Monday 30 March 2009

Madonna found Jesus

And I found out that my mind opens and closes with the same degree of difficulty that an old rusty piano accordion might.

Do you ever get shocked about what comes out of your mouth and how narrow minded you seem? Even to yourself?

I said something about Madonna today which made me want to slap myself.

My mind's arteries are narrowing.

I have bypassed sounding like my mother and now sound dangerously like my grandmother. If you hear me sprouting yellow peril sentiments soon, such as you'll need to hide under your bed because China is going to attack us soon, you'll know that my mind is closed for good (you think I'm joking about her saying that don't you).

I just saw a picture of 50 year old Madonna with her 22 year old boyfriend Jesus (the whole name combo is a little too contrived for my liking but whatever...).

I looked at their picture and the first words out of my mouth were "She looks like his mother. It's just plain embarrassing. Someone has to tell her she looks ridiculous. She is way too old for him." I know, I should have been saying, 'way to go Madonna', but I just cannot bring myself to do so.

Five minutes earlier I was cooing over the wedding pictures of 29 year old millionaire Australian model Kristy Hinze who has just married 65 year old Netscape founder and billionaire Jim Moneybags (oh, I forget his name but surnames aren't necessary when you are that rich). Why is this any more acceptable to me. Hardly fair is it?


OK so they are just people I do not even know. I guess the real litmus test is this - how would you react if your son bought home a girlfriend 30 years older than him or your daughter bought home a boyfriend 35 years older than her? I would call the police ....I am joking....sort of. Let's just say it would take me a long time to get used to the idea even though I know its not my decision to make.

What do you think, is age really just a number? Does it really matter?


PS. I may need to have a more open mind about these things. I am guessing that it's more than likely that one day soon you will be oohing and ahhing over pictures of me with a 20 year old toy boy (I will be the one pushing him in his stroller. In another few years he will be the one pushing me in mine, haaaaaa-aaaardly).

Before I go, I have a story to tell you about a 'mistake' I made recently with an older man/younger woman. I ran into an old boss of mine. He was happily bouncing along (that should have given me a clue) hand in hand with 'what I thought' was a teenage school girl. He stopped to chat and I looked at the girl and asked her how school was going. I thought she was his daughter. He introduced me to his wife. I walked away with a rosy glow on my cheeks that no doubt equalled his. Oops!



76 comments:

  1. Hilarious hilarious and hilarious. By the time I finished reading the full post, I was confused as to which youger/older celeb was dating/marrying a much younger/older partner. But I got the gist of the whole thing by the time I read your future toy boy, you pushing his pram and then him pushing your wheel chair...oooops. Did I get it right ?
    Come to think of it, you are absolutely right about the Asian fiasco. wait till you see the OIL rich arabs OLD & Young alike being escorted in Bangkok with a 16 year old chick on one arm and a rosary (praying to God) on the other arm.

    Not kidding Lilly...!!!

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  2. What I can't understand is why any woman would want to open her ego up to the pounding it's going to take when they're standing side by side in front of the bathroom mirror, naked. Isn't growing old tough enough?

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  3. I never think about it I guess, but after this post, I'm kinda nauseaus.
    The model cant be in it for money--she has a ton of her own, Madonna is probably in it for the stamina of the young guy and probably for her ego of--Look at me I can still nail the young ones..by the way he's homely as all get out.
    I think its more of something is wrong with some of these people..they are seriously missing something in their life and trying to find it in doing this. A few years I can handle but nearly 30??? something is wrong.

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  4. You crack me up Grandma Lilly!

    I am always slapping myself for my narrow minded thoughts and actions.

    It is called "being human". I try and live by the motto "live and let live and not be judgemental but sometimes "Granny Peggy" steps up and says......

    Your posts always give me food for thought and puts a smile on my dial.

    Peggy

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  5. Interesting how different people see things differently. I think Madonna and her boy toy look good together. If anyone makes 50 look like the new 30 it's Madonna, so really, that makes them only eight years apart and that's not so bad. As far as the model and the billionaire are concerned, those pics totally grossed me out! He's practically old enough to be her grandfather. ICK!!! Granted, he's a good-looking guy but he looks every bit of his 65 years. (36 year difference? Um, I'm just saying...)

    At the same time, who really cares? Whatever floats their boat.

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  6. His name is seriously Jesus?

    I bet her Kabbalah sponsor wants her red bracelet back.

    Or has Madonna dropped that trend as well?

    Oops, there I go being all judgmental. But have you seen the arms on that "woman?" Zowweee.

    Jesus better behave!!

    (and I'm pretty cool with the older/younger thing. Just look at Ashton and Demi - not joking, they look like they're having a great life. If it works, it works.)

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  7. Hilarious!

    You do make a good point though... it's sheer double standards when it's OK for a middle-aged man to date a teenage girl but not vice versa.

    Way to go Madonna - is all I can say. Thank goodness she is breaking the mould and paving the way for us more mature women! ;-)

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  8. Miss Lilly, Miss Lilly, Miss Lilly...

    To be honest, I think there is nothing wrong with, say a 15 year age difference. Once the other person, though, is old enough to be your parent and has great, laughable, "remember when" conversations with your grandparents, it is just plain wrong.

    That said, however, I think we are much harder on the woman with the boy toy than we are on the geezer with the floozy slut. (See, there I go getting all nasty to the female! lol What about the whole pedophile concept?? Ick!) I think Demi and Ashton are adorable. Likewise, Bruce and his young'un. lol

    As women, we too harshly judge our own when we need to support each other. We're so mean to each other.... We judge parenting, weight, husbands, fashion, hair. Sigh...

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  9. Lilly;

    I am definately on your ship. I do find myself thinking how desperate it looks for a women 20 or more years older then her b-toy! Then I slap myself and say "are you jealous" then I slap myself again and say "no I'm just not that secure"
    After I awake from being unconciuous, I settle down and I say "whatever!"

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  10. I'm not quite sure where you're coming from here so I'll just answer the question: YES age is just a number and people are just people, whatever their age! If they want to take whatever risks are involved in changing their appearance, it's their affair alone.

    That's what I think anyway :)

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  11. I do think any adult being with a child or teenager is just dead wrong. But a 40 something year old woman with a 20 something year old man is simply none of my concern. If they are happy I'm happy for them.

    Just my two cents.

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  12. The issue with Madonna isn't about the age difference, Gut Richie was a lot younger than her. There are many healthy older woman/younger man relationships such as Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell, or Susan Saradon and Tim Robbins etc. But Madonna needs to push the envelope, remember when she wanted to have a baby with Dennis Rodman? OMG! Her relationship with Sean Penn was the only one that seemed to be about equals was and it was a disaster.

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  13. I think it's bizarre either way. I'm only 4 years older than my husband and there's a bit of a generation gap.

    I like what you said about middle-aged women with plastic surgery. I've been seriously thinking about getting Restalyne or Juvederm injections, but I'm not so sure now.

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  14. ps. One time I saw a bit of graffiti in Miami that said "Jesus loves Rebecca."

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  15. Lilly, BTW: Check out my latest post on the Tommy Emmanuel show!!

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  16. Don't judge until you've walked a mile in their shoes. My husband is 22 years older than me. I joke that I'm a trophy wife . . . and he jokes that he's a trophy husband. We have separate independently successful careers and two fabulous young children . . . younger than his granddaughter. It works for us . . . though I never would have imagined I would be here 20 yeras ago. And you know what? I'm grateful that I am.

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  17. I'm with you on this one. You know that her thigh skin wrinkles up and looks like chicken skin and he secretly is thinking, "GUHROSS. But it's Madonna so I'm going to keep going. With my eyes closed. Then I'm going to tell everyone in my playgroup that I schtupped Madonna and she has wrinkly chicken skin."

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  18. Ah, Lilly, you do manage to start my day with a huge laugh! Funny when I was in my 20s I tended to date older guys -- not that much older though! Then as I got older I found myself dating younger than me guys -- again not that much younger. My ex was three years younger. But I stopped "dating" years ago, have some great men friends that are the best, but dating?? no, I don't think so, like Susan says I'd hate to get schtupped and then have them spread the word about my wrinkly chicken skin! Some things just shouldn't be viewed after a certain age -- unless you're really into that particular brand of laughter.

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  19. All I can say is: Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwe!!!

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  20. Hi Lilly :) I agree with you, he looks like her son. I have a 23-year old son and at times, I have to admit, I've taken a peek at his young friends and thought oh, my, wouldn't that be fun. But in reality, that's all it would be because they just don't have the life experience to keep my interest. It's probably the same for men too...I often find older men may love talking to me, flirting, but they will end up with the younger woman. Often they aren't happy in the end because the younger woman wants kids, and they're right back where they started with the older wife they divorced. But I also feel that if you can find love wherever, if that's what it really is, with a spiritual connection with anyone, who am I to judge. I wouldn't like the feeling of people thinking my lover was my son...ewwwww! My son would be grossed out too.

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  21. Must say the model and millionare look like grandfather and granddaughter .... so much for that! Madonna needs to set her lovely daughter up with her new toy! However, as much as I thought Ashton and Demi looked 'wrong' in the beginning, they are beginning to grow on me a bit. The biggest age difference I have experienced in my life was eleven years ... and now that I'm close to 68 and he will turn 79 I'm relieved it didn't last. So, dear Grandma Lilly, that's it for today! Thank you for the lovely compliment ........

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  22. What a thought provoking post! I actually say 'good for Madonna', I think I could get used to that scenario! The much older man and teenager types bother me, call me judgemental. But maybe Jesus is afer her money too!

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  23. remember, they will be more 'experienced'! Which seems to be what the average 20-something red-blooded male wants!
    Seriously, both older-younger combination creep me out specially with celebrities coz I know the younger one is just there to hitch a ride to fame and money (not that the others may not be but this one is so obvious)!

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  24. I'm pretty sure that in both of these instances....Money is the key. I have a feeling that the young man would have nothing to do with the elder Madonna if she wasn't rich and famous...and the same thing goes with the model and the billionaire. To me it's just sad. Why would you want that kind of relationship? I would hate to think someone was with me purely because of what I could buy for them. I think they both must be very sad and lonely on the inside. True love has nothing to do with monetary gain...and TRUE love is the best gift we can ever receive.

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  25. Well, put your mind at ease. Madonna has dumped Jesus (and that whole sentence is just wrong!). Seems that the authorities in Malawai are actually taking a look at her and her lifestyle before they (sell) give her another child that already has a family. 'Cause it is all about her.

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  26. Lilly~the thing about war with
    china is real Rev.9:14-16 it is
    called the sixth trumpet war and
    should happen while we(usa) are in
    iraq, likely the next five years or
    so. will be nuclear primarily and
    will destroy a third of earth's
    population(2.2 billion) it is a
    very sad prophecy.

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  27. My daughter-in-law is 5 years older than my son, but I would have had a hissy fit if he introduced me to someone.


    Celebs are different, I guess. Demi Moore married Ashton Kutcher. And Madonna is, well, Madonna.

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  28. I think Madonna like so many women can't face the fact they are getting older. She does look like his mother!

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  29. I think Kristy and Jim look just as oddly matched as Madonna and her toy friend, Jesus. Jim looks like he could be Kristy's grandfather. I know that what people look like has nothing to do with who they are, BUT neither of these couplings work for me. I had a toy boy fling quite a few years ago, and a man friend at the time, more suited to my age group, joked to me he was still in nappies and how right he was!

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  30. I think age doesn't matter in the beginning. Heck, nothing matters in the beginning. But it almost always matters once the relationship begins maturing, which it probably won't.

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  31. Okay. JFrancis just scared me a bit. But so does the idea of marrying someone who is my dad's age. Eeeeek!

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  32. Well we just don't know what goes on in those bedrooms, do we?

    I'd like to say I don't think age matters, but I believe it probably does in the long run. In the short run, however, individual things like money and sex might even the playing field.

    Now, Lilly, about plastic surgery. I'm all for it, myself. Of course I'm 61. Can't afford it though just now. So maybe I would just look like a 61 year old woman who had plastic surgery but I'd be a 61 year old woman with firm cheeks who had plastic surgery! Ha! Just wait till I win the lottery.

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  33. Here's a weird factoid. Madonna had a hit song in 1986 "Papa Don't Preach" about an unwed mother.

    The unborn child in the song could have been her current boy-toy.

    Jesus!

    Peace - Rene

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  34. Why would she WANT someone that much younger? I mean, yes, he's handsome, but can you imagine how tiring the conversations could be? All the things that young Jesus is just finding out about the world? Madonna's known them for years. Or maybe she's just not that interesting in real life?
    Pearl

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  35. Amazing contrast between the two couples! W

    e have friends in England who have a close female relative who is 70, and her husband of 25+ years is 45Our friends say the marriage has been very successful and only recently are they dealing with her slowing down due to age. I find it all amazing and can only say good for them to have done what they wanted to do as I'm sure there were many eyebrows raised then (and now).

    Interesting post!

    Cheers.

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  36. Lilly - you get funnier and funnier , but where money is concerned age has no barriers if you have it you can buy off anyone you want.

    I agree with Pearl too - what would you talk about and there is only so much sex ..

    Wonder if Jim & Kirsty had wheelchairs,a walking stick and viagra on the registry gift list!

    I just got a joke email this morning of a very, hideously ugly and overweight man who got a new beautiful girlfriend ...when he won the lottery !

    All jokes aside it is very sad like Nikkicrumpet said...monye can't buy true love.

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  37. It does kind of skeeve me honestly... but I feel mostly the same way about the other scenario too. Ewwww. Who would want to sleep with their son's friends? or their dad's friends? I know, I know. I'm all judgemental. Trust me -- none of you want to sleep with my husband either. Whatever! Still, one of my best girlfriends is married to a guy with kids that are literally younger than her! She's like his third wife and they'be been together for about ten years... he's too old to go lookin' -- I guess it works for them. Wow. I'm rambling... did I mention I had 5 shots of espresso today? Sorry. Funny post Lil!

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  38. okay... meant older than her... but only by a year or two... LOL!
    Ewwwww.

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  39. Hi there Lilly!

    I really think age matters. I also prefer it if the guy is older for like 30 years than the girl. But Madonna and that guy Jesus? No.. please, no. I think Jesus is hot and their relationship seemed to happen so fast, probably just a whirlwind romance that would die half a year later.

    But hey.. if she's happy..

    I think it's alright to sound immature at times - just as long as it doesn't happen often LOL.

    Maybe society is not ready for this kind of issue!

    Much Love,

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  40. My ex married a woman 14 younger than him. I hope people mistake her for his daughter often! I kept thinking, when I first found out about her.... she 11 when we got married!
    I just can't imagine being with a man who is 66 or 67!

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  41. I could probably tolerate 10 years difference either side but any more would be wrong for many reasons. Unless you looked like Demi Moore who has been naturally blessed without all the surgeries she has had then forget it. She is not your typical 46 year old. Its more than about looks though. when you start to be older than their kids or older than your in laws then its ridiculous. Old age is hard to go through, so why make that journey with someone before you need to. Also, these young women who are having chldren to old men who wont see them grow up are just stupid. Truly. Rupert Murdoch, take note. Yes I feel strongly about this too. Anyone who has had a far older father will understand. I would have preferred my father in my life rather than him dying before I was a teenager. Think of the kids people, the kids.

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  42. OK, this might really annoy some people but God made hot young things to go together with hot young things. Old things that think they are hot just don't go together with hot young things. there is a scientific law that says so.

    I give you an image to put in your head, Ronnie Wood from the Rolling Stones and his 19 year old girlfriend. It's just all shades of wrong no matter how great they must think they look. Told you Lilly.

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  43. Personally, at 53 I don't want someone too much older than myself, life is just too short.

    I recently came across an aged 80 odd year old man, (83 in fact), and what I thought was his 40 something year old daughter. I thought it was weirdly cute that they were holding hands. Looked at them a little later on and they were doing a lot more than holding hands. They were sucking face like teenagers...Made me shudder I'm afraid.

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  44. Lily
    I believe that age counts but not the physical,it is the mental. The mental age starts much after the ph.age and it may or maynot coincide with with ph.age depending on the mental power and strength. We Indians believe that mental power is infinite and one has to awake it with meditation. When your mental power is ON you decide your age.

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  45. Lily
    I believe that age counts but not the physical,it is the mental. The mental age starts much after the ph.age and it may or maynot coincide with with ph.age depending on the mental power and strength. We Indians believe that mental power is infinite and one has to awake it with meditation. When your mental power is ON you decide your age.

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  46. I just think for older women and younger men, it's harder because you do get that mothering sterotype. With older men and younger women, you just automatically don't think about it because it's expected.

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  47. I don't mind hearing about an age gap of say ten years, but these people that are older marrying much younger, no way. The Australian model did not marry for money, obviously,it must be love, or does she want to get richer.Yes Madonna does look like his mom, she always reminded me of being some what strange. I am with you, we all need to be more open minded. Thank you for coming by, have a great week.

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  48. I dont' think it matters...within reason. I was 4 years older than my exhusband. I think about a 10 year difference is the max...anything over that and you start getting into the parent/child look!

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  49. Hi Lily,
    I'm with some of your readers. Ten years either way is acceptable, but no more. Madonna is just way to old for Jesus. Once she stops being active, she'll look so old that Jesus is going to be chasing some younger chicks. Definitely not good for a long-lasting relationship or marriage.

    Will I get to see you with a new toy boy in the near future? What had happened to George Cloony wannabee? Is he's still around? Hee, hee.

    Have a great day,
    Tasha

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  50. You always crack me up. I always saw age as a number, but thought sometimes it does look a little tacky. Then I had three boys. If my 22 yr old son brought home a 50 yr old woman, the top of my head would probably come off. It's a little too much of an age gap. And yes, she does look like his mother. And the Madonna/Jesus thing is waaaaay tooo much for me. I suppose I sound very judgemental too, just like my grandmother. ooops.

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  51. Interesting the way people thinK differently.
    Thanks for stopping by my blog and your kind comment. Feel free to visit again.
    Cheers!

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  52. I have to say that age is just a number. But more importantly FOR ME is that i just mind my own business cuz I have a hard enough time getting my own business right.

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  53. Easy to pass judgement I suppose, but where is the line? How many years is too many? 10 is okay but 15 is not? Or if you're a really mature 25 year old and you date a really young 50 year old than the difference only looks like 15 years instead of 25? I dunno. Is love blind? You raise more questions for me than I can provide answers for!!

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  54. It is an interesting double standard that we have for men and women. Love is love and I think that we all accept that when we sense it. I think the problem arises when we suspect that the relationship is about ego and not about love.

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  55. I'm 11 years older than my lady and sometimes even that shows a generation gap so I am the last person to judge. But I'm with you that sort of age difference makes you wonder what the real motivation is. Maybe we do sell them short.

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  56. Everyone's comments are really interesting and it just shows you that we all think differently which is a great thing. I guess you can be old at 20 and immature at 60. I guess it all comes down to individual choice. Thanks for your funny and very thoughtful comments. I appreciate them. I am going to practise being a little less judgemental of others (children excluded ha ha) just because its not for me (I know who would have thought).

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  57. I'm wondering if it is a fair comparison - family member to celebrity - I think likely not. I don't see your first blush reaction to either as anything other than reacting to a celebrity photo - not really judgmental in my (non)judgmental opinion!

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  58. Honestly, Lilly, I think that the reason an older man having a younger girlfriend/wife is more acceptable than an older woman with a younger man is that we expect women to be smarter than men. Women have more of a nurturing role, hence the reason Madonna looks like Jesus's mother... maybe that name pairing has something to do with it as well? It is just not right!

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  59. @ Mervat, clever response and I think you are right, Thaks for your comment.

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  60. I think both couples look ridiculous, but at least I can see what the young bride is after. Ok, I guess I can see what Madonna is after too.

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  61. HA HA HA HA - Julie you are so clever and just downright funny!!

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  62. Madonna is on everything I see and in everything I read lately. She does look a bit like the little guy's mom. I remember dating a man 10 years younger than me and I wanted to call him "Son"!! Never in a million years (barring having a tummy tuck) would I have ever considered taking off my clothes in front of someone I silently thought of as "son"!! I must say, Madonna and I certainly have different tastes in men.

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  63. I guess it depends on the person really. I can happily imagine romancing Mr Amitabh Bachchan, very very sexy at 66, but I cringe at the thought of holding hands with my wrinkly-knuckled neighbour who is about 60. It's all about posture and confidence, so if Jesus likes his paramour all muscly and motherly at 50-plus, good luck to him and Madonna.

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  64. all i know is that i tend to shy away from mirrors as these days go by...not pleased in the least...
    and yet my hubby has a touch of silver gray that sets my heart a flutter...
    NO FAIR !

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  65. Madonna's boy toy doesn't look too bright. I think it's just eewww!

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  66. I remember a friend telling me once a long time ago that I seemed to be perpetually walking around with my foot in my mouth. Therefore I know what you mean about the rosy cheeks. I don't know about those May/December, December/May things. I'd say what's good for the goose is good for the gander. What the heck. Or then again...maybe it's good for neither?

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  67. I have to say I would not be thrilled if either my son or daughter were to hook up with someone considerably older. This is coming from someone who once had two kids and a boyfriend all in their 20's! But I now much prefer men my own age. My boyfriend is 6 months younger than me; we have the same reference points of pop culture and both understand the ups and downs that come with age. It's fabulous!

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  68. I'm sorry, but I'm laughing so hard...I do think that man deserved to be embarrassed if he married such a younger woman. I'm kind of mean, though, so maybe you should ignore my opinion. :) Looking at both sets of pictures, I think Madonna and her "boyfriend" are just as bad as the man and his wife. It's hard for me to believe that such a huge age difference - no matter which way it goes - can make for a good marriage.

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  69. In the interests of equality, I feel rather ashamed to say, should my daughter come home with a much older man, I would feel ok. But should my son come home with a much older woman... I would despair.

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  70. Jaysus girl, do any men read this blog? Hey, some chickies in their 40s and 50s are hot (most are not), young guys are cool with this... they like the maturity and experience in bed... most 20 year olds are a pain in arse... who really cares!

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  71. I don't know, I think it makes sense for the guy to be older as you women are simply more mature at a younger age, but coe on! 30 years?!! A bit much! Ewww. i wouldn't lie it eithere. Personally, i can't imagine having a real "relationship" with someone who was, say, 20, as their exp would be far to different and their immaturity wold drive me insane! ...now, err...their "energy" would be fun, but seriously now?--I don't think so! LOL.

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  72. Hi Lily ~ Great post that (because of you inimitable style) made me smile.

    I think it's probably better to have an older woman and a younger man because women tend to live longer.

    It becomes very relevant in the later stages of life.

    What surprises me is all the over-sixties who are keen to embark on a new life.

    I am so into my cocoa and slippers. I don't think I could cope with all the raz' of a younger wife.

    Perhaps 10 years from now I will have changed my mind.

    :)

    henry

    ps Does money have anything to do with it? I'm just way too cynical

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  73. Your story in last para reminded me n incident recently. I was talking to a lady when another young person asked if the lady was my daughter! I replied 'No, but I will treat her as if she is my daughter hereafter'. The lady then told me that she has a daughter who is about 24! And I discovered that the lady was about ten years younger than me! We all laughed, some people do look young at any age.

    Vivek

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  74. I don't know if it's right or wrong but I have a beautiful granddaughter from a woman who is 20 years my son's senior. Of course, the relationship didn't work out in the end but I have my precious granddaughter, Kya.

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  75. Lilly for me i see like this at least Madonna is getting some because I'm getting now so GO MADONNA GO !!!!!!!! TAKE ONE FOR TEAM THAT'S GETTING NONE....

    HUGGS
    JBXOX

    LOVE YOU GRAND MA LILLY HEHEHEHEH

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Thanks for your comments.