Saturday 3 April 2010

Chocoholics Anonymous

I've never met a piece of chocolate I didn’t like.

So, for one reason or another, you can imagine how happy Easter makes me.

White chocolate, dark chocolate, chilli chocolate and even the pretend kind (like tofu dipped in carob) is fine by me. I’ve even been known to eat cooking chocolate if the ‘urge’ strikes and there is nothing else close at hand.

Chocolate has seen me through the good times and the bad times (ok, ok, and every time in between).

I don’t need a reason to indulge. Chocolate is reason enough isn't it?

And best of all it's cheaper than therapy and you don't need an appointment.

However, given you are likely to be in a chocolate coma by this time tomorrow, I thought I'd pass on a few early tips to those worried about looking like the size of a house after a day of over indulgence.

Remember, the aim is to become chocolate enriched, not sick,

1. Nibble do not bite. There are no kilojoules/calories in nibbled chocolate.
2. The first and last Easter egg has no calories. The first is a taste test and the last is just tidying up. Besides eating the last Easter Egg prevents arguments and awkward moments and is a case of self sacrifice and therefore calorie free.
3. Tiny Easter eggs are calorie free. You must east 300 at least before you put on any weight.
4. Chocolate rabbits with weird faces do not have as many calories as ones with really cute faces. It's true, it really is.
5. French chocolate is far too expensive to have any fat content in it at all. Just look at any French woman if you don’t believe me.
6. Any alcoholic substance that you use to wash down the chocolate reduces the calorie content of said chocolate by 50%.
7. Eating equal amounts of white chocolate and dark chocolate produces a balanced diet.
8. And if you don't believe anything else I've said just remember that chocolate has loads of preservatives and preservatives will make you look younger.

What can I say?

Except perhaps,

Happy holidays to you all and easy does it on that chocolate.....or at least wait until no-ones's looking....

Image mine, part of my Easter egg making.


  1. I'm extremely grateful for your list. It has completely put my mind at rest and the guilt about over-indulging has completely disappeared...thankyou ;-)

    Happy Easter xx

  2. Well! What an informative and useful post! Excellent!

    By the way - a small tip for you in return... if you should notice a numbers of men in white coats milling around outside and ringing your bell, keep very quiet and DON'T answer the door!

    Happy Easter. :)

  3. May chocolate rain down upon you always Lilly.
    Hope you have a peaceful, carefree Easter.
    Lots and lots of love
    Peggy xxxx

  4. Ahhhh Chocolate.... see, that's all I need and I'm smiling! :)

  5. Happy Easter to you Lilly, thanks for the morning laugh and oh so important chocolate advice! I'm indulging as well.

  6. Happy Easter to all of you...
    Thank you for the post..

  7. We dont really celebrate Easter, but because you wrote all this, I am going to go the chocolate way. Only thing, in honor of global warming, I will be having it with mango icecream. :-)

  8. Did you know Chocolate is a vegetable? :) Happy Easter!

  9. you know I heard there are other eggs than chocolate ones. I think they might come from chickens or maybe rabbits.

    One year I had Easter twice. I had a trip to Greece and their church celebrated on a completely different Easter day. So you should plan a trip to get two Easters.

  10. Catching up on my blog reading, finally. Happy Saturday and Happy Easter!!!!

  11. My name is Leslie and I am a chocoholic.

  12. Ha ha Leslie, hilarious!!!

    @ af1blog - now if I did not know better than I would think you lived just round the corner. Around 10.30pm last night someone did knock on my door but I was alone and did not answer it. was a bit late for someone to make a social call and now I know who it was.....gulp..

    @ Ugich - oh my mango icecream - do you think you could send some my way?

  13. Oh, at last! A valid list of reasons why I need to include chocolate in my diet!!! And here I've been starving for some and thought it would just be too naughty an indulgence!! I'm going out immediately and stock up!! Hope you're having a terrific, Happy Easter weekend, Lilly!


  14. Okay I don't eat chocolate so I got a bottle of Baileys for Easter. Are there any calories if Baileys is consumed at Easter? ;)
    Happy Easter Lilly!

  15. Oh, I do love chocolate - but mainly dark chocolate...

  16. Oh - and so glad to hear that chocolate doesn't have that many calories! ;-)

  17. I am so full of delicious chocolate already and the day has just started. At least my conscious is clear, not many calories at all, thank goodness.

  18. I meant 'conscience', I think the chocolate is causing me to lose consciousness....bliss..

  19. And did you know, Lilly, that eating chocolate can reduce the risk of having a heart attack? Something to do with eating chocolate to reduce stress therefore the strain on the heart.
    So I scoffed half of my grandchildren's Easter eggs for purely medicinal reasons...

  20. Ha! Ha! Unfortunately, I don't have any children nearby so I couldn't really justify buying chocolate eggs and bunnies, plus, now that I read labels, I don't eat milk chocolate or chocolate w preservatives. I did find a few dark chocolate squares and I put them in the fridge. I was eating them one square per day but now, with the permission I've been given from this blog, I'm going to have at them! Still, it won't be as good as the good old tiny eggs, but, hey, they'll be on sale tomorrow. I think I'll walk down to the local drug store and get at least one bag. Happy Easter.

  21. Wonderfully funny ... now how about jelly beans?

  22. I like the way you think Lilly! I'm going to print this out and tape it to my pantry door-- so every time I reach for chocolate I can do it guilt free.


    Happy Easter,

  23. Excellent post :)
    Thanks for putting up stuff like this!
    My email has chocolate in it. Embarrassing at the age of 19 but who cares?

  24. From now own, I'm staying away from the cute ones.

    Chocolate bunnies, that is.

  25. I believe you forgot to add that chocolate is good for your heart, figuratively and in reality =)

  26. I'm fussy... a Toblerone-only-kinda-guy :)

  27. This post was just what I needed to read having just consumed my weight in chocolate after---are you ready---GIVING IT UP FOR LENT. I was insane! What was I thinking??? You should have seen my frenzied Easter basket assembly late Saturday night. I ate at least 5 miniature chocolate eggs for every one I tucked in the plastic grass. Alas. Swimsuit season is still thankfully a good two months away.

    Flat Rock Creek Notebook

  28. @ Mary - hilarious - I think we all know what you mean and we are all paying for it now...

  29. Excellent advice, there, and it makes me feel less guilty, which is an extra bonus.

  30. LOL. Love every one of your tips. And, I'm already looking very French. Teeheehee.

    Love your humor as always.


  31. I am never eating another piece of chocolate again...

  32. Oh Dear....! I just popped a delicious piece of chocolate into my mouth--With all that great advice, Well....How could I not??

    LOL! Very funny post Lilly....And being a Chocoholic myself, I really get what you are saying....EXCEPT, I have never liked White Chocolate...It just doesn't taste like Chocolate to me....But Dark Chocolate and Milk Chocolate---BRING IT ON!!! LOL!

  33. Just loved this post, especially since I just nibbled a chocolate. It was dark chocolate and now I earn for something a wee bit sweeter. Glad to see you back to regular blogging.


Thanks for your comments.