15 May 2009

Have you ever

lied about your age?


I was having this debate with a few people recently as to whether it's ok to lie about your age. Some said yes, some said no and some said sometimes, i.e. to get a job or a date.

The strange thing is when we are younger we want to be older, when we finally get to be older we want to be younger. It seems it's only when we get to be 80 or so that we are proud of how far we have come and don't mind telling everyone how old we are.
I used to say I was older when I was a teenager, a friend remained 40 from 40 to 50, my grandmother would never tell her age because she was older than my grandfather, a boss who claimed to be in her early 30s had a 20 year old child, I once dated a guy who said he was five years younger then he was and I recall being crushed when an article in a newspaper referred to me as being 3 years older than I was.

Why are numbers so important to us ? Why do we glorify youth to the point people are ashamed to reveal their age?

On Tuesday's CBS Early Show (watch here), More magazine EIC, Lesley Jane Seymour, took on L.A.-based Dating Coach Evan Marc Katz to debate this question. While Lesley argued that you should own your age and help overcome the societal taboo associated with admitting your age once you’re past 40, Evan argued that there are circumstances when it might be in your best interest to not reveal your age.

I was intrigued about what Katz says about online dating. It seems that women give a younger age in order to find a man their own age and males give a younger age to find potential partners much younger than them.

I can see why people applying for employment will downplay their age and avoid mentioning it altogether so that they can get a foot in the door. It's the reality of our times.
However, the latin phrase falsus in uno, falsus in omnibus (false in one, false in all) applies here I think.

Personally, I just avoid mentioning my age until someone asks or I have to fill out a form. I could never imagine going on an online dating site trying to be younger than I am - surely the truth must come out at some point. The only exception was George. He didn't ask and I didn't tell, he just assumes all women are 25, lol.


What do you think, is it ever ok to lie about your age?

112 comments:

  1. I look at it this way, what is the intent of the person asking the question?

    Department of Motor vehicles = accurate age

    Future employer = +3 years

    Snooty mom at my kid's elementary school = -7

    So yes, I guess I'm cool with fibbing a little bit when it comes to age. It's just a number, not a definer.

    I'm 37 :-)

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  2. Your a baby and I LOVE your answer!!!

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  3. I thought Erin's answer was great. When I was online dating, I preferred to be my age. I figure if I meet Mr. Right, I would hate to find out that our relationship is based on a lie about my age. Plus, I was never really interested in dating someone younger than me so I kept it real.

    My mom and grandmother never tell their age. I just don't get it.

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  4. I am proud to be less than a month away from 42. I worked hard for all that I have become and it only took 42 years!!!

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  5. I haven't ever had any inkling to lie about it. Funny, I have a post set to go tomorrow about age too!

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  6. @ Chocolate Daydreams - yes I know my grand mothers were the same until one turned 85 or so then used to tell everyone she met!! I agree on the online dating, its kind of sad people think they have to but many guys are looking for way younger partners according to that CBS report.

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  7. Haven´t lied yet....but the feeling to do so is there! Turning 40 was not that bad for me, but now that it´s getting close to 50 I´m freaking out! :)

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  8. @ Betty, give we are similar ages I am with you. Although look at Madonna she is older than us....

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  9. @ Chocolate covered daydreams - yes grandmothers are like that. Except when mine turned 85 she told everyone and was wearing her age like a badge of honor.

    @ Me - hell yes, youve earnt it. I would never want to be 20 or 30 again.

    @ Debbie - cant wait for your post - we must be on the same 'train of thought'.

    @ Banoffi - interesting about the online dating but not surprising I guess.

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  10. As you know I am pudgy 5 3" and 38. I tell people I am 120lbs, 5 8" and 21. No, I dont think they believe me but on the internet I am sure they would. A joke is a joke when clearly thats what it is' However, deceiving others in a way that they are using this info to make certain decisions is wrong.

    I think the economy being what it is means more older people will be trying to get work and will lie about their age because they are desperate.

    I know you are really 45 right? You are ancient, lol!!

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  11. Oh and you are really shocking at math - did you work out that calculation or throw some numbers in the air?

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  12. it was essential to buy beer when I was young.

    I thought it was a gender thing with women being more concerned. But after being laid-off I have learned (and been coached) to down play the age issue at any interview. Companies want younger hires.

    But I'm NOT going lie anymore about it because I can buy beer anywhere.

    Little story - daughter took grandson (just turned 4) to Blue Man Group show. For some reason they want everyone to be at least 5 so she told him to say he's five. I hope she doesn't get him a fake ID next.

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  13. @ Sarah my math ability is bad its true. Just not THAT bad. You are a Super Model you know that!

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  14. @ Lisleman - I think you are right there is such a thing as age discrimination in the workforce - it is so wrong. That includes teens and those over 40. Hell one day soon 2/3 of the population are going to be over 65.

    They just increased the retirement age by two years here in the last few days so more people are going to be working longer to help provide for the elderly.

    Cute story about your grandson. Yes I seem to recall my sister doing that on plane trips too - difference between child and adult fares.

    Downplay your age in your job interviews and focus on all your strengths. Then get down on the floor and do some pushups just to seal the deal (like that guy did at the Academy Awards once, I will never forget it, Jack Valance or something I think).

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  15. Hi Lilly. Really great post and perfect picture to go with it!
    I never lie about my age because I feel it really is just a number. I am 50...actually writing it down always shocks me...LOL...but anyway, I look, and most importantly, feel so much younger, and I'm enjoying my life, so why should I be ashamed and lie. In many ways being 50 is like being a teenager again, only with more money, my own home, and the keys to my own car!
    I love it!
    Have a Happy Day!

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  16. I'm 53 and have not lied about my age yet ...but I'm thinking from now on I might take a year OFF every birthday until I hit 40 again. xxx

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  17. @ The Chic Geek - yes its being content with wha tyou ahve achieved in life I think which allows us to feel more comfortable in owning our years.

    @ Sarah Lulu - hey you are getting yonger and younger anyway seemingly with each blog post. More confident and such an inspiration to those of us who arent there yet. Besides you are going to be a yummy grandmummy soon. I cant wait, HINT HINT to my daughter...

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  18. Oh and I forget to add in the post that while at the hospital yesterday another patient said of my father, "poor old guy". Then he said, "no wait a minute why am I saying that? He is younger than me." I said to him, "how old did he tell you he was?" He said, "65". I said, "well my father is 82". Yes, Des was lying about his age, arghhh. He thought it was a huge joke that they believed him.

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  19. Early on in my business career I lied about my age-- upwards! I was 28 with a "big" job and in "those days" older was better-- Sad part was everyone assumed I was 38. When I really hit 40 I decided to "come clean" but by then, no one cared how old I was. Of course today, if some one would like to "own my age", it's available for free :-) Great post!

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  20. @ Joanna - yes that is a great point that in terms of your career, being a little older is always an advantage particularly when you are still in your 20s. You are just in the same club as the rest of us - in the BEST years of our life. Whatever year we are in now. You achieved a lot too I bet so there is a lot more left to still do.

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  21. Love the picture Lilly excellent example for this post.

    Quite a thought provoking post, one that alot of people avoid talking about.

    I am 56 years young and like you avoid mentioning my age until someone asks or I have to fill out a form. It's not that I am embarrassed about how old I am because sometimes I act and feel like a 2 year old and sometimes I am as wise as an 80 year old. So here I am somewhere in the middle and enjoying what life is throwing at me.

    Give Des a big hug for me.

    Take care
    Peggy

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  22. OOOOh I am a believer in the latin phrase!! I feel no need to lie I worked for all my years I have obtained. (all frigging 48 of them) I am who I am..if I am too old...step off...LOL I get better each year, these years define who I am..don't like me...step off..LOL
    Oh, I have also noticed as I do get older to quote KK "I don't give a rip" what others think about me.. but don't mess with me.. YOU don't want all this coming on you...LOL

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  23. Never have lied about my age, never even occurs to me. In fact, I think so little about my age that when someone asks me what it is, I have to stop to calculate it. I can safely tell you (I just did the calculation) that I'm 55. All of this could be because my 83-year-young mother, Butterfly, lives in our guest house and acts like a 20-year-old. I can hardly keep up with her - seriously, she can hike 10 miles in the mountains with me without blinking an eye. So age has never been an issue in our family - and I've never understood the big deal about it. It is what it is and you are what you are - life's too short to worry about such things.

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  24. Des is too funny, lying about his age! haha

    I've always felt old, since I was about 16. I figure most people look their age, so I wouldn't lie about it, but i don't go volunteering the info either!

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  25. I have no problem telling people my age, except online for security reasons. Well, okay, if you really want to know, I'm 21 - LOL. I gave you a clue to my age, Lills under my post, The Fashion Stake. And I do agree with first commenter Em (first comment) who said age is 'just a number, not a definer' of who a person is.

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  26. Only when you are young :)

    Like you, I lied about my age when I was very young, declaring with outrage, "I'm a WOMAN!"

    Snort.

    I'm still a woman, just riper :)

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  27. When I was in single digits, I always looked admiringly at the teenage types. When I was 15 , I was dying to be 18. Went to gradschool in the US at 19, and couldnt wait to be 21 (I hate alcohol, incidentally ).

    Maybe its weird, but i will be 60 this year, and am quite excited about that. Has nothing to do with looks. If you look too young, they think you got plastic surgery or a makeover, and wonder how much you spend on beauty treatments. If you look old, they speak to you with respect, dont question you when you use the senior citizen facilities, say, a year ahead.

    So one enjoys ALL the years. Age is really in the mind. I can be whatever age i want.

    And there will be always people who call you Mom, Grandma, Aunt, as well as Daughter....so it all balances out....

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  28. Frankly, I'm so vain! I know I look younger than I am so it thrills me to tell people my age and watch their faces!! I'm gonna be 35 pretty soon!!!

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  29. Nah...never lied about my age here. I'm 25 and haven't wanted to be older or younger. Having said that, when I was 22, I would say I was 23 because I actually forgot and thought I was 23! That's not a lie, is it? :P

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  30. @ Peggy - you said it in a nutshell - somewhere in the middle is great - we have to make the most of it - yes I act like a two year old a lot - complete with tantrums and all, lol.

    @ Dar - that is great, you are feeling more self assured and confident in yourself the older you get. It is a good place, you are right.

    @ Tammy - well if your Mom can hike that far you are only in your teenage years. What a great role model she is about living life to the full. Thank you for stopping by my blog and leaving a comment.

    @ Christine - yes Des is a prankster. My mother went grey a long time before him so he used to tell people he married a much older woman. I would have cried, my mother laughed! I am with you Christine - keep it to yourself unless asked.

    @ Rowe - yes best not to give too much away online its true and yes I kind of could tell from that post. Age is not very relevant in the blogosphere I have notices - its all about how the mind and soul.

    @ GRAN - THAT IS THE LINE OF THE CENTURY - I AM STILL A WOMAN ONLY RIPER!!! I am going to use that often. I am ripe, and no, not overripe. Love it!!!

    @ Ugich - 60 is still young here not sure what it means for you there. You are so right though, you can be any age you want!!! Enjoy and I hope you have many celebrations this year planned. I love your last line about it all balancing out. True.

    @ Roshni, nothing wrong with being vain - you are young around these parts. I saw a woman today I would have guessed was in her 50s, she was 88. She came from Maritius and ha beautiful skin.

    @ Pysh Babbler - oh to be 25 again. That was a great age for me for many reasons. I think you are really coming to your own then. Things keep getting better and better!

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  31. Goddamit, woman! You LIED? You mean you're NOT 5 years younger than me?

    G.

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  32. I've never lied about my age but then again I was never going to be 60 before. It feels weird. My mother on the other hand is 79 and she's always telling everybody she's going to be 80 this year.
    Who knows? Maybe I'll be 59 forever.

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  33. I feel sorely tempted to, especially when people consistently over-estimate my age.

    But in India, lying is a necessity only if you are an unmarried woman. My maid, for instance, has been celebrating her 26th birthday for four consecutive years.

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  34. I've never lied about my age. I'm 56 and 9 months. Telling the truth lost me a few job prospects and that was when I was in my 40's. Their loss, not my problem. age discrimination is alive and well, that's for sure. In the job market anyway. And in some training facilities.

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  35. I have actually found myself in a rather different scenario - and have found myself adding a couple of years to my age in an employment setting.

    Age = experience

    Often employers appear to believe that if you are TOO young then you don't have enough life experience, or work experience.

    In this setting, a few extra years - especially when starting out are actually a benefit!

    For the last 5 years, I've told colleagues that I'm in my late 20's - never giving a number (its a womans perogative!)
    It doesn't seem to have done me any harm.

    Who knows, in a few years time, I may start back-pedalling

    Great post. xx

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  36. @ cjw666 - George, I see you are back. No, to you I will always be 25, your emotional age equivalent. There does that make you feel better? L.

    @ Kay - sweetie you are going to be a gorgeous 60 year old woman, gorgeous! Keep smiling!

    @ Sucharita - lying is a necesity if you are single? Oh thats sad dont you think?

    @ River - yes better to tell the truth rather than it backfire when they found out. Their loss, as you say.

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  37. Difficult... Here in Sweden, you have an ID number and the first digits are your date of birth, so you just cannot hide your age... Especially not in job interviews... So, it seems kind of pointless to lie about it on other occasions...

    As Lionel Shriver once said about her fifty years: "I've earned every one of them and am proud of it."

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  38. Ha - I just went back and read all your comments, and someone already made my point LOL, and more succintly!

    I guess that is the price I pay for being several many hours behind you ;o)

    x

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  39. @ Kimberley- I can absolutely understand why you would do this, You are only young and in a good job. Age discrimination in the workplace applies to people in teens/early 20s and again in 40s upwards. You made a really good point with this.

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  40. @ Lady Fi - thats interesting about the ID numbers. We only have our drivers licences I guess. No official ID as such.

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  41. While I do believe life is a creative journey, I don't advocate lying. I always think of the thin woman I knew as a child who never ate snacks, and said she didn't miss them. Then someone introduced her to those yukky Hostess iced pies; she adored them. She told my mom she was eating half of one a day. I swear, the next time we saw her, she was fat. I'm guessing she didn't keep it to half a pie a day. I think that happens with lying as well. ~Mary
    ps so no, never did lie about my age.

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  42. @ Mary - Great analogy! Beware the hostess pies and beware the lies.

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  43. Hi Lilly,
    I don't volunteer to tell my age either. However, if people ask, I ask them to guess. Usually, people
    guess younger. I then tell them my age. They're always surprised for the truth. Now, I just have to make sure that I won't let my white hair to take over my head, for the minute that happens, I'd look 20 years older. LOL.

    For legal forms, documents as such, of course, always the truth. and always write it down.

    Tasha

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  44. My friend is with someone who thinks she is 10 years younger than what she is. She looks it but I wonder what he is going to think when he finds out. Will he care I wonder about the deceit, interesting question. Interesting post.

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  45. Hi Lilly,
    It's me again. I see that I have some catching up to do. I'll come back later when I have more time to read. For now, my sister and I are going out for breakfast/lunch and then shopping.

    Tasha

    P.S. I'm still waiting for an email you said you were going to send me. Heehee.

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  46. I'm 42 and I like to brag about my age.

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  47. I don't see any reason to lie about my age. I'm 48. I'm not going to pass for 30!

    Wait, maybe if I say I'm 58 people will tell me how amazing I look!!!!

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  48. Intriguing thoughts as usual. I haven't lied. I too would not wish to go back to most ages. I love being 41, I know myself so much better, I have so many blessings, and I KNOW it and can appreciate it. Ask me today when I am 9 years away from 50 and the idea of 50 doesn't scare me... but ask me at 49, and we'll see!

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  49. hahaha...love Em's comment. Good one. I am protective of my age and many other things, because of the abuse I have gone through.

    Thinking of you. *hugs*

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  50. Own the age... I'm 41 soon... so what!

    The truth always comes out anyway...

    I would rather be old, than called a liar.

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  51. When I was a teenager I constantly lied about my age to gain entrance to pubs etc.
    Nowadays I still tell the odd fib, but what I want to know is why will nobody believe me when I say, "I'm twenty?"

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  52. I have no problem telling people my age. It's all about how you feel inside :D

    Once my FIL asked me how much I weigh - Now THAT is another story - hee hee.

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  53. Never done it, as I actually like getting older :)

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  54. I never lie about my age per se. But I did tell someone the other day that I was 24 when I'm 26??

    I really thought I was 24 in that moment!

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  55. I showed a lot of peope my driver's licence at my Gold Coast conference, with my finger over my birthdate - 'cause it was such a fabulous picture of me!

    No, I NEVER tell anyone my age. For the past few years I have just told them, I am younger than Madonna - because I am!

    I get asked my age CONSTANTLY!

    At work, they made us put our full birthday on the photocopier pin number, to log in to it. So I put 1920 as my birth year.

    Everyone but me put the correct year.

    No, I NEVER tell anyone my age.

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  56. @ Tashabud - well its because you look way younger than what you are. Hope you had fun with your sister! And yes I will be emailing you.

    @ Rebecca - yes well you do not look anywhere near your age either. I would have guessed early 30s. I want your secret.

    @ Julie, honey you look amazing as it is and who wants to be 30 again!

    @ Vicky - no its inevitable isnt it. Enjoy it and its only as scary as we let it be I guess.

    @ Paris, understandably so too. You have a great future ahead though.

    @ Saundra - I would rather be old than a liar. Too true. Great line.

    @ Jon, what? You mean to say you arent 20? I bet you are still get ID'd to get into the pub.

    @ Cherie - oh yes, now I never thought of that - how much you weigh is way more horrible than how old you are.

    @ Braja - some parts I like others not, but I am accepting.

    @ jkt - too funny, what you are misleading people and you are still only in your 20s? Or are you just becoming forgetful in your old age.

    @ Leslie - that is hilarious. Yes I am guessing we are around the same age or so. I am with you. People dont need to know. Besides for someone born in 1920 you are looking FABULOUS!!!

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  57. Hmmmmm... I’ve been thinking about this one. Me thinks once I’m on the ‘wrong side’ of 40 I might start lying about my age... at the moment at 37 I’m still on the ‘right side’ of 40 (lol). To be honest, I think age is just a number but society does make such a big deal about it... and it seems to matter more the older we get. In fact, in the last few weeks I have been musing on the question whether I will soon be classed as a ‘middle aged woman’... it’s very strange to think of myself as such (chuckle)... I guess I’m bracing myself – trying to embrace the ‘dawning of my middle age years’ :)

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  58. @ Cath - you know its interesting isnt it? I recall my Mother had her fifth child at 36. She said she felt so old at that age to be having a baby and was made to feel like that in the hospital. Society is warped in many ways. Middleaged - who knows when that is. How long will we live? Just assume you are going to live to 100 so you have years left Cath before you hit middleage. Besides, I want to see a few books with your name on it before too long! You talented young thing you.

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  59. I can honestly say I have never lied about my age. When I hit 40, I felt 25, at 50, I felt 35 and at 60, I felt 40. Approaching 68 in September, I must confess I'm beginning to feel many more aches and pains, but my outlook is still fresh and young. I once had a great affair with a man 20 years younger than me ~ it was divine! Age is irrelevant.

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  60. @ Helen - and you can tell this by your writing, your music and looking at you. Thanks for inpsiring all of us. Age is irrelevant. BRAVO!!!!

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  61. I don't FEEL my numerical age...
    so...I guess if I give a believable number LOL....

    Seriously though if it is a legitimate serious inquiry one has to be truthful.

    And in all honesty...I have to recount mine everytime! LOL

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  62. It is ALWAYS okay to lie about your age and your weight. lol

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  63. @ The Muse - be the age you feel regardless of your birth certificate - yep save the real DOB for the serious stuff.

    @ Rhonda - rather be honest about age than weight!!

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  64. i have lied about my age once..when i was 14 and lied to buy beer..don't know why i lied, back then in chandler, arizona as long as you had the money, you could buy beer..i'm proud of being 65...and of my gray hair..ive earned each and every one of them..and the way i lived my life..im just glad to still be here..

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  65. @ yellowdog granny - yes you are right. I am not letting my grey hair see the light of day until I am a grandmother at least....

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  66. I try not to lie about anything but sometimes I forget how old I am and have to do a little quick mental math!

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  67. Lie about my age, never... unless it involves the opportunity of having sex with someone in their 20s!

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  68. One must have such a good memory to lie Lilly - not worth it at any age.
    June also in Oz

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  69. @Lilly: Phew! Much better... :) G.

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  70. @ theungourmet - I was bad at maths - is that an excuse do you think?

    @ beaverboosh - I am sure I have met you in a previous life somewhere....

    @ June - yes forgetting things, its a web that is hard to untangle once you start.

    @ cjw666 - glad we have an understanding, nudge, nudge, wink, wink!

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  71. Too neurotic to lie:)...although once when I was 16, I did say that I was 18 to hook my first job in the restaurant business. That'll teach me - 25 years and a bizillion hours later, I probably shouldn't have lied:)
    Now at 45, I'm just happy to have come this far...I love getting older and hopefully wiser:)

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  72. @ whimsicalpam - 25 years and a bizillion hours later in the restaurant business. You deserve to lie all you want. That is tough work!

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  73. I don't lie about my age. At least not intentionally. I was telling people that I had just turned 41 when I was actually 42, but I wasn't lying...I honestly forgot, briefly. LOL

    I teach high school, so my students usually ask. I'll tell them to guess. They always say they think I'm somewhere between 35 and 38, so I feel pretty good about saying I'm 42. :)

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  74. I don't recall lying much about my age except when I went back to school at age 19 and pretended I was 17 . My nearly 6yo asked me the other day "how many years" I was, I said 37, she replied 'oh God, thats a lot... thats more than 30."... yeah... thanks

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  75. I don't think I've ever lied about my age. I especially like it when people don't believe I'm 53. they often think I'm in my 40s. Now if I lose weight and the wrinkles start showing up, then I'll look my age!

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  76. I give my correct age which is 77 always hoping someone will say "Never. I thought you were about 50 "or " I don't believe ii . You're joking " My brother who is seven years older than me has worn better and he is often taken to be younger than me( Gr ....gr....gr....)

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  77. Stopping over from SITS! Great post. I use to, but I don't care anymore.

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  78. I don't lie about my age but know people who do. I once worked with a lady that had lied about her age all her life even on employment forms. When she was old enough to draw her social security and retirement they would not give it to her and she spent months trying to get it all worked out. It really bothered me when I turned 30I was depressed for weeks. After I accepted it, I never got upset over my age again. It is just a number anyway! lol.

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  79. GSaturday morning to you, Lilly.

    I used to lie a lot when I was young - even into my 20's - and ALWAYS got caught. I realized I didn't like the consequences, and changed it.
    Now I never have to remember what I said - because it's true.

    And, my age - 51 - is what it is, so if I'm truthful, nobody ever feels deceived.

    If some guy wouldn't have wanted me because I wasn't young enough - well, he would have found out eventually anyway, and the flack would be worse down the road.

    I try not to create problems for myself, and not telling the truth - creates them, about anything...

    I may not volunteer something - but I'll tell if asked !
    It just makes my relationships cleaner...

    So I tell the truth not because I'm a goody-goody but because I don't want to hurt myself.

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  80. @ Trina - yes kids can say the darnest things - I would take that as a huge compliment.

    @ Dee - oh God thats a lot, lol. It is compared to her I guess.

    @ Joanie - yes they say we have 2 choices our backsides or faces as we age.

    @ Robbie - good attitude.

    @ Barbara - yes my brother is the same - grrrrrrrrr

    @ Judy - yes I recall 30 being way worse than 40 - that lady really got herself into a mess.

    @ Annie - you are right there is nothing more freeing than living an authentic life. Truth is best even though I dont personally volunteer the info.

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  81. I think you should tell the truth. Lying about it seems pretty shady. Entering groups and circles under false pretenses is never really a good idea.

    Also when you get found out it is normally one of those lies where people might not look at you the same again.


    I think in the face of certain types of discrimination it might be ok though...

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  82. That pesky little number that represents our age, does not necessarily reflect how old we are. They say your only as old as you feel. Darn, that means that sometimes I'm 99, and sometimes I'm 17.

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  83. I turned 31 last week, and I jokingly said on my Facebook status I was turning 23. Most people didn't believe me. :)

    I am proud of my age, but women get so hung up on it for some reason!

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  84. I lied when I was younger to be older. Now, I'm beyond the point when I can fib - I've stopped coloring my hair. Even when I shave jobs off my resume (and the years they represent), I am still middle-aged. glad to be here. I basically try to use technology to allow me to get my foot in the door. I also find that having a community of bloggers who bring delightful people like Lilly into your life no matter how young and old she is - makes most of the age stuff not matter.

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  85. @ Prometheus - good points, a lie is a lie but I also know why people are downplying their ages to find work these days.

    @ Eric - does this mean you pushed the wife off the computer or she is out for the night YOU'RE BACK! Yes I like that we are many ages depending on the day....and what weve had to drink the night before. Still not smoking?

    @ Can-can - oh that's sweet. Thats what I have oticed on blogger age is pretty well irrelevant!

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  86. hey lilly...it's danyele from project{create a home}...checking in with you on your comment...how are things?

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  87. I can't recall ever lying about my age (well, except for when I was 17/18 and up-playing my age to get into bars); I'm 42 now and more than happy to be so. I know when I was a teenager I couldn't wait to get older and, now that I finally have reached that goal, I can see why I couldn't wait...I think it's a total blast! Definitely looking forward to 43, "woot, woot." ;-)

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  88. Hey Lilly
    People have begun to send me Paint pix they've done for inclusion in my next post. I'll 'hang ' them alongside links to the artists' web site. How about joining in? You commented on 70 Plus and Still Kicking that you were going to have a go, so there's a challenge.
    Stick figures or pseudo Rembrandts it doesn't matter!It's easy at any level of skill.

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  89. http://www.papermoonies.blogspot.com17 May 2009 14:52

    coming over from sits
    could not follow you?
    I think you can tell people what ever you want it is up to you, the person.
    I dont lie because I am trying to come to terms with it..
    I am hosting an arty giveaway to end this weekend.
    Come check it out.
    Brittany
    http://www.papermoonies.blogspot.com

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  90. @ Mommaof4wife2r - aw thanks for dropping by.

    @ Kristina - geez you are so old. howo did you get so be so hilarious for someone so young, lol!!

    @ Misstfied - love your attitude, you go girl!1

    @ June - oh the pressure, pressure, ok I will give it a go, a piece of Lilly artwork on the way.

    @ Brittany, oh you can follow via the frop on the right rather than Blogger. Glad you stopped by from SITS.

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  91. this is such a thought provoking post and I loved reading what everyone else had to say!
    ~Emily

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  92. @ Ravenhill, glad you stopped by - yes everyone had some great contributions to the discussion. Its been great!!

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  93. Hey Lilly :o)

    I have just recently signed onto internet dating for the first time in my life. It is quite overwhelming and I can completely agree with the minefield around age. I personally feel that once one starts to lie, those lies just grow and grow. It's better to say nothing, or to tell the truth.

    ps. I love your blog and will be popping by often!!! :o)

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  94. Oh,.. I don't numbers! I have been 22 years old since,.. uhm,.. yeah, don't do numbers!
    Hahahaha,...

    Great read as always!

    And thanks for the comments on my blog! Much appreciated,...

    Ps. Am working very hard on my relationship with Google~

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  95. @ Getty72, why thankyou, please come back again. Good luck with the internet dating. I am just not that game at this point but it seems the popular way to go adn I have heard many good outcomes too!.

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  96. @ Whitsockgirl - you do know Google is a two time extraordinaire - oh yes puts it out everywhere and anywhere...thanks for dropping by!!

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  97. I never lie about my age but I don't bring it up either. I feel so ageless...timeless....that I hate to give people who perhaps don't think so openly about age a point of reference with which to pigeonhole me!

    About those dating sites (with which I'm quite familiar), what gets me is these 67 year old guys requesting contact from women 30 to 50. Geeze! Or 50 looking for 20 to 30 year olds. What's that about?

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  98. Eh . . . age schmage . . . it took me 40 years to figure out that I am who I am and I like that! If someone asks I tell em. (48).

    PS I could use some help over at lipstickdaily. Kate won't delete the 19,000 photos on her mac. I'm doing a photo delete detox. Any supportive comments would be helpful!

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  99. @ Anya - great point and that is why blogging is so good as no-one can pigeonhole you. As for men requesting women 30 years younger than them - wishful thinking I guess. Who knows I dont have the answers on that one. Except I have been spending time at the hospital with men in their 70s and all their wives are sitting there tending to them - no sure younger women know what they are in for....

    @ Elaine - 19,000 photos, oh dear that is a big job. I need to do something similar. I shall be over!!

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  100. Helena (Scotland)18 May 2009 10:00

    My mother has lied about her age from birth I do believe. In fact if I had not done my family tree and verified her birth then I would think the women was 10 years younger than she really is. It's a family joke now of course. I think women in particular are far more up front about their ages then they were in the past. Really interesting comments from lots of people.

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  101. What is all this posting about age? First I read Debbie's at Suburb Sanity, and now this post. You guys are great. This is my first time here, and I'm enjoying your posts.

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  102. @ Helena - oh dear, how funny is your Mum. Here secret's isnt really a secret it seems.

    @ 2nd cup of coffee - I know Debbie mentioned that she was also talking about this as well. I am fixated as I have been spending time with my Dad is hospital and surrounded by elderly people..lol! Thanks for dropping by and do come back again!

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  103. This is a very interesting question. What do we gain by lying about are age? If anything the gain would only be temporary and if it is in a relationship then we just started out the relationship with a lie. Not a good start. I would say no, best to be honest if asked. If not asked then no one needs be the wiser. It is all a matter of perception in the end.

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  104. When I was younger, people thought I was older than my age. Now people think I'm in high school and constantly ask for my parents when they come to my house to sell things. I'm not complaining. :)

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  105. Ehh...I'm 37. I won't tell someone I'm not. Although sometimes I wish I were still in my 20's (for instance, the skin underneath your arms DEFINITELY loosens no matter how much you exercise them - here we come batwings), I'm cool with where I'm at. And I figure 10 years from now, I'll be in an even better place - financially, emotionally, and career-wise.

    Age, Schmage.

    BTW - I DID go golfing on Mother's Day. ANd it was fantastic!!!

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  106. You are absolutely right about the age process, I never thought I would reach 75 and on the way to getting here I never gave it a thought, woke up one morning and said I'll be darn I'm 75, ha, ha. This is a great post as usual, you probably are right about online dating, because men preferr younger chicks, saying you are younger would work. I think a woman has the God given right to lie about their age.

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  107. @ Mark - yes everything is about perception and often we forget that is the very thing we are dealing with all the time - everyones reality is different.

    @ The Blonde Duck - thats funy, I recall my daughter used to answer the phone and the caller would say to here, can you go get mummy or daddy, lol. She hated it.

    @ Tami - honey you are only young, enjoy it, batwings and all. The best is yet to come...

    @ Margaret - interestingly when it comes to blogging its hard to tell someone's age. Some 75 year olds like you are more open minded than some 30 year olds. Its wonderful!!!

    @

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  108. I am 52. I don't feel the need to lie about my age. I think I felt old at 35, but as the children approached their teens, I felt younger by the day. And I realised as I grew older, they were too, and I enjoyed sharing their growing up. Being with them and their friends was nice. Now one of them is married. And I look forward to the day I become a grandmother.

    And honestly, I do not think I can take the pressures of life anymore. They are so different from what we went through some 30 years ago!!

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  109. @ radha - That is a lovely comment and thank you for visiting my blog. The pressures are certainly different now and kids today have it tough because of all the choices open to them.

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  110. LOL, naw I had to sneak on the computer early in the morning. Since she is staying up late now I have to adjust to get my computer time. This really ****'* if you know what I mean. I just can't bring myself to "kick her off" I'm just too nice i guess, LOL.

    Today, I stayed late at work to get some time on line. This is really pitiful of me, LOL.

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  111. I would never lie about this; I worked hard to get to 51 (and a half) and I work hard at looking good at this age. I celebrate and flaunt my age!

    In the dating world, it would probably be a deal-breaker for me if the guy lied about his age. I would interpret that as his not being comfortable with himself as he is, and therefore he probably would not be comfortable with me as I am.

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  112. @ Eric - oh dear now you did create this monster - I guess your wife saw you on the internet having fun and now she has joined too. Is she blogging by the way? Take Care and I hope you can get a post in every now and then because I miss you!

    @ LindaLou - That is such a good comment - you are right what it means is that if we lie we are uncomfortable about ourselves. not conducive to stable relationships hey?

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Thanks for your comments. I love reading what you have to say.