Sunday 25 July 2010


BLACK IS OVERDONE...CLEARLY

I love black, in anything. Well nearly everything.

There is one exception. I gave up owning black luggage the night I stood in front of the baggage carousel at JFK airport for what seemed like an eternity trying to work out which of the 345 pieces of black luggage swirling round and round was mine.

So, given this overabundance of black in our world, and my problems distinguishing between it, you might have assumed that I would have thought twice about buying a black car.

Apparently not.

Yesterday I stood outside my car in a busy shopping centre trying to unlock it. Much to my surprise it wouldn’t open. The reason for this was soon cleared up when a guy walked up behind me and said, “Excuse me but that’s not your car. I think yours might be a couple of cars that way”. He sighed audibly as he pointed to my black car in the same row.

Oh, ah..thanks...and yes it was doubly embarrassing when I realised the cars were not even the same make or model.

So it looks like black cars might be like black luggage where I am concerned. Impossible for me to distinguish between them. I might have to stick a coloured ribbon on my car or paint a stripe down its side for ease of reference in future. But not likely. Did I tell you I love my black car?

AUSSIE WHO HAS EVERYONE'S ATTENTION

It seems like the only "Aussie" being talked about everywhere is custody-battled Mel Gibson, currently being bagged by even Arnold Schwarzenegger. As an Aussie, I just want to point out that Mel was born in the US to American parents and came here when he was 11 and went back to live some 10 years later. He has always been a little unusual has Mad Max err... Mel. Accusations, from physical abuse to death threats, come from Gibson's former girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva. Meanwhile Gibson claims, between vile rants, that he's being extorted. If so, he has clearly been misled by his heart or some other organ. But, rather than mock, let's learn from his mistakes by remembering my grandmother's advice which dammit I never followed either: "Never have a child with someone till you've had gastro together," and "You'll never really know someone till you're leaving them."

FOOLS GOLD

Botox shmotox. In further evidence Sydney's rich folk have truly lost their marbles, a beauty salon in Paddington is offering ''gold facials''. Quoi? According to the beauty therapist, sheets of pure 24-carat gold leaf are applied to the face, which results in ''glowing, radiant skin'' after a series of high-tech procedures worthy of a Stealth bomber are applied, including something called the ''ultrasonic nano mist spray'', which produces ''negative irons'' to make the gold ''dissolve'' into the skin. The treatment takes 60 minutes and costs $550.

WHOSE ASS?

I took a drive this morning to a nearby country town called Yass. For some reason I’ve never noticed this sign before but are you seeing what I saw? Dear me..



Have a great week everyone. I will be spending it learning by new number plate by rote amongst other things!

14 comments:

  1. Love the Yass sign ...too funny!!

    I once had a maroon camry ...there were thousands of them ....I eventually tied a pink ribbon the arial so I could find it in carparks. Now with a white toyota corolla hatch ...small white cars are EVERYWHERE ...I click the open/shut thingie until I see a flash of light in the carpark, then I run for it!

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  2. Your luggage story reminds me of when I went on honeymoon. The hotel porter asked 'Carry your bag,sir?' To which I gave the obvious answer 'Nah, let her walk...'

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  3. Hello there! I have tied a bright plaid ribbon around the handle of my black bag! So far, no one has embraced the plaid ... so far!

    My car is black too but it has a nice cloth top which there aren't that many of here in Bend ... easy to spot. Even more so with the top down ...

    Hope you don't mind that I forwarded Stafford Ray's real estate post/link to you. He is another really neat Aussie blogger.

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  4. That sign is so funny! M-Yass....how can you NOT see it. :)
    I´m with you on black luggage, I have completely changed to dark blue.... hahaha

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  5. Hmmmm. I put neon pink or red or whatever other color yarn ribbons/bows I feel like on the handles of my black luggage so it is easy to find coming down an airport baggage ramp!

    As for the car... that's tougher.

    The gold facial is absurd. What some people won't so to feel 'important'. Yeesh.

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  6. Sigh... car rules for the uninitiated: red cars always go faster, black cars get too hot in the Aussie sun!

    :)

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  7. @ Sarah - ha ha, that made me laugh, a girl after my own heart!!

    @ Mike - of course I know you would never speak about Mrs Smith in that way.....

    @ Helen - now if you tell me you drive a BMW I will be jealous - top down mmm sounds great!!

    @ Betty - yes my luggage is like a blue pinstripe suit - boring but I can recognise it easily!

    @ Aurora - yes I even gave up on the coloured ribbon on th eluggage and just changed colours.

    @ Young Werner - you know that is all I have heard - black gets dirty too quickly and it gets too hot BUT I have to say it really looks great on this particular model. However, I may change my mind in the middle of summer I guess...

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  8. Ha! That McDonald's sign is great.

    I'm sure most Aussie's dislike the "Mel" connection. What a jerk, huh?

    My suitcases are bright red and hard to miss. \i had to make the change because I couldn't read the luggage tags without my glasses and they went around on the belt so fast that all became a joke. Ahh, aging.

    Hope you're enjoying July! Miss you.
    jj

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  9. "gastro together" is that connected with Myass? No really, what does that mean? Getting sick together?

    Black - agree - very overdone. I really dislike how gadget makers (stereos, TV) took to using black on black buttons and controls. As my eyesight weakens I can't make out the controls. Makes me want to go Mel Gibson.

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  10. I nearly got into the wrong car yesterday at a home improvement store. I was wondering why there was all the stuff on the seat. OOPS!! Mine was the red car on the other side of the truck!

    Love the Yass sign! Hahaha!!!!

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  11. Aaaack! That is too, too funny! I love it!

    I've had the same problem with our luggage. We made a point of getting maroon and green luggage for just that reason.

    In Hawaii, it's WHITE cars! Everybody's got a white car. In fact, they were charging extra for white Priuses. Hmmm, how do you pluralize Prius anyway. We ended up with a silver one just because we didn't want to pay extra for the white. Sheesh!

    As for Mel... tsk!

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  12. Fun-ny, fun-ny. I wish I could come up with the scams to make money off of people's vanity but I am: too honest and think to highly of people having enough sense to realize that most of these cosmetic treatments don't work.
    As for Mel - did you have to point out that he's US born and half-bred? You could have kept that point to yourself Lilly.
    As usual, you have me crying between the laughs.

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  13. I wonder if Yass ever gets backed up?

    Lilly! Here you are! You dropped off of my reader so I assumed that was it for you.

    So good to see you again, darling...I have missed you :)

    Peace ~ Rene

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  14. OMG - I busted out laughing with that sign. Good thing it opens early. OMG, just horrible. I'm sure the sign got a lot of attention, good marketing, actually. Lol. We all need a chuckle when reading road signs!

    Ok, the black luggage. I have a solution and really it works - but you must NOT share this with anyone! shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... Put something on the outside of the luggage. Ribbons or flowers or stickers or something to make it stand out. That's what we do with our luggage and it works like a charm. We can see our luggage the minute it is on the belt :)

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Thanks for your comments.