For the first time ever, Lilly's Life has a 'guest blogger' (no, Des you aren't a guest, you're family).In the last few weeks I've been avidly reading Joanna Jenkins' blog, Welcome to the Fifty Factor. It's fantastic and as Joanna, who lives in Los Angeles, has only recently started blogging, I would like to introduce her blog to you all. Please make her feel welcome and pay her a visit. I'm sure you will be following her in no time. This post is Chapter 3 of her ongoing series on Dating.
The Way To A Man’s Heart
It started innocently enough. My 50-something gal pal just wanted her house to smell nice when her 60-something blind date picked her up Sunday night. So she baked cookies 30 minutes before he arrived with the cover story that they were for a co-worker's birthday the next morning. You know how great chocolate chip cookies smell, don't you? So did her date. If the evening went well, maybe she'd invite him in for cookies and milk at the end of the night.
The date was great and the guy ate cookies!
Two weeks later, on their second Sunday night date, she literally saw him inhale when she opened the front door. A look of disappointment momentarily registered on his face when there were no baking cookies to greet him. She made a note of it.
Fast forward several terrific dates later. This guy always called a day or two before the requested Sunday night date. He never called in between and the dates are always on Sunday. What happened to the other six nights a week? She was feeling taken for granted-- like a "back-up" date, and couldn't understand what was going on. She really liked him and she thought he liked her too, so she decided to change course.
The next time the guy called for a Sunday date, my friend invited him to her house to watch the football game with dinner afterwards. She's an amazing cook and her not-quite-yet-boyfriend didn't realize the culinary delights in store. I'm pretty sure he was expecting take-out pizza.
To his delight, he arrived to delicious smells coming from the kitchen that continued to simmer, all day, throughout the game. When his team was victorious, they shared dinner on the sofa with his feet up, looking very comfortable. She sent him home with a doggie bag of left-overs to last the week. He was a happy guy and actually called her the next day to say thank you. After a 45 minutes of conversation-- a first for him, he asked her for another Sunday date! Again she suggested football and dinner at her place.
The following Sunday, same thing. Dinner simmering throughout the game with her date's anticipation of more mouth-watering food afterwards. This time though, she surprised him at half-time. They made out on the sofa like a couple of teenagers until the second half started. The guy was in heaven. Football, great food, a hot babe AND a doggie bag-- The perfect Sunday! A guy could get used to this.
Not so fast...
Mr. "Almost Boyfriend" was still only dating her on Sundays. So the following week-- She didn't answer her phone on Thursday. Or Friday. Or Saturday. Or even Sunday. No simmering smells coming from the kitchen. No "action" at half -time. No left-overs for the week. Nothing! She was completely unavailable to "Mr. Almost" and even went so far as to take her own voice off her answering machine. He was not going to hear a peep from her all week.
Monday night guess what? Her phone rang. It was him. She offered no explanation for missing in action. Nor did she offer her cooking skills or television for the next Sunday game. Instead, wonders never cease, he asked her out on a "proper" Saturday night date, at a fancy, romantic restaurant. He brought flowers when he picked her up and was the perfect gentleman.
This was a huge turning point in their relationship. Turns out, he was new to the dating game after having been married for many years, and had a bit of a confidence issue. He was afraid if he asked her out on a Friday or Saturday night, he'd get shot down. Guys can be such idiots sometimes. My friend wasn't dating anyone else and she never figured out where he got that idea.
They've been happily together for nearly three years now and are talking about marriage. We've all laughed over this story together several times, and each time, they coo at each other like a couple of school kids.
Why did they play the silly games that often go with dating? There are a lot of reasons and none of them particularly good-- other than dating is hard at any age and insecurities seem to bloom with new love. Thank gawd they are well past that part.
Whoever said "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach", was right. But to remind him of that piece of information, sometimes a girl has to take matters into her own hands.
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