Thank you very much 2010.
You well and truly left your mark.
And I just want you to know it was a completely unexpected gift to end what was a superb holiday season.
Something shiny, colourful and which took me completely by surprise.
A BLACK EYE!
I would like to tell you it was the result of doing something exotic and adventurous but the truth is I got it because I offered to hang my daughter’s clothes out.
I know, how could that simple yet well intentioned task have gone so wrong?
My daughter lives in the inner city with a small balcony which masquerades as a backyard. So, given space limitations, she has a retractable clothesline.
Child’s play she said when I asked her how to use it.
I stretched the line out and attached it to the opposite wall.
I hung up a sheet and …..then….. BAM.
The clothesline retracted and smacked me hard in the face.
Who knew a clothesline could become such a dangerous projectile weapon?
I screamed. OK and screamed and screamed…..and screamed …..
Heads poked out of windows from apartments and shops all around to see what the noise was about.
Possibly a new spate of gangland warfare?
Oh dear. Sadly they were disappointed by the sight of a middleaged woman dancing in agony around the balcony, hand clutched tightly to her face believing she was now blind in one eye.
This city has something of a reputation in the underworld department. And it goes without saying that I have something of a reputation in the drama queen department. Particularly when hit in the face by a wayward clothesline which was clearly holding out for an extended Christmas break and didn’t want to go back to work.
I am just thankful that it’s summer and it’s not at all odd to be wearing dark glasses on a permanent basis. I could do without the pitying stares from people unsure if my injury was caused from having some very bad cosmetic surgery (given the bags and wrinkles remain) or if I was on the receiving end of someone’s ugly anger management issues. Who would guess a clothesline was the culprit?
Regardless of black eyes, 2011 is off and running. I am full of anticipation and plans. I have earmarked this as my year of living differently (get that Mr Universe? That would be D-ifferently not D-angerously….).
I have moved to Melbourne for a few months to experience one of the greatest cities in the world with more cities to come over the next year.
That’s the plan. And you can be sure there will be some stories to tell. Strangely, there always is.
Happy 2011 everyone and my wish for you is that those pesky, tightly coiled and highly strung clotheslines leave you and yours well and truly alone this year. And that you stay well and truly clear of them of course…….