone half her age.

Her fitness levels must be as good as they were in her Jane Fonda Workout days.
I bought the book but just didn't get the body. Ah well she says in this interview that its never too late to start....again.

Friday 20 May 2011

Stranger at the Football



Echoing the words of Apollo 14 Astronaut Edgar Mitchell, "There are no unnatural or supernatural phenomena, only very large gaps in our knowledge of what is natural."
Further to my previous post.

On a cold Scottish day seven years ago I was sitting in a near empty hospitality venue of a large Football Stadium. With little interest in the football being played outside I was feeling decidedly bored and actively counting down the endless minutes until I could go home.

Little did I realise that I would soon be jolted out of my apathy by the strange words of a man I had never seen before.

As I was peering out of the large window, looking for clues on the appeal factor of grown men kicking a ball from one end of a snowy pitch to the other, I heard a male voice behind me make a funny comment about the crowds in the stands.

I turned around and responded with a laugh. I’d never seen him before.

He was middle aged, portly and had one of those kind gentle faces with the beautiful skin and ruddy cheeks that many lucky Scots seem to have.

After some small talk, he asked me if I would mind if he sat down beside me. He then told me not to be alarmed or think he “was some sort of kook” but he had a message for me from my grandmother and she was very keen that I pass on her “love to Margaret”.

I looked at him alarmingly. Oh yeah, he was indeed some kind of kook. Nonetheless, just to be sure, I asked him to repeat what he had just said.

One, because I was hoping that his thick Glaswegian accent may have confused me. Two, that he might be absolutely blotto, and three, he had picked the wrong person because both my grandmothers had been dead for at least five years and were buried 12,000 miles away in Australia.

He then said very slowly and very quietly, “Your grandmother Elizabeth, the one who wore her long hair in a bun with an ornate comb, wants me to pass on some messages to you. She is quite insistent that you pass on her love to Margaret because she is sick.”

At this point I feared my boredom levels had caused not only my eyes to glaze over but my mind to follow suit. If it was not enough that I was stuck inside a football stadium I now had to contend with a man who clearly had a few problems with a love of football not being the only one.

I turned around hoping I could attract the attention of the hospitality staff to see if they could rescue me from this lunatic but they were all busy putting jugs of beer and wine on tables.

He continued on and said that he did not want to scare me in anyway but he had just come to watch the football but my grandmother really wanted him to pass her messages on to me. He said, “she is a force to be reckoned with”.

Right, I thought, my dead grandmother is going to a Scottish premier league football game on a Saturday afternoon and starts nagging a complete stranger picked out of a crowd of thousands to come find me in a large football stadium and pass on her messages to me. Bloody. Likely. Not.
Of course I glossed over the fact he knew the names of my sister and grandmother and how she wore her hair and that my sister was very sick. Sure, my dad's mother was a force to be reckoned with and a real matriarch of her family but surely everyone’s grandmother is called Elizabeth, right?

He then asked me how my ankle was. Ten years earlier I had been in a bus crash and had hurt my ankle badly and still had problems but there are no obvious signs. I asked him how he knew about my ankle and he said my grandmother wanted to give me some proof that it really was her.

He went on to say that she wanted me to be careful of my charm bracelet as the clasp was loose and there was a danger it might fall off. The bracelet was significant to me because she had given it to me and I wore it all the time. Three days earlier it had fallen off and I was not wearing it that day.

He said my grandmother was laughing about the trouble I had with my door key but he was unsure what that meant. It was true. For some bizarre reason I had trouble opening or locking the front door of our house much to the annoyance of my then partner. He often had to get out of the car and lock the house because I could not do it properly. No other keys were problematic just the front door key. Apparently it was my grandmother’s hand at work.

And just to put the fear of God into me he also told me that there were two other spirits hanging around too. One was a man called Ferdinand and he was wearing an old bush hat and had a beard. As it turns out it was my father’s grandfather’s name, not a very typical Australian name that anyone might guess. And the other was a boy who he said “looks just like you”. Now that made me cry.

I was getting very uncomfortable.

Thankfully our conversation was soon interrupted by rowdy football supporters pouring into the room after the game. He said he still hadn’t told me everything and left his contact details in case “I wanted to know more”. He walked off and I closely watched him looking for signs of mental instability, drunkenness, wings on his back or a halo above his head.

Nothing. He looked like Mr Joe Average, football punter.

In the end I decided it was all too bizarre and I would not bother contacting him. I also decided not to tell anyone for fear of being accused of imbibing in too many gin and tonics or being a little crazy as well.

However, a week later, I changed my mind.

After mulling over our conversation for several days I decided I wanted to know what else he had to say. I paid him a visit at his bookshop and bought a friend along as a witness. He told me that he was born with the ability (or disability perhaps) to be able to communicate with people who have passed over (to where exactly I am not sure but I am hoping for my sake not football stadiums). He tried to explain it to me, several times. I did not understand it then and I do not understand or really want to understand it now.

He was the most unlikely looking clairvoyant, psychic, spiritualist or whatever the correct term is that I could ever possibly imagine.

He gave me a lot more information and then told me that my grandmother was crying about something that she was not happy about in my life and went on to say that she could see someone was not treating me well. It was a warning to me that I never understood fully at the time and unfortunately I wish I had taken what was said to me a bit more seriously.

I never saw this man again but did learn that he was quite well known for his psychic abilities in the UK.

When I eventually came back to Australia I had another chance meeting with a clairvoyant, another unlikely looking candidate, who explained that, my grandmother was my spirit guide. A guardian angel of sorts I guess. She too also gave me messages as well which still to this day are unravelling.

I cannot explain any of it but I do believe he was communicating with my grandmother and that she really was trying to look out for me. Now rather than try to understand it or make any sense of it I just accept anything is possible. In the same way that I accept football or anything else I don’t quite 'get'. It happens and some of us are into it and some of us aren’t and some of us have far more knowledge about it than others. It just is what it is.

And no, I have never been to a clairvoyant since because if my grandmother needs to find me she clearly will. She always was determined and never let anything get it in her way!

Tuesday 17 May 2011

Heaven Sent

In an interview with the Guardian, British scientist Stephen Hawking explained, "I regard the brain as a computer which will stop working when its components fail. There is no heaven or afterlife for broken down computers; that is a fairy story for people afraid of the dark."

An according to a poll of the Sydney Morning Herald, 79% of its readers agree with him.

What do you think?

I guess if you think of yourself as a machine, and not a spirit, it would be hard to believe that there is life after death.

I think 'believing' can be a pschycologically positive thing because it can keep some people on the straight and narrow and it offers some hope in a world where, historically, life has been pretty harsh.

As for me, I am an absolute believer in the afterlife.

This belief was firmly cemented not necessarily by religious beliefs but because of a chance meeting with a stranger in a foreign country about 7 years ago. At the risk of being branded ‘odder” than you may already think I am, I will post about it soon. It was intriguing, unsettling and comforting all at the same time.

As for Heaven, well.....all I can say is .....

If there is no Heaven, how does Hawking explain George Clooney, Armedi Italian chocolate and the iPad?
Yeah, thought as much.



Note: The writer wants to be up front about the fact she is also is a firm believer in fairytales and that hope springs eternal.

Saturday 14 May 2011

Chauvanism is still alive and well

down under anyway.


Yesterday I mentioned to a male neighbour that I was applying to do some work at a nearby University.

He looked at me somewhat surprised and said, "What kind of work would you be doing there?

Before I could answer he said, "Flower arranging or something like that?"

I laughed at him - thinking he must be joking.

Alas, he wasn't.

I am off to hang my MBA on the front door and go arrange some flowers. Clearly my skills in this area are far more professional then I gave myself credit for and sure to get me noticed in all the wrong places.

A Flower Arranger.
Bloody idiot!



Tell me do you ever still experience attitudes like this? Personally I think its worse the older you get. Apparently once you are middleaged you also lose your brain and are limited as to what jobs you can do.

Photo: Flowers in Hong Kong and no, I had nothing to do with their arranging....just took the photo....really.

Thursday 12 May 2011

East Meets West

(I am reposting this as the original post disappeared along with comments during Blogger maintenance for some bizarre reason.)

I always thought of Hong Kong as a stop over destination to break that long 24 hour flight between Australia and Europe. I knew that I would eventually get around to visiting it one day but it has just never been on my Top 10 list of places to visit.

Well thanks to Virgin I finally made the trip and I loved it and wish I had done it much sooner.

Hong Kong has far more to offer than I ever could have imagined. And, as Arnie says, I'll be b-a-c-k (although I guess Maria is hoping he doesn't really mean that).

Hong Kong, as every travel guide will tell you, is a place where East meets West.(The UK only handed it back to China in 1997 after 156 years of British rule).

It really does balance a modern way of life with traditional Chinese practices. When I was sitting in a café one day I took this picture which in many ways reflects these differences - the old and new.

Hong Kong is also one of the most densely populated areas in the world and as a result is the world’s most vertical city. Looking out of the hotel room I was overwhelmed by the myriad of apartment buildings in every direction. Thankfully, Hong Kong also has one of the most amazing transport systems I have ever seen which easily gets these millions of people around.




While there is so much to see and do, the biggest surprise for me was the beautiful landscape, the amazing harbour and the surrounding islands. There is a lot of greenery, even in the city centre which is something I did not expect at all.

Hong Kong Island is dominated by steep, hilly terrain, which makes it the home of some rather unusual methods of transport up and down the slopes. And I think I got conned into taking every one of them, except perhaps for a donkey.

Although, as it happened, I ended up being a bit of an ass myself when my daughter persuaded me to take the Stairway to Urban Heaven as she likes to describe it. It is actually the biggest outdoor covered escalator in the world and carries 55,000 people up and down the vertical climb of 135 metres each day (20 escalators and three moving sidewalks).

“We have to take it right to the top", she said, "and then every 40 minutes it reverses so then we can come down again”.

She was wrong. So. Very. Wrong.

The escalator only comes down for the first two hours of the day to allow people to go to work. For the rest of the day it goes up. So I had a lot of stairs to walk down and that is why you are going to get to see so many lovely pictures of Hong Kong from greater heights. I took my time…. As it happened it was no real hardship, not that I told her that, given the many restaurants, bars, and shops lining the route down.

Oh and here we are, I was smiling but I was actually deciding how to throw her over the railing without anyone noticing…...until I got distracted by the amazing views.











The views over central Hong Kong, Victoria Harbour and the surrounding islands are just gorgeous (and well worth millions of steps). I think Hong Kong even beats NYC for the most impressive city skyline. Now that is really saying something!

I also want to give a shout out to everyone at EAST the most amazing hotel in which we stayed. Fabulous in every sense of the word. Hi-tech rooms, perfect for business travellers or holiday makers alike. The Service was just ‘right’ without being over the top and annoying like so many hotels are nowadays. It’s a fine line. The food at FEAST was amazing (the handmade chocolate divine). The Rooftop bar, Sugar, had the most incredible harbour views! The Gym called BEAST (Body by East) was excellent or so I am told! I could not fault a thing. I will be staying here again and cannot recommend it highly enough!! Anyone visiting Hong Kong, GO EAST!

Monday 9 May 2011

Paparazzi

Have no fear.

I'm not sure about you but since I started blogging more than four years ago I don’t leave home without my camera.

I've taken thousands of photos and sadly most of them will never see the light of day.

While I don't have any trouble taking pictures of inanimate objects, people on the other hand are a whole different story.

Especially moderately famous people whom I would never expect to strike a happy pose (mostly because they are usually running away from me with a look of terror on their faces).

While my ‘star stalking’ has improved somewhat since I made a complete fool of myself by chasing a famous artist around a book sale a couple of years ago, I still apparently have a long way to go.

First, it takes me ages to reconcile that the person in front of me is actually the person I think it is. I then usually yell loudly to the person next to me to seek confirmation as to whom I think it is. "Oh my god, oh my God, that's Kenny from that hilarious film and the Jenny Craig ad isn't it?" Then I eventually delve into my handbag (which is dangerous in itself) to find my camera. By the time I press click I usually only manage to get a lovely view of the person's back.

Actress Kate Ritchie in Melbourne Writer/Television personality Andrew Daddo in Gundagai
Actor/Comedian/Jenny Craig spokesperson, Shane Jacobsen, at Sydney Airport

Actor/writer/comedian, Shaun Micallef (with grey hair) shopping in Melbourne.
It could be anyone right?

You are just going to have to have to trust me.

Maybe in another couple of years I will manage to get faces in the picture that you can actually recognise and give the paparazzi a real run for their money. I wouldn't hold your breath though.

How about you, since you started blogging have you taken lots more photos?What have you done with them?







Thank You


Thanks to those of you who sent me messages about the death of my father.

We gave Des a great farewell. He will be sorely missed but he gave his family and friends so many great and funny memories which we will carry in our hearts always.

His final piece of advice to everyone he spoke with in his final days was to have no regrets and do the things that make you happy because life is incredibly short. So, I am going to focus on doing some more blogging again as I have missed being here, writing posts and especially reading your blogs.


Photo: At my sister's property in Jimboomba, Qld. Just beautiful, restful scenery. Click on photo to enlarge.