Thursday 30 April 2009

What my brother's dog taught me

My brother Michael asked me to look after his two year old Staffordshire Terrier, Rosie, while he and his family were away for a few days.

He was desperate. I knew it. And no doubt Rosie knew it too.

Clearly every other person he knew was 'busy'.

Unfortunately, not all of us have the Steve Irwin way with animals.

My brother had considered taking Rosie on the trip but they had mixed results with her training. The last I heard, my 12 year old niece was curled up in the dog cage trying to show Rosie how it's done. Rosie was standing outside the cage with a big grin on her face.

Rosie, you see, is one of those special dogs. The ones who come with a hefty price tag, a family tree which would rival any European royal and expectations of a certain way of life.

When I arrived, Rosie was beyond thrilled. Click on image to enlarge.


Not unsurprisingly she bounced back to her usual sparkling self just as my brother reversed out of the driveway. His parting words were, "If she starts playing up, just use a deep voice that sounds like me and say, No, Rosie." Easy. If you're him with a deep voice, that is.

Maybe she read my mind and didn't like my train of thought. I was picturing her in something a little more feminine, possibly a pink or white collar to break up that all black look. Maybe even a strategic frill placed somewhere or other.
By the end of the first night, she was showing me who was top dog. And it wasn't me. She had me cornered and was baring her teeth in a menacing way and barking loudly. I ended up standing on a lounge chair with a cushion in one hand (oh, get over yourself you Dog Whisperers, I was under the threat of attack) and a big bag of treats in the other. Telling her "No, No, No", in my high pitched, squeakiest voice.

All those meticulous Rosie Rules my sister in law had typed out and put on the fridge were totally forgotten. She ate what she wanted when she wanted, slept when she wanted, had her mates over at all hours of the day and night and wandered round the house in all the Rosie free zones.

By the end of the week, Rosie had chewed my favourite pair of shoes, eaten two weeks of treats, destroyed most of the new vegetable garden, tastefully decorated the backyard in chewed up newspaper and toilet tissue, trashed her kennel and looked exhausted. I, on the other hand, had methodically worked my way through my brother's bar and was wearing ear muffs.

We managed to clean ourselves up just in time to greet the happy family on their return.

"How did it go?" my brother asked as he hugged Rosie.

I looked at Rosie, she looked at me. Her stare said it all. Spill your guts and I'll tell them you drank your way through most of their wine collection.
"We had a fabulous time, didn't we Rosie?" I cooed. "She's such a good girl".

My brother remarked on Rosie's expanded waistline.

"Well", I said slowly, "Do you remember years ago when you were on a university break and I asked you to look after your niece (she was 2 as well) because her babysitter was ill and I was desperate? Do you also remember how you fed her lots of ice cream to keep her happy (despite my rules about no animal products) and by the end of the fortnight she was morphing into a baby sumo wrestler?"

"Yes", he laughed, "I needed to keep her happy because I was using her to pick up girls on the beach. Girls would come up and tell me how cute she was and....."

"Great", I said. "Why didn't I think of that? Well Rosie, I'll see you later. The pleasure's been all yours. If we ever get to do it again, I am taking you for walks down Millionaires Row....perhaps someone interesting will think you're cute too."

Rosie taught me that I need to practice saying No more often and meaning it. If my brother asks me to dogsit Rosie again, I will say NO, Michael, in a deep voice, just like him. Better still, I will send him this post and let him see what we really got up to. I am sure he won't ask me again. It's a good job he has a sense of humor as well as a fancy dog.

Tuesday 28 April 2009

Mirror, mirror on the wall

Who is the fairest of them all?

Well if La Prairie had anything to do with it we all would be.

This week I've been doing market research on some high end makeup brands.
Given I was a makeup artist (I don't do much these days) and am still surrounded by enough colour to compete with a Picasso collection, I am finding it particularly fascinating.

La Prairie took my interest today. Not its product range but the gobbledygook it uses on its packaging and advertising.

Is it designed to confuse or give the impression it's science based and therefore trustworthy? More than likely both.
Contains unique whitening complex supported by nano carrier systems. Boosts brighter skin & prevents melanin accumulation. Presence of DNA Repairing Complex to fight against oxidation. Discourages additional pigmentation development. Increases collagen repairing & accelerates cell turnover.
What do all those words mean? How does a cream discourage pigmentation development while wearing it at night? 'Hey there pigment, p*** off out of here'. How does it boost brighter skin? 'Hey skin you are looking awfully pretty today'. And who wants a nano carrier system anywhere near their face unless they are floating around in space?

Now I know after years of wearing makeup and working with it, that in the main, one product is generally as good as another. Estee Lauder, for example, owns 18 other makeup brands. Different companies, different packaging, different price? Similar products? Perhaps. However, regardless of the reality, we continue to buy more and more products with annual makeup sales of hundreds of billions of dollars.

La Prairie is a top end brand. Its cellular whitening eyecare night care cream costs $1084 AUD (38,000 rupees, $733 USD, £552). And you just wear it to bed. For that price I would want to be sleeping with not only it, but Johnny Depp as well.

I think that in our efforts to keep or chase youth we should be mindful that despite the promises, none of these magic potions can turn back the clock. However, I do accept that makeup has a positive psychological effect on many women. Me included. I am just not sure we need to be paying as much as we do to get this kind of fix.

The amount spent on makeup actually skyrockets when the economy spirals.
Given the economy is still in freefall, maybe we can share what products work for us before we rush out and make ourselves 'feel better' with a bit of gloss and sparkle only to be disappointed with the results.

What about you? Do you have any products that work for you that don't cost a fortune? Or alternatively, do you use a product that costs a lot but you feel you get your money's worth? Or could you care less about makeup?
The product I swear by is Rose Hip Oil. I wear it at night and it's more effective than other product I have used. And cheap. A brand product I like a lot is Touche Eclat made by Dior which is great for hiding under eye circles or highlighting etc.

Sunday 26 April 2009

I didn't leave the house

Have you visited Despair.com?

It has a great quote about Blogging - Never before have so many people with so little to say said so much to so few.

I think I am about to do just that.

Yesterday I didn't leave the house because the weather was horrific. However, it ended up being a great Girl's Day In which was surprisingly influenced by bloggers from all over the world. How mad is that, internet peoples?

To avoid saying too much, I was just going to leave you with this visual of my day (I was bored a little ok?), except it occurred to me that those with vivid imaginations and those with little imagination may not 'get it' ..... so the 'too much to say bit' follows for those who need a translation. Jeanne's quiz confirms we either favor our left or right brain so I am catering to both just in case.

I woke up really early, during a dream about Paris (I was reading Caroline's blog the previous day), because my mobile was ringing ...and ringing.

It was a friend from Edinburgh. She was upset. The combination of her sobs and her thick Scottish accent meant I had no hope in hell of understanding a word she said. I hope I ahhed, and ohhed and said there, there in all the right places. I am no longer used to the accent which in times like this, is an issue. Speaking of Scots, go visit Mike Smith's blog, he is such a great and funny writer, even if he does follow the wrong football team (and no hint of an accent!!).

I finally got up and looked out the window to see extreme wind and drizzly rain. Oh.....so I reconsidered my plans for the day over bircher muesli and juice and then entered the blogosphere.

Rhonda, you are hysterical and quite frankly have traumatised me with that image, Ugich that is the best Mother's Day post ever and made me cry, June you are such a clever writer and that is a novel waiting to be published, Linda Lou you are hot and a brilliant writer and is there anything you cannot do and Braja that is a post many people could use and should read right now.

I was due to write a post but I ...well..... There were too many other distractions.

I did some cooking - apple pies and gingerbread sponge cake (recipes courtesy of Barbara) and scones (inspired by Loving Annie).

Then I spent some time sewing some super exotic cushions (a la 1920s). Interior design is a passion of mine. I sorted some DVDs I am sending to Betty in Paraguay (say a prayer for them given the severe drought they are having there), did some painting, sorted some photos, did some housework, put on a face mask, had a manicure and pedicure, made a scrumptious dinner and still had some time to continue reading a great book called Secrets of a Bullet Proof Spirit (if you need help trying to bounce back from life's rollercoaster rides) and do some writing. Of course I also had to have a glass or two of wine because Peggy told me if I stopped drinking I would end up like this (seriously, Peggy is one wise woman - pay her a visit).

Have a great Sunday. Hopefully I get to step out the front door and see what the world holds today. Weather permitting, of course.
I may then have something worthwhile to post ....I know, I know, there is that hysterical Spice Trails cooking class....the knife wounds just need to heal before I think about that though..you understand....
Where would I be without you all on a rainy day though?

Thursday 23 April 2009

How stimulated are you?

It's official, Australia is finally in Recession. The Recession we had to have.

Yes, I know, we aren't very original are we.

All the signs were staring me in the face today. It was strangely ..... quite stimulating.

My daughter rang to say that, "Kev came through for me last night". I told her that some things a mother doesn't really need to hear. She explained that she was referring to the "stimulus payment she got in her bank account overnight". (Kevin is our Prime Minister and the bonus payments are being issued to most tax payers to boost spending and help the economy).

While at the shopping centre I noticed this advertisement in the window of a Peter Alexander store. Unusual marketing concept. Strangely enough, it works for me (what do you except, he has been sleeping around for 20 years - Peter is a bedwear designer and now has stores in the USA).

I bought a pair of shoes. Well a girl has to do her own part to stimulate the economy. The salesperson said, "Now you can choose any handbag in the store". "Excuse me?" I said. "Well", she grinned, "with every pair of shoes you buy, you get a handbag for free. You can choose any bag in the store." Go figure. The bag was more expensive than the shoes. How can they afford to do that? I almost felt guilty....for a second.


Finally, I called by my parent's house and Des was doing some secret sales business on the phone. His side of the conversation went like this.

"I am looking for a new Panasonic DVD player".

"No, sorry, I don't know the model number. I have a catalogue here but I cannot read the number properly because I'm almost blind. And there is no-one here to read it for me. All I know is, it's $499."

"No, I would like to but I can't get into the store because I am crippled. I would have to send my daughter in to pick it up for me. What is the best price you can give me?"

"Oh, that can't be right. Did I hear you right? I'm deaf you know. Surely you can do better than that. I spend a lot of time watching videos as I can't move around much. I'm 82. Watching videos is about as stimulating as it gets at my age".

"Thank you very much that is very kind. Can you put one aside with my name on it and my daughter will come in and pick it up."

He gets off the phone smiling. Bernie Madoff is that you? No he didn’t lie. He cannot walk without help, is very deaf and he is almost blind. Don't feel sorry for him. He knows exactly what angle to work it. After all, he has been working some angle or other all his life and has always managed to get a bargain on everything he buys.

Now I just have to go in and pick up his DVD player ....

And, in the spirit of sharing in these harsh economic times, I am prepared to hire him out to do your buying. His overheads are low. He just needs a comfy chair, a phone and the occasional nip of whisky. And best of all, he is very agreeable.


Have yourself a stimulating day won't you?

Sunday 19 April 2009

This is not the Internet


My friend Sarah (who I am trying to encourage to blog because she is hilarious) is five feet three inches (160cm) tall and and, in her words, "pleasingly plump".

She had a minor accident yesterday while rock climbing (mmm, like we all do that for kicks) and her husband took her to the emergency room.


The nurse asked for her height and weight, and she blurted out, "Five-foot-eight (172cm) and 120 pounds (54k)."

"Sweetheart," her husband said, "this isn't the Internet."Made me laugh. Next time try a cocktail for excitement Sarah and maybe a blog because it's true, we are all beautiful creatures in the blogsphere...with delicious spirits.

The picture (click to enlarge) is of Coolum at the Sunshine Coast where I was over Easter. There were a few rocks...which I didn't climb...but the view was incredible. I will get the rest of the photos together soon.

And, if you are in need of some laughs......it really is the best medicine... check out Frenchman Remi Gaillard. He lost his job in a shoe store and started making these dangerously funny videos instead. You know, the ones where you say, how in the hell could they do that while at the same time laughing out loud.

Friday 17 April 2009

Accidental Heroes


Thanks so very much for your concern about my whereabouts and Rhonda and Peggy's poetry in the last post made me smile.

I had a great, great Easter then came back to the reality of something from the past I have to face which is not worth talking about because we all have bad times in our lives. It's just kept me a little preoccupied over the last few days and will do so for a little while longer.

But you are right, I should get on with it and post something. That's what bloggers do right?

It just might take me a few days to get the dents out of my humor chip is all. Care to help?

Apart from reading a self help book, I've been thinking about all the accidental heroes I have come across in the past few weeks and how inspiring each of them have been to me in their own ways.

Take a look at Larry Llama and Dorothy Duck in the photo (no, I do not know their real names). Two best friends who live near the cooking school I went to on the Sunshine coast over Easter. Larry saved Dorothy from getting eaten by a fox and they have been inseparable ever since. Larry the accidental hero. I gather that even though we made Duck Vindaloo in the cooking class, Larry also protects Dorothy from ending up in the cooking pot too. And no, I couldn't eat any of the duck dish for obvious reasons.

Then there are our fellow bloggers, beautiful Paris, who is bravely starting over after many trials which may have made many others keel over and the brave Braja who has survived an horrific accident and come out the other side seeing the beauty in her life and thankful for all she has. Heroes.

Travelling to the airport I heard on the radio about an American guy called Doug White who was on a small plane travelling in Florida with his family. After a smooth take off and ascent the pilot threw his head back, made a guttural sound and died. Just like that. White, who had his pilot's licence but had not flown for 18 years or so and never a plane of that size, had to land the plane safely with the help of traffic control. An accidental hero. Can you imagine being able to do that when there was no choice but to give it a go?

Then of course there is the story of 47 year old Susan Boyle the Scottish singing sensation who wowed audiences on a British talent show with her incredible voice and a perfect song, I dream the dream. She faced the scoff and derision of others to become her own hero and an accidental one for many others across the world. If you haven't seen the video of her audition then watch it. It's inspirational!

Tell me about any accidental heroes in your life. Who inspires you. Maybe you are your own hero.

I will be posting about my trip away (which was so, so good thanks to my gorgeous Jordan) over the coming week and catching up on your blogs!! Promise!


Monday 13 April 2009

Giveaway 5 - Customised Wooden Jigsaw Puzzle


The Giveaway is now closed. The Winner is MIA (Maria) from the Estonia and she was selected using the random generator from Random.org. Mia asked that the giveaway go to Kreated by Karina.

However, Katey who makes the jigsaws has offered to give both ladies a customised jigsaw. Thanks Katey
. So there are two giveaway winners!!

Thanks to everyone who entered. There is going to be a MEGA Etsy Giveaway to be posted at the end of the week. Thanks to Custom Wooden Jigsaw Puzzles for donating this giveaway to the readers of Lillys Life.

Custom Dog Bandanas & Custom Wooden Jigsaw Puzzles based in Texas, is offering readers of Lilly's Life the chance to win a 5 x 7" intricately hand cut wooden jigsaw puzzle made from one of your own photos. It could be a photo of you, your family, your pet, a wedding, a holiday memory or whatever you would like.

Each puzzle is hand crafted, piece by piece, and no two puzzles ever turn out the same. Each puzzle is cut on 1/4" birch wood to last generations. The video below shows how the jigsaws are made. It's fascinating.


TO ENTER: Leave a comment telling us what photo you would choose to have made into a jigsaw puzzle. Entries close at midnight on 25/5/2009.




For more information check out their Etsy shop or their other website at http://www.ipuzzleu.com/




Note: All images are copyright and are the property of Custom Dog Bandanas & Custom Wooden Jigsaw Puzzles. Lilly's Life blog does not gain financially from these giveaways.


Sunday 12 April 2009

Giveaway 4 - FOUR GORGEOUS Prints from Matou en Peluche


The Giveaway is now closed. The winner of the Matou en Peluche Giveaway as drawn by Random.org is Gabbi from Felina Felice blog. Congratulations.

There will be a huge Etsy Giveaway coming up at the end of the week.

Matou en Peluche is a Sydney (Australia) based Etsy shop.

It features retro deco cards, pastel and charcoal prints and drawings. Truly gorgeous.

The FANTASTIC giveaway is for TWO large prints (8 x12) and TWO small prints (4 x6) OF YOUR CHOICE. And is open to everyone to enter.


TO ENTER: Please go and take a wander through the Matou en Peluche shop and write in your comment which print is your personal favourite. If you win, you will be able to select a further three prints of your choice. Entries close on midnight 25/5/09.

Also, for more fun, check out the Matou en Peluche blog. It's a great blog!







Note: All images are copyright and are the property of Matou en Peluche. Lilly's Life blog does not gain financially from these giveaways.


Saturday 4 April 2009

Run Spot Run or Debbie does Dallas

My teacher sister was telling me about her week teaching English to children whose families have moved to Australia either as refugees, migrants or immigrants.

She had previously told me about nine year old Ivan from Russia who doesn't understand a word of English and appears to be struggling with the learning program.

Yesterday she discovered that an international language does exist and that Ivan may know a little more than he is letting on.

While her back was turned helping another student, Ivan was showing a willingness to explore the language on his own.

She found him at the computer typing the word Porn into Google.

Of course he was out of luck.

Ivan clearly wasn't aware that schools here don't allow students to have access to Google's extensive education curriculum on certain subjects. I know, imagine the damn Aussie education system blocking children's rights to learn in this day and age.

When I learnt to read I was given something similar to Dick and Jane books (truth is, I do not remember that long ago),

"This is Dick”
"This is Jane"
"See Spot and Puff in a little play"
I guess Ivan was looking for the Advanced English course more suited to his visual, as opposed auditory, learning style.

When I think about it, there are a great number of similarities between porn and first readers, like Dick and Jane.

Simple, repetitive sentences, colourful illustrations, designed to encourage you to fill in the plot lines and presenting a world that is more ideal than true-to-life.

Somehow, I think Ivan will pick up English in no time, don't you?


Note: Image of boy from gfn.

Wednesday 1 April 2009

Fools rush in

At this time last year I was right in the middle of a Martha Stewart moment and making lots of Easter Eggs.

So very foolish. Mainly because the eggs were solid chocolate and could have realistically fed a small country. By the time Easter rolled (figuratively speaking) around, I never wanted to look at another piece of chocolate again. In fact the egg like shape of my backside was all the evidence I needed to realise that nil by mouth was not only the best medicine, it was the only solution. I had taken taste testing to extremes.

At the start of 2009 I was morphing out of my Martha phase and into my Gwynneth macrobiotic phase, which saw me avoiding sugar altogether.

Those of you who have been following my blog will know that going cold turkey contributed to my questionable decision to swear at a police officer. As funny as it was, it wasn't my finest hour.
I still create sweet things (which can sometimes be found on my side blog Inspiration) but I now choose to over feed other people instead of myself. Just call me McLilly - choices, surprises and something for your inner child (McDonalds actually use those very words bizarrely). I think it's really called self preservation at other people's expense.
So this Easter I have no desire to bring Martha out of her hiding place in the back of my cupboard. She has already proven she can easily handle being in a small dark space with time to kill. However, just so I don't get accused of being an Easter scrooge, I made these chocolate flowers today with no hint of a rabbit, egg or pieces of psychedelic foil in sight.
Next week I'm heading north to visit my daughter for Easter.

Unfortunately, as you can see, she lives in a really ordinary part of the country. I guess I will just have to deal with the sun, surf and sand, grit my teeth and get on with it. The things you do for your children, I tell you.



Jordan is a doer and not as laid back as her mother. She has booked us into a cooking class at a place called Spirit House on the Sunshine Coast. It looks posh.
We will be learning how to use Asian spices. The only consideration for me, albeit a rather large consideration, is the actual cooking bit. Duck Vindaloo, Sri Lankan Seafood Curry, Beef Massaman, Zucchini & Green Capsicum Sabji with delicious side dishes like pickled vegetables, tomato & cucumber sambal. Are the dishes an optional extra I wonder or are the spices good to go on their own? I am a way better taste tester than cook. This could prove interesting.

The Chef apparently worked for Hollywood stars (now is it just me or is that a stupid thing to admit to given most stars are anorexic and clearly starving?). I know she worked for Tom and Nicole and curiosity is bound to get the better of me. I more than likely will throw a question or two her way about spicy subjects other than those we are there for.

Last time my daughter and I were together we got stuck in Thailand due to civil unrest. That's why we usually only see each other once in a while as one of us is now totally risk adverse. You can guess which one.

So if you hear reports of a beached whale, a woman taken by a shark, a cooking school ruined by fire or someone who is stuck on a roller coaster, you won't have to think too hard to guess who it is. And if you are still not sure, look for a girl disguised in a wig and glasses. My daughter always comes prepared for embarrassing Mother moments (and no, I can't imagine why she has so many different disguises you will need to ask her....thank God she is over her purple phase, I wonder what her hair colour will be this time round).

For those of you who celebrate Easter, what do you have planned?
And for those of you who don't, just be thankful because if you did you would be a few pounds/kilos heavier afterwards.