Friday 22 May 2009

Welcome to the Fifty Factor

I'm excited!

For the first time ever, Lilly's Life has a 'guest blogger' (no, Des  you aren't a guest, you're family).In the last few weeks I've been avidly reading Joanna Jenkins' blog, Welcome to the Fifty Factor. It's fantastic and as Joanna, who lives in Los Angeles, has only recently started blogging, I would like to introduce her blog to you all. Please make her feel welcome and pay her a visit. I'm sure you will be following her in no time. This post is Chapter 3 of her ongoing series on Dating.


The Way To A Man’s Heart

It started innocently enough. My 50-something gal pal just wanted her house to smell nice when her 60-something blind date picked her up Sunday night. So she baked cookies 30 minutes before he arrived with the cover story that they were for a co-worker's birthday the next morning. You know how great chocolate chip cookies smell, don't you? So did her date. If the evening went well, maybe she'd invite him in for cookies and milk at the end of the night.

The date was great and the guy ate cookies!

Two weeks later, on their second Sunday night date, she literally saw him inhale when she opened the front door. A look of disappointment momentarily registered on his face when there were no baking cookies to greet him. She made a note of it.

Fast forward several terrific dates later. This guy always called a day or two before the requested Sunday night date. He never called in between and the dates are always on Sunday. What happened to the other six nights a week? She was feeling taken for granted-- like a "back-up" date, and couldn't understand what was going on. She really liked him and she thought he liked her too, so she decided to change course.

The next time the guy called for a Sunday date, my friend invited him to her house to watch the football game with dinner afterwards. She's an amazing cook and her not-quite-yet-boyfriend didn't realize the culinary delights in store. I'm pretty sure he was expecting take-out pizza.

To his delight, he arrived to delicious smells coming from the kitchen that continued to simmer, all day, throughout the game. When his team was victorious, they shared dinner on the sofa with his feet up, looking very comfortable. She sent him home with a doggie bag of left-overs to last the week. He was a happy guy and actually called her the next day to say thank you. After a 45 minutes of conversation-- a first for him, he asked her for another Sunday date! Again she suggested football and dinner at her place.

The following Sunday, same thing. Dinner simmering throughout the game with her date's anticipation of more mouth-watering food afterwards. This time though, she surprised him at half-time. They made out on the sofa like a couple of teenagers until the second half started. The guy was in heaven. Football, great food, a hot babe AND a doggie bag-- The perfect Sunday! A guy could get used to this.

Not so fast...

Mr. "Almost Boyfriend" was still only dating her on Sundays. So the following week-- She didn't answer her phone on Thursday. Or Friday. Or Saturday. Or even Sunday. No simmering smells coming from the kitchen. No "action" at half -time. No left-overs for the week. Nothing! She was completely unavailable to "Mr. Almost" and even went so far as to take her own voice off her answering machine. He was not going to hear a peep from her all week.

Monday night guess what? Her phone rang. It was him. She offered no explanation for missing in action. Nor did she offer her cooking skills or television for the next Sunday game. Instead, wonders never cease, he asked her out on a "proper" Saturday night date, at a fancy, romantic restaurant. He brought flowers when he picked her up and was the perfect gentleman.

This was a huge turning point in their relationship. Turns out, he was new to the dating game after having been married for many years, and had a bit of a confidence issue. He was afraid if he asked her out on a Friday or Saturday night, he'd get shot down. Guys can be such idiots sometimes. My friend wasn't dating anyone else and she never figured out where he got that idea.

They've been happily together for nearly three years now and are talking about marriage. We've all laughed over this story together several times, and each time, they coo at each other like a couple of school kids.

Why did they play the silly games that often go with dating? There are a lot of reasons and none of them particularly good-- other than dating is hard at any age and insecurities seem to bloom with new love. Thank gawd they are well past that part.

Whoever said "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach", was right. But to remind him of that piece of information, sometimes a girl has to take matters into her own hands.




Reminder: Don't forget to enter into the Giveaways on the right. Etsy shops need our support. Previous winners have been Ugich from Gappa, Lady Fi from On a quirky quest with Lady Fi and Dee from My Aussie Antics. It could be you next.

58 comments:

  1. Woohoo - I get to be the first commenter on my own blog. This was a great post Joanna. Now I can make cookies ok and even cupcakes but beyond that I am not so good in the kitchen. My ex owned restaurants though so I didnt have to cook. My lack of skills in this area could explain a great deal about my love life. Thanks for the brilliant post and I will be reading your blog and your dating series with interest. Yes, sometimes a girl has to take matters into her own hands. And you are so right dating is hard at any age. But I love happy endings too.

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  2. What a great story! I really enjoyed it Joanna; and thank you Lilly for inviting such an engaging guest to your blog!

    I look forward to checking out your site, Joanna. :)

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  3. This was such an interesting story, I enjoyed it very much. I will be married 50 years July 30th and if anything happens to my husband, I will remain on my own. Hope you have a very nice Memorial Day weekend.

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  4. Nice story. I really like your blog.

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  5. Lilly, I can't thank you enough for introducing me to your readers. You are the greatest!!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

    Laurie and Gigi, thanks for your kind words. I'll stop by your blogs later tonight.

    Margaret: 50 years! Wow, you are an inspiration. I'm just a rookie going on 16 years of marriage! I love the photo of you and your hubby. Life looks good for you :-)

    Thanks all for your comments xo

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  6. Hello Joanna, this was a great post and thanks Lilly for letting us know about Joanna's blog. I only have one thing to say, I MUST learn how to make chocolate chip cookies. I will be over to visit you Joanna. I don't have a blog but have been following this one for a long time. By the way Lilly, you are always excited so if you are really excited that I would like to see.

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  7. Welcome Joanna and I enjoyed your post. The poor woman must have wondered what this guy was up to from Mon-Sat. It is funny the games we play without even knowing we are playing them. Glad it worked itself out for your friend.Those cookies sure look good too.

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  8. Joanna, I truly enjoyed your story. I love how the friend got the guy to ask her out on a proper date. Too cute!

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  9. Awww, Joanna, that was a great love story. The way to a man's heart really IS through his stomach!!

    I'm off to visit your blog!

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  10. Nice story. Sometimes you have to just spell it out for us >_<

    But I would prefer someone who just asked me outright why I only ring on certain days than someone who gives me the silent treatment :P

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  11. She is a very smart "cookie" and he's a very lucky guy.

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  12. Good story, and great advice.

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  13. @ Prometheus - "but I would prefer someone who just asked me outright why I only ring on certain days" - that is so true, we do tend just not to say what we think don't we, it's like a bizarre dance, lol!

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  14. I love a good story, Lilly, thanks for sharing. Especially romantic ones.

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  15. I have to admit, I don't usually read guest posters, but I was sucked in with the delicious food!

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  16. aw, this is sweet ;-) but i agree, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach --- only if you're a good cook ;-)

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  17. great story and it's true a way to a mans heart is through his stomach..plus you dont get a std from cookies.

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  18. Congratulations on your first guest blogger and being the first on your own comment :-) Great writing and story Joanna...could you please pass those cookies :-))

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  19. It is true ladies the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Yellowdog Granny, now that was funny!

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  20. That was awesome...I usually don't have much of an attention span for a story over 2 or 3 sentences but that one reeled me right in!

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  21. Chocolate chip cookies are one of my many weaknesses.

    And that picture didn't help either. ;)

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  22. Lilly, This kind of stuff/socializing/generating cookie smells to attract folks/at the age of 50 never happens here, unless you are some hifaluting high society person or in show business, so this whole episode cracked me up.

    But the cookies looked wonderful. Remember your Christmas cookie/cake decoration collage thing in all white ? Sometimes I think you specialize in food photography. If you could only send the smells on the Internet .....:-)

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  23. @ Ugich , yes you have got me in one. I can make the food look fantastic and when it comes to all the bad food like cookies and desert etc I can do them well but I love the decorating and prsentation side. A food photographer, there you go!!! Perhaps a new career. And what are you telling me? That after 50 you are on the scrap heap????? Oh guess what? I am doing some work for a company in Mumbai, will email you about it. Isnt the world small??

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  24. Great story! And thank goodness some men don't need the 'way to a man's heart is through his stomach' cos I would have killed him!

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  25. Liily,

    In the sort of society that I grew up in and live in, you wont see too many single 50+ ladies affected with the Friday/Saturday-night-syndrome. They have many friends, belong to lots of special interest groups, and certainly dont feel like they are on a scrap heap.Societal customs are so different here in this culture. Doesnt give rise to so many insecurities in the mind.

    Having said all this, I am most delighted about your assignment in Mumbai, and I hope you can work out a visit here, so all of us bloggers here can mobilise for a grand lunch....

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  26. Lilly - my digital print has just arrived in the post. It's absolutely fantastic!

    Many many thanks!

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  27. @ Lady Fi - ha ha ha ha h!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

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  28. Thanks for introducing us to this new blog. I will definitely check her out. I loved this post, it´s soooo true! The cooking part, I mean....the dating I have no experience in! :)
    But it is a skill (the cooking or baking) that I use sometimes to get what I want too! :) My hubby does anything for a good meal! haha

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  29. Great story. I'm blessed to be married to a man that appreciates any effort in the kitchen!

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  30. I must be an alien of some sort. I think I understand women pretty well. I don't play games or try to read minds. And I cook. For the GF who ain't so good at it and her mom sometimes who feeds me every Sunday. The way to this man is to let him be supportive, my stomach is fine.

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  31. MilesperHour - I keep telling you I want you to bring up all the male children in the world. You are special.

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  32. This sounds so much like the way I met my Bob. His wife died with cancer after 40 years of marriage and he had no idea how to go about dating again but he sure did like my cooking and taking home doggie bags. He is such a wonderful man and we have been together for five years now. Thanks for a wonderful story.

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  33. Lilly!! I just came from the post office and picked up the package from you! THANK YOU THANKYOU!!! I´m so excited! The Cd´s all look fabulous and the best part is, I have not seen any of them! Guess what I´ll be doing tonight?? :)

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  34. @ Betty - I just hope they work!!!! Not sure how different regions work.

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  35. Just goes to show we teach people how to treat us. She could have been Sunday girl for years.

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  36. I enjoyed your post, and will visit to read some more!

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  37. I love this story!
    Could I be the only cynic who thought he was married? Granted, I haven't been in the dating pool in over thirty years, but I do have many single friends.So, how about that cookie recipe???

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  38. What a great blog & guest post! Glad I found you...: )
    Popping by via SITS hope you have a wonderful weekend! : )

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  39. I'll definitely be popping over to read Joanna's blog. What a great post.

    All I can say on the topic is that thank GOODNESS, my husband was not "treated" to my culinary delights early on in our relationship. Needless to say, he would likely never have made an honest woman of me!!

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  40. Lilly, Joanna is a great story teller.

    Guest bloggers? Next stop hosting your own TV show. I wonder if Oprah would have been a blogger if that was an option when she started out.

    I would change one line:
    "sometimes a girl has to take matters into her own kitchen"

    Don't mean to be sexist - I just can't cook.

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  41. You go girl! We woman have to beat men at their own game. It was so touching to have a happy ending.

    Lilly, you make a great hostess, and I will definitely be following Joanna's blog!

    Thanks for sharing!

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  42. Lovely heartwarming story, Joanna :)

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  43. Joanna's blog is indeed quite wonderful. Thanks for directing us to it, Lilly. One of the better things about the internet is being able to read the wonderful prose of lovely people like yourself and Joanna.

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  44. A VERY SWEET STORY! I'M GLAD IT ENDED HAPPILY, BECAUSE I'D HAVE BEEN MAD IF HE TURNED OUT TO BE A USER-JERK! STOPPING BY FROM SITS, YOU WERE AHEAD OF ME ON BLOGROLL...INSOMNIA?!

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  45. Thanks everyone for your comments for Joanne - please go and visit her blog. She is a wonderful writer and story teller.

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  46. Joanna this was a great story! I really enjoyed it!

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  47. Thanks for sharing Lilly, I really enjoyed this post and have been to Joanna's blog too.

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  48. this depresses me even more ;)

    Anyway, apart from that, she seems like a great writer...definitely will pay her a visit!

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  49. OMG - thank heavens that Greg likes to cook, because if a way to a man is through his stomach, I'd be doomed.

    Great post and now, I'm going to search for your blog. Thoroughly enjoyed your story!

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  50. thinking of cooking and love Jimmy Webb said it best -

    Someone left the cake out in the rain
    I don't think that I can take it
    'Cause it took so long to bake it
    And I'll never have that recipe again
    Oh, no!

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  51. Great story. It is a good reminder that people have had different relationship experiences depending on where they are in their life. Such a good lesson to learn. I really enjoyed reading the blog and looking forward to more! In the meantime, I'm gonna learn how to cook ;)

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  52. That's a funny one. I can imagine what he was thinking. Being married for so long, I'm sure joining back into the dating game was a shock to his system. Great story Joanna, and Lilly, thanks for the new link.

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  53. ...please where can I buy a unicorn?

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