Thursday 18 March 2010

Women run the World

I went for a jog and nearly died.

When I recover,

I might be able to gather my thoughts and post something spectacular that will take your breath away.

I'm sure I even frightened the neighbours today.

So much so they probably locked their kids and pets inside.

"Deep throat in runners coming your way, lock your doors and windows people".
I sounded like I was two lungs short and needed emergency treatment by an oxygen tank.

That's not good is it? Gasping for air like that.

Well granted, not if you drop dead in the middle of the road it's not, but I made it home..... before I collapsed.

Health is everything.

Middle age makes you think differently. Granted, its usually about where the closest bathroom stop is. However today I also started to think about who in the neighborhood would know CPR if I collapsed while out jogging.

I ran even faster when I remembered that the creepy guy who lives around the corner is an ex paramedic who's always on his balcony no matter what time of day I walk, run or drive by.

"Hiya", he says, "lovely day for it." CPR or jogging, I wonder?

Note to self: Must remember to change jogging route. Just in case of collapse.

In between grappling for air, and focusing on stride length, foot strike, posture, core, arm swing hip movement and that bottle of wine, I also try and solve the world's problems.

I know, I know, you can thank me later when I've achieved my dreams and yours too.

Occasionally, the lack of oxygen means my thoughts are very, very creative but a bit of lateral thinking never hurt anyone, did it?

Take today. I thought about the US health care reform package.

I know. What a worldly, interested individual I am.

I care even when I'm gasping for air.

You don't get people much better than that.

Well OK, who am I kidding, you know me already. I'm not that civic minded.
I feel for you Americans and all but I have way bigger concerns over this issue.

The truth of the matter is Michelle and the kids are not coming to visit us now because Obama is still trying to push through the Health care reforms and had to delay his trip.

Damn Health Care Bill. What's the matter with it? Why won't it fit? Can't they just shove it in?

I feel cheated. What is a President without his First Lady?

I am seriously disappointed. And it goes without saying she must be too.

So now, Obama is coming to town for 24 hours, on his own.

Well nearly on his own.

There's also the 500 others coming with him.

Who do you imagine these 500 people can be?

Secret Service? Fox News? Who exactly?

I feel I should do something to welcome him to our city.

I need to jog some more and focus on some possibilities.

How to welcome the leader of the Free World.
I may do a jog past and take a picture.

I bet those Secret Service agents know a thing or two about CPR.

Deep throat in runners, that should give them all something to think about.

Oh and my solution today? Women should run the world. We are experts at multi-tasking. Hillary would have made that health care package fit. And I reckon Michelle could have too.

I'll keep doing my best.

Jogging and solving the world's problems. It makes me breathless just thinking about all the possibilities.

PS. Happy St Patrick's Day. To the spammers in internetland, you are driving me crazy with your comments. Go away. Now. And, for the rest of you lovely folk, I shall be around to catch up on all my blog reading in the next day or so. I need to lie down for a while first ...oh yeah, and if you have problems you are looking for a unique solution for, I am happy to give some attention to them in an oxygen deprived state while out running.


  1. Great post. As far as I can tell women have been running the world (albeit often by proxy) for some considerable time now.

    Good at multi-tasking? Well... maybe... But as Billy Connelly reportedly said - if women are so good at multi-tasking, how come they find it so difficult to have sex and a headache at the same time?

    Just a thought to help you hone your lateral thinking skills during exercise - lol

  2. * cough * aheam... ummm... some words in your post are definitely going to get some *interesting* google analytics search results. Lol....

    Ahhhh, the health bill. Me not touchin' that with a 10 foot pole. No indeed!!!

  3. If you do the jog past why not aim to collapse right at Obama's feet so he will have to personally perform CPR ? What a claim to fame that would be if it was successful You would be on TV --worldwide

  4. Forget stride length, foot strikes, swinging arms, core etc. Always display a determined look and raised eyebrows. And if you want to really zap B. H. Obama into a spell, you need to do what they did in one of our states yesterday : they made a garland of 1000 ruppee notes, which was the size of two people, and garlanded the state's woman chief minister with it. Supposed to be the party workers showing their love and affection. At last count the garland was worth 1,000,000 Rs and was being dismantled into party coffeurs. I am sure Obama will never forget that.... just my 2 cents idea ....

  5. Lilly, you are leaving me out of breath with all the laughing I do when I am reading you!! You know some of those secret service men I would not mind having them doing a little CPR... I'm just sayin' :)

    Hmmm theres Michelle, and Hilary... but I say Lilly for President... has a certain ring to it don't you think? Never mind the fact you aren't a US citizen of course.

  6. blogwalking friend
    What do you want to exchange links with me?

  7. Myself I am more of a walker or maybe occasional hiker. I actually hate running.
    Please fill us in on Barry's (it would be cool to call him that) visit and if you catch a glimpse of him.
    I have driven by his home in Chicago but he's never home.

    Be careful on running - getting your breathe taken away shouldn't come from running.

  8. I'm doing a kind of deep throat laughing thing.. very attractive!?

    Actually, running is great for getting ideas and cleaning out the mind.. if you survive, that is! ;-)

  9. I enjoyed how you made your stream of conscious thoughts in a "jogging" form. A note about Hillary Clinton pushing through the health care package - if she was not paid off by big pharma back in the 90's, that health care reform would've been put through by now.

  10. I am getting really sick of all the spammers.
    And I can't even walk a block without running out of breath so I think you are doing a pretty good job.
    Now I'm going to go put something green on before my kids get home from school.

  11. Hello my Aussie mate!
    As always enjoyed reading your humorous and thought provoking post.
    I am definitely NOT a jogger, I love walking and smelling the rose and talking to the angels...smarmy eh!

    A song by Garbage popped up into my head called "Run Baby Run" as I was reading this post. Here are some of the lyrics.

    "Life can be so cruel
    Don't it astound you?
    So when nothing seems too certain or safe
    Let it burn through you
    You can keep it pure on the inside
    And you know what you believe to be right
    So you're not gonna crack
    No you're never gonna crack

    Run my baby run my baby run
    Run from the noise of the street and the loaded gun
    Too late for solutions to solve in the setting sun
    So run my baby run my baby run"

    Belated Happy St Pattys day for yesterday....gotta love the Irish.

    Big hugs
    Peggy xxxx

  12. lilly;

    I felt myself getting out of breath with you. My mind wonders all the time when I exercise. I've dropped a few pieces of equipment when my mind was thinking about what I should eat after I exercised...great huh?
    Thanks for thinking about our heath care, I'm sick of it myself.
    PS I agree women could rule the world, and do it very well.

  13. For the record, according to my US health care provider, you get almost as much benefit from walking the same distance at a nice quick pace as you do running, it just takes longer to get there but without the potential heart attack.

  14. Love your post. Not a runner myself I prefer to exercise at the gym. I hope you didn't scare too many children, although I know a few ... never mind.

  15. Absolutely! Women SHOULD run the world!

    High five on jogging! I have every excuse known to mankind NOT to jog but it's seriously time to get my tush moving again.

    Happy St. Patrick's Day.


  16. I LOVED this post, Lilly! Excellent as always! I wish health care could be shoved through, too. We NEED something, NOW! I'd also love for the Obamas to all head your way to see what great, friendly people the Aussies are.

    Those spammers were really making me crazy, too. I say it again, there's a special hot place for those idiots waiting for them.

    Happy St. Patrick's Day! Hmmm... Do they celebrate that in Australia?

    And you know what I just read? They said that swimmers get 50% MORE benefit than joggers and runners. Sigh... I don't know how to swim.

  17. Run Forrest ... I mean Lilly.... Run!
    Great post.

  18. But why oh why did you go for a jog? Why???

    And doesn't it like TAKE 24 hours to get here from there? Why come at all, especially if he can't bring his gorgeous girls?

  19. I'm a Chinese friend, very happy to meet you. Actually we had only known country, but through the Internet, through this blog, we can get together.thank you for your articles!

  20. Oh Lilly you probably ran around the block, lol! There are so many problems you could solve you know. I agree doesnt it take 24 hours to fly to Australia? Doesn't seem much of a point really does it? I agree with Barbara somehow collapse at his feet. See who does the CPR. I happen to really love Obama and yes swimming is way better than running.

  21. hi friends .. I like this article very helpful for me,,,,
    what about link exchange..??

  22. I really enjoyed reading your post. I shall come back as often as I can.

    I don't know why Obama is taking this trip now anyway. Wasn't the reason to show his girls where he grew up? So now they aren't coming along?

    Innovative idea writing as if we were jogging in your mind sort of.

  23. And oh yes, I wanted to second your idea that women would do a better job of running the world than men. Just think what a mess they have made of it. It is about time women took over and straightened everybody out.

  24. I enjoyed reading about your very funny tale of jogging. You know they can stuff that health care system where the sun don't shine. Obama is a one term President, sorry, my opinion, we the people don't count. I read somewhere you should walk not jog, jogging takes its tole on your ankles and knees. Lily, I always enjoy your posts, you always have a sense of humor. Have a nice day and weekend.

  25. I imagine you are devastated by the news that Obama has had to cancel his trip altogether because of the health reform bill troubles. BUT the good news is that he is bringing his whole family here in June. That has got to make you smile and it gives you more time to get that jogging happening.

  26. I personally love watching women run. There should be more of it really. It's a great spectator sport.

  27. Stop that running, stop and sit and do some people watching, drink something good and soak up the atmosphere. best wishes Blu..PS thanks for the visit!...great place the internet!

  28. "Women should run the world. We are experts at multi-tasking." I said almost exactly the same thing on my blog today.

    Good luck with your running.

    Peter G's comment cracks me up...:-)

  29. What a laugh you funny thing. I can just imagine you doing this. Walking is the BEST exercise ever especially. Have you looked at the face of runners? you know the ones that do it all the time? They age quickly they really do. Stick to walking at a pace you can still hopd a glass of bubbly in if you need. Have a great weekend.

  30. Sounds like you need to make sure that you carry identification with you ... just in case of collapse. I definitely liked that suggestion that you collapse in front of Mr. Obama. Think of the blog post you could write! How do you think those deep thoughts while you jog? I only think about breathing long enough to take another step.

  31. What a funny post! I really enjoyed it. I like your staccato style-very easy to read. I used to run like that, always on the brink of heart failure. Now I mostly go for long walks.

  32. Oh, yeah, I could see the news headlines now. "President Obama Performed a Mouth to Mouth Resuscitation on a Gogeous Australian Jogger". LOL.

    Gosh, it's been so long since I jogged. I'm sure I would collapse if I were to jog now. I'll just do the walking nowadays.

    Your post made me chuckle again. You're too funny.


  33. keep jogging, Lilly, it's a good thing...what great thoughts you come up with. If Obama doesn't get the health care passed, I don't know who else will.

  34. Thanks for your comments everyone! I shall be around to visit your blogs soon. Obmama is not visiting after all.....well at least for now. Seems domestic matters have taken precedence which is how it should be. It will give me time to get fit...

  35. ,,,, Miss Lilly ... please take your cell phone along on those runs. Never know when you might need it.

    I am so tired of the health care debate I just want it to be over ... whatever the result.

  36. Oh...I am so sorry about The Presidents visit, my dear....I must say I PRAY that this Health Care Bill passes---flaws and all---It is better than NO Bill, and they can and WILL continue to work on it to make it better, after it has passed....WE ARE ALMOST THERE!!!

    BTW: I've Oxygen here my dear, if you can get! Do take care and definitely change that route....You don't need a retired Paramedic Sex-Creep giving you CPR!

  37. Right, that post has clinched it. I will not be tempted into going back to work fulltime again. I miss reading your posts too much!


Thanks for your comments.