Friday 1 July 2011

Free speech, apples, swearing and Ukraine love

Life can get ridiculous at times. Here are some snippets from mine, just to round the week out.

Core blimey!

Last night while out at dinner my sister in law was telling us about her first time visit to an Apple store to buy an ipad for my brother. Everyone else at the table soon joined in waxing lyrical about the genius of Apple designs, their marketing and their OTT customer service. My daughter reminisced how she learnt to touch type on my first Mac when she was 5 and said she really wanted the latest ipad too.

Well, be careful what you wish for.

Early this morning she got a phone call from her bank. Someone had bought an ipad at the Apple store in London (about 1.30am our time), an Iphone from the 3 store and then tried to make a purchase of a computer using her obviously swiped credit card details.

Good job the Bank was on the ball but someone is running round with some ill gotten gains - a couple of shiny new apples.

I think it’s turned her off Apple ownership for the moment. Forbidden fruit and all that...

For F.. .ks Sake

Last Saturday I was walking in the inner city searching for an out of the way book shop. These days finding a book shop is like searching for a needle in a haystack isn't it?

I was preoccupied looking at the buildings on the opposite side of the road trying to find street numbers. 

I started walking across the road and suddenly I could hear a roar of voices coming towards me followed by a crowd of people waving Free Speech banners in the air.

Somehow I managed to get entangled in a public demonstration about proposed new legislation against swearing. As you do.

The most confronting thing though was their loud and angry chant.

F**K, F**K, F**K they screamed. Over and over.

I pushed my way through the crowd trying to reach the other side of the road in one piece. All the while thinking to myself, grrr, you people have taken the words right out of my mouth.

So, what could I do but join in.

Therapeutic, this freedom of speech thing is, I tell you. Like some kind of primal therapy.

The cloak of invisibility - does it exist?

Apparently there is an age where we females become invisible to the opposite sex. It’s 46 if you must know.

No, I haven’t made this up it’s supposedly a real research outcome which I will tell you about next week.

However, there are always exceptions to the rule.

Yesterday, my friend Marie was thrilled when she got wolf-whistled when passing a building site.

She took off her sunglasses and turned around to see whether the whistler in question might have been wearing coke bottle glasses.

The young guy looked at her, took his hard hat off and said very apologetically, Oh I am so sorry, Ma’am.

She looks younger from the back it seems. She was a tad disappointed.

Doesn't she know that a smart woman never looks behind or was that never leaves a man behind. Oh I forget now...

However, she will be walking everywhere from now on, guaranteed. She looks pretty hot in any direction. I would have posted a photo but she wouldn't be in it - supposedly she really doesn't like that much attention. Who knew?

Invisible and Stupid?

I was evaluating some beauty consultants for a makeup house last week. Unbeknownst to them, of course.

I had to go to two large department stores next door to each other and visit consultants from the same brand.

Consultant number 1 applied some foundation to my face and told me that it was the perfect colour, just beautiful, yade yade yade.

I then visited the next department store and saw Consultant no 2.

No 2 takes one look at the foundation applied by No 1 and says, “Oh no, that makeup you have on is not right for you”.

She has the perfect product, she says. Why, of course she would.

Out comes the exact same product and the same colour as No 1 used.

Then applied in the exact same way on the exact same face.

She told me it looked amazing, so different, yade, yade, yade.

Yeah great big tick, they lie sell really well.

And the makeup industry continues to thrive and grow exponentially…...wonder why…

And finally,.....

No matter what ridiculous things happen in my daily life I will always have this to cling on to……I have a Ukraine friendly blog.

The largest contiguous country in Europe (have no idea what that means but it sounds impressive right?) hits on me more than any other country in the world.

Maybe they think from the way I write that English is my second language too.

Didn’t you ever want to be a tiny bit big in the Ukraine…yes I thought so…but


Thank goodness for free speech and a little Ukrainian sustaining ridiculous moments in an otherwise topsy turvy world.

Have a good weekend everyone!


  1. oh the cloak of invisibility story hits home. But you know Lilly, we have to just somehow accept the fact that we're older and wiser and rejoice in it. I wouldn't want to be 20 again, and repeat all that living.

    Middle age is a sometimes painful adjustment.

  2. "... well the Ukraine girls really knock me out they leave the west behind ...
    Some Brits sang that once, maybe English was there second language.
    The free speech protesters didn't offer free passage through the street then?
    Well F--- forget them. funny story

  3. oh my spelling makes my English look like a fifth language.
    "their" not "there"

  4. 46? No kidding! Sigh... I've never been whistled at, I think. Then again... at my age, I couldn't remember anyway. :-)

    Ukraine? No kidding? Hey, Lily, I imagine people from every country would love your blog.

  5. Excellent story-telling Lilly. You are a natural at relating a yarn or two.
    Please publish a book one day!
    Warm hugs
    Peggy xxxxx

  6. Oh you make me laugh you funny thing. I can just imagine you in the middle of a demonstration. Least you get swear with them and at them at the same time. Ukraine, how funny is that, aren't blogs amazing things really. They do make the world such a small place. It really is great.

  7. Great post - very funny!

    However, there's a funny thing - of course, the young fit broads are very visible (sometimes a bit too visible), but I've always felt that women generally start to get interesting round about forty or so... I guess that makes me weird, but there it is ;)

  8. Invisible to the opposite sex? Can't see it myself...

  9. Hmm, I was in the Ukraine a few years ago and I can assure you, Lilly-- You've got way more going on then that country does so it's no surprise to me that you're a "must read" blog over there ;-)

    Grrr to the bozos who stole your daughter's credit card. If it's any consolation, at least they have good taste in computers.

    Ahhh, age 46 and becoming invisible. I hated when that happened, but I think it started for me at about 44, although I can't remember the last time I was whistled at-- from the front OR the back! high five to your friend!

    xoxo jj

  10. You've just brightened up a dreary morning... maybe I shouldn't smile about the credit card bit.

    Went down to CBA this morning to reduce the credit limit, prudent approach as I'm forever quoting the card on the net.

  11. I'm so sorry she had her credit card stolen. This happened to my Mom once and she had to deal with the bank and the charges for over a 6 month span. Not fun! (but don't blame Apple..... I'm an Apple convert :)

    Ok, I had to laugh about the cussing in the street, just picturing and having to join in. Lol

  12. As usual you have me laughing out loud. My mother is quite a beauty and quite shapely even in her senior years. A friend of mine said her aunt calls this being a "damn...fuck." A man sees her walking from behind and says "Damn...(sometimes adding the word "babee"), when she turns around he says: "Fuuuccckkk."


Thanks for your comments.