Blogg-ing is a many splendored thing

. I am:
Laugh-ing - at the guy I walked past in the shopping mall yesterday who said to his friend, "I was so humiliated, it was like someone putting a firecracker up my ass, so I finally had to do it!" I was left wondering what he had to do exactly.

Read-ing: The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls. This is an amazing story of growing up and surviving in a disfunctional family. I'm nearly finished - just need a little more time on the couch.

Cry-ing - because my blogroll just disappeared into thin air without warning..... now where do I begin....I like using the blogroll not the follower reader to catch up on blogs...

Eat-ing - some home grown plums, peaches, apricots and vegetables. Why do they taste so different from those I buy at the markets. Interesting reading about food democracy and the slow food movement here.

Pity-ing - the rich Wall Street widows who have formed a support group called Dating a Banker Anonymous, to help women cope with the inevitable relationship fallout on Wall Street from the global financial crisis. Haven't they ever heard of 'for richer or poorer' - I am sure they can sell their jewellery if times get too tough.

Listen-ing - to Roseanne Barr and her partner Johnny Argent's LA KPFK radio show Beneath the Surface. I love the down to earth politics, the interesting guests and the discussion on world issues like Pakistan, Israel, Russia and China. Yes, really.

Lov-ing - playing around with the Advertising Slogan Generator . Useful if you are looking for post titles. Like, Four out of Five Dentists recommend Lilly's Life, They drink Lilly's Life in the Congo. Nothin' says lovin' like Lilly's Life straight from the oven -didn't say they were good just fun.

Tak-ing it to the sweet - a cupcake art installation in Seattle reminds us of the simple things.

Wish-ing - a Happy Birthday to the most beautiful girl in the world! I won't mention the fact you looked up the phone book to find a medical clinic last week because you had the flu, rang the first one you found and then spent the next ten minutes trying to book an appointment ..........at a psychiatric clinic. No, of course I would never mention that. You are new in the city. However, I may mention it when I'm doing my next Message from your Mother post...have a cocktail for me!

Question-ing - the relevance of Google Earth again, even though Google has said that it is not stalking people or helping terrorists. Perhaps others are using the tool to do just that though. India is investigating the circumstances surrounding November's deadly attack on Mumbai and how Google Earth was used in the planning. Now I know the reason my blogroll disappeared....

Plann-ing - to write a lot of my February posts about LOVE. Love is in the Air. Love is Bliss, Love is Blind, Love is Everything, Love Hurts, Love is all we need, Love is a Battlefield, Love makes the world go round...so whether you are in love, out of love or never been in love, there will be something for everyone!

Watch-ing - Breakfast at Tiffanys - Gran's movie posts made me realise that there are so many classics I haven't watched. So, I'm armed with a list and working my way through them.

Hop-ing you all have a great weekend and, I'm also

Wonder-ing, if any of you know someone who designs blogs, as I'm wanting a whole new look!

Ruby Red nearly does my head!

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Take one Ruby with ideas of grandeur, one Lilly suffering heat exhaustion, one Aussie Giveaway and six hundred and seventy four entries and what have you got?

A production that is worthy of a Baz Luhrmann extravaganza minus the big budget, Nicole Kidman and an enviable wardrobe.

My big thought for today was how to draw January's Giveaway winner? After all, everyone is getting so hi-tech these days. Take a look at Nikkicrumpet with her ingenious Crumpet Strumpet Wheel.

What was I to do?

I consulted the neighbourhood guru, five year old Ruby.

Yes, I am on speaking terms with her again after she insulted me months ago by asking me if I was normal (you can read it here if you need the background).
Ruby felt that a Giveaway of this magnitude deserved some careful thought. She held the belief that we should slowly whittle down the entries until a winner was selected.

She announced some big plans including outdoor locations and some outlandish ideas for on set catering involving frosting and sprinkles. I was in no fit state to argue. I needed all the direction she was willing to give.

First, we had to cut up the entries into neat strips. Well there was less of the we, and more Ruby than me. Did you know that children who are musical do damn fine work with a pair of scissors? There's a rhythm to using scissors, a coordination of the fine motor skills, the thumb and pointing finger, working together, yet separately. I just lay on the couch watching her work.

Gotta love a girl who likes to cut out tiny pieces of paper for hours on end! She was a little disturbed by some of your names though. "Why would their mummy and daddy call them such funny names?" "That's easy, Ruby", I replied, "they arent normal." She understood.

I eventually got off the couch to attend to the catering demands of the little Director. Cupcakes. In pastels.

After we finished 'cutting', we put all the names in Des' Aussie hat and asked him to do the honours of drawing out 30 names. Now I don't want to hear any complaints about favouritism because as Des says, he is nearly blind. Couldn't see a thing. Besides, he was a bit upset that he didn't draw out Barbara and Ugich and he wanted a redraw. Ruby pulled him into line. It's so hard to get good help these days.

The 30 entrants who progressed to the second stage drawing were -Peggy, Queenie Jeanie, Matt, Dee from Downunder, Yellowdog Granny, Eric S, Alyson (New England Living), Wheres My Angels, Sandi, Robin Easton, Shelia, Saundra, Mike Smith, For Myself, Joanie, Surharita Sarka, McAllen, Teri, CarmenSinCity, Christine, Judy, Darsden, Rocksnowhite, Julie, Braja, Mmm, Tashabud, June, Riyan and Simplicity.

Ruby then demanded in no uncertain terms that the names be laminated before we moved on. She had some serious ideas and was dreaming up some rugged outdoor pursuits to find a worthy winner. This girl has been watching some serious reality television.

It was at this point that I found out that musically gifted children aren't so clever at laminating. She kind of lost it when the laminating machine tried to eat the entries. She spat the dummy, I got the blame and she demanded a cupcake break. "Right Ruby, you little one trick pony - off you go and leave me in the lurch. I know you will be back when you see it all taking shape", said I as she stormed off. What was a girl to do but keep going......even when the Director walked off in a huff to stuff her face with pink confection.

Next, the production moved outdoors to the sands, for the sand gropers leg of the contest. I buried the 30 chosen ones in the wet sand pie that Ruby had made. All the time wondering how my life had come to this. I too used to like mud pies....... when I was five. Ruby finally got her act together after a hit of sugar and came back in time to unearth 20 of you from the soggy sand.

The 20 she unearthed to make it to the next leg of the contest were, Queenie Jeanie, Matt, Yellowdog Granny, Eric S, Alyson (New England Living), Wheres My Angels, Robin Easton, Shelia, Saundra, Mike Smith, Joanie, Surharita Sarka, McAllen, Teri, Judy, Rocksnowhite, Julie, Mmm, Tashabud and Joanie.The third leg of the contest involved water. This was the most fun as today was sweltering! Entrants had to swim from one end of the pond to the next. The first five that made it to the finish line progressed to the final leg of the competition. I have to say that Eric S and Sucharita Sarkar sank straight away so I am not sure if you guys are really into water sports.

There was a bit of intense tusseling to get to the front but the first to finish were Matt, Rocksnowhite, Robin Easton, Yellowdog Granny and Mike Smith. Two Texans, one New Mexican, one Scotsman, and one Romanian. And my question is, where were the Aussies?? Yes, don't tell me, too much Pavlova on Australia Day, because you all faltered at the first leg of the contest.

The final five then moved to the most difficult test of all. A test that provided an unbelievably sticky and somewhat heated finish. A test that would see one winner rise to the top in triumph.

The final five were cooked in a traditional Aussie damper.

When the damper was cooked and broken open, the first competitor found was declared the winner. (This should not be attempted at home. And even though Ruby protested, and chucked another dummy spit, this time with tears and flaying arms and legs, the damper has to be thrown away afterwards).

After a huge effort, and after having to face unparalleled challenges, the WINNER of the Giveaway is.................

Rocksnowhite from Romania (email me at lilly@lillyslife.com with an address so I can send you your prize ).

Here is what you win Rocksnowhite.

Pack includes: Emily Kame Kngwarreye black bag (aboriginal artist), Aussie slang tea towel (slang words and their meanings), Aboriginal boomerang magnet, aboriginal art postcard, Waltzing Matilda bookmark, Steve Parish Wild Australia note pad, red leather kangaroo keyring, BBQ Aussie apron, No flies on Me Australia t-shirt, Aussie Homesick Pack containing a recipe card for pavlova, Australian tea bag, gum leaves, koala sticker, vegemite sample. Australian flag. All products come from Australia's National Museum.
Thanks Ruby, you little treasure. You are a genius even if a temperamental one at times. You creative types are all the same! The cheque is in the mail and you can take the cupcakes home with you. When Mummy asks you what you've been doing just tell her you're going to be Australia's next Nicole Kidman. Without all that botox of course!

And so the Australian journey continues on...

For Ruth

Humans are strange creatures. We often like to hide our history, bury our mistakes, pretend we are right and put on a happy face that often masks reality. The more honest we are about the journey we have taken and the lessons learnt, the freer we are, always. We don’t have to cover our tracks, fudge the truth, fear the past or rewrite history. We can move forward. With a clear conscience and a willingness to learn from mistakes and make amends where we need.

Australia has always been described as being a young country, raw, fresh, and unblemished. The truth is, our country is old. And when I say old, I am talking ancient.

When you cross Australia from end to end you will travel through a landscape that is 120 million years old. You will see some of the oldest flora and fauna in the world. Deserts in the interior, hills and mountains, tropical rainforests, densely-populated coastal strips with long beaches and coral reefs off the shoreline.

While the English only colonised Australia 220 years ago, our Indigenous Australians, who have the oldest continuing culture in the world, have lived here for up to 65,000 years. Like every other country which has been colonised or invaded, indigenous people often end up lying on the fringes of society and are sometimes deprived of their cultural rights due to dispossession and displacement from their land.

It is a part of our history that didn’t feature very strongly in my school education. My 'real' outback education came some years ago when I visited the top of Australia with an Aboriginal friend. The memories of the remoteness, the red earth and the Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islanders living in a twilight zone between two cultures will stay with me forever. The issues are complex and not easily solved but the stories, the friendships and the empathy I experienced will forever remain.

As we know, when you have suffered great loss or when you have been abused, trodden on, or stolen from, there is an enormous need to have your story validated. To be heard. Listened to. For the truth to be told and sympathy and understanding to be given. When you cannot get closure or justice, the fight continues. For a cause that sometimes gets lost over time.

Often, all someone is looking for is an acknowledgement that yes, they were wronged, yes, they suffered, yes, mistakes were made, yes, there is genuine sorrow for making those mistakes and yes, amends will be made.

Nearly 12 months ago, our new Prime Minister publicly apologised to our Indigenous Australians for the treatment they had received since 1788. Aborigines were shot like wild animals, half the populaton was destroyed by diseases bought in by settlers, they had their lands taken over by pastoralists, they had their children ripped away from them because governments felt that non indigenous Australians would give them better lives and they didn’t even have full voting rights until the 1960s.

I hope all fellow Australians use this Australia Day to celebrate our long history and to reflect on the important part Indigenous Australians have and continue to play in developing our rich and vibrant culture. Happy Australia Day!

and Happy Republic Day India! and Happy Burns Days, Scotland! and Happy Chinese New Year!

Lilly's Extras - for those readers who sent in specific questions over the last week.
As this is the last post of my Australia series, here are replies to questions readers sent to me. Thanks.

• Australians are now the second-longest-living people on earth, (although our indigenous population continues to die at least 17 years earlier). Australia’s life expectancy is only bettered by the Japanese.


• Modern Australian cuisines have been heavily influenced by its Asian and South-East Asian neighbours and from Europe. Australia's wide variety of seafood is also popular and BBQs are common.
  
• Four of Australia's cities are in the top ten most livable cities in the world index -Sydney, Melbourne, Adelaide and Perth. Vancouver, Canada seems to top the quality of living list.


• We do not tip here (other than perhaps in restaurants where service was good).


• The cost of living in Australia is considerably lower than in Europe, the US, Japan and especially the UK.


• We use decimal currency. We only have 5 cent, 10 cent, 20 cent, 50 cent, $1 and $2 coins. Our paper currency includes $5, $10, $20, $50 and $100 notes/bills. Each bill is a different colour.


• We use metric weights and measures (as does every other country besides the US, Libya and Burma). When we talk about distances by road we talk in kilometres, not miles. When we fill up at the petrol/gas station we pay by the litre, not the gallon. We are measured in centimetres or metres, not feet and inches. And we weigh ourselves in kilograms, not pounds and our scales are always out (just like everywhere else!).


• We use the Celsius scale, not Fahrenheit. When it's a really hot day it might be 38 degrees - which is about the same as the Fahrenheit "century".


• We use the English spelling system so we spell words differently from Americans.


• Australian law now bans private ownership of all semi-automatic rifles, semi-automatic shotguns and pump-action shotguns.

Top Image: Brandon Walters, 11, was hand-picked by director Baz Luhrmann to play a young Aboriginal horseman in the film Australia

My Australian Odyssey continued

One of the 50 million bloggers from the biggest continent on earth wrote to me to tell me that Australians are "rather greedy".

Why?

Australia is the only nation to occupy an entire continent (the sixth biggest continent) and there are only 21 million of us. Therefore, we apparently have "too much space and too much of everything."

Fine, I get his point but what did he want me to do about it? Grab a chainsaw, carve up the island and send him his fair share in the mail? Better still, why doesn't he just hop on a plane and see for himself. It's the only way he is going to get any of whatever it is he thinks we have too much of. The only thing we have too much of are Chinese imports. So just to prove how generous I am, I would be happy to return them all with my love.

Anyway, its true, we do have lots of space but we are also the driest continent on earth and there are parts of Australia that are uninhabitable. We tend to live around the coast line (85% of Australians live within 30 mintues of the beach) which makes us one of the more urbanised countries in the world. We have relied on immigration to round out our numbers for a long time and 25% of our population comes from 140 countries. In the longer term, migration may decrease depending on the impact of global warming.

Apart from our accent, you can't really identify us as Australians. We don't have a certain look and we don't have a national costume. There are certain items of clothing which are part of the Australian stereotypical character but not everyone is a sheep shearer (blue singlet), crocodile hunter (khaki). stockman (moleskins, Akubra hat and Drizabone coat) or a lifesaver (speedos).

We get our children the same way you do. The stork delivers them. First time mothers are getting older with the average age around 31 and fathers 33. The birth rate is falling and we are losing our virginity at younger ages according to the loss of virginity world map (you never knew there was one I bet). I do need to point out that there is a certain trend on this map which indicates that kids in cold countries need to keep their hands busier by knitting ugg boots or something. I am just throwing it out there ...I see a lot of snow on your blogs...

There are around 106 males born to every 100 females. Our most popular names are Jack for boys and Emily, Isabella and Charlotte for girls. The average number of children in each family is 1.86 so you can find a lot of under developed people walking around if you look closely enough.

At various times the Government has enticed us to have more children, with rhetoric such as, have one for you, one for your partner and one for your country. Very patriotic. I didn’t drink the Kool Aid and I only had 'the one'. I like to get it right the first time. Why take any chances?

Around 60% of mothers work in paid employment. Child care presents many issues. Some parents try and bypass childcare worries by using accelerated learning programs, like the Wiggles, to springboard their toddlers straight into university. And the Wiggles are what happens to our good Australian middle aged men, folks. They run round in coloured skivvies, singing children's songs, travelling the world and earning billions.

I went back to work when my daughter was six months old. Other than the pethidine addicted babysitter and the one who locked her in a room, all was well. I wouldn’t do it again though. There is a reason my daughter entered the legal field I'm sure. I have tried to rewrite her childcare history to block out some less than savory memories and I try to ignore any official looking mail she sends me. Does my guilt show, even now?

Australia was the second country to New Zealand, to give women the right to vote. And while men may have regretted that decision ever since, things keep improving on the equality front. Like everywhere, there are still imbalances, but women now raise far more hell and far fewer pansies. And that inpenetrable glass ceiling has a hell of a lot more stiletto marks than I ever thought possible.

However, some things move slowly. For some absurd reason we are not a Republic. We are a constitutional monarchy tied to the apron strings of Britain and the Queen. I find it embarrassing. We have a Prime Minister who is our head of Government. His name is Kevin Rudd and we would call him Kevin if we passed him in the street. He also speaks fluent Chinese which may come in handy when China dominates the world.

It is compulsory for us to vote in government elections. If we don’t, we can be fined. We start voting at 18. The majority of us leave high school around 18 (before going to university or to work). We can legally start drinking alcohol at 18 and we also celebrate our coming of age with big 18th birthday parties. Therefore, being 18 can be problematic, especially for parents.

We can get our drivers licence at 17. That’s if Des didn’t teach you to drive. My first lesson with him was reversing up a hill and it was all backwards from that point on. We drive on the left hand side of the road unless we’ve been drinking which of course is illegal. Our cars are built with the steering wheel and other controls on the right-hand side. Regardless, men are still hopeless back seat drivers and have absolutely no sense of direction for which we women carry all the blame..

It would take us 45.37 hours (and one of those nappies that astronauts wear) to drive from one side of the country to the other (without breaks). Or six hours by plane. So don’t plan any short trips to Australia as it’s too big to see. Maybe that’s why we get a minimum of four weeks holiday every year plus another 10 public holidays. If we only had two weeks leave, the holiday would be over before we arrived at our destination.

And, because Australia's too damn big to cover in one topic, Part 2 will be posted in the next couple of days. Phew, and if you got through all of that, you will get two entries in the Secret Aussie Giveaway which will be drawn on the 26th (no, the giveaway is not going to be an airline ticket but I can't guarantee that it won't be made in China!!)

Message from your Mother

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Message from your Mother is a series of letters written by Lilly to her daughter. They are often written in the kind of irrational way that sometimes comes naturally to mothers when communicating with their children (no matter how old they happen to be). You will always find a hidden message if you look hard enough.



Hey there,

I've got some news.

And I hope you're sitting down.

It seems I've led you astray.

Yet again.

This time it's about your eye colour. And my eye colour.

Apparently, there is no such thing as a 'green eyed girl'.

Even Cold Play got it wrong.

Who'd have thought that I could be so misled?

We don't have green eyes. There is no such thing.

I took a picture this morning to show you. My eyes are not green, they are a shade you have not even heard of. They're Mixed.

By the way, if you're wondering if I've suddenly developed Michael Jackson's skin condition, that stuff on my face is a mask - I'm multi-tasking.

It's actually the Extra Extra Extra firming mask that some little witch at the makeup counter strongly suggested I was desperately in need of. All I can say is my face does look firmer but you can only see the benefits when the mask has dried like concrete and you can't move a muscle. Once it's off, my skin goes back to its usual pliable state. I guess fleeting beauty, even if it comes wrapped in clay, is all I can hope for at this point.

Anyway, back to our eyes.

I went to an iridologist.

You know those gurus who look into your eyes and identify any signs of disease. She stared into my eyes for what seemed like ages. It was extremely disconcerting. After a few umms and ahhs, she said, "Ah biliary, how interesting."

"Oh God," I cried, "tell me that's not some new age disease and it's just French for green eyes".

She laughed, just as you'd expect a blue eyed person to do in such circumstances. "That's the term we give to mixed eyes", she said. "Green irises don't really exist as the green appearance of the iris is usually due to discolouration or yellow patches in a blue iris. There are only blue or brown irises."

"Oh, I see" I said, looking decidedly dejected.

"Is that because RNA can function as both a gene and an enzyme, and RNA comes before DNA and protein and acted as the ancestral molecule of life?" Well OK, you know I didn't say that but I would have said something equally as smart if I hadn't been so shocked.

All I could manage was, "Are you out of your mind? What do you mean there are no green eyes? It's like being told very late in life that you're adopted. Suddenly everything you know to be true, no longer is."

So, as strange as it may seem, our eyes are what's called in the trade, as MIXED. Not blue, not brown. Not one thing or the other. We are a no frills, no name brand. Or in Obama's words, we are muts.

It makes sense. What colour do you get when you mix blue and yellow? Yes, green.

We are a minority. Only two percent of the world's population has green eyes. As an aside, if you ever feel the need to reach out for support, apparently Hungary has the highest percentage of green eyed people in the world.

Not many people realise this but green eyed owners are treated like second class citizens at times. I've known this for a while given I've painted makeup on people's faces for magazines and film. Media discriminates against green eyes in highly deceitful ways. Did you know that green eyed models and Hollywood stars get their eyes photo shopped to blue when they appear in magazines? Take a look some time. Kate Hudson has green eyes, as does Christina Applegate and a whole load of other stars, so why are they always blue in magazines?

Anyway, the iridologist told me some interesting things about eye colour and health in case you ever need a conversation starter at your book club. (Mmmm, while we are on that subject, I noticed that you've named your new club, Beer, Bites and Books. It's not exactly like the Jane Austin Book Club I had imagined ........)

Now I have been enlightened I think I'll tell people that I have mixed green eyes. It sounds exotic. In fact, the more I think of it, now is the right time to be mixed wouldnt you say? I can feel the change coming.

One day soon, we might even get our green irises acknowledged on the iridology chart and on magazine covers. We might even get to be on an equal footing to our blue and brown eyed brothers and sisters instead of having to decide if we are more like one or the other.

Perhaps I might even start wearing those green contact lenses again. You know, the ones that make me look like I'm from Mars and which cause people to stop, stare and point.

I think the world is so ready to formally acknowledge green irises! Mixed as they may be. Don't you?

Your Mother

And on that note, I encourage you all to read a really beautiful post, called I have a Dream, at Sandi's blog. It's about her beautiful mixed family of 14 children.


Tell me, what colour are your eyes?

If you don't go ahhhh over this

you're not the person I thought you were.


To make up for the horrid spider picture, I thought I would post something more savory. In this installment of CBS News Assignment America, Steve Hartman visits an animal sanctuary where a dog and an elephant have formed a very lasting, and unusual, friendship.

For those who haven't seen the Christian the Lion Cub video, click here. Be prepared to shed a tear.

Have you ever heard of or seen any unusual animal friendships such as this?
PS: Another Australian blog I can recommend is Middle Aged Ramblings. Peggy, from Sydney, is an inspirational and gifted writer and she has some wonderful scrap blogs and a great music selection on her blog.

Stop hogging the headlines Apple, it's my turn

Reality sometimes has a habit of giving you a hard cold slap in the face.

Yesterday, I was laughing at Saundra because she was feeling old (she's but a baby) because her new doctor appeared to be fresh out of kindergarten. I’m with her. The accelerated learning fad, favoured by education systems the world over, has gone too far!

Anyway, I wasn't laughing today. I received two gifts in the mail.

Australia Post guarantees it always delivers and it does.

I just wish it was like other government agencies and never kept its promises.

First, was a letter from the Health Department. This is my plain English version of the letter.

Dear Madam,

We are writing to tell you that you are officially old.

Therefore, because we feel extremely sorry for you, please accept our gift of a MENOPAUSE KIT.

Apparently, Unfortunately, Regrettably, you are now in the age group where you may experience some rather uncomfortable symptoms that go along with Menopause. These symptoms can continue for up to ten years before you officially go through 'the change' and hopefully come out the other side in one piece (the Kit doesn't tell you where you end up though...Italy via Mumbai maybe?)

Knowledge is power and there is no better knowledge than to know for sure that you have not developed a psychotic personality disorder but that you are merely in the midst of Peri-menopause.

Enjoy it with our pleasure!

I see, so do they really think that symptoms such as thinning hair, feeling like a furnace, sexual problems, sleeping problems, taking a peculiar interest in sharp surfaces when thinking about people that piss you off, sweating in your sleep like you have run a marathon and having more hair on your chin than on your head are going to go unnoticed? And not only that, but now they have explained the symptoms, they expect me to enjoy it when I finally succumb? Its like waiting for the bullet to hit.

Well, dear Government, thanks for your unsolicited concern about my advancing years but you are too flipping slow. I've had a morbid fascination with sharp objects for a while now! However, your gift is not wasted. I am regifting it to my family. They need to read the facts, not me. This way, the next time I turn into a screaming banshee, they will show me greater empathy and understanding. And keep their distance if I happen to be wielding something sharp!

My second gift is from my friend Sue. She lives in London.

We are competitive on the gift giving front. We aim for the weirdest gifts we can find.

I found her Christmas gift, called a Nose Up, while I was in Thailand. We both joke incessantly about wanting nose jobs. The packaging on the product says, In order to make your nose smaller, clearer, more beautiful and full of happiness, this product is necessary for your nose. Hard to resist a product that makes your nose happy.

However, her gift was incredible. Incredibly horrid.

It came with this note, Do you remember how I loved dissecting frogs in biology class and you used to hide under the desk screaming and holding your Save our Amphibian Friends sign? Here is your very own knitted frog dissection. All the organs are in place for your dissecting pleasure. Perfect.


She inhabits a curiously dark world this woman. Which I totally love.

She definitely won this round. Just wait...she has a birthday coming up...and...

And on other matters....

Even though my blogging friend Matt is going to win this, if you too want a job which pays over $100,000 USD to live for six months on an Australian island then read Matt's post.

Thanks to my blogging friend Eric from Ruminations of a Small Town Mountain Boy for nominating me for a Bloggers Award. What is it you want, Eric? A knitted frog? It's yours.

The image at the top of this post is my Batik painting - I took a class in Thailand. The instructor spoke no English and I spoke no Thai. We smiled a lot.

And I have just visited Braja's blog and she has also a post on Menopause. An excellent read.

Hey True Blue!

Someone asked me how I would describe Australia's national identity. It's a tough question given there are 21 million people living here and 21 million different identities.

I wouldn't have been able to answer this question if I hadn't lived in other countries. Sometimes, being away gives you a better perspective about what your homeland represents.


Bibi from Bibi has the last word and Simplicity from Chasing Wentworth Miller gave me this Honest Scrap Award and when I saw this picture, it actually reminded me of how I would describe the Australian spirit. So, in answer to your question Sarah, I would say - unpretentious, self depreciating, funny, tough, classless, colourful, down to earth, hard working, genuine, devoid of excessive displays, understated but still in need of some repair work to the collective spirit on some issues.

Anyway, according to the rules of this Award, I am meant to share ten true things about me (as opposed to Australia). Now, if you want the really juicy stuff you will have to bribe me first -

1. I consider myself to be worldly and open minded but I'm still a prude to some. This first became clear to me when I was just out of my teens and in London. A girl I met had invited me out with two guys who had bought some of her art. One was from Panama and the other was American (the speech writer for an ex US President). Somehow, after dinner, I found my wide eyed, faux-sophisticated self at a swingers party. I am sure the pictures are on the web somewhere. I am the only one who is fully dressed, clutching her purse and crying for her mother. I can tell you, my education at a convent school in my formative years was sorely lacking.

2. As a child I was convinced I was going to be a nun and have a clear path to eternal life. I was going to be Sr Angelica Therese Mary Francis Anastasia (give me a break I was a kid). My dreams all turned sour when I went to high school, discovered cute boys and that same path is now heavily littered with debris. However, the person I still most admire in the world is a nun.
3. I really dislike cats. I like dogs. I've never picked up a cat, let alone patted one or whispered sweet nothings in its ear. My potential cat loving days were ruined when I was four and we happened to be at a Chinese Restaurant when someone jokingly said something they shouldn't have...

4. Food has to have a certain crunch factor to get my attention. Raw vegetables rather than cooked ones. Unripe fruit over too ripe fruit. Toast rather than bread. Hard centres rather than soft centres. Well done meat instead of rare. Lettuce with everything. And sauces with nothing. I've been known to make Executive Chefs cry. Just because I like simple food. Slow food. No fluff. Except that is, when I cook it for others. Then I am like Nigella Lawson on smack. Over the top and over done. A walking contradiction.

5. I am an introvert. Even though personality profiles, Myers Briggs tests (ENTJ) and my friends say otherwise. It's just that I have always been in positions which require an outgoing personality. I recall when my daughter was eight I was distressed about having to speak to a group of 150 people. She offered to do it for me. She regards public speaking as easy. I regard the thought of death as easier.

6. I prefer non fiction to fiction. I celebrate the fact we each have a story to tell. Our own. Those around us are part of our story but we alone are the authors. We may not always choose how our story unfolds, but our character is ours, we choose how prominent we let the secondary characters become and how and to whom we tell our story.

7. I am happiest creating something. Anything. I see everything in colour. In auras, makeup, decorating, fashion, painting, writing, nature, whatever. It's a beautiful world as long as it's colour co-ordinated...it's an illness....I tell you.

8. I use Australian slang. Had I not gone overseas to live and had it not been repeatedly pointed out to me that I used strange words, I would have argued that I never use Aussie slang. These are some of the expressions that slip into my conversation - she'll be right, mate, Fair Dinkum, no worries, bloke, chook, fair go, G'day, shonky, whinger, struth. Check here if you want to find out what they mean.

I'm also too verbose which you already know but I have to tell you this story. I was in New York at an Irish bar. The barman said, "what can I get you Mike?" The first time I ignored him. Then he was Mike this and Mike that. I finally said "why are you calling me Mike?" Apparently his favourite film was Crocodile Dundee and every time they said mate he thought they were saying mike. Then a guy tried to pick me up because he thought I looked like Olivia Newton John (female, blonde and Australian and there the similarity ends). While I was flattered, it was the impetus I needed to give up wearing spandex and headbands (think back to Lets Get Physical if you need a visual reminder).

9. I think there is a skeleton in my family tree. Rather than having German and British heritage, I believe there is an Italian hiding there somewhere. Italy is the place I feel most comfortable (of the places I have visited) other than in Australia. It's my dream to live in southern Italy for a year or two before I die. If I can't do that then it's New York again for completely different reasons unless someone has a better offer.

10. When I doodle I only draw musical treble and bass clefs and flowers. Nothing else. Who knows why?

I am not going to pass on the award to anyone else but feel free to post something similar if you wish. Honesty is the best policy. After all, my favourite person, Sr Clare, told me so and while she may have misguided me on a few things, I do know that some things she said were definitely fair dinkum.


I would like to tell you about two Aussie blogs owned by June Saville. You will find lots of Aussie stories there - 70 plus and still kicking and Journeys in Creative Writing the latter features June's wonderful Aussie mystery novel, Paternity.

Get a grip or I’m going to throw a googly

Australia Day, our national day, is on the 26th January so for the next few weeks I am going to feature some posts focusing on the Australian way of life. If you have any questions about Australia, let me know.

Australia has been in the international press in recent weeks with headlines like:

The end of an era

The crumbling of an empire

The last rites, and

A test of faith in land of tragics.

Sounds serious.

And yes, it really was.

Except, it had nothing to do with the media waxing lyrical about the end of the world as we know it. And everything to do with the lackluster performance of our National Cricket Team.

You see Australia was just one loss away from giving up its official number one ranking to South Africa following a series loss for the first time.

It was not only a near national calamity but it had all the earmarks of being a terminal catastrophe.

For those of you who don’t have a clue what cricket is, it’s a summer sport. A game. With bats and balls. Look here if you happen to be bored, lonely, have a penchant for watching grass grow or come equipped with a Y chromosome.

This series of games saw men weeping into their beers, with one hand on their hearts and the other making all sorts of strange sign language at the TV. They could taste defeat and rather than wait it out many chose to dive deep in the throes of an early mourning. So much so, that I half expected to see them parading around in unadorned black clothing before the series was even over.

For many Aussie blokes their world stopped for a few days. Simply because they couldn't take their eyes off the TV screen or their mind off the pending national humiliation.

It was painful and pitiful to observe. In fact, it was more than that.
It was P - A - T - H - E - T - I - C! At one point I had the idea of setting up some kind of intravenous beer contraption to save the poor souls from having to lift a can, bottle or glass to their mouths. I figured that they needed all their strength to cope with the grieving period which was soon to follow. All loss is painful. Even if it does happen to involve grieving over a game of bat and ball!!!

Australians, on the whole, are sports mad. It comes with the wide open spaces and the warm weather. And cricket is just one of the many sports we are obsessed with. We are joined in our cricket obsession by people living in England, New Zealand, Sri Lanka, Bangladesh, India, Pakistan, South Africa and the West Indies. Ugich Konitari , a wonderful blogger, has written many fantastic posts about cricket in India.

As long ago as 1859 an English guidebook to Australia reported that "the mania for bats and balls in the broiling sun … exceeds all rational excitements". And it’s still the case.

For me, the most taxing part of cricket is trying to understand the meaning of the 300 or so ridiculous terms which describe the game. If you read them you would swear the game was played by maidens who wore slips, had a handicap and who possessed both a short and long leg.
Thankfully........just the taste of defeat was enough to unite the nation.

It seems that the collective chest thumping, screaming at the TV and all round general moaning must have rallied the team. Right at the last minute. To win the final game of the series. By a hair's breadth.

It's said that in times of economic uncertainty, we can count on two certainties. People seek greater solace in their sport and the sales of lipstick increases substantially.

Given the Aussies in my life seem to already play, watch and talk sport 24/7, it's not going to get any better is it? I guess this just means that during the long days of winter sports, followed by the even longer days of summer sports, I may just have to disappear every now and then to buy myself a new shade of lipstick.

So tell me does sport have much meaning in your life or to those close around you? How do you cope?


Some Aussie blogs to visit are Dee from Aussie Antics who has a great post about Vegemite and Le at Third on the Right who has a post about Australia Day. More Aussie bloggers will be featured in comings posts. And Braja, do Aussies in India make pavlova on Australia Day too?

UPDATE: I've also decided to have a SECRET AUSSIE GIVEWAY (promise, no spiders) to be drawn on Australia Day. The pack will contain mementos of Australia based on each of this month's posts (and yes, our cricket team will most definitely be included in the pack, sorry). Anyone who leaves a comment on my posts from January 11 -25 will be entered into the draw.

I am so excited...

I just had to share this with you.

No it's not about a researcher called Tal Yarkoni from Washington University in St Louis who contacted me about research he was doing on personality and blogging. Do you think I should have been offended that he contacted me on the day I told the world I swore at a police officer? There seemed to be a lot of questions about anger, poor impulse control and paranoia. Is this guy related to any of you? Just asking...

Anyway, I digress.

I'm excited .......for another blogger.

I was just looking at the list of winners of the 35th Annual People's Choice Awards and at the very end of the list was an award called User generated video - Barack Roll.

This video was done by a 24 yr old Aussie blogger, video producer and lawyer called Hugh Atkin (his blog has not been updated since the end of November so he's obviously very busy). This is a fantastic effort.

I posted a few of his videos on my blog last August and I am reposting these again so you can see them. You will notice in the comment section that Hugh made a comment (in August) which said, "it's always a very nervous thing uploading a video (to You Tube) and not knowing how people will react".

Well Hugh, it seems 'the people' may have reacted pretty positively given the five and a half million hits you've had and given you've just won a People's Choice Award. What an understatement!

The winning video is the first of the three featured.

Whether you like these types of viral videos or not, it does show what can happen when someone's 'work' gets discovered on the net and how quickly it can spread. How exciting is that!

So go forth bloggers and do great things.

Some of you just don't know how clever you are. Shelia I am looking right at you - you took us all by surprise and revealed your truly wonderful drawing talents on your blog today!! Bravo!!

I'll take your presence over presents

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Guess what?

It's Lilly's Life's 1st birthday!

A whole year of blogging.

Imagine.

I started blogging in January 2008 as a diversionary measure to try and get closure from one of those painful life experiences that we all get our share of. I made a decision to write a post every time I focused on this negative episode in my life. It seemed to be a better option than drinking, drugs, gambling or.......... exercising.

I wrote about two or three posts a day for the first three months. And now I average about 15 posts a month. So, I can safely say things are a whole lot better.

I only had one visitor to my blog for the first few months. Me.

Then I finally listed it and started networking and reading a few other blogs.

And finally along came some wonderful readers and bloggers who actually made comments and gave me encouragement.

Matt, Jade, Robin, Trish, Henry, Judi, Gary, Horatio Salt, Tia, Jon, Nina, Tasha, Aleta and Eric.

These bloggers are at the top of Lilly's Life virtual birthday party invitation list. They have continued to visit my blog from those early days and I have appreciated their support. Together they have an eclectic group of blogs. Go and visit them. There is a mix of politics, art, humor, spirtuality, sharing and inspiration.

Of course over the last few months I've had great fun discovering and visiting lots of other blogs too. You know who you are. I have learnt a lot through following each and everyone of you.

I am now addicted very interested in your stories (addicted is the wrong word because I have given up all my addictions this year and am working on a new batch) and look forward to each post.

So, instead of buying magazines only to learn that Victoria Beckham got rid of her hair extensions because they got in the way during sex or that Britney Spears is considering a breast reduction so she can wear more PVC on stage and Paris Hilton thinks having sex is disgusting if it's not with someone she loves, I now read about you, the real people of the world.

And strangely, you are way more exciting than celebrities. And you have way more outlandish and far more important things going on in your lives!!

So tell me some things I don't know about you, what made you start blogging and what's the best thing that blogging has brought to your life?

Finally, thank you all for bringing Lilly's Life to life....

And no, I will not be eating the birthday cupcake in the picture. I am using it to bribe Des (my 81 yr old father) to write another guest post. He loves cake and he seems to be back in form after not feeling so well for weeks.

He left a comment on my previous post which read, I just want Lilly's readers to know that she gets her good looks and sense of humour from me and her need to be rude to police officers from her mother's side of the family. Given her mother doesn't read her blog I think it's fairly safe for me to say this....I should add they have been married for 50 years and my mother has never let a swear word pass her lips. Yes, clearly my mother is a saint, Des has a wicked sense of humour and I must have been adopted.

When your resolutions nearly get you arrested

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I should be ashamed that I'm even going to share this story with you. Well you and anyone else out there in Internetland who happens to stumble on this post while searching for the term, crazy Australian woman.

I don't know what came over me yesterday. But over me it came.
I learnt a lesson.

I learnt that it's dangerous to go cold turkey from white sugar, white flour, chocolate, dairy, coffee, diet coke and alcohol all at the same time. And moreso, that it is completely deranged to attempt such a thing when you have PMT.

It's a lethal combination.

Yesterday was Day 4 of my New Years Resolutions.

They say it only takes 21 days to break a habit. Well the truth is, it only took me three and a half days to nearly get arrested. So I am not sure what else I can expect between Day 5 and Day 21.

It all started like this. I was dropping my daughter at the airport late yesterday. Of course we were running late because she had to wrestle with her suitcase for some time to try and get it closed. Post Christmas Sales Syndrome.
Anyone who has read my Message from your Mother series knows my daughter always likes to tell me things that are often unsettling to me even if they aren't to her.

So she picked that moment to tell me that a couple of weeks ago she had been mistaken for a prostitute. She had been walking to the local shops one evening (she lives in an inner city area) and a shady looking guy pulled over in his car and asked her if she was looking for a "gentleman" (Is that what they call themselves these days? Yuk!).

Of course I fired 52 questions at her - "what were you wearing?", "how were you walking?", "what time was it?", " why do you have to walk so much, exercise is overrated, take your car"..... Jewish mothers have nothing on me. Even I feel sorry for her.

Then, as we neared the airport, she got a phone call from my sister to say that she had left her handbag behind and that my sister would drop it off. How we missed a bright green handbag, resembling Kermit, is totally beyond me.

I pulled into the drop off zone, and after a few minutes spent discussing how she could board a plane without ID, she started taking her suitcases out of the car. I then heard a guy yell at her to "move it along". She tried to explain that she had forgotten her bag and that's why she was a little slow to get out of the car. Anyway, he kept up his obnoxious performance and continued berating her. Even though we were the only car there.

It was all too much for me.

I opened the window and yelled out into the never-never, "Don't be so rude, you ******* ********!!!!!

Keep in mind that at this point I had only heard the guy's voice - I hadn't actually seen him.

Then I heard an "OH... MY.... GOD.....MUM!"

I looked in the rear vision mirror and saw a man striding towards me. His chest was puffed out, he had a scowl on his face, he was wearing a blue uniform, with shiny badges all over him. I had made a fatal error.
I had just yelled obscenities at a P -O -L -I -C -E O-F-F-I-C-E-R. A seemingly angry one at that.

He pulled the car door open and said, "Madam, what did you just say to me?"


I said, "Well you were being incredibly rude. And while I apologise for swearing I still think you shouldn't yell at people like that for no real reason". (Oh the irony...)

He yelled something back at me which was like waving a red flag to .........to an IDIOT.

Do you think I could have just left it there? Oh no, of course not. I was on a roll.
I sarcastically said in a very calm voice, "I cannot help it if you hate your job and have to take it out on us but go ahead and arrest me if it makes you feel more important. Oh, and by the way, have you just given up junk food as part of your New Years resolutions too because that would explain everything?"

From his seering reply it would appear that he didn't appear to like me very much and nor did he seem to have much time for New Year resolutions.

Thank goodness my sister pulled up with the handbag just in time for my daughter to board the plane and for me to avoid handcuffs.
The red faced police officer just waved the equally red faced me off with a whoosh of his hand.

So I figure that I need to stay close to home over the next couple of weeks. I've grounded myself until Day 21 and am laying low. Perhaps jail may have been the best option.

I am suitably remorseful and have now added never swear at public officials again on my ever growing list of resolutions.

There is a first time for everything but strangely swearing at a police officer wasn't on my list of 1001 things to do before I die. I can't imagine why.

Roll on Day 21.

And if anyone has any medication they would like to recommend, I am all ears (and all mouth too it would seem).


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I've got a question for you

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What do you think about this?

Apparently women who like to be on top aren't necessarily so hot when it comes to the workplace.

Researchers at the University of Toronto Canada say that female bosses are more painful for other females workers than male bosses. It's called the queen bee syndrome where successful women don't like to be surrounded by female competitors.

The research team studied the health and stress levels of 1800 US staffers in three situations: working for a male boss, working for a female boss and slaving for one of each sex. Those working for a woman had more trouble sleeping, difficulty focusing, depression, anxiety, headaches, neck/stomach/back pain and heartburn.

I've given a lot of thought to this topic over the years. And, as much as I really don't want to agree with it, I believe it is true.

One of my worst bosses was a male and one of my best was a female but overall, I've found women bosses to be more competitive and less likely to want to mentor female staff.

I've also managed staff for a long period of time and have often found it easier to manage male rather than female employees. For a variety of reasons. I would hate to think it was because I feared some competition though.

I've always found women in the workplace to be highly productive and committed but I think we often can be high maintenance, no matter where we sit in the hierachy. Perhaps it's because many of us have less confidence compared to some of our male counterparts. For example, from my experience, if you asked males and females to assess their own work performance, males would write their report in more glowing terms (regardless of their actual performance levels) whereas females would downplay their abilities and performance. Many men seem to come equipped with the 'I am worthy' chip and many women do not. There are many reasons for this but it often means that bosses need to communicate more, provide greater encouragement and engender confidence in female employees.
So perhaps there are some great female bosses and some who have self esteem problems and feel threatened by other competent women. And perhaps there are those who are not prepared or equipped to give their female staff the amount of nurturing and support that they need. Simply because they are too busy focusing on being more analytical and systematic and less empathetic, communicative and caring.

So, what is your view -

Are women more difficult to work for if you are a female? Do we have different expectations of our male and female bosses? What do males think, do you prefer a male or female boss?

Flat Stanley visits OZ

Rhonda from Canada recently sent me a Flat Stanley journal which is a school project which her husband's cousin's daughter is doing. Flat Stanley is going to be travelling all over the world, staying with different families before he has to be sent back to school in May 2009.

Rhonda took him on holidays with her to Mexico before sending it to me for Christmas in Australia. A well tanned Flat Stanley is now on his way to Betty in Paraguay and then he will go to Ronda in Florida and then on to others after this.

Here are the photos of what he got up to when he visited us in Oz (click on the image to enlarge). Flat Stanley had a bit of a wild time I have to say.

1. Flat Stanley arrived at the airport and nearly had heat exhaustion after coming from cold Canada. 2. After recovering from his 20 hour flight he was ready to party. We found him on the Christmas Tree waiting for Santa to visit. 3. To make him feel at home we made him a candy snowman 4. We had seafood for Christmas lunch and here he is with an Australian lobster and prawns - it looks like he is judging Australia's next top prawn or deciding on which juicy prawn to eat first.

We knew that Flat Stanley will get to see lots of beaches in his travels and given Australia is mostly well known for its wildlife, we took Stanley to the Zoo. 1. Here he is meeting two of Australia's native dogs called Dingos (they loved him too). 2. A Cheetah 3. He got very friendly with Australia's biggest bird, the Emu. 4. Flat Stanley climbed a very high ladder so he could get up close to the giraffe and feed him. 5. He also got to feed the white lion through the fence. 6. The Lemurs had the most fun with Stanley. At one stage they tried to jump all over him as they were so excited to see him. 7. Stanley kept calling out to the Koala but it was too shy and would not turn around. 8. There's Flat Stanley just outside the big tiger's cage after feeding him. He had a great time and attracted lots of attention at the Zoo!
Thanks Rhonda it was great fun hosting Flat Stanley and I am sure Jamie and the other kids are going to get a surprise when he has finished his travels and they see what he has been doing. I wish I was flat enough to do a world trip like that as well. Let's hope the international postal systems look after him.

Betty let me know when he makes it to you, hopefully in one piece!!

Overheard during the Festive Season

.Shedding light on the dark times is a lost art.

So, we have to really listen for the work of true artists that are all around us.

The ones that make us smile even when they don't even know they are.

That's why I love reading the conversations reported on Overheard in New York.

Except you don't really have to go any further than your family and friends to have a laugh.

And like all good bloggers, I was taking notes over the festive season.

Of conversations.

Like these ones.

Mum: Did you know that the biggest killer of woman is now lung cancer?
Dad: And do you know what the biggest killer of men is?Long pause....while people guess.Dad: It’s Women....
Friend: I finally read your blog. Its funny.
Me: Thanks, glad you like it.
Friend: Yes, I think you could describe it as a work of friction as opposed fiction, because I didn’t stop giggling and it made me spill my coffee.
We were all discussing how we came to name our children.
Mum: Your Aunty didn’t name your cousin for ages because she and your Uncle couldn’t agree on a name. Poor kid. Finally, along came St Francis Day and they both loved the name so much that they finally named him.
Me: There's only one problem with that story Mum........... his name is Martin....
Brother: Come and help with the dishes.
Nephew: Can't I do it later?
Brother: No, it needs to be done now.
Nephew: But they say hard work only pays off in the future. Whereas laziness pays off now..
Brother: I can't put his response in print...
Dad: Coughing uncontrollably.
Oh dear (very seriously), my New Year resolution was not to die. It looks like I may be breaking it already and I’m only half way through New Years Day.
May you smile for a large part of 2009. It's one of the few things left which costs so little but can last a lifetime.......if we really want it to that is.

Australia kisses 2008 Goodbye

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