I decided after giving up George that I could afford to wear hiking boots, get down and dirty, break a few fingernails, sweat profusely and be one with nature.
It takes me a lot to get in touch with my inner Australian. I need a great deal of persuasion to venture too far into the great outdoors. Away from basics like electricity, hair straighteners, laptop, fridge, running water and my bed.
Georgewannabe asked me to venture out and quite frankly I couldn’t come up with an excuse quick enough.
However, as luck would have it, I nearly didn’t make it out of the car park before I was ready to turn around and come home.
I got out of the car, walked five steps and saw this.
A MAGPIE! The horror of my childhood. These poor excuses for God’s creatures used to swoop and scare the living sh** out of me on a regular basis. They were determined to strip me of my crowning glory strand by strand. I am sure I had so many holes in my scalp I could have been used as a human salt shaker. I needed therapy for years. Not from the bird attacks but from all of the ridicule I got from wearing an empty ice cream container on my head like a helmet. Just for protection. It looked cute at 5 but just plain ridiculous many years later.
Me: Eeeekkk! Get that horrid thing away from me!!
George wannabe: Laughing too loud for his own good. It’s only a bird, he’s not going to hurt you. In fact you are more like this bird than you can imagine.
Me: Shooting look of pure contempt his way and thinking to self, God help me, how did I not know he was a delusional bird lover.
Georgewannabe: Magpies are one of the few birds who are monogamous and they mate for life, so if you injure or kill one you might break a heart.
Me: Now wearing my handbag over my head just in case the Magpie had ideas - fortunately I couldn't hear the violin strings. As fascinating as the love lives of birds are, have you ever thought that maybe they are only monogamous because they all look the same and therefore they aren't tempted to find younger, prettier models?
Georgewannabe: They're fascinating. They build exotic nests and have a habit of collecting bright and shiny objects which they use to decorate their living space, they’re intelligent and they can be tamed and taught to speak, different languages. They only swoop when they think their babies are in danger. See how like us they are?
Me: Ah...no. How is that thing like me?
Georgewannabe: Well, you like wearing black and white, you love collecting shiny objects, you have a decorating passion, you’re loyal, smart, and fiercely protective of those you love and....he stops in mid sentence......
Me: and..... go on say it ......tapping foot ready to pounce...
Georgewannabe: You are also an extremely social bird.
Me: Oh phew, I thought you were going to say something about my big beak. Of course, if you had, you would have seen this bird swoop right at you ....and give you a whack with her wings. Some birds are beyond taming.
The day continued trouble free. No swooping, squawking or bright shiny objects were to be had anywhere. Maybe I will try to like Magpies. One of the few birds that love for life. I will think about it. The wounds run deep.
The pictures are of the area near where I live and walk and which was ravaged by bushfire six years ago. Thanks for your prayers for those Aussies involved in our current horrific bush fires. Also, it is now believed that only one of the six major fires was deliberately lit. Sad times but everyone has come together. Love in the midst of chaos. If you are an Etsy shopper you might be interested in this. In order to help out those who have lost so much, an appeal has been set up through the Etsy community to raise money. A special Etsy shop has been launched by the Dust team (Down Under Street Team). It is called OzBushfireAppeal and in it are items that have been donated by other Etsy sellers to help this cause. Sales from all items will be donated to the Australian Red Cross every Friday.