Message from your Mother is a series of letters written by Lilly to her daughter. They are often written in the kind of irrational way that sometimes comes naturally to mothers when communicating with their children (no matter how old they happen to be). You will always find a hidden message if you look hard enough.
I've got some news.
And I hope you're sitting down.
It seems I've led you astray.
This time it's about your eye colour. And my eye colour.
Apparently, there is no such thing as a 'green eyed girl'.
Even Cold Play got it wrong.
Who'd have thought that I could be so misled?
We don't have green eyes. There is no such thing.
I took a picture this morning to show you. My eyes are not green, they are a shade you have not even heard of. They're Mixed.
By the way, if you're wondering if I've suddenly developed Michael Jackson's skin condition, that stuff on my face is a mask - I'm multi-tasking.
It's actually the Extra Extra Extra firming mask that some little witch at the makeup counter strongly suggested I was desperately in need of. All I can say is my face does look firmer but you can only see the benefits when the mask has dried like concrete and you can't move a muscle. Once it's off, my skin goes back to its usual pliable state. I guess fleeting beauty, even if it comes wrapped in clay, is all I can hope for at this point.
Anyway, back to our eyes.
I went to an iridologist.
You know those gurus who look into your eyes and identify any signs of disease. She stared into my eyes for what seemed like ages. It was extremely disconcerting. After a few umms and ahhs, she said, "Ah biliary, how interesting."
"Oh God," I cried, "tell me that's not some new age disease and it's just French for green eyes".
She laughed, just as you'd expect a blue eyed person to do in such circumstances. "That's the term we give to mixed eyes", she said. "Green irises don't really exist as the green appearance of the iris is usually due to discolouration or yellow patches in a blue iris. There are only blue or brown irises."
"Oh, I see" I said, looking decidedly dejected.
"Is that because RNA can function as both a gene and an enzyme, and RNA comes before DNA and protein and acted as the ancestral molecule of life?" Well OK, you know I didn't say that but I would have said something equally as smart if I hadn't been so shocked.
All I could manage was, "Are you out of your mind? What do you mean there are no green eyes? It's like being told very late in life that you're adopted. Suddenly everything you know to be true, no longer is."
So, as strange as it may seem, our eyes are what's called in the trade, as MIXED. Not blue, not brown. Not one thing or the other. We are a no frills, no name brand. Or in Obama's words, we are muts.
It makes sense. What colour do you get when you mix blue and yellow? Yes, green.
We are a minority. Only two percent of the world's population has green eyes. As an aside, if you ever feel the need to reach out for support, apparently Hungary has the highest percentage of green eyed people in the world.
Not many people realise this but green eyed owners are treated like second class citizens at times. I've known this for a while given I've painted makeup on people's faces for magazines and film. Media discriminates against green eyes in highly deceitful ways. Did you know that green eyed models and Hollywood stars get their eyes photo shopped to blue when they appear in magazines? Take a look some time. Kate Hudson has green eyes, as does Christina Applegate and a whole load of other stars, so why are they always blue in magazines?
Anyway, the iridologist told me some interesting things about eye colour and health in case you ever need a conversation starter at your book club. (Mmmm, while we are on that subject, I noticed that you've named your new club, Beer, Bites and Books. It's not exactly like the Jane Austin Book Club I had imagined ........)
Now I have been enlightened I think I'll tell people that I have mixed green eyes. It sounds exotic. In fact, the more I think of it, now is the right time to be mixed wouldnt you say? I can feel the change coming.
One day soon, we might even get our green irises acknowledged on the iridology chart and on magazine covers. We might even get to be on an equal footing to our blue and brown eyed brothers and sisters instead of having to decide if we are more like one or the other.
Perhaps I might even start wearing those green contact lenses again. You know, the ones that make me look like I'm from Mars and which cause people to stop, stare and point.
I think the world is so ready to formally acknowledge green irises! Mixed as they may be. Don't you?
And on that note, I encourage you all to read a really beautiful post, called I have a Dream, at Sandi's blog. It's about her beautiful mixed family of 14 children.
Tell me, what colour are your eyes?