Monday, 1 June 2009

Hits are what it’s all about

Why do bad thing happen to good people?

My daughter asked me this tough question yesterday after she found out her friend is suffering from a brain tumor. He is in his 20s with a beautiful wife and baby son.

Today I was asking the same question when the news broke about the arrests of participants of a global pornography network, who downloaded a single movie showing the rape of an eight-year-old Russian girl. Nine thousand suspects in 92 countries are being tracked.

Why do bad things happen? It’s a tough question, isn’t it?

It's one I've given a great deal of thought to for some time.

Truth be told, I've been struggling with this question over the last few years after facing certain events that really would read better in a Hollywood script than outlined for the world to see on my blog.

None of us is immune to suffering yet most of us are so often caught up in the busyness and challenges of daily life that we don’t often stop to think of the real meaning of life. When things are going fine, it’s easy to take life at face value and avoid the really tough, soul searching questions, isn't it?

However, there’s nothing like suffering a heartbreaking hit to force us to question the meaning of our lives. Even moreso when it is as the result of evil and criminal acts by fellow human beings.

Thinking about it brings up very big questions that most of us are usually content to leave to others to answer. But when we can’t find meaning in what is happening to us or others, it's easy to slip into despair. In fact, some of the worst suffering we go through is existential in nature – wondering what the hell our lives are about and feeling like nothing makes sense. For most people, existential anguish is more painful than physical suffering.

At times, I believe we are faced with adversity for our own development. It's as if the 16 billion year old Universe is unfolding our lessons before us. Lessons that are custom designed for us and designed to teach us what to do next. These lessons often come in the form of painful events or situations.

However, at other times, I still find it difficult to use that same belief when talking about the suffering of children. Maybe they are the teachers. I do not know.

What I do know for sure is that tragedy is built into the very fabric of our life. No-one is immune. Taking hits is what real life is all about. They are not things that get in the way of real life. They are real life. They are essential to a purposeful life.

Sure we can be shocked, hurt, disappointed and scared when something bad touches us, but expecting to go through life without facing serious hurdles or heartbreaks is like trying to play football and not get tackled – it isn’t going to happen. Sometimes we are able to dodge it, and other times we have to deal with it in full force.

I think one of the hardest hits to deal with are the ones dealt to us by our fellow man. I am reminded here of Jean-Paul Sarter's famous line, "Hell is other people". I think he is only half right. Other people are almost always at the heart of our most heartbreaking hits and but also at the heart of our greatest happiness.

None of us escapes the pain unless we sit on the bench for the rest of our days. Waiting to get the call up to join the big game of Life.

And I would rather be in the game than out of it. Simply because the beauty and joy of life are always there for the taking but without the hardships we would most likely not value them as much. Looking for the beauty in life is common sense, learning to see the value of the pain is true wisdom. It really is.

"Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved". Helen Keller

Have you or someone you know lived through tragedy and come out the other side a changed person? Or why do you think bad things happen to good people? Or are you struggling with the questions? I would be interested to know what you think.


  1. I like that quote and I don't like it...I am not feeling very strong.

    I have takem nay hits and I still haven't answers to my questions.
    Why ?
    why me ?
    Still why not me?

    "Lessons that are custom designed for us and designed to teach us what to do next. These lessons often come in the form of painful events or situations."

    Right now in my life I am dreading what might come next everyday.
    I wish I wasn't so anxious but this is the lesson I have learned from taking hits.

    Bizarre and morbid thoughts are my mainstay.

    Since I couldn't say it any better -I quote
    "Thinking about it brings up very big questions that most of us are usually content to leave to others to answer. But when we can’t find meaning in what is happening to us or others, it's easy to slip into despair. In fact, some of the worst suffering we go through is existential in nature – wondering what the hell our lives are about and feeling like nothing make sense. For most people, existential anguish is more painful than physical suffering.'
    true , sadly so true.

    I love your posts Lilly very thought provoking .Sorry to be so downer.

  2. We have a friend who has been diagnosed with liver cancer. His prognosis is next to nil. But he is a person who I admire for the way he is handling this tragedy. He is not taking any quimo because he wants to enjoy the last months of his life feeling "well".
    I admire this, because to me it means that he is ready to meet his Redeemer. Of course it will be unspeakably hard for his wife and kids to let him go, but if you know your partner is at peace with the "path" God is leading him, then somehow HE will help on the journey.
    This is a very thought provoking post, Lilly but so needed! Many people just dig their head in the sand and do not want to deal with why something bad happens to good people...

  3. I went through some rough stuff in childhood and working through it now, years later, is a difficult and very painful process. I've often questioned whether I would change things, if I had a time machine and could go back 20 or 30 years. Honestly, most of the time the answer is no, I wouldn't. What I experienced was awful and in many ways it's taken a terrible toll on me, but I think I'm growing through it in ways that I wouldn't have grown if I'd had a safer childhood... so perhaps I wouldn't change the past.

  4. Lilly it is sad when sickness comes in forms of cancer or other terminal illness. I don't have the answers for this one. I feel God has not directed illness to anybody that he is there crying along with us. He is the guide lighting the way to help us through whatever we face...not the cause of it.

    However when it comes in forms of prevertedness and inflicts are on children that is the lowest form of just being a is not a sickness. My feelings on this are personal! I feel that once somebody has done that they will do it again..not because they are "mental" just because they are low life scum. I don't believe in 2nd chances here! I think they should be put in a hole...or deserted island with each other. NO child should have to endure that. They should NEVER be released from jail because they will do it again and eventually kill a child. NO tolerance there for me. I could kill them with my bare hands and not blink an eye. (can you tell I loath them all)

  5. Well, Lilly....what can I say....

  6. Great and thoughtful post, Lilly. I think the hurts, the pain, even the suffering in all our lives happens for a reason -- perhaps to help us grow, to make us more compassionate. That doesn't mean I open my arms to pain and hurts, but I do try to see the lesson that they offer. As for those child molesters, rapists and the ones you wrote about, I have no tolerance whatsoever. No, child should ever have to suffer in that way. They are the only true innocents in the world and most certainly do not deserve having to experience that kind of pain, anguish, horror.

  7. This is a constant inner struggle of mine...then I was wisely told...Be the change. Remember your change doesn't have to be a grand gesture. I was concerned about family homelessness, a friend got me involved in writing grants and volunteering in soup kitchens. Am I making homelessness go away? Not really, but I am doing my part to pave the way for change. Putting all of my good intentions into action.

    When my Daddy was in the hospital, I knew before anyone else that this was it for him. There was something in his eyes. I did not share that with anyone else. I kept it in my heart. While everyone was praying for him to get well...I was praying for strength for us all to get through what was to be...
    I wondered why I couldn't just block this feeling out like everyone else was. At the time it was burden, that knowledge,now I count it as a blessing. At my Daddy's wake and funeral I was stronger in ways I had never been before.

    Lilly, I am not one to pray at the drop of a hat...I wish I were...but lately people have entered into my life that need help, something beyond what I can deliver...And without sounding like a complete nutjob..I feel like I am being called to help...Really I am not crazy...and so I take time each day to just petition and pray for them. Nothing formal just a few words and a rosary after dinner...I don't make a big deal of it and I am very private about it...

    Again the blessing/burden thing...sometimes I don't feel like praying but then I have no choice in the matter... I hope I am paving the way..I hope I have enough faith while praying..

    Pheww what a load off..sorry for the ramble...

    Peace - Rene

  8. Why do so many people that question, "Why?" What makes so many of us assume there is a reason? It doesn't help us to deal with it, but it makes a heck of a lot more sense if you just accept that "sh*t happens!"

  9. PS: I love the new look at the top of your blog, Lilly!

  10. I wrote something similar last month; I think you saw it....

  11. Oh Lilly, this is an interesting and difficult post. Yesterday I came from my 3rd funeral in as many months- All heart-breaking. Our loved ones passed way too soon or too painfully. Yesterday's funeral was for my husband's uncle. They survived the holocaust together.

    The question "Why bad things happen to good people?" is often discussed in our family in terms of the war. All these years later, our family agrees with Sarter's quote-- "Hell is other people". But, as we sit Shiva for our uncle, the conversation has changed to the awe of "How he, and others, overcame such hatefulness to live joyful lives?".

    It's a big question, one that I'm sure will continue to be asked for centuries to come.

    This is a wonderful post, beautifully written and obviously heart-felt. Thank you Lilly.

  12. Good Monday morning dear Lily,

    I think there are totally senseless tragedies I see no reason for - and then I see hits because of ineffective choices someone has made, and information they have ignored or red flags they were in denial about.

    So... some hits just seem without a reason or purpose, and others are a way of Spirit letting you know that somehow you are off-course.

    The greatest heartaches of my life came not just because the men I chose were assclowns - but because I had no self-esteem and didn't let go the first or second time they showed themselves to be unloving and unapppreciative of who I was.

    So some thimgs happen for a reason that we are co-creators of - and others, like the rape of that child - will forever be a mystery of injustice to me.

  13. I've had trials in my life, but nothing compared to a lot of people.

    It's hard to put things into perspective sometimes.

  14. That quote by Helen Keller is so true. Many times in my life I have seen selfish, immature, greedy people brought to their knees by some tragedy in their life. I think we have to experience the bad to appreciate the good in life. It helps us become stronger, more decent, and loving people. Great post!

  15. Lilly at the start of your post I was confused on the connection between a friend's tumor and a pornography network. But I think you are making this question very broad and encompassing.

    cjw66 above stated one answer that's short and blunt.

    I tend to agree more with that idea than the destiny idea. There is a lot of random events and forces out there. But at the same time I think our attitudes and actions influence our lives and others.

    Your blog has an influence. A kind word or action has an influence. As you state so well tragedy has a profound impact.

    This post has me thinking of serious and not so serious life.

    One of the not-so-serious is the Indigo Girls' song "Galileo".

  16. As you know, Lilly, my youngest daughter has just experienced tragedy with the death of her fiance. I'm hoping with all my heart she does come through this a stronger person.

  17. Great quote, Lilly. I just did a very similar post to yours at my blog...I do believe that adversity makes us better and stronger. When bad things happen it motivates us to make changes. When a tragedy happens with a child, that is so hard to take...there are no words...just sadness.
    The hard times do make us appreciate the good all the more. I think on this earth, it is just a part of life. We must savour the good moments and do our best to share our love and make the world a better place.
    Have a Wonderful Day, Lilly :D

  18. What a deep and meaningful post today...just what I needed. 'taking what real life is all about..essential to purpose' Lilly, I'd rather be in the game too! I'd also like to add that time heals and life seems to go on, despite the unfairness and the atrocities.

  19. it's a great post, very though provoking.

    I agree, it's hard to understand it all when it comes to children.

    I question my life continually.. some days I think "is this it?".

    We do take our day to day lives for granted and often times when we're old and gray and look back, we will wonder why we didn't do more...

  20. Lilly,

    Terribly dismal and unforgiveable news about the 8 year old child. Why? What sort of social and moral disconnect does a person like that have to do such unspeakable crimes? It's deeply disturbing and "Why???????" always echos in my brain. "Why?!"

    That violation will change her life and affect every aspect of it forever. So many inhumane atrocities occur in our ever shrinking world on a daily basis, whether war related, socially unjust, or one of moral despise and hate. How do you really get a grasp on the enormity of these problems? The internet has definitely added its share of problems but it has also helped stir awareness of such brutality.

    For me, knowing there is not much I can do for the entire world but on a small daily scale in my own community helps the gnawing apathy. Although we are all trying to survive in our own ways and caring for ourselves and our children is valid and important, I realize we could all do more.

    Namely, cracking down with tougher laws locally, nationally and internationally. I really wish that every leader would read the book Guilliani wrote about how he managed the WTC crisis. He took the populace, laws and issues of NYC and broke it down into daily meetings making each department head accountable. He dropped the growing crime rate dramatically. He gave the people of NYC hope to rebuild and surge through a horrendous ordeal.

    I prayed for another Martin Luther King before President Obama was elected, before I even knew of him. A peace maker. A change maker on an international level. And although I voted Republic, because at the time I felt that McCain was a *the buck stops here* and would crack down on the system, I feel that Obama could provide the bridge to so many gaps. Perhaps he was the answer to my "little" prayer. And I like him more and more as time goes on.

    Leadership is important and key in society. If ya got a strong daddy, the kids are going to behave better ... I believe a lot of leaders also get lost in the mundane debate over laws and economy and need to take a closer look at these atrocities. Protect the people, especially our children.

    Thought provoking post, Lilly.

  21. The reason why we were all created to exist in this world as we naturally do is for the purpose of giving our Heavenly Father opportunities to receive a very special kind of love from us. For it is relatively easy to love someone when everything is perfect, but it is an entirely different story when it is not.

    Alas, that would be a lot easier to accept if it was not for all that has been so widely taught. For almost all religious indoctrination is focused upon us having to prove ourselves worthy of someone's (or something's) favor when the absolute truth of the matter truly is that it is actually our Heavenly Father who wants us to want to give Him the full benefit of our considerable doubts. Nonetheless, even what gets in the way is also part of it.

    No, none of this is meant to deny that we have any responsibilites. For we can bring more hardships down upon ourselves than would be absolutely necessary to accomplish His purposes at times, but the more closely we want to look at the circumstances of our lives, both in regards to the good and the bad, the more it should become clear that there is more going on than what we can naturally see.

    Please forgive me for sounding like a know-it-all. For these are not things that I have figured out myself, and if you would want to listen for His voice, He just might teach you even more than He has taught me.

  22. I once heard someone say that we are either:
    Entering a trial
    In the middle of a trial
    Or just coming out of a trial

    I think I have found this to be true.

    Life is full of lessons and adversity.

    I am religious and believe that we are on this earth with a purpose to learn and to become obedient. Being obedient to God's laws or Man's laws is one of the hardest things that we as mere mortals can do. But being obedient is what keeps out the chaos.
    When others choose to be disobedient - murdering, harming, stealing, etc...that is when bad things happen to good people. God gave us all our agency so we choose - We choose what we are going to do good or bad and we choose how we will deal with it.

    Then there is the by products of living on the earth. The earth is a living thing and is full of germs and danger as well as beauty. So we catch diseases but God has also given us good brains and there is medical knowledge to combat alot of it but not everything. It is not a punishment but it is a trial.
    Something to learn from.

    It doesn't make anything easier but it is what I believe.

    Good thoughts, good post!

  23. Ah... beautifully written... and soo very true and enlightening.

    We hurt each other so very much... it hurts to even think about it.

    I had not heard about the Russian girl, and I don't think I can bear it... so I won't search the info out.

  24. Thank you Lilly, for sharing with us this wonderful, thought-provoking post. I did write about my grandfather in the same brown moth. I guess the person I would ask that question to would be my grandmother who 'buried' two husbands. Unfortunately, she now suffers from mild dementia and short-term memory loss...just getting by each day is enough for her now.
    So, unfortunately, I have not found the answer. And, therefore I feel the answer is not to look for one.

  25. Lilly, it's strange to read this post, because it was just a few days ago that I thought, "I need to blog about my Mom." Remember when you commented that my Mom seems like an amazing woman? She is, not just for who she is, but what she has been through. I don't feel that I can do her justice, as I muster through words to form into a blog. One day, I hope to share her story. She's the reason why I don't give up on life, because of who she is and what she's been through.

  26. I really can't add anything to what you've said, it was beautifully put. It's one of the things I struggle with as well.

  27. Even through my Choosing bliss I have received some DOOZY hits. I truly understand that it is a way of life and there are lessons within each hit, but sometimes I still want to ask why.

    My neighbor was beaten and car jacked the other night right in our apartment complex. (This has been a very safe area until the other night). Now I'm watching everyone and feeling uneasy and wondering why?

  28. Down loading a rape on tape, how awful. Sorry to hear about the young man with a brain tumor, this has to be hard on his wife, not to mention on him, I am saying a prayer for him and his family. This is another thoughtful post, you always make so much sense. You are right, we do have to take the bad with the good, it is what makes us strong. Have a great week.

  29. Very interesting post Lilly. I have clients --- kids and teens --- that have gone through hell in their lives and yet, some of them are so resilient and moving on that it never ceases to amaze me. I often wonder what it would be like having gone through some of the things they have --- death of a parent, having abusive parents, being neglected. --- and I can't even imagine what it must be like. I've had ups and downs but I try not to get too down because in comparison to some people, my life is okay. I just hope that I have the strength to be like some of my clients in future.

  30. This is a beautiful, thought provoking post, Lilly. I do think adversity does strengthen you. However, I've seen it also break people or make them bitter. I had some difficult times as a child that I won't discuss yet and it made me very empathetic to children. I think it's part of why I became a teacher and I believe many of my students were able to see that I understood because of what I went through. My husband had a charmed childhood of love and happiness (hard work, yes, but good work) but he's always ready to help anybody who needs it and cares about everybody. So I don't think a hard life necessarily makes you better. I do think it gives you an extra depth of understanding though.

    My mother used to tell me that bad things happen to good people because God loves them and wants them to become stronger. I think bad things happen to good people because they just do. It's the luck of the draw.

    Maybe that's just a Buddhist thing really. I think the Buddhist concept at first was that Life is all about bad things happening so we need to strengthen ourselves and find skills to deal with or avoid them. So you meditate to find ways to deal with it.

    My mother also used to tell me as a child that Christians pray to God to give them things or to change things. Buddhists pray for strength and understanding to deal with the hand you've been dealt.

    I've no idea if that's true and I've crowded out your comment space too much, I'm afraid. Sorry about that. I'm going to go meditate now. :-)

  31. Your post and your questions bring up many issues - the criminal mind, the law, disease, suffering, life's purpose, god, and on it goes. We can look at all those things and still not find an answer to why it happens, so maybe why is the wrong question.

    "Shit happens." And when it does. We always seem to ask Why them? Why me? Why didn't I prevent it? Why didn't I do whatever? Rather than why, I think the question that needs to be asked is, 'How?' How do I grow through this rather than die through this, or even just how do I get through this?

    Sometimes the only answer to that question is to stay in a fetal position crying. The next question then is how do I get out of this fetal position, and on it goes, one day at a time, until eventually there comes a small shift.

    I have to quote Leonard Cohen here, from the song Antherm:
    "There is a crack in everything,
    That's how the light gets in."

    I've met and know many people that have gone through their own personal hell and now do amazing things as a result. Sandy MacGregor, the best example I can think of had 3 daughters murdered in the 80's. Have a look at his website:

  32. I just wanted to say a big THANK YOU for all your input and shared experiences. Fabulous and so very wise. I will be replying personally to each of you. Thanks again!

  33. Lilly the Philosophy - good to see this side of you my girl.

    I can prove that bad things happen to good people, just as good things happen to bad people. One of the things that makes me mad is the way people keep saying 'they'll get their just deserts'. It doesn't often happen in my experience.

    There Lilly I've gone all morbid ...

    Thanks for being one of the stars on the 70 Plus virtual art gallery ...
    June in Oz

  34. I left you a little something on my blog. :)

  35. I have now accepted that bad things always happen to nice people. Nice people always had to go through bad experiences.Interesting thing is nothing seem to so called not nice people.

  36. Crimes against children and animals leave me angered and embarrassed that I am part of the human race. Most recently, Cassie's class watched the movie about the sharks being finned and thrown back to die. Hundreds of thousands. Dogs being dragged behind vehicles. Another recently of a little girl in Ontario who disappeared from school with friends of the family, who have now been charged with sex crimes and murder, although they have yet to find a body. And who can forget wee Tuesday that was taken from her family by cancer?

    I. don't. get. it.

    I try really hard to concentrate on the good most times, but there are other times when that is just not enough.

  37. Rhonda, you are right animals as well as children. Thanks for that reminder.

  38. Lilly, this is such a great post. I work with chronically mentally ill adults. I've heard many horrible stories, but you know what amazes me more? It's the survival of these human beings, despite lives filled with pain, trauma, and suffering.

    Why does this happen? Why do we, as a species, bring children into the world and then harm them?

    Wish I knew the answers.

    What I do know is that despite all of the pain, illness, dysfunction, whatever you want to call it--people can survive, at times thrive, despite all odds.


    I've got to stop now, because I'm rambling :)

  39. Hi Gran, I think that is a great comment. People can thrive despite the odds. Thanks and the best thing is you are constantly wintessing this day after day.

  40. I agree that what we have to do is accept that there is godd and bad and really good and really bad in life and we could get any or all sent our way. Some things happen beause of our decisions, others will happen because of evil people, others are just fate and some we cannot explain.

    I think its depends how we are able to bounce back from adversity which is the key. Some people are better at it than others I think.

    There are some great comments here and a range of views. Its great.

  41. I cannot abide crimes against animals ...or children for that matter...or innocent adults going about their daily business. I think the buddhists say everything is a test. Maybe all great religions say that - I think I am as perplexed as you Lilly truth be told.

  42. I'm struggling with the question still. I even struggle with the question: What is the meaning of life... haven't come up with any real answers either.

    This was a wonderfully human and sad post. Love it!

  43. @ Sam - yes I think I really like Buddhist philosophies and I really like what Kay commented about this.

    @ Lady Fi - thank you - yes a little different to my normal whacky stuff I have to say.

  44. *Sigh* Gosh, such big topics and so very little in the ways of answers. I have always felt that one of the drawbacks I have in providing therapy to others is that I don't have a very traumatic or tragic background. Its "yea" for me, but how do I offer solace and comfort to others in their time of need when I can't ever say "I know how you feel..." Because its through adversity that we truly find out what we are made of. It cuts to the quick of who and what we are and I think going through these times only solidifies a person in their most authentic self.

  45. I have always felt that life is a school. You learn many things, some by emulating someone, some by listening to those with valuable experience, and some by simply going through fire yourself. And most of all, you learn to cope. In a way tha goes constructively with the way you are as a person.

    I have interestingly actually observed this in myself, when I have had to go through some very traumatic times. And the thing to do is to use what you have learned to help other people. Its called by many names like therapy. To me , its a natural progression from having been tempered by going through a fire of my own....

    And so these hits happen. They are actually education.

    However , when these border on mindless violence and perversion, , the guys perpetrating it have no right to life.

  46. Oh Lilly, such a great post! I hav e soooo much to write on this and it is very much something weighing heavily on my mind right now--actually has since I was a teenager I think, especially when it comes to such abuse of lil children. I can only imagine what you've been through and have picked up bits and pieces from following your blog. AllI can say is I;m so glad you ahve this perspective you share here adn you do indeed have some clsoe family liek your father where you knwo you are loved adn probably knew that growing up. If only the whole world had a childhood protected adn where they felt genuinely loved by those who are meant to protect them, eh?

    I want to write more on this and will do so later. Gotta go now, but will be back to leave another comment later.

    Again, thank you so much for your homour and laughter. It really is medicine to the soul and deeply appreciated.


  47. Lilly
    This blog was so beautiful. It brought tears to my eyes. Like you I've had challenges in my life, and I believe that I have learnt a lot from these.

    Wild waters weather stones leaving them polished.

  48. Lilly...what a profound and moving post. I have been dealing with alot of the questions that you brought up, for practically my entire life has been filled with one form of abuse or another.

    "Simply because the beauty and joy of life are always there for the taking but without the hardships we would most likely not value them as much." <<--- This really spoke to me..again...and THIS is what I have been doing my best to focus on. I have been taking one day at a time and LOOKING for the joys of life and GRABBING them EVERY SINGLE MOMENT I can. For I have had MORE than my fair share of hardships and feel it is now high time for some joy in my life!

    Thank you for who you are. Thank you for your openness to the world. Thank you for your laughter. It really is a healing balm to one's soul. I just told a friend this week...let's just really does help!

    Thank you! And love you TONNES!


  49. I've often been told that God doesn't hand you anything he doesn't think you can handle. But that brings me NO comfort and seems quite blasephemous when you think about crimes like rape, abuse and murder. Did God set them up for that? I think not.

    I think we've all struggled through circumstances, and have come out of them a bit run over. If we're lucky, we've overcome any residual uneasiness, or even bitterness. Sometimes it takes years to figure out what happened, and we never really get a clear cut answer of why. Nor do I think we should think too deeply about some things because we end up playing the blame game.

    And there is nothing that will stop one's progress by wallowing in who did what, and trying to affix blame.

    Anyway, I tend not to try to think too much about bad things that might happen. I have a husband going off into a war in less than 20 days. I just can't go there, not when I get the reports each day of much younger wives being left with small children and a husband who will never ever come back. It's just too hard for me to dwell upon this. I try to think about how lucky I've been.

    Luv ya much, and luv the masthead. I'll be sending my son Will to Narrabeen to see his Uncle Pete in October. God knows, someone needs to get Will motivated!

    xxxooo K

  50. Dear, Dear Lilly,

    I, too, am overwhelmed at times feeling helpless to fix what needs fixing in this world. The best I can do is take care of the people in my life, take care of the Earth surrounding me and be the most responsible citizen possible ....

  51. Thanks everyone for your comments. Great responses all of them and will help everyone who is pondering the same questions form time to time as we all do.!! Lots of deep thinkers in blogland arent there?

  52. This touched me deeply~Ms Lilly.
    I have so many doors which need to be thrown open!

  53. @ The Muse - wow you said so much with those few words! Thank you!

  54. Hi Lilly,
    An interesting and thoughtful post ! What wonderful responses.
    What about Karma ?The belief that present experiences are the result of past actions-not necessarily in this life. It offers explanations as to why "good " people suffer and some "bad ' ones don't also why others walk away unscathed from terrible disasters -or were not even there when normally they would have been- It was not time for their Karma to ripen. I think these thoughts help with accepting difficulties and suffering with equanimity and developing compassion for others.

  55. At times, I believe we are faced with adversity for our own development. It's as if the 16 billion year old Universe is unfolding our lessons before us. Lessons that are custom designed for us and designed to teach us what to do next. These lessons often come in the form of painful events or situations.

    I do believe that too! I think that if one can somehow just get the positive angle of any situation and just focus on that, you would be able to turn it around. I am always inspired by people who got it right, who built something positive out of what seemed to be a hopelessly bad situation.

    Of course, I can’t seem to get it right.

    Looking for the beauty in life is common sense, learning to see the value of the pain is true wisdom. It really is.
    So true!

    A fantastic read… as usual.

  56. I think the cooments are so fantastic. Thanks Barbara and White Sock Girl. Hopefully it gives people something to think about or explore a bit moreso. Even if they dont need it now they may down the track. Thanks again. Tough questions we all have trouble answering.

  57. OK, I'm back. First off, i'm goign to have to be real, regardless. I have to tell you, honestly, I find the whole concept of karma horrible as, boiled down, it essentially states that any hardship or horror you face -you deserve it--due to something you did in your/a former life! And thus we have things like the horrible caste system in India where helping others in charity and goodwill is actually "not" and can be "wrong" since they then have their karmic consequence shortened and they will have to relive the misery later in another life! (My family experienced this back lash lots from those more "fortunate" when they lived in India many decades ago, helping the street children, temple prostitutes, and such.)

    I believe bad things happen to good people as, simply, we are fallen--in that we are sinful and live in a sin-filled/me-centric world. So yes, of course then, horrible things happen to the least 'deserving' as it were, or thus it wouldn't be considered "Evil" in the first place. Should (some) God intervene then? No, unless allowed to, I think. (We are not robots of some God's bidding.)

    We are given free will to do with it what we choose. We are given as a species (and planet) everything in our power for good and love and peace but being me-centric on the whole there is consequentially needless hunger/disease, suffering and such as people are continually taken advantage of, robbed from, used/abused to further the plights of others and corrupt regimes. (With, ironically enough, the anti/No God societies having been the most death-filled of all--Soviet Russia's 60 million, Khmer Rouge, the darkness of current North Korea, etc!!) It is heartbreaking but it is reality.

    Thus we need a saviour who said he made the way for us on his own merits alone and proved it with his life. That is what I deeply hold to but I have to tell you, with that even said, I really don't get the idea or point of praying for or against something where it involves human will IF man's free will is ultimately the trump card and nothing can intervene in that. However, miracles somehow do happen even to the most hardened, rare as they may be bu tI ahve seen some truly incredible ones that defy all logic. I take some small courage in that.

    I agree with everyone though that the best we can do be then is to be charitable and forgiving to those around us, lift things up to God/the universe if you will, and choose to live by Christ's golden rule exemplified of loving others as you yourself would want to be loved. The issue then, of course, is being real with oneself to examine ourselves correctly instead of being blind to our own shortcomings.

    Good blog post. You always s make me think even in your hilarity, or when more pointed as now. Thank you, as always.

  58. Wow Jammmie this is amazing - I have to come back and reread this again and again. Thank you!

  59. That was a beautiful post...and so much of it reflects how I feel also. You did a great job delving into a very important question.

  60. Thank you Nikki appreciate yur comment and so many people said some amazing things here too - people have great thoughts on this issue!

  61. One of your most meaningful posts Lily...
    i do believe this book can answer the questions:

    Take care:) I hope you're having a great vacation!


Thanks for your comments.