Thursday 28 May 2009

I was over it

before Naomi Watts had even discovered it

I was doing my facercises this morning and the phone rang (I so know you will click the link - if you are under 40, you won’t get it, so truly, don’t bother) .

I cannot reveal who the conversation was with, for fear I may be sued. It went like this,



Anonymous: I am going to make this great chicken soup recipe.

Me: That’s nice. Have you made it before?

Anonymous: No, and I need your advice. It says I need chicken legs and I have been searching for them everywhere and can't find them. Do you think it would be ok if I used chicken drumsticks instead?

Me:
You mean I never ever told you that drumsticks were......

Clearly, I was remiss somewhere in her formative years.

It’s entirely my fault you understand. I've always had an aversion to purchasing and cooking dead animals. Not for the usual ethical, religious, economic or health reasons though. But then, you could have guessed as much, right?

Vegetarians please turn away now. There is nothing else to see here.

I do eat meat. I really like it but do not eat much. I do enjoy a juicy steak every now and then but only if someone else cooks it. I will not handle raw meat ever, under any circumstances. It worked really well when living with a Chef who had restaurants. At least, it did once we came to an understanding about what the term 'cooked' actually meant.

My aversion to raw meat and meat handlers in particular, grew from my first experience buying meat at a boutique butchers.

This is what happened. I was 17.

Butcher: What can I do for you love?

Me: Um, I’d like a leg of lamb please?
(Aussies, I was into lamb before Naomi Watts chose a lamb dinner over a date with Tom Cruise). Butcher: Do you want the left leg or the right leg.

Me: Um, Um I am not really sure. What's the difference?

Butcher: Well this sheep came from the high country so it grew up on a steep hill. So that means the right leg is far longer than the left.

Me: Oh, I guess I’ll have the right leg then...I suppose.

Butcher: No worries.....
as he goes out the back and nearly chokes on his laughter.

I had no idea he was 'pulling my leg'.
While it's funny, I've never gone near a butcher or bought meat since. Seriously.My question to you is this (no, Sarah it's not do you think I need therapy?) - how do you feel about meat. Do you eat it or not?

I try my best to keep your lives as superficial as mine for at least a couple of minutes a few times a week, just humour me.
Notes:

1. Thanks to those who have asked about Des. He is out of hospital, doing ok and being waited on by slaves as a man in his position should expect.

2. Readers of Lilly’s life, yes the real readers and the lurkers who read and dont comment, go put in an entry to the Etsy giveaway on the right. It's a good one. I want it to go to a real reader but you have to be in it to win it. Because random.org decides, not me unfortunately. So far, giveaways have gone to the UK, Canada, USA, India, Estonia, Romania, Australia, Sweden – Lilly’s Life is an equal opportunities giveaway blog. No dogs allowed, though. We all have our limits.



67 comments:

  1. Yes, Lilly I think you need therapy, lol. I can't imagine you being that gullible, he he. I say become a vegetarian or find another Chef or buy a restaurant. I do not eat meat and haven't for 20 years. I do not miss it.I hope you don't get sued.

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  2. No, I don't eat meat. I was a vegetarian for over 10 years(no, didn't wear leather, either-same thing to me), then went back to meat & fish, then in April 08 went back to vegetarianism. I don't think I am meant to eat meat, but I never really thought I should eat it even when I did. I don't turn it into a psychodrama for others though. Each person is quite capable of making their own decision. ~Mary

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  3. OMG seriously funny !
    I have heard stories like this ...
    and I am gullible too LOL
    I ♥ meat and I have no problems with vegetarianism.Each to their own.
    I am so glad Des is doing okay. When might he be up to a guest post on the joy of hospitals ?

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  4. Don't forget Sweden. The digital print came to me in Sweden (although I am a Brit).. Have I mentioned just how fabulous the print is? Really great! I love it...

    Do I eat meat? NO! I went cold turkey (as it were) in 1985 and just stopped eating it overnight. Why? Because I had spent the hungriest year in my life in a very poor part of China as a volunteer, where no one could afford meat. Just made me realize how unfair the distribution of food is so I quit eating it.

    Add to that the terrible way we treat animals these days = vegetarian for life.

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  5. Meat?? What a topic. You can make anything funny! You made me actually laugh out loud imagining that butcher and what he made you believe... hahaha (smiling from ear to ear). Poor thing!

    Did you know that Mennonites are meat lovers!? We have some kind of meat every. day. If we don´t it feels like we are on a diet. :)
    Which clearly, if you know what I look like, is not the case...
    BbQ, is one of our favorite dishes!
    I feel sorry for those people who never get to have one.

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  6. I am a vegetarian "avec eggs". Thats because, my mother who was the strictest vegetarian , suddenly thought that should have eggs in my childhood. So I eat spicy omelettes. Thats it. I do not eat anything where one can discuss its anatomy, muscular,glandular or whatever. But alas, my family goes into raptures over tandoori and othertypes of chicken, so one sometimes makes it. But I never,never touch it. I use tongs, and never share anything like knives with chicken types at the table.

    Vegetables, jai ho.!

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  7. I do eat meat (not a lot, really), but I don't like to think of where it came from. Especially when I'm picking away at a chicken carcass and then realize I'm touching a bird! (I have a terrible bird phobia.)

    Fortunately, to me there's no food on earth like cheese ravioli--no one got killed and even I, with my limited culinary skills, can whip it up in no time.

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  8. I eat meat but when I was a poor student I couldn't afford it often so I learned to cook lots of nice vegetarian dishes. I'll eat most meats but won't eat anything that performed a major function in the body (brains, heart, liver, kidneys, pancreas) - not for any ethical reasons; I just find them rather gross. Also I had a food poisoning incident with kidney, which involved me fainting, hitting my head on the way down on the corner of a marble wash-stand and waking up in a pool of blood. Haven't really been keen on eating kidney since then.

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  9. I am a carnivore. I don't eat organs though. yuck.

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  10. Lily, I just saw the video..please dnt tell me you do that stuff!!!

    Ok, I love meat..unabashedly, shamelessly love meat!! My body cannot tolerate it in high doses, but I still love it. Otherwise I would have been a vegetarian ages ago!

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  11. Oh that naughty butcher left you without a leg to stand on!! Ouch, sorry :) Meat yes, but not a lot. But it was my craving when I was pregnant, I ate a lot of meat then.

    My youngest has an aversion to meat. I think it might be the texture he dislikes, but he is pretty particular and will avoid anything that has even touched meat. Odd how they develop that without being exposed to it as a practice.

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  12. We mostly eat chicken and fish. If I eat ground meat it is Turkey and same goes for sausage and bacon.

    Glad to know your dad is home!

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  13. In 'n Out baby all the way!

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  14. I have an on-again off-again relationship with meat. I went through a vegetarian phase while living in Europe in my 20s, but went out of it when I got pregnant with my first child. I wanted to make sure she had enough protein while she was developing. Now, I have two sweet girls who are complete carnivores. They love meat. So I cook it, but I don't always eat it. Trying to be environmentally friendly and limit the amount of meat my family eats. My husband goes along with whatever I do. He's pretty easy about that, but then, that's because he gets huge helpings of meat in the hospital where he works. Ah well. Meat.

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  15. I do eat meat. I prepare it, also. Years ago, my girl's father hunted everything and I prepared it. I have cooked and tasted everything from beef to rattlesnake in my time but don't eat nearly as much meat as I did. The lamb thing was so funny. My girls would ask me something like your caller. They are slowly learning to cook and sometimes it is hilarious.

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  16. I LOVE MEAT. I'm just saying. lol

    How funny that last night the book I was reading had that very same comment about one leg longer than the other. lol The comment from that person in the book was "The poor thing! But what if he has to turn around??" lol

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  17. funny post! I love all kinds of meat, including the organ meats of various animals...although I have cut the portions back as part of a healthy diet. I love fruit and vegetables, but a meal without meat doesn't seem complete for me. It must be just what you're used to.

    When I first started cooking, I couldn't handle a whole raw chicken, I'd be on the point of screaming to look at it in the kitchen sink let alone touch it. If it was just the legs or something, that would be ok.

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  18. That is funny! That is like the time our sales men went to a chicken restaurant for dinner. they had a few drinks and thought it was funny to order a two chicken leg dinner. When the server brought the dinner they told her they needed to know if the legs came from the same chicken! LoL
    We are meatetarians!! :o)

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  19. You bet I eat meat and lots of it! After my three times daily facercises I'm starving!!!! (That was a hoot!)

    I was raised in farm country so meat and potatoes are what I grew up eating. Even though I've cut back-- only to lower my cholesterol, I'd still eat a steak every night if I could. Old habits are hard to break. But my little sis-- No beef and nothing actually off a bone. She toured a slaughter house for a 4-H project when she was 12 years old and that was the end of that. Funny thing is, now her kids raise pigs for 4-H so there is A LOT of bacon cooking at their house. Their motto is, if you can't eat it, don't feed it. Kind of gross, but that's farm life :-)

    Thanks for another very funny post Lilly! xo

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  20. I LOVE MEAT!! Seriously, I could eat a hamburger everyday. Vegetarianism makes me sad.

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  21. Lilly;

    I fall victim to people that pull my leg all the time...I often hear myself saying "really" out loud and then I go "DUH" Peggy get a grip!
    I think butchers plumbers,electricians and tech geeks love to go after blonds...OK there i said it.
    I love meat...don't like to handle it either, good thing my husband likes to cook. PHEW
    I do eat less and less though...am watching my health and don't like the hormones that sometimes come along with any meat. Also I like my meat... when it's allowed to roam free rather then in teeny tiny pens. That's the hippie in me!
    BTW I so went to figure out what you were gtalking about with the face yoga...I have to try this.!!!

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  22. You have the advantage of saying you were 17 when it happened. If it happened to me, today, I'd have been a sucker too. Too funny...

    As for meat ~ Greg is a great cook. I don't handling raw meat, but I will in the rare situation when I find myself interested in cooking. I can clean with the best, but just am not interested in cooking. Mostly though, we eat chicken. Too much red meat can upset my stomach. I love fish, but Greg doesn't like to cook it or eat it. Ah well...

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  23. I turned vegetarian maybe 10 years ago. I was never a great 'meat' eater and so I don't miss it. And since my husband is a vegetarian too it is easier to order a meal a la carte when you go to a restaurant. However, I do cook meat at home for the children and have never been even tempted to taste it, but love the aroma while it cooks.
    Loved the butcher story! :-)

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  24. One of your funniest posts.

    your question - yes I eat meat but also enjoy Indian vegetarian dishes.

    Both little stories bring back memories. On road trips my dad would tell us the cows on the hills had shorter legs on one side.

    I reconstructed a chicken skeleton for a science project once. Also, my family enjoyed hunting.

    Not knowing animal parts and where our food comes from is a problem in our modern society. We should get a little closer to our food.

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  25. So I went to the butchers...and I said to the short fella behind the counter 'I bet you can't reach that two pieces of meat on the top shelf'

    He said 'Sorry, I'm not taking the bet'

    'Oh? Why not?'

    'The steaks are too high...'

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  26. I eat a lot less than I used to, but I cannot go without...I did try but it is hard at backyard parties..steaks on the grill just smell so good.

    Peace - Rene

    But I could never eat Skippy the Kangaroo!

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  27. That's too funny... as I read about the lamb with short and long legs, I thought 'wow, I'd never heard that before'... I'm pretty clueless when it comes to cooking as you can probably guess. They should really label drumsticks with (chicken legs) in parenthesis maybe? xo

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  28. Wait a second ... I think I can still hear your butcher chuckling.

    I don't eat a lot of meat ... a steak on the grill once in a while tastes great though. With veggies roasted on skewers. I like my steak medium rare please.

    I am finding the older I get, the harder meat is to digest.

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  29. I love meat, but try to avoid it. At least when I'm pretending to lose weight. And I always buy the right leg of lamb. Much longer.

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  30. Oh that butcher was just MEAN! Poor Lilly. But, it does sound like maybe your "blondeness" is genetic? :)

    My sister is a "blonde" (mentally, not physically so much) and we sure have fun teasing her.

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  31. I don't eat a lot of meat, and I don't prepare or cook it. I could easily live without it. I remember when a little 3rd grader[whose family owned a farm] came into school one morning and said she was never going to eat hamburgers again. Her cow 'Brownie' was no longer in the barn. I never forgot it.

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  32. I don't eat meat but I do fix it for my kids. Nevertheless, I know they do not know the terms for most cuts of meat.
    This is so funny!

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  33. Ha ha everyone, you are all too funny! Yes, I am blonde and my trust in people and in what they say still continues even though I come from a family of story tellers. Seems there are animal with way shorter legs than the other all around the world...it must be an international joke!

    Lisleman I think what you are saying about getting closer to our food sources hit the nail on the head. I was lucky enough to grow up in the country and my grandparents had a farm (no, no sheep on hills unfortunately). they had chickens and I remember many headless chickens running around after they had the axe taken to them and I have not been fond of chickens since either. My daughter on the other hand, had never seen certain farm animals and may still not have. A lot of kids today think their food come sout of a cardboard box or via a drive through. Sad but true. Interesting though that meat does not feature too highly in peoples diets any longer.

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  34. I don't eat meat, and find it kinda sick that someone would say they eat BBQ daily "and feel sorry for those who don't." Man, that's unbalanced....

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  35. @ Braja, now you always eem to pick on things - my next post is all about balance.

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  36. Lilly dear...tisk tisk..hahahaha. You are INCREDIBLY funny! =)

    Hope your week is going well over all. Luv you! **hugs**

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  37. Very thought-provoking (and your usual intelligent and humorous post) Lilly!

    I seem to find meat less and less appealing, but I still love a juicy cheeseburger or steak. Don't eat much chicken any more at all. I grew up thinking food came from the supermarket (suburban kid, zero country awareness).

    Cheers and here's to fruit and veg ...

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  38. @ Paris, I am thinking about that art challenge.....yikes....

    @ Carolyn - Oh you are right about chickens and hormones and all that stuff - here is to growing our own....fruit and vegetables that is.

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  39. I once was a vegetarian until I joined a church whose 'oversight' or self appointed pastors told me not to refuse what God had created for me to eat. Young and eager (read gullible or stupid) to please God I accepted their 'wisdom'. I am no longer affiliated with that or any other church. I still believe (somewhat) in God, and I still eat meat. So I am also a once was 'Christian' who does not deny that God exists aka I still have elements of faith.

    And now for a chicken story. One day at one of those faux butcher shops inside a shopping mall that always lurk outside Coles, Franklins or Woolies, I ordered chicken breasts and the 'butcher' (read male counter assistant) countered with a cheeky grin at flat-chested (read inverted chested) me, 'would that be double or single breasted?' He thought he was being funny, I didn't. Though I can laugh at it now, the prick, I have a sense of humour, just not at the time of being insulted in the guise of friendly humor or was he flirting with me?

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  40. Oh Rowe you must blog about that 'Church' experience some time. As for the boy in the faux butchers (they are all faux butchers these days) how rude! Glad you saw the funny side eventually. I think he was flirting with you - definitely!!!!

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  41. Hi mum!
    You cow for exposing me. In my defence I was looking for 'chicken lovely legs' and not 'chicken drumsticks' as the recipe specified.
    Meanwhile, as an aside, braja? You find it 'sick' that people eat BBQ daily. Live and let live woman! Nothing worse than a preacher...
    Jordan

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  42. Hey Jordan, first, love the cow reference in keeping with the theme. Second, what so chickens have to have lovely legs in order to be included in recipes? Third, Braja's a vegetarian and Betty comes from South America and culturally they eat a lot of meat. Thanks for your comment I must talk about you some more if it means you will comment, besides you gave me some great new blog fodder today!!! By the way tell Magda to put a comment on here sometime.

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  43. I was teased by a butcher once. I needed just a small handful of beef mince and as he weighed it, he said, with a perfectly straight face, "take away or eat it here?"

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  44. @ River - oh that is mean, these butchers clearly have the most wicked senses of humor. That is good one!

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  45. Don't eat meat now. I think of the poor animals and the slaughtering. We all used to love meat especially roast chicken although as there was always a fight over who could have a leg I used to buy an extra one and sew it on so we always had a three legged bird and everyone was satisfied..
    Love to Des Glad he is home !

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  46. @ Barbara, you sowed a third leg on a chicken? Um you aent pulling my leg are you Barbara? Or you weren't a butcher in a previous live perhaps? Then again, you being you, And as resourceful as you are I think you sewed the leg on.....

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  47. I've always had an aversion to purchasing and cooking dead animals. Not for the usual ethical, religious, economic or health reasons though.You and me, both. I eat meat,.. but with like any other food, I don't buy it and I don't cook it,.. but I will eat it.

    My cooking abilities are down right lethal, and I have no desire to improve it. But unlike you, it is not because I had traumatic experience, I am just purely rebelling. My mother tried to force what she considers 'good wife' qualities on me,... ah, too painful, I can't recall those memories of me peeling stuff. Ok, maybe it traumatized me...



    Butcher: Well this sheep came from the high country so it grew up on a steep hill. So that means the right leg is far longer than the left.Confession, when I reached that line, I was going like,... 'really, I did not know that',...
    darn,... I am so red in my face now!

    I just love reading you!

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  48. actually, the butcher was on to
    something without realizing it.
    one should buy the upside leg as
    it carried less weight and would be
    less muscular and therefore more
    tender...really.

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  49. I love your blog. Have a great weekend.

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  50. OMG you are so funny! Gave me my daily chuckle! Thank you.

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  51. @ whitesockgirl - he he, just get a boyfriend who can cook, takes the pressue off.

    @ jfrancis - are you a butcher? Or just well informed? Thanks for dropping by. And if you are a chef, make and single we have people who are interested...

    @ Gig - thank you

    @ Baba - yes a laugh a day is just what the doctor ordered.

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  52. For several years I ate very little meat -- no red meat, just occasional poultry and fish. Then, about 12 years ago, I was diagnosed with an allergy to yeast and wheat, which effectively removed bread, beer, cheese, pasta and a whole lot of other things from my diet.

    At that point, it became them or me.

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  53. Jeanne, he he, well its survival of the fittest after all!! Good one!

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  54. Lils?

    Do ya have any good beef stir fry recipes???

    {xoxo} Juls~

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  55. Hey Juls, NOOOOOOOOOOOO, lol!

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  56. Right leg or left leg, ROFL. I have to say you were a wee bit gullible back then. I got a good laugh just picturing it in my head.

    I live on meat. I couldn't make it through the day without cooking and eating some species of meat. As to handling it, I have no problem whatsoever.

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  57. @ Eric, what do you mean back then - I still am. Yes, well not all of us hunt our own food or prepare it, ok? Glad to see you it must mean she has let you access to the computer. Knew she was a good woman.

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  58. Yes my secret agent son will vouch for this I did used to buy a spare leg and sew it onto the bird. I did it for the sake of peace !

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  59. That butcher is rather hilarious. I'll bet he's sorry he lost you as a customer, though.

    We don't eat a lot of meat either...mostly chicken. I feel sorry for the chicken, too though.

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  60. @ Barabara - gosh the secret agent is thankful he had a mother like you I hope!

    @ Kay - oh we will all turn into vegetarians at this rate.

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  61. I occasionally eat red meat and do eat chicken and fish. After reading a # of books, including The Omnivores Dilemma and In Defense of Food by Mr. Pollan, I am committed to eating meat that has been raised in an ethical way (free range, eating what they were meant to eat, etc.)
    I feel that we can digest meat and various foods and flauna/flora (too lazy to look up at the moment) were put on the earth for people all over the world to consume. I am trying to become a locavore and to eat what little meat I do responsibly. (And I love veggeis.) Because of the expense of meat that's raised ethically, my consumption of it is going down even lower levels.
    You are a delight, Lilly. You make me "holla" with laughter. And that brings me joy. Joy is a grand thing to experience as much as possible.

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  62. I actually won a meat tray at a fete on the weekend - saved me heaps of money! And there were Tbones in there, something I have not had for a looong time.
    so yes, I eat meat, but dont like it pink.

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  63. Bu ti thought drumsticks were fro banging alone! LOL. how funny.

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  64. he he, never thought of that jammmie!

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  65. i do eat meat but I don't think i can eat a chicken if it was one of the chickens in our backyard nor can i eat a pig if I had seen it alive before it was butchered.

    there was a time that i refrained from eating meat after seeing Babe.

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  66. i do eat meat but I don't think i can eat a chicken if it was one of the chickens in our backyard nor can i eat a pig if I had seen it alive before it was butchered.

    there was a time that i refrained from eating meat after seeing Babe.

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Thanks for your comments.