Thursday, 11 March 2010
Succinct, salacious and short I am not
I never realised how special you were.
It was only last week that I was telling a group of people that you and I weren't even acquaintances, let alone friends.
They all looked at each other in undisguised shock and laughed.
“No way”, they said, "you don't use Facebook?"
I felt like the lone wall flower at the school dance.
It wasn't as if I had announced that I'd never used a toothbrush or worn underwear or paid taxes. Yet, I still felt I was committing some kind of terrible Social Sin.
I know that we are now defined by our social media presence but who really has time for Blogging, Twitter and you too?
I tried twittering but I got sick of the short, staccato, sentence speak. I am not succinct and salacious enough. And the only people that wanted to follow me belonged on XXX sites.
And you? Well, forgive me for saying this, but you always seemed a tad sleazy and stalkerish to me.
Why? Well think about all the information people give you. Not just their name, age and where they live, but the results of all those amusing little ‘which Twilight cast member are you most like?’ personality tests, details of their private life and all sorts of other information about who they are, what they do and where they spend their time.
A 'private' company with all that information. You could rule the world you know, you great big Media Giant.
However, as the world turns, it just so happens that I learnt some positive things about you this week that sent shivers down my spine.
First, I read in the newspaper about your war involvement.
Because of you, the Israel Army was forced to call off a raid on the West Bank after one of its soldiers mentioned it to you and you told the whole world. The soldier updated his page with, “On Wednesday we are cleaning Qantanna, and on Thursday, God willing, Going home”. The army had to cancel the raid. His page contained details of his unit and the exact time and location of the planned sweep. He was jailed unfortunately for his stupid blabbermouth mistake but no-one got bombed at least.
Then yesterday, my daughter emailed me.
A week ago, she was finally finishing her unpacking after moving to a new city. She found letters that an ex boyfriend had written her when she was a young teenager. She put a message on her Facebook page asking if anyone knew what happened to this guy. None of her friends knew and he wasn't a friend of yours either. No Facebook page.
But reconnection is your middle name, isn't it?
Yesterday, at 7.30am, my daughter was presenting some ‘Legal Eagle straight over my head type of talk’ at a breakfast seminar.
And guess what?
She looked out into the audience and her teenage boyfriend was sitting there, smack bang in the front row.
Co-incidence? I think not. Facebook you are seriously freaky. How did you do that? You really do reconnect old friends online and offline and deliver it faster than the Universe or Oprah could manage.
Maybe I will change my mind about you after all. How can I mistrust you when all you want to do is make friends and stop wars.
Your 'possible' new friend
Do you have any freakish Facebook stories, good or bad to share? And let me know if you are on Facebook, I really want to know how much of a social outcast I really am.
Categories: Dear .......