Thursday 12 February 2009

Birds do it .....even Aussie chicks do it


I went walking aimlessly in the wild bush walking over the weekend.

I decided after giving up George that I could afford to wear hiking boots, get down and dirty, break a few fingernails, sweat profusely and be one with nature.

It takes me a lot to get in touch with my inner Australian. I need a great deal of persuasion to venture too far into the great outdoors. Away from basics like electricity, hair straighteners, laptop, fridge, running water and my bed.

Georgewannabe asked me to venture out and quite frankly I couldn’t come up with an excuse quick enough.

However, as luck would have it, I nearly didn’t make it out of the car park before I was ready to turn around and come home.

I got out of the car, walked five steps and saw this.

A MAGPIE! The horror of my childhood. These poor excuses for God’s creatures used to swoop and scare the living sh** out of me on a regular basis. They were determined to strip me of my crowning glory strand by strand. I am sure I had so many holes in my scalp I could have been used as a human salt shaker. I needed therapy for years. Not from the bird attacks but from all of the ridicule I got from wearing an empty ice cream container on my head like a helmet. Just for protection. It looked cute at 5 but just plain ridiculous many years later.

Me: Eeeekkk! Get that horrid thing away from me!!

George wannabe: Laughing too loud for his own good. It’s only a bird, he’s not going to hurt you. In fact you are more like this bird than you can imagine.

Me: Shooting look of pure contempt his way and thinking to self, God help me, how did I not know he was a delusional bird lover.

Georgewannabe: Magpies are one of the few birds who are monogamous and they mate for life, so if you injure or kill one you might break a heart.

Me: Now wearing my handbag over my head just in case the Magpie had ideas - fortunately I couldn't hear the violin strings. As fascinating as the love lives of birds are, have you ever thought that maybe they are only monogamous because they all look the same and therefore they aren't tempted to find younger, prettier models?

Georgewannabe: They're fascinating. They build exotic nests and have a habit of collecting bright and shiny objects which they use to decorate their living space, they’re intelligent and they can be tamed and taught to speak, different languages. They only swoop when they think their babies are in danger. See how like us they are?

Me: How is that thing like me?

Georgewannabe: Well, you like wearing black and white, you love collecting shiny objects, you have a decorating passion, you’re loyal, smart, and fiercely protective of those you love and....he stops in mid sentence......

Me: and..... go on say it ......tapping foot ready to pounce...

Georgewannabe: You are also an extremely social bird.

Me: Oh phew, I thought you were going to say something about my big beak. Of course, if you had, you would have seen this bird swoop right at you ....and give you a whack with her wings. Some birds are beyond taming.

The day continued trouble free. No swooping, squawking or bright shiny objects were to be had anywhere. Maybe I will try to like Magpies. One of the few birds that love for life. I will think about it. The wounds run deep.


The pictures are of the area near where I live and walk and which was ravaged by bushfire six years ago. Thanks for your prayers for those Aussies involved in our current horrific bush fires. Also, it is now believed that only one of the six major fires was deliberately lit. Sad times but everyone has come together. Love in the midst of chaos. If you are an Etsy shopper you might be interested in this. In order to help out those who have lost so much, an appeal has been set up through the Etsy community to raise money. A special Etsy shop has been launched by the Dust team (Down Under Street Team). It is called OzBushfireAppeal and in it are items that have been donated by other Etsy sellers to help this cause. Sales from all items will be donated to the Australian Red Cross every Friday.


  1. Lilly- We are praying for you here. We think about you every day. I am so glad you are safe and sound!

  2. To see a Lilly post with no comments on I'm gonna be the first...So There!! (you other 109 or so ... Tough, I'm First!!!

    (now I'm gonna go and read your post)


    h. :)

  3. damn it!!!!! Sandi got there first.
    Just because her name goes "Sa..." and my name goes "So..."

    It's just not fair!

    (bet she didn't read the post either)

    (it's not easy being green)



  4. I feel the same way about those ibis birds, with there long beeks and beady eyes, they look like they could peck your eyeballs out...eeecck!

    Thanks for your lovely comment this week too!

  5. I glad the Bird didn't get you and it showed you they aren't all bad.
    Thanks for sharing your pictures and giving us the update.

  6. We continue to pray that those fires get under control. They have affected my life too. We have friends in Canada, who´s son was vacationing in Australia with friends. I don´t know any details, but they had a terrible car crash, due to the fires and all but one girl died in the crash. The parents and friends are devastated! He was 23 years old and in the prime of life! It makes you realize how fleeting life is and that we need to cherish every moment with our loved ones!

  7. Some would say that Georgewannabe knows you better than perhaps you know yourself. Of course, I don't actually know you in person, but you ARE a woman, aren't you?

    Ouch! That hurt!

  8. Two for Joy and One for Grief...Sadly Oz has had a one Magpie experience. Yes you will all rebuild and cope, but the memories of fathers who spoke so movingly about children they had lost (and the mothers too...but being a Father, my heart went out to those strong men who wept)

    But as you show, the only way is forward and your strength will show through. Smiling through your tears, making rainbows and a hope of a future and a healing.



    ps: Do you have an extremely small head, or do you eat Gi-normous tubs of ice-cream?

  9. Lilly, I just found you via Suburb Sanity. I, too, am a spicy Sagittarian (sorry, I can't bring myself to say "middle-aged"!!!) who likes to laugh and bring laughter to the world. I'm going to follow you. Check out my blog if you get the chance. (And, in the meantime, stay away from magpies!)

    And, I'm praying that the fires are soon under control...

  10. I'm glad the rest of your time went smoothly. I think the etsy shop is an awesome idea!

  11. I have been thinking of you, Lilly. That is the beauty of blogging. Nice to see joy still existing, safely secluded from the ravaging fire.

  12. I hate those little bastards too, excuse me :) They make walking around swinging handbags above your head look normal, which is ok when you're surrounded only by Aussies but as soon as a tourist sees you, YOU'RE the weirdo. Huh. Yeah. Right....

  13. Oh I have been fighting to be #9 to comment on your posts for years.

    I think I can finally do it. I seem to always be #99. And our good buddy SoulMerlin, whom we love, is hogging the comments. So far he has left THREE comments so IF we discount 2 of his comments I am REALLY #7 to comment. I think it's time you hinted to henry that know...just subtly let him know about "Lilly's One Comment Rule". I'm sure it's just an oversight on his part. LOLOL!!!
    ROFL!!! :) :) :)

    Or maybe it's just that our dear henry, that we both love, is like George and simply goes for medium height blonds with weird accents instead of tall dark haired down to my --Oops-- down to THEIR waste haired girls, who just ALSO happen to have huge smiles full of large white teeth, and smooth as honey American accents. Well I guess it must be your writing. LOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!

    Okay, O-kaaaaaay!!! You are drop dead gorgeous, sexy, whitty, a 140 IQ, a rich melodic Aussie accent, totally Tan and fit. Nonetheless, I thought you were through with George!! LOLOLOL!!!!

    Alrighty then, back to magpies!!! Just put a pink colander over your head. You can stick some fake flowers on it. I already see George headed my way. LOLOLOL!!!!

    Yes, I may always be #99 BUT I leave the longest comments of anyone here!! Ta Dah!! I am famous for something after all. Well, what it may be is that I am the FIRST to arrive here but everyone has come and gone by the time I finish writing. But it's because I'm so devoted and connected to you. Or?....It could be that I might, verbose. Maybe. BUT? Does henry leave you LONG comments Lilly? Just something to think about. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Okay, I'm out the door. Love the post you ol' Bush Girl you. Watch out for those Funnel Webs and Taipans.

    "The Naked One!"

    PS: I used a an fake name...just in case henry reads this.

    LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!! :)

    henry I love you too my dear long time friend. :) :) You know it. You are a beautiful soul. It's why Lilly and I love you. And THAT is the truth. :D

  14. Interesting weekend you had! You know those bush fires are obviously God's way of renewing the earth, when you look at the new greenery. Unfortunately, we need that land to live on meanwhile.

  15. @ Sandi - thanks muchly. Yep safe and sound where we are.

    @ Soul Merlin - lol, you funny man. Love you stopping by!!! Ice cream containers? What you mean you can get them in small? I never, ever knew. LOL!!! Yes the horror of these fires is not over yet - many more bodies to be recovered. So many stories. A couple in my suburb lost theri daughter, son and their three grandchildren. The pain must be unbearable.

    @ Katy - ibus birds - oh yes forgot about them thank goodness I dont really get to see them anywhere. Your skirt was magnificent.

    @ Darsden - no I would have leapt back in the car and taken off. Bad memories lol!

    @ Betty - oh I am so terribly sorry. That is horrific. So many lives lost. I just could not imagine being so far away form your child at a time like this. Terrible tragedy. My prayers and thoughts are with your friends.

    @ cjw666 - why did you feel me punch you from here lol!!!! Next time I am in the UK I am inviting you and Henry out something tells me you pair would be lots of fun!!

    @ Debra - oh thanks for dropping by I will certianly be over for a visit. No I am not middleaged is that what I said, I must have been lying. Just a spicy Saggitarian, nothing more...

    @ Tabitha - Etsy is a gret, great community isnt it? Everyone wins.

    @ Anns Rants - its true, the power of the internet allows us to come across people we would never once have met. I am sure blogging could bring peace in the world. Sadly it cannot keep us safe from natural disasters. We just never know nor will ever find the reasons why life works as it does. Thanks for dropping by.

  16. I do love your sense of humor! I'm so glad that you are safe. Be interested in hearing more about Georgewannabe! More bird watching trips, maybe????

  17. For some reason , you and George Bush-walking, makes me feel the hyphen is in the wrong place. If he does give you anymore grief over magpies, my campus here offers the best in pesky monkeys. Forget waving purses , you cant walk here safely with any bag when they are around. They swoop, take off with bread,bananas, fruit, from your bag, then stand at a distance , bare their teeth and grin at you. Welcome !

  18. Hello Possums!

    So the "Naked One" has commented (a thin disguise...unlike her hair which seemingly goes down to her !!!)

    Anyway 'ol Bush girl' as the 'Naked One' alludes, reminds me of your fellow country(man) Dame Edna Everage, who once remarked that she fondly remembered the day when she finally grew hair she could sit on...
    ...the next Naked in Eden vid' could be most interesting.

    Bunches of Gladioli to you both (in a pink colander)

    (so hair grows up to my nose, but stops short of my pate)

    The Bald Bush Baby


    ps: I think I've got the comment links working on my sideblog now Lilly do check them out...not to leave a comment you understand, but just to see if they work :)

    Yes Lilly you were right, I had a 'funny turn' onstage (I'm ok now..just too much hard work and I'm getting older) The young girl is my dear Liz...who will always be young to me.



  19. Yes bloody magpies I remember them. They really do attack but is it only in mating season? I like Robin's idea of suitable headwear to wear near magpies. A colander with plastic flowers in it. I dare you to do it and take a pic of it please Lilly. Glad that things have settled down regarding the bush fires. I guess that the grieving and rebuilding process will take a long time. The area burnt is about he third the size of Great Britain I heard. Incredible. Its one of your smaller states too isnt it?

  20. Hi Lilly, your post has been up only for a few hours and there are 20 comments already..! Love reading your posts. Have been seeing/reading about the fires in OZ, and thinking about you...! be safe.
    A bit of news (nothing to do with Birds): George's new love is Fatima Bhutto - niece of Benazir Bhutto, the slain premier of Pakistan. She is a firey lady and a writer. Are you J ? you just broke off with George remember...!!

  21. You know I be loving on some birdies. But I like them pretty and I like them to sit on my hand. If they don't, then I don't mind shooting one, two or three of them. In fact right now on Survivor Man, he is plucking a bird he just caught. Yum! Course, he probably is planning to eat it raw! bleh

    Where is your dad lately? Bet he is not a bird hater!

  22. thinking of you all the time and my heart goes out to australia..will stop by the place and buy something....hearts u..

  23. @ Braja - they are indeed bastards no-one can convince me otherwise. They also steal.

    @ Robin - he he my bestest blog friend in the world. Well no Henry is equal bestest. I found his blog on yours. And you were the first person who ever commented on my blog. And trust you to come up with new protective gear to wear around these maggies. I am thinking a pink collander with fake flowers would do the trick, yes indeed.

    @ Christine - yes it was fun. Its true, when you look at the newly burnt areas there is just nothing left at all. The heat must have been horrific.

    @ Sylvia K - glad you like my weird humor. Its not necessarily meant to be funny it just comes out that way.

    @ Rebecca - thanks glad you enjoyed.

    @ Ugich - oh no Monkeys would be way worse - how funny that they make fun of people like that.

    @ Soul Merlin - EXCUSE ME what were you doing up at that time. It must have been 3.30am in the morning when you left that message. I never liked Edna Everidge until recent times. Barry is very clever actually and he must be in is 70s now. I still cant leave a comment on the side blog unless I am missing the bleeding obvious which could be possible mind you.

    @ Banoffi - yes its true they get more like that during mating and when protecting their nests. My parents befriend them and feed them.

    @ Introspection - oh thanks for your comment. Oh right so George has moved on has he? What kind of name is Fatima. I guess when he calls her fat, which he will, she will not take offence. She is bound to be gorgeous with dark hair and olive skin then. Ah well, I hope she has got thick skin and a cold heart. She will need it. Thanks for the news, not that I am really interested or anything.

    @ Wheres my Angels - Des loves birds and had a cockatoo that used to mimic us as children. He was stolen which was a bit tragic, maybe he ended up in a circus. Des has been missing in action for a while as he has been unwell. Hopefully with the cooler weather coming he will be back in action again.

  24. Love the "georgewannabe" connotation!

  25. I so feel the pain and anquish of the devastation of fires...

    We have horrendous fires here every year...

    I am so glad you are okay...

    Much love...

  26. @ Mmmmm - yes Georgewannabe is his name for the moment....anyways....

    @ Saundra - yes you know exactly what we go through. In fact we always swap fire crews bewtween each other because its a similar climate and the fires are similar.

  27. Glad things are as safe as they can be. The devasation is so terrible from what we see on the TV. I will most definitely go check out the Etsy shop and get something.

    I am a bird hater I tell you. I just cannot stand them, even harmless budgies. Another funny blog Lilly. Important to smile at times like these and see the humorous wherever you can.

  28. Love the bird post! At least a handbag looks better on your head than an empty ice cream carton right?

    I'm keeping everyone affected in the fires in my prayers and thoughts.

  29. @ Sarah - thanks for you kind thoughts.

    @ Lady Fi - yes I thnk a handbag is better too as long as the birds dont attack it of course, lol. Thnaks for your prayers too.

  30. Handbags are too small for Charleston where we have flocks of seagulls.

  31. Lilly, LOL, you just caused visions of the movie "Birds" to flood my head. except they were after your golden locks, each carrying of two or three. Sorry to laugh at that, but I couldn't resist.

    Then of course the next vision is of your toe tapping, "don't you dare" look, as GeorgeWannabe is readying himself to complete his statement, LOL.

  32. I'm glad you didn't get attacked! So did you enjoy your walk at all?? I'm not much of a hiker either, but in your country I think I could be easily persuaded!!! Soooo beautiful!

    You now have a famous kaola! Link:;_ylt=AjmjKQOlEesn7gJQrEXCdAMazJV4

    Hugs and prayers for your country!!!

  33. Lilly--responded to your good q's on my blog. Thanks for visiting and always leaving such thoughtful comments!

    What? no new post since last time I checked?

    BTw, aren't you gald for the sun alone that you don't live with it for only two dayts,as you did in Scotland? (Can you say, "major depression?"!!) I couldn't handle that and talk sbout COLD, Brrr.. Scotland feels so much colder to me.

  34. Loved your reflection on magpies! Ha! Sounds like you may have found an opening for them in your heart. Pictures are lovely, thanks for sharing.

  35. dont be so quick to love them! they could be sneaky you

    Great post. yes the fire's there are so sad. so many of us are praying for your country.

  36. Lord, woman. You never fail to make me laugh out loud...

  37. Hi sweet Lillyness! I can't imagine you sweating and getting down and dirty!! lol So glad you were saved from the birds. Oh, yesterday the old Alfred Hitchcock movie "The Birds" was on and I watched it! Wooooo - pretty scarey.
    Be a sweetie,
    Shelia ;)

  38. Hi glad you are safe and sound. :) And I LOVE reading other peeps comments on here. haha.

    Thanks for your love and encouragement!! *hugs*

  39. Ahhh perfect metaphors and giggles galore... loved the whole fun read. And I am off to check out the Etsy sites and see what I may be able to do for a good cause. I am loving how your country is pulling together during this devastating time. We will continue to think of you and keep you in our prayers.

  40. Oh my daughter and you would so get along! She is a total bird hater, through and through. If we go to a pet store she will make it a point not to go anywhere near them. She just has no use!!
    I am going to head over to the shop and see what I can find so I can help out!
    Take Care and thanks for sharing with us.

  41. Hello Lilly,
    I read your post prior to this one, but didn't leave a comment there. I'm so glad that you had survived that fire in 2003. That had to be a very scary situation. I probably would have panicked and thought it to be the end of the world. To be encircled by fire, I would feel helpless and feel doomed. I feel very sad for your those whose lives had been affected, those who lost their lives had lost their lives, and those who had lost their love ones to the fire. I pray for them and wish them all the best.

    About this post, you truly were traumatized by the magpie incident, huh? I'm glad that you tried to venture out to commune with nature. It's a first step. And it's a good one. The more you go out there, the braver you'll become. Perhaps the magpies will soon swoop in front of you as a sign of respect. Hee, hee.

    Good Day,

  42. Glad you're safe, you little ice cream bucket wearing magpie.

  43. I'm keeping up the prayers. And the sweet story of the koala made our evening news last night.
    I have a fear of pigeons. I even did a post on it once:)

  44. HI Lilly
    One nice fact in defence of magpies-their latin name -pica pica

  45. Ha! Right: that would make them thieving bastards then, right? Absolutely...

  46. "As fascinating as the love lives of birds are, have you ever thought that maybe they are only monogamous because they all look the same and therefor they aren't tempted to find younger, prettier models?"


  47. I am so happy you were able to get over George long enough to take this beautiful walk...even though it was cluttered with those vicious birds. :-)

  48. Oh I do not like birds either and ones that swoop are horrific. As Shelia said, have you watched Hitchcok's Birds film? Don't. I notice how the fires are still going strong. Praying there is no more damage. The fire fighters must be so tired.

  49. @ Butler and Bagman - oh no I guess its umbrella time for you!

    @ Eric - I am harmless, a total pushover, have no fear, he he

    @ Queenie Jeannie - oh is that koala cute or what - agood distraction for people who are in so much pain.

    @ Mmmm - thanks I will be over to check it out.

    @ Mark - it is lovely country but obviously we get such extremes and with this fire - it will take some time to recover. Thanks for dropping by.

  50. Lilly, all of us here feel deeply for the tragedy you are going through. If only all people were like magpies, who attack only to protect their children and fall in love for life. If only our values were in the right place.

  51. Your aversion for the poor sad magpie is kinda mean...but if I had hair as pretty as yours I guess I'd want to keep it all in my head too. George sounds like he needs a good pop upside the head...just for knowing so much about birds lol

  52. lilly;

    Great post...I had the same reaction to squirrels when I was young...they attacked me..or I thought they were at the time. Their little beady eyes were fixed on my eyes and they ran at me! Bad memories for sure...i still stay a safe distance away but I have forgiven them! LOL

  53. Here in Colorado we call those little buggers "camp robbers". Because, I think, if you are camping you'd better not leave any beloved shiny objects lying around.

    I suppose in many ways it is a comfort to know that only one fire was arson. But Mother Nature is more vicious and capricious in her fury than any human. She's a force to be reckoned with, that's for sure.

  54. Hmmm...I see Katy has been on blogger. The "K" comment above is me, Anya.

  55. @ Dawnie - yes I will be careful lol!

    @ Julie - well the feeling is mutual

    @ Shelia - oh I must go and check out that film, I think I aonly partially saw it years ago.

    @ Paris - yes well you deserve it so.

    @ Vicky - thanks glad you 'get it'. Thanks for your prayers too.

    @ The Mind of a Mom - always thought you had a sensible daughter.

    @ Tashabud - thanks honey you know what I am talking about, he he.

    @ Susan - that is the reason why I buy ice cream because it comes with the helmet. Doesnt everybody?

    @ Debbie - I will have to go and check out your pigeon post - the Koala is sure cute.

    @ Barbara - pica pica - yes piece of piece of - my head!!

    @ Braja - thieving batards disguised as good moral citizens of the sky. Fake!

    @ Gillette - well it has to be true dont you think?

    @ Teri - yeah it wasnt that bad really.

    @ Stefan - yes I am going to check out that film. I'll let you know.

    @ Sucharita - that is a lovely comment and so true.

    @ Nikkicrumpet - yeah there is something slightly wierd to me if someone knows so much about birds or animals. Strange...

    @ Peggy - yes I used to see squirrels all the time when I lived in the UK. At least they had the sense to run away from you.

    @ Anja - camp robbers, yes that what they are - I dont mind as long as they leave my head alone I will give them all the shiny paper they like to redecorate their homes. How big are their nests I wonder. Or maybe they are like us, the renovating and redecorating never stops.

  56. OMGoodness would those birds really swoop down on someone and attack their head? Yikes! Glad you enjoyed your time. Prayers for the fire.

  57. I meant to tell you I popped by froom SITS.

  58. Quiskeyea - thanks for dropping by, yes they do sweep down and peck you on the head. Love the design of your blog by the way.

  59. Dropping by from sits.

    BTW, I'm sponsoring a Valentine's Day giveaway on my blog, Zen Cupcake in case you're interested.

  60. Oh Lilly, I just loved this post! Hilarious to imagine you with an ice cream container on your head. My neighbor had a blue jay that kept dive bombing her, too! She used to wear a football helmet when she went out to garden in yard.

    I sure hope those fires are getting under control now. The whole world is feeling for the Aussies and praying for them.

  61. Oh, Lilly, you make me laugh. XO to all of you in your beautiful country. I wish I could send you some of this English rain and cold temps.

  62. @ Kay - yes that is what I need a helmet. Mmmm that would entail riding a bike and I dont do that either. Thanks for your kind words for the Aussies affected by this horrible tragedy.

    @ Just a Plane Ride Away - some rain would be just what the doctor ordered. As for my city its freezing today - odd that it is.

  63. With you on the whole bird thing (shudder). My idea of an afternoon in Hell is a walk through an aviary.

  64. Lilly,
    It sounds like he is a very observant man - how do you feel about him ?

  65. Lilly, my thoughts are with you. Sometimes I am amazed at the terrible things people are capable of doing, but I am even more amazed by the way people can come together in a crisis.

    On a lighter note, I am not a fan of birds myself. I have been attacked by a blue jay and a grackle, and nearly had a chunk taken out of my waist by a goose in my native West Texas. Birds hate me...

  66. Lilly, you have been tagged for the Weirdest Tag award! See post on my blog for info and rules. It is all fun - you don't have to do it unless you want to. Hugs.

  67. There used to be a comic strip years ago about two magpies perched on a wire. Their names were Heckle and Jeckle and they were always making fun of humans. I could not help but think of this and laugh when you started talking about swinging your handbag, covering your head, etc. I will check out the Etsy Shop. I hope things are better there.

  68. Hi Lilly - great post! Georgewannabe sounds like a keeper. I'm going to keep reading older posts in case I missed something regarding Geo.

    We are all praying for you guys.

  69. Thnaks Ladies for your well wishes!

  70. You made me laugh once more (what’s new, eh – hahaha). Gosh, you really know to tell a good story!

  71. Hi LILLY
    The trick with magpies is to get to know them outside of breeding season. It's then they're loveable and obviously inspiring. In all of the ways Georgewanabee says.

    I think he's paying you a great compliment here ...

    June also in Oz

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Thanks for your comments.