Thursday 29 July 2010

Dear Readers Digest

You singled me out and tracked me down

And you’ve been harassing me ever since

With all your fancy, schmancy "LOOK AT ME" mail

Today you wrote to tell me that $10 million is on its way

Oh yeah, S-U-R-E it is RD, I can hardly wait

Except you're so, sooooooooo transparent

Telling me I'm special, a WINNER in your eyes

Taunting me to peel back the layers

Of your latest marketing must-have gem

Promising me this and that and so much more

BUT, and there's always a but where you're concerned
We both know where this is heading, right?

I've met your type plenty of times

While you’re whispering sweet nothings to me

You're promising countless others the exact same thing

So many promises, surrounded by so much small print

Resulting in so many bitter disappointments

So how about we call it for what it really is

You're a manipulative, deceitful stalker

Made worse because you hide behind that thin cloak of respectability.

So RD, now that you know

that I know what you are
and what kind of game you're playing

Why won’t you take NO for an answer and get the hell out of my mail box and leave me alone?

I'm begging you



  1. Once they get a foothold they never let go. Get their mail, put it in a manila envelope and send it to them without a stamp. You only have to do that a couple of times and they give up.

  2. Oh!!! You've just said everything I've been wanting to say! I keep getting those as well. And we all know we are not winners unless we give something to them! So frustrating.

  3. LOL, LOL....Oh Yes! Indeed! I love tgis post Lilly...I used to be on their list, along with Publisher's Clearing House...The money I spent trying to get that Million....! But one day I woke up and told them to take a Flying Leap....And they have never darkened my door again. That was over 25 years ago....What a relief!
    You Put It PERFECTLY, My Dear!

  4. You tell ´em girl! I´m glad they haven´t found my email yet...

  5. Bastards! I'd like to know exactly how many people have won the money.

  6. All those people who "win" that they show on TV - I've wanted to call them and ask if they were paid to look surprised and act like they really got that kind of money. Everything is a business and they prey on those easily roped in. Grrr.

  7. from the comments so far, I think you touched on a sore point for many.
    I don't mind junk mail much (maybe it will help keep our postal system going?). Most of it you don't even need to open just drop it in recycling.
    Empty promises and marketing just go together well.
    What I really hate in telemarketer ringing my phone. Those jerks will even call my mobile. I bet a post on that will get even a better response.

  8. Could we lump HGTV into the RD mess? Each time I am emailed about some decorating sweepstakes, I fall all over again!

    I'll be back to Living Boldly in late August ... glad you like my photo .. header photo was taken on a drive home from Eugene to Bend ... cabin in the woods photo taken at Suttle Lake Resort near Bend.

    I continued to write poetry from time to time on Poetry Matters so I wouldn't forget how it feels to actually sit down and compose something .....

  9. I know EXACTLY how you feel!
    xo jj

  10. I realize that for OZ or Aussie things, you are my go to person. I hope you don't mind. Maybe I should try to connect with some other blogging Aussies (that phrase sounds funny).
    Still with me?
    Over on some technical engineering site I ran across news of the death of a famous-but-not-famous Aussie.
    Did you ever hear of David Warren?
    Well that should-be-famous Aussie was directly responsible for much of the airline safety we enjoy today. Here's a good article on him.

  11. Hey Lisleman, I cant email you from your comment on my blog for some reason. I dont mind you sending me this at all. This was news to me. this never seemed to get reported here in Oz. He invented the black box recorder, wow. I love the fact he never gave up despite the ridicule he received at the time.

  12. Readers Digest are like some bad assed religious group you cant get away from. I love reading their books in the dentists office but that is about it. Their marketing borders on the insane.

  13. The ubiquitous RD even winkled us out in the wilds of Lancashire and we fell for their beguiling sales talk and dreamt of untold riches! (What fools) and have lived to regret it ever since.

  14. You'll NEVER get rid of them now!

  15. Lilly, that's funny. I used to send in the sweepstakes when I started receiving my subscriptions, but not anymore. I still enjoy reading all the jokes and the articles there, though.

    Have a great weekend,

  16. @ Tasha - lovely to see you drop by. I have been a totally slack blogger for nearly a year I think...

  17. They haven't found me yet. Maybe it's because we moved from Chicago to Hawaii. We sure haven't gotten the mail we used to, which is a good thing.


Thanks for your comments.