It's official, Australia is finally in Recession. The Recession we had to have.
Yes, I know, we aren't very original are we.
All the signs were staring me in the face today. It was strangely ..... quite stimulating.
My daughter rang to say that, "Kev came through for me last night". I told her that some things a mother doesn't really need to hear. She explained that she was referring to the "stimulus payment she got in her bank account overnight". (Kevin is our Prime Minister and the bonus payments are being issued to most tax payers to boost spending and help the economy).
While at the shopping centre I noticed this advertisement in the window of a Peter Alexander store. Unusual marketing concept. Strangely enough, it works for me (what do you except, he has been sleeping around for 20 years - Peter is a bedwear designer and now has stores in the USA).
I bought a pair of shoes. Well a girl has to do her own part to stimulate the economy. The salesperson said, "Now you can choose any handbag in the store". "Excuse me?" I said. "Well", she grinned, "with every pair of shoes you buy, you get a handbag for free. You can choose any bag in the store." Go figure. The bag was more expensive than the shoes. How can they afford to do that? I almost felt guilty....for a second.
Finally, I called by my parent's house and Des was doing some secret sales business on the phone. His side of the conversation went like this.
"I am looking for a new Panasonic DVD player".
"No, sorry, I don't know the model number. I have a catalogue here but I cannot read the number properly because I'm almost blind. And there is no-one here to read it for me. All I know is, it's $499."
"No, I would like to but I can't get into the store because I am crippled. I would have to send my daughter in to pick it up for me. What is the best price you can give me?"
"Oh, that can't be right. Did I hear you right? I'm deaf you know. Surely you can do better than that. I spend a lot of time watching videos as I can't move around much. I'm 82. Watching videos is about as stimulating as it gets at my age".
"Thank you very much that is very kind. Can you put one aside with my name on it and my daughter will come in and pick it up."
He gets off the phone smiling. Bernie Madoff is that you? No he didn’t lie. He cannot walk without help, is very deaf and he is almost blind. Don't feel sorry for him. He knows exactly what angle to work it. After all, he has been working some angle or other all his life and has always managed to get a bargain on everything he buys.
Now I just have to go in and pick up his DVD player ....
And, in the spirit of sharing in these harsh economic times, I am prepared to hire him out to do your buying. His overheads are low. He just needs a comfy chair, a phone and the occasional nip of whisky. And best of all, he is very agreeable.
Have yourself a stimulating day won't you?