Yes, these are the words of Blanche Ebbutt who in 1913 penned some 'must dos' for new brides. Apparently the state of your marriage ladies has a lot to do with the state of your partner's digestion.
Blanche wrote Don'ts for Husbands and Don'ts for Wives. I have written some posts featuring Blanche's advice for men but today I am going to feature a few of her tips for women, about food.
- Don't talk to your husband about anything of a worrying nature until he has finished his evening meal.
- Don't buy expensive food and have it ruined in the cooking. If you are not up to French dishes, be satisfied with English ones cooked to perfection.
- Don't insist in frying steak when your husband likes it grilled, or in serving his eggs hard boiled when he likes them milky.
- Don't be afraid of cold meat. With the use of a little intelligence you will find delicious ways of serving up 'left overs'. Some men like it, but cold mutton has wrecked many happy homes.
- Don't give your husband burnt porridge.
- Don't be careless about the way in which meals are served when you and your husband are home alone. Dainty surroundings do much to make eating an agreeable process, instead of a mere means of keeping oneself alive.
- Don't despise the domestic potato. The boiled potato is the rock on which many a happy home has foundered.
- Don't let your husband off the carving of the joint because he doesn't like doing it or does it badly. You have plenty of other things to do, and, besides, you don't want to show him up as a helpless man.
I couldn't resist, here are a couple of her tips about dress.
- Don't let your husband wear a violet tie with grass-green socks. If he is unhappily devoid of colour sense, he must be forcibly restrained, but don't be sarcastic about his taste in fashion.
- Don't allow yourself to get into the habit of dressing carelessly when there is only your husband to see you. Depend upon it, he has no use for faded gowns and badly dressed hair, and he abhors the sight of curling pins as much as other men do. He is a man after all, and if his wife does not take the trouble to charm him, there are plenty of others who will.
So take out those hairpins ladies, put on your 'best frock' and serve him up some porridge, not burnt of course, or some fancy leftovers. Oh and if he is wearing purple socks, with an orange tie and a tartan shirt wrestle him to the floor and sit on him until he is willing to come to his senses- just do not mention his poor taste in clothes, will you?So, what are your views ladies and gentlemen? Is Blanche's advice timeless or is it as dry as toast?