Have you ever sent or received a love letter only to realise that feelings were not reciprocated?
Take George and me for instance.
We have had 'a thing going on' ever since I ran into him in an LA travel agency in 1991 (in his Booker Brook days on the Roseanne show).
Excuse me? What did you just think - that I am delusional?
Haven't you ever wondered why they had to cut George's scenes out of the Thin Red Line which was filmed in Australia? I'm not saying anything, I'm just putting it out there ......read between the lines people!
Today I received George's latest letter and, as painful as it is, I've finally had to face some hard cold facts.
Your letter came today.
It was 15 pages long and the only words written were "Lilly, Lilly, you are my one true love", over and over again.
To be honest George I don't know who writes your lines these days but.....they need to try a whole lot harder !
Thanks for yet another autographed photo. I will put it with the 4,000 others.
I've got to tell you though, I was shocked. Your face..... was it a stroke?
I don't want to shun you and your advances so publicly in front of the 'people of the Internet' but I fear that this way may be the only way for you to understand.
Well, short of calling Perez and putting the word out on the streets, that is.
There's really no easy way to say this. But say it I must.
George, I am over YOU.
Over everyone of your egos. The hangers on. And the secrecy of Us.
I have hung on to this dream for 18 years now George.
Thinking that once Max, the 230lb love of your life was out of the way that all would be well. For you and me.
Sure, traversing the globe, meeting you in cheap motels away from prying eyes for stolen moments of passion has been exciting.
However, at the same time, it's been tiring. Somewhat tawdry. And truly foolhardy.
I know you think because I live on the other side of the world that I don't know what's going on. I see. I hear. I read. I have a strong network of blogger blabbermouths who are happy to talk .
Don't tell me George........ another waitress?
Who do you think you are? An international playboy? You are living in la la land.
You've changed. I don't know who you are anymore. And what's more George, you're teetering precariously on the wrong side of pathetic.
Look at Brad. Six kids in three years. Mildly questionable I'll grant you, but at least he is making the world a more beautiful place, one child at a time...
You see, there's a fine line between mature & handsome and past it & sleazy. A fine line George, and you're hanging on by your finger nails.
Move on. Accept it's done and leave me alone.
Just turn and go and don't look back George.
Remember the good times and try to find someone to love you, as hard as it may be. Someone nearly as great as me.
Ciao Baby. Really.
Note to readers: Other than 'running into' the real George in 1991 - this letter sums up the urban myth that my original Clooney encounter has become over the years. Don't sue me George. You will appreciate the exposure one day. Any publicity is good publicity. Right?
Back to you. Are you going to write the loves of your life a real love letter this Valentines Day? I once denounced this day as commercial rubbish but I think the time is right to focus on a lot more love in the world. Valentine's Day need not be the exclusive realm of couples – it can be an expression of friendship and platonic love. I am of the opinion that it is a day of inclusion and an opportunity to recognise all we have in our lives. Check out this great post at Steamed Sponge about writing a letter to a loved one. No George, that won't be you.