Sunday 14 December 2008

Ho Bloody Ho

There was a certain little Department store makeup consultant I interacted with today who clearly had read Post Secret before she went to work. Truth be told, she was probably the one who sent this secret in....

After hours of weathering the push and shove of the never-ending Christmas shopping queue I ended up at the Clarins makeup counter. Waiting, waiting, waiting for a consultant to wake up from their 'cat nap' and come and help me.

I'm always 'prepared' when I go to buy makeup. Makeup consultants often have about as much tact as a cat (because I trained as a makeup artist and I'm familiar with the breed). I usually take their uppity attitude with a grain of salt. Not today.

Today my apparently wobbly jowls were quivering in astonishment.

Yes, it was even worse than the time that one of these princesses looked me in the eyes and said, "Why, what beautiful eyes you have. They remind me of my cat's eyes. They're yellow." They are green, people!

See, makeup consultants and cats are so alike, what did I tell you? They both have claws, are forever preening themselves regardless of whose company they are in and they have NO TACT.

I was finally assisted by a five year old consultant. In pigtails. Department stores are apparently recruiting straight from kindergarten these days.

"Hi, I am looking for a face mask," I said.

"Mmmm", she said, as she examined me intently, "is it for yourself?"

"Yes", I said.

"Well, I think that you will be needing the firming mask then. Actually, now that I look a little more closely, I think that you really need the VERY FIRMING mask. Shall I wrap that for you?"

"Oh no sweetheart, not quite yet", I said with a strained smile, "I just want to clarify something first. Can you tell me how many degrees of firming this face mask actually comes in? "

"Well", she purrs, "normal, firm and very firm".

"So, you're telling me that I need the mask with the highest degree of firming properties, are you?"

"Yes, I guess so." she grinned.......strangely .....just like a Cheshire cat.

"So, if that's the case, does that mean when the benefits of this mask stop working, I'm going to have to shop for cosmetics in the Hardware store for the next 40 years? Let's see, spacfilla and putty to fill in the wrinkles, sand paper for exfoliating, cement for extra coverage...or maybe a primer and then a quick paint with either a matte or satin that where I'm headed?"

She looked at me. I looked at her. I swear I could see a thought bubble coming out of her childishly coiffed head ...batty old cow...

I wasn't about to debate the issue or hit her on the nose with a newspaper. After all, even though their nose is a bit sensitive, a cat’s sight is supposedly their keenest sense. Who was I to argue with what she 'saw'. Not today.

"Fine", I said, "wrap it. I haven't got time to debate the mask's degrees of separation or to workshop my wrinkle control strategic plan with you. It's Christmas and I'm busy. Oh, and I do hope Santa brings you something nice dear. Age appropriate, of course."

Can you tell that I too read Post Secret this morning?

For any readers out there who have five year old children masquerading as makeup consultants, GIVE THEM SOME TACT FOR CHRISTMAS!!!! And remind them that anyone over 35 is NOT OLD!!!! And anyone over 40 is NOT BEYOND ALL RE-FIRMING HOPE!!

I also now know my New Years resolutions. High-speed cyber shopping (hint - for makeup shopping ladies) and my blog rating may be upped to 30+.

Anyway, now that I've got that out of my system I'm going to give one of you a present. And I don't even need to examine your wrinkles for this one. One lucky commenter is going to win a Mystery Gift, of a bit of this (Thai stuff) and a bit of that (Aussie stuff) and most likely a sample of Clarins' Very Firming Face Mask will be thrown in for good measure!! Oh yes, I hear you, not that YOU need it either......

The winner of the previous post's giveaway, chosen by is Commenter No. 16 which is Tasha from Tasha's Take. A Thai silk scarf is on its way to you very soon.


  1. That is so funny. It reads like a TV script (you kept on morphing into SJP)

    I met Liz when I was wearing a clay mask. I was just joining a dance company (many years...sorry, decades ago)and I had to have a mask created on my face for a mime scene. There I was immobile whilst the plaster of paris set firm. I couldn't see and I could hardly breath...then I heard a laugh and someone introducing themselves...

    It was my first meeting with Liz.

    So you see...wearing a mask can lead to marriage - If she'd seen my face first I'd have had no chance.


  2. OK. Well as I am on the lookout for a suitable male I am thankful that I got that mask after all. I now will be permanently wearing it.

    What a lovely story about you and Liz. Can you write about that story sometime - do you think she would be ok with it? I have done those masks on a few people in my time....would never do it myself though.

    I love you visiting my blog Henry, just so you know - you always have something funny to say!! Oh and when you said the post was so funny, it's because you were laughing with me and not at me, right?

  3. Hi Lily, Another entertaining post ! Do you know if they make an extra, ultra, very firming mask ?

  4. Hi Barbara, lets see I think that is called cement. I am now planning to look through the hardware catalogue more closely and given the beauty catalogs a miss. Apparently, some wee consultants think we are past it once we get as old as their mothers. What a laugh, products are all rubbish anyhow its all psycological. We all should have stuck to Ponds cold cream I think! Hope you are well!

  5. Oooooo, no, I don't think I want the Clarins thingie...I'm past Clarins makeup, skin care, counter assistants, and nice-smelling products. I might get used to it again. Sigh...

    Now listen, what are you and Barbara doing up so late?!

  6. @ Braja - I normally am up late and Barbara my adopted sister actually lives in the UK and its about 11.30am there. No, none of us need BLOODY Clarins.....he he

  7. Love this! Thank you for the laugh this morning. I avoid those makeup people like the plague. I know all my flaws no need to point out $300 worth of products I need to fix them. :)

    I wandered over to your blog from SITS.

  8. Lilly,
    I love reading about your life. Very entertaining. It's makes my life seem so minuscule in comparison.
    HA! Who am I kidding, with 7 children and one husband to keep me on my toes, there is never a dull moment around here.
    I guess I just like taking a look into others life to pass the time away. ;)
    Have a good day or should I say night. Time changes baffle me.

  9. YEAAAAH I have ANOTHER chance at winning something from Thailand! I wont give up!

    OKKK,,,I would have smacked the little smirk right off her 5 yr old face and then undid her pigtails and mopped the floor with her hair!
    did I just say all that? I cant imagine someone saying that to me and then smiling about it...I'm 50 now so I'm ultra sensitive. I admit I still LOVE hearing--NO way your not 50--I would have thought you were in your 30's! Ultra firming..put that mask on her mouth and see if it firms it shut! I HATE GETTING OLD!

  10. That is hysterical! And so true...I've dragged my 47 year old face to the Lancome counter and had Junior Miss America tell me that basically this is the strongest stuff made and nothing else is gonna save me. LOL

    I make it a habit never to deal with a salesperson younger than me. I go with the old ladies who have as much to hide as I do!

  11. Another great and hilarious post! At 75 it's too late for any kind of a mask and I don't have enough money to shop for anything let alone put up with sales people with an attitude! But I do remember the days when I did and they were just as bad then. Wonder what it is with them? Is dealing with the public on a day to day basis that bad??? Thanks, as always, Lily! Enjoy your day!

  12. I have had the misfortune to meet a couple of self satisfied, ego burdened children who masquerade as salespeople and it does at times add that last straw to my camel's back. I don't need any of the gifts, Lilly. You're so nice. I just wanted to tell you I got up early this morning and couldn't get back to sleep. Your post gave me something to laugh about. It was so much fun to read!

  13. Lilly, I've been feeling that way since people started calling me 'maam' instead of 'miss'. One friend did speak up when an attendant at a gas station asked her something about a senior's discount and she said 'well, do I LOOK like a senior?' She was so miffed.

  14. There's always Haemorrhoid cream - twice as effective and a tenth of the price - not that you need anything at all, of course, Lilly :)

  15. Oh you crack me up! Not my face though. Becuase I woudl NOT want to be forced to speak to this little chicky poo. I'll stop at Target for the $2 mask in a pouch. I'm cheap like that. I've loved reading your blog. I'm going to Thailand and Cambodia next week and the photos are getting me so excited!!!

  16. haha, good for you girl! You gave it to her!
    I hate those snotty little sales girls who think they know better and have no manners!
    Great post!

  17. i forgot about hemmroid cream..i have heard its good for wrinkles. maybe i will pick some up today.

  18. You probably didn't see my post from just before I left for holidays, when I went to get my eyebrows done? Well, my friend, check it out!!!

    I feel your pain! lol

  19. Some of the most ugly people I have ever meet work on makeup counters. They sit in judgement made up to the enth degree, on us low lives with ten bags and two children hanging from us. How unbecoming of you to have spots or greasy hair and wrinkles my goodness!

  20. LOL I promise I am not laughing at your possible (though highly unlikely) need for a EXTRA firming mask. I'm laughing because the story was told so brilliantly. I can only imagine what the little dear would have said if it had been me asking the same question...however I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have been nearly as polite as you. You are a very nice person....sadly...I am not lol

  21. I'll definitely be needing some of the EXTRA EXTRA FIRMING MASK after the wrinkles arising from chuckling over your blog entry! LOL! I'm fast approaching the magic age of 40 (37 now!) and I can just imagine the scene. Ah, those tactless make-up counter gals... they're everywhere (even, here in Birmingham, UK)!

  22. Oh my gosh Lilly you know how they say everyone has a twin. Well I think her twin is here in Canada! One of my favorite stores to shop at is a store called Shopper Drug Mart (yes it is as happy as it sounds...LoL) I am being helped by a lady about my age or maybe a few years older with an amazing line of products by a Canadian ~ Lise Watier. Anyway, so the nice lady had to go help someone else as the young thing did not know how to help the other customer. So older lady asked if I minded and since we were pretty much done I thought all young thing needed to do was check me out but I was wrong. Ist lady and I have two different products we were comparing contents of, when young thing grabs for the one is for woman 50+. Without hesitation she picks it up and starts to ring it in. I am all hey, hey ~ I am not that old. She looks at me and says well you have to be as old as my mom... Nice slam young thing! I wonder if her mom would have grounded her for that?? LoL

  23. And that is why I have done ALL of my Chrismas shopping from home. Sheesh!

    And yes, the strawberry site people are my good friends... lol

    I had to go to the mall on Friday afternoon in the rain, with the flooded carpark, with no parking spaces... And I won't be doing that again this year.
    I think you are very brave - I salute you!

  24. Oh dear! What is wrong with these people?! How does that motivate you to want to come back and buy more from them? Isn't that their ultimate goal? What a strange breed indeed!

  25. That’s why I stick to chicken shit. But nowadays you can’t even tell what’s in THAT. But at least THOSE chickens give a dam about my lines. Or, let’s say, I don’t understand their squabble when I steel their eggs to mix in a bit of a tightening ingredient :-)

  26. Hi Lilly, 'wot a twaht' these kids drive me crazy too, never mind... You got the better of her even though she didn't even realize it -'Numpty'!

    You're a scream Lilly, I could listen in to your patter all day.

    Cheers Peer, Kate x.

  27. THAT my dear was hilarious and just between me any I despise cats too. I have a theory about the cosmetics industry. I believe it is owned by plastic surgeons. They want us to believe that makeup will only cater for the up to 40 market. After that you are slowly twisted in the direction of the plastic surgeon. As you know given your makeup experience we may as well be putting hardware products on our faces for all the good any of it does. I draw the line at chicken shit though for some unknown reason. Thanks for brightening up my night. I can always count on you for a laugh.

  28. Good for you! Customer service has died all over the world, it seems. I thought Seattle had some snarky customer service non-professionals. Except for the young man at Radio Shack who waited on me last week--he was super!

  29. true, so true. Tis why I make an effort to walk ALL the way around their stations. ;)

    Hope you have a good week.

  30. You are one funny lady! I must agree though, the make up counter can be intimidating with the ladies waiting to punce, I love the reference to cats because now that you mention it I totally see it. I will never look at a consultant without thinking about cats again! I found you through SITS!

  31. MY 3 yo will tell you that you are beautiful.. regardless of what mask you need.

    Despite her words, I will not go to a cosmetic counter, I just won't let my fragile ego take the swipe. It was bad enough when a MALE was selling deadsea products in the shopping centre and managed to hook me for a sample and mentioned my skin....hmm, his was worse... but at $70 a tub, never gonnna get a sale off me....

    So it was off to Priceline for an apricot scrub and some moisturiser...

  32. And I thought it was just me. :) My favorite department store has those very same girls and they all raise their eyebrows, give me a once-over, then fling their heads and ignore me when I walk through the fragrance/makeup section.
    I so enjoyed your post. Just think, one day that 5 year-old will need a firming mask.

  33. I've always hated shopping at the makeup counter. Uggg!! I've been getting the old lady treatment too from the younger generation. For gods sakes I'm only 39. LOL!! Not 80. My big issue lately is everyone is calling mam. Isn't that what they should be calling my mother? When did I turn into a mam? Thanks for the great post. I truly enjoyed it.

  34. I went to buy some make-up last week. I wanted to walk right in, make my purchase, and leave. I didn't need any freakin' commentary. However, the Dr. Frank-N-Furter clone behind the counter decided to tell me that my moisturizer was "perfect for older, tired looking skin." Thankfully, my friend dragged me away before I could show the saleschippie that I wasn't so old or so tired.

  35. Barbara lives in the UK??!! I thought she was in Australia? I've been misled....

  36. Lily, you have described perfectly why I hate the makeup and perfume counters at department stores. They are full of the people I hate, bitchy and condescending.
    How dare she tell you that you are old and need the super firming mask!

  37. @ Joanne - oh I never gave her the chance to sell me the $1,000s of firming products she no doubt had! Thanks for dropping by.

    @ BIBI - oh its funny I no doubt envy your life. I just see the funny in the very mundane aspects to life. Thanks for reading!

    @ Dawnie - there is no such thing as getting old. Its all about getting wiser so I guess we just have to smirk at the five year old shop assistants and know that they have a long road ahead of them. You make me smile. Good luck with the next giveaway.

    @ Julie - "I've dragged my 47 year old face to the Lancome counter and had Junior Miss America tell me that basically this is the strongest stuff made and nothing else is gonna save me." You think I'm hysterical - you, my dear, win the hysterical crown hands down. Yes, you are right. I am heading for the more mature assistants in future provided I can find them. I think in these economic times stores will be hiring cheap labor, hence the five years olds.

    @ Sylvia - oh I think attitude is part of the job. Assisting people can be hard work every day but she was just a little miss.....glad you found it funny!!!

    @ Kay - I loved this line of yours - "I have had the misfortune to meet a couple of self satisfied, ego burdened children who masquerade as salespeople.." Very funny!

    @ Christine - oh I so get what you mean about the Miss and Madame. Oh I would be mortified if someone referred to a seniors card - they would accidentally get belted over the head, not that I support violence in any way (other than in these circumstances)....

  38. @ CJW666 - bottoms up to you for that tip! I have heard about it being practiced by the old Hollywood stars. I like the thought of multi functional products too...he he. Now, are you speaking about this from personal experience? I am going to wait to see what happens with Dawnie - she is going to give it a go I fact we could have a bit of fun with this space..

    @ K and/orK - oh you lucky things -yes I loved Thialand I have to say and I've never even wanted to go there ever before. I will go back again and risk the unpredicatable politics. Enjoy yourselves because service is way over the top there.

    @ Betty - oh I could have given it to her but I find it difficult to be in the spotlight in the middle of the Christmas crowds - you know how it is. But, if I was an exhibitionist, that girl would have been toast and she would have been wearing the cream all over her....I can but dream.

    @ Rhonda - I tell you were one or either of your parents ever in Australia? I am convinced we are related...

    @ Cleo - yes they do sit in judgement as if they are doing us a favour...grr...thanks for dropping by.

    @ Nikkicrumpet - but knowing you if it was you this happened to you would have had her cracking up big time...

    @ CathM - oh you are from Birmingham - welcome!! Glad you cracked up over this. We can just laugh cant we?

    @ The Mind of a Mom - oh that is kind of funny too - tha tmade me smile. I would have just burst in tears and walked out. I know its ahrd for these kids to work out how old we are but they have to realise that for some bizarre reason its seems to affect us as soon as we hit 25....

    @ Leslie - not brave at all JUST STUPID!!! Never Again. You are the smart one - next year I am sitting at my computer with a glass of wine, some nice music, a man to massage my feet, doing my online shopping and relaxing...

    @ Alyson - oh she was just way too young I think, no life experience. I just didnt need it at the end of a frought day. I am avoiding them in future.

    @ Fida - you funny girl you! Yes eggs are meant to be a great beauty product for skin and hair. Chicken shit, he he...

    @ Kate - I forgot the fine old Scottish term, numpty. I dont hear that here. You are lucky I wasnt blogging when I lived in Scotland I would have tracked you down and you would have got sick of all the patter let me tell you. You have to remember that I only blog about the superficial things that happen to me - I dont think anyone could stand the really big issues somehow....thanks for dropping by.

    @ Sarah - ok, I dont like cats as it happens. They are slimy and two faced and I will stop there because I realise that 99% of the population seems to think otherwise...

    @ Gran - oh no, these customer service non professionals are everywhere. I bet you are still on cloud nine from your promotion.

    @ Alex - Glad you stopped by - keep walking....I cannot recommend you stopping to get any service from these makeup people.

    @ Soccer Mom - oh I hope I havent turned you off cats now - mind you I have never liked them so....

    @ Dee - yes I do love Priceline and nothing beats it in many ways and the products are the same too apart from fancy packaging and lip service...

    @ Blue Castle - oh I like that thought - one day the 5 yr old will need the firming mask - thats life...

    @ Michelle - glad to see someone else getting the same treatment - its a joke... thanks for commenting by the way.

    @ Dingo - oh dear now that is a story as well - one of the selection criteria for these people is you have to be a bitch I truly think so.

    @ Braja - so close yet so far, girl. Cant you tell my Barbara's beautiful creamy complexion that she couldnt have lived in the Aussie sun? She lives in England. Lover her so!!! She is my role model. I want my life to be like that when I am 60 plus.

    @ Riyan - oh its ok I did that whisky and gin thing last night and then washed the makeup girl right out of my hair. She is history and I am never going back. I am internet shopping only now. Thanks for your comment.

  39. Very Funny Lilly girl. Why do women do it to themselves. Guys usually dislike makeup and prefer natural girls anyway.

  40. Hi Dear Lillyness! Oh, I'm laughing. You pretty thing you! I could just see you standing there with you hand on your hip looking at the little idiot! Did I say that!? lol You're a hoot and a holler!! :) You always make me smile!
    Be a sweetie, well, a firm sweetie!
    Shelia ;)

  41. Who hires these people?

    Seriously. They are everywhere. And you wouldn't think they are much help to the economy.

    Once, I went in to a beauty shop to have my hair trimmed. The girl looked at me and said, "Oh, your color is terrible. We must do something about it. And while we're at it, your eyebrows are dreadful. Why don't I put you down for a wax, too?"

    I strained and smiled. "No, just a trim, please."

    I wanted to say, "Business must be really bad!"

    I should have read your post first!

    Blessings to you, Lilly!

  42. I know a 5 year old here...and she said this to me one day...

    "Big A's mom? (she can't remember my name) I think you're very nice."

    I said, "Thank you Lily."

    "Big A's mom? I think you're really beautiful too."

    Well..I dang near bundled her up in my arms and took her home to live with me.

    Not all five year olds are hags. I think I oughta send Lily over to Oz to teach your five-year old some manners.

    For what it's're beautiful. Inside and out.

  43. Oh my goodness!!! This is hilarious!

    The last time I even went near a makeup consultant, she very tactfully said (very loudly, I might add), "Holy shit! Did that young lady just call you mom? What do you use on your skin!?". To which I replied, "Oil of Olay and it looks like I'll be sticking with that!" And I promptly walked away with my almost 6 foot tall 16 year old daughter in tow...the one I feed cow's milk and chicken skin to!

  44. I would have have ran her over with my car, and then backed up and did it again. You had tact :)

  45. Ohh so true, I always end up telling them as well that I am a makeup artist, so save the extra sale pushing, then I pretend I own everything at the counter so that I may actually see what is on front of me without them pushing the newest commission bonus sale my way. I don't want to give all sales ladies a bad rap, I have met some amazing ones, but few that are similar as you explain make me want to speed shop as well.

    Thank you for your lovely compliment, I cannot wait until you receive them as well. I hope this week !!

    And have a fantastic week too :)

  46. God. I actually had one tell me the other day that I need wrinkle cream. I'm 24. And she was older than I was!

    My book is out! Come check it!

  47. Lilly I love you for your tact and your humour.
    I just don't go there at all the makeup counter !

  48. I think there is a hierarchy in the store assistant world too. Makeup sales people just see themselves at the top of the rung for some reason. At the end of the day they probably have some aggressive sales targets they have to reach. However, they certainly are not going to sell their brands by being catty are they?

  49. LOL LOL
    well I have found that I look great when I have a towel on my head (twirled and tightened, to the "n~th" degree!!! LOL It pulls back the years..mmm ok apparently its mask time!

    OR time to consider the other more radical alternative...

    (remove all mirrors from the house....Hey, what did you think I was going to say?) LOL

  50. Brava, Lilly! Although I think a bop on the nose would have been a fun way to end that conversation. My daughter works part time at ULTA. Her fulltime job is in radio. I'm sending her over here to read this. I hope I raised her with more tact than your 5 year old consultant had!

  51. Some people just don't realize how hurtful they can be.

  52. I use Clarins too and the very firming mask is not helping me. :(

  53. LOL...face spackle! That is what we call the firming cream from Mary Kay!!

    I want to win the Thai stuff!!!

  54. Thank you so much for stopping by and FOLLOWING my blog for goodness sakes. I feel like I won the giveaway already. I always speed walk past the cosmetics counter before they can say "EYE CREAM"

  55. This so reaffirms why I stay away from make-up counters at department stores. Honestly, I'm scared of them. The older I get, the more scared I get. That's due to the lines I can now see around my eyes and what the judging stares in those departments will think of them. No hope, probably. I know. I know! So I run through those sparkly areas straight to shoes. At least they don't judge...

  56. wow. That is crazy. I never actually talk to any makeup people. I much prefer looking through things myself and getting what I think I need. I think I would have wanted to clock that girl one. lol

  57. HAHAHAAHAHAAA! Well, at 43, I'm there with you. My problem is the hair stylist trying to put a 20's something hair-do on my weathered face. And here's a hint for the wrinkles. If you want to smooth them out, gain some weight. Works wonders for me! LOL!

  58. Oh that is so VERY BAD. There is NO WAY I would of bought from her, as I wouldn't want her to get a commission.

    Hey I would love to try the Extra firming mask on my breast. Think that would work?

  59. HA!! …what a giggle! Same here, I refuse to do it anymore. There isn’t a “Face Firmer” that’s good enough to make the changes I need these days. There is one benefit however ….I don’t have to deal with the makeup counter princess …or the elderly ‘queens’ that they turn into down the track.

  60. Never pay attention to what those little girls say -- they have some really painful life lessons ahead of them!

  61. WOW! What a twit she was!

    We have similarly featured gals working at Macy's. I avoid the area just so that I don't have to see them focus in my under eyes and, as you delightfully put it, my jowls. :-)

    And a comment re: pigtails. I'm seeing them around and I'm wondering what the attraction is? Since when did pigtails beyond, say, being 9, become fashionable?


  62. Oh Lilly, how much we see eye to eye... After hearing this story I'm positive that cosmetic consultants are all snottish-- globally even. I think maybe in my life, I've met 3 nice ones and two of them were actually men. I have been taking such poor care of myself lately when I go to the mall I avoid the makeup counters like the plague.

  63. Oh Lilly, how much we see eye to eye... After hearing this story I'm positive that cosmetic consultants are all snottish-- globally even. I think maybe in my life, I've met 3 nice ones and two of them were actually men. I have been taking such poor care of myself lately when I go to the mall I avoid the makeup counters like the plague.

  64. Do you mean you actually found someone to serve you? When I go near these counters they are either talking to each other, reapplying their makeup, looking in the mirror or there is absolutely no sign of life.

  65. Funny story from my funny lady friend, Lilly. Wish I had a recording of that conversation! Hey, maybe you should be producing videos in the new year, like you're always encouraging me to start up again.
    Oh, lawsy, if I can just get my roomie to tweak my camera.
    I'll be sure to apply the Extreme-To-The-Max Firming Cream before the shoot begins, btw.
    Thanks for dropping by, checking out my sweet E's artistic calendar.
    And thanks for your always encouraging comments on my writing.
    Thinking of you, Lilly,

  66. Loved your post Lilly. Thanks for commenting on my blog during my absence.

  67. I hadn't seen that Postsecret website before, how interesting! Thanks for linking to it.

  68. I don't know much about face cream, or hardener ... stuff. I do know that after 40 I do get windburn from golf and being outside in the winter. Sometimes I put Chapstick under my eyes because of dryness. Is that crazy or what!
    I wonder if the girl could help me, and what she would say to a 240 pound bearded guy.

    Ha haaaaaaaaa !!!!!!!!!!!!!

    It would be worth trying just for the reaction.

  69. SOmehow I know why I make a big circle around those make up counters. lol

  70. Wouldn't it be great if someone could invent a little machine that could instantly show young people what they will look like in 20, 30 or 40 years? Talk about justice!

    I'm glad you set that little princess straight. Youngsters today are so much more rude than we were when we were their age. Shame.

    Lilly, check out my latest post. You might find it interesting. :)

  71. Hahahha this is so hilarious Lily!
    Above 35 is definitely not old - I would say they are knowledgeable!

    I so need to catch up on reading your other posts...I am way behind eh. I must say I am never disappointed when I visit you - always a great read.

  72. Oh, then I definetely need the "very firming mask" since I'm over 40. Love your blog. Found it through "The Muse" blog.

  73. LOL i am still awake...(which is part of the reason the tightening mask is needed LOL) but i got your comment on one of my Tuesday posts:) Thank you.... :)
    I dare say you have vision...i read your work :) oh yes, you have it!

  74. This is so funny. I think most of us know about those ladies at the makeup counters! I am sure she would send me to the hardware store. lol. They can easily put one on the defensive or mess up a perfectly good day.

  75. I hate how they analyse your face and it's always so embarrassing. Even when they try to be nice to you it seems really facetious. The key is definitely to purchase online and avoid them altogether!

  76. that was SO funny. (Give them some TACT for CHristmas!!!) that was classic........

  77. Ha! This made me laugh a lot!

    Lately I've been getting all my face care stuff at TJ Maxx in the bargain bins! Face creams for $4, masks for $3. Korres, Cliven, and other brands that well --I assume they'll work and I get it without the nattering of the child-makeup artist!

    Yes, I suppose we'll all be in the hardware store, and maybe we'll just buy giant rubber bands to collect all the sagging bits and kind of tie them back! Add a bow!

  78. Wow! Matt was right! Your blog is outstanding! I guess that's how you get 77 comments. I would hit the floor if I got that.

    5 y/o make-up artist? Hilarious.

    I'm 34 and it wasn't until the last few months that I started to feel I look old (ever since last year's pregnancy, actually). I'm the one who needs the extra hardware firming paste. I wonder if your young make-up artist could help me.

    Thanks for dropping by and leaving a comment on my blog.


  79. I so feel your pain!!!

    The workers these days just don't have good interpersonal skills!

  80. I apologize, Lilly, for taking so long to respond. I don't know what I've done to deserve a Thai silk scarf! On the other hand, whatever it was, I'm so glad that it earned me a silk scarf. I'm so ever grateful to you. Will it come with instructions? Hehe. This unglamorous woman just doesn't have the proper skills for it. But with help and practice, she'll learn quickly.

    Ya'know, I wish I don't have to wear make up like my daughter. I didn't use to, either, until age caught up with me. Now, I have to wear it, just so I'll not scare people away! Just last night, I decided not to wear any make up on for work. (It's not like I wear a ton anyway, but at least an eyeliner, a bit of some liquid foundation, and lip gloss and lipstick is all). Within the first 15 minutes I was at work, two coworkers commented that I looked tired and my face looked swollen. And what were those blemishes on my face? They sure were great comments to my already tired and old face, huh?

    You should receive my address in your email soon. Thanks again.



    I'm so sorry for your frustration at the makeup counter and it is tactless of me to laugh, but your telling of the experience was hilarious! I actually just experiences a frustration of my own at a makeup counter, but I'm just not ready to tell that story yet! ;)

  82. OMG - I just read this, Lilly. You are hilarious! I bypass those make-up counters. Now, I know I haven't been missing anything. Catty women with no tact ~ That's the last personality type I would think should be selling make-up. My gosh!

  83. Lol, this was a great post. Thanks for the laugh! If it makes you feel any better, I'm 23 and when I go in they give me that vacuous yet studying look and then say, "Hmmm, yeah, you definitely like, need some like, pour minimizer, cause like I can like see your pours from here. and like we also have this Awesome new like wrinkle reducer, cause I can like see your like starting to get those icky crows feet like around your (twirl hair, get distracted by something shiny) I don't think it's you. I think they are just dumb. Haha.


Thanks for your comments.