Tuesday, 3 June 2008

Message from your Mother

hello
Note to new readers: Message from your Mother is a series of letters written by Lilly to her daughter which are based sometimes 'too closely' on their most recent phone calls. The letters are often written in the kind of irrational way that seems to come naturally to most mothers when it comes to the lives of their children. Whether the letters are funny or serious, you will always find a 'message' or, in this case, maybe a new revenge tactic.

Hi there

It's been a while since I last spoke with you and so much seems to be happening in your life. Shame about 'that horrid person' you had to deal with in the last couple of weeks. I can understand why you were thinking of giving her a bottle of wine with the label BITCH (folks that's TRULY the brand name) but the message is a bit obvious and people like that wouldn't get 'it' anyway, would they? She would probably think it was a compliment of some kind plus quite frankly why waste a good bottle of red.

I know a mother is meant to say take the high ground but it's hard isn't it? The whole revenge thing. I mean I have been there as you know. We all have and sometimes you just have to bite your tongue, sit on your hands or chain yourself to something immovable and sturdy until the urge well and truly passes.

Now if I was a 'proper' mother I would tell you that you really have to behave decently, kindly, no matter what the provocation. No matter what the challenge thrown at you. No matter how unfairly other's behave. No matter how badly they behave. You should never retaliate. You should carry on being good and civilised and morally irreproachable. Your manner should be impeccable. Your language moderated and dignified.

In fact I should reassure you that its really difficult when the rest of the world is behaving appallingly, and you have to carry on taking it on the chin without giving into your desire to get the boot in. When people are horrid its natural to want to get your own back and lash out.
And supposedly, we all know that once this rough time has passed, you will be so proud of yourself for keeping the moral high ground and it will taste a thousand times better than revenge ever could. Taking and keeping the moral high ground is the only way to be, so they say. Apparently it doesn't mean you're a pushover or a wimp. It just means that any action you take will be honest and dignified and clean. I mean I would tell you all of that if I was a proper mother

BUT (and you know what I mean by BUT - check out No 8 on my list)

given I have never been that kind of mother, I think you should just choose to communicate your views in a different way. You see, taking the moral high ground does, as it turns out, have several different meanings. Revenge, it seems, can still be honest, dignified and clean after all.

So, just forget the lame message on the bottle idea and use the message on the side of the hill idea instead. It's way more effective, is as subtle as a sledgehammer and it will make a far more powerful statement (plus, it can't be directly linked to you unless you sign your handiwork). Better still, you will never have to directly confront the person.

My friend Tulip, the distinguished horticulturalist from the West, told me about this fascinating communication (aka revenge) tip using the natural elements. She said that when you are plotting revenge, "you need to take the high ground as it will prevent you from stooping so low". I found that statement very, very, profound. So much so I had to repeat it out loud over and over to myself until its meaning became clear.


And this is what I think she was getting at. Very cryptic indeed. Find a raised large green area (preferably a major hill, mountain or grass covered building) that the 'horrid one' passes each day and using a certain spray (Tulip only endorses green friendly products), write your desired message and then run (not for the hills away from the hills). Two days later the grassy plains will reveal your message and your horrid acquaintance may have something deep and meaningful to think about for some time to come (which is a good thing given some messages need to be reinforced over and over again). Oh, and please remember it was really Tulip's idea, not mine, if you get caught (just mumble something about a weird horticulture experiment gone wrong).

Anyway, I am just giving you some food for thought. And if you do attempt to do this, please, please, mind your spelling, because you don't want it to reflect badly on you (or your upbringing) do you?

Love you

Your Mother

PS OK Readers, tell the truth, be brave, what have you done to seek revenge on someone - I know you have so please share!!! As for me I may take up hill climbing........in certain parts of the world....with strange gardening tools and spray cans in my backpack...


23 comments:

  1. Lilly, the high ground will prevent you stooping so low.

    Tulip

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  2. Tulip, that comment is extremely clever, so clever in fact I am adding that to the post as a direct quote. I still dream about painting a large, large hill. I wanted to put your official nominated title in but didn't want to ruin your reputation - I know what you greenies are like!!!!

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  3. Been thinking ...YouTube the whole thing! Yep that'd do it.

    Count Tulip in ...reconnaissance work will be necessary.

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  4. Tulip - oh you make me laugh, yes You Tube it - whoo hoo!!!! Italy and France by pass the grassy knoll I am telling you. Buses sorted BTW - over that hump. Want to hear more about this reconnaisance mission - he he. How about we borrow the bear suit or whatever the radical in your family wears to stop traffic - we may need her input for ideas!!

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  5. LOL - the wine label and message on the hill.
    I can't remember anything creative but I think revenge is sweet.
    When it is deserved ...dish it back to them or maybe wish Karma on them ... rarely forgiveness.

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  6. baby~amore - I think its sweet too but you are right, karma is better - its just so hard to wait for that to happen sometimes. Thanks for dropping by!

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  7. LMAO - a message on the hill and using nature as the vehicle. Love it! I'll have to remember it for future reference.

    I'm not one for revenge, but I do find that things come full circle. Life is like that...

    I really like the "message from your mother" letters!

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  8. Aleta - thanks for stopping by. The letters I send to my daughter are closer in reality than some people may think. We get on really well so its all fun. I bet your Mother would also have some fantastic messages for you by the sound of it! Glad to see you at Lilly's Life.

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  9. Oh...I think your "Friend" has taken a page out of my mother's book. Too funny...

    Okay...here's one. Sardine in a hollow curtain rod. Oh yes! Well, it's nature at it's best. Decomposing and all. Sorry, now you know the truth about me. I'm just EVIL! LOL Trust me...she had it coming.

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  10. Troublex2 - you made me laugh out loud - I love a woman who is not afraid of the truth!!!! And sardines he he - bet it took her a long, long time to figure out that one....still laughing....

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  11. This is so funny. I'll come back later to make more comment when I have more time. Have a great week.

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  12. Tasha - thanks for stopping by - glad it made you smile - you ahve a great week too!!

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  13. Lilly Im not proud of this but I cut off the sleeves of all my ex boyfriends shirts - he had too many anyway - thats being honest.I wish I knew more about the message on a hill though because that would have had a better impact if i'd done that instead. I only needed to be honest too "%!"%$!"$%"

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  14. Sarah, oh dear well I bet he could still wear his jackets over his shirts and no-one would have been the wiser...he wasnt wearing the shirt when you cut the sleeves off was he? he he Thanks for sharing and stopping by...

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  15. whoops - delete the other one. Was posting under wrong blogger name. I use this one now as I keep a blog. But yes, Mom shares many pearls of wisdom and I'm lucky to be her daughter!

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  16. Hi Lilly, By the way, we have no mountains, we have lot tulips in holland. Haha. A must paint series tulips you bring me an idea Lilly, thanks!
    Greetings&Tulips from Holland.

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  17. Aleta - you must write a post about your Mum sometime - I think her story is really inspiational.

    Kt - thats the great thing about blogging we all inpsire one another in some way. I would love to see your paintings of tulips - err can you paint a lilly too? I know my friend Tulip would be honoured!!! I will check back on your site to see how your next painting is coming along. Thanks for stopping by! BTW I just bought a bunch of tulips yesteday!

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  18. Hey lilly that is hilarious and now i'm looking all over for available hills to send a few messages. Sure Beats looking at boring advertising billboards.We could start a revolution.My mind is ticking over. May none of us stoop low ever again.LOL

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  19. Stephan - you said it, reach for them hills, boy and don't forget to scribble a few salient messages while you are at it! We need some photos of this....

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  20. Well, it's a little long and doesn't go into the full depth of Mom's beauty, but here's poem share for you that I wrote for my Mom on Mother's Day... (Poems never line up properly in comments.)

    Ma ~ Happy Mother's Day

    "Why are you so different from the others"
    Ugly Duckling was her favorite story
    born to a family of brunette beauties
    her birth certificate said blonde hair, blue eyes
    a recessive gene, carried twice shows up
    so many, many generations in her
    a snow of white, of blindness

    Her father thought her mother had
    an affair, her mother turned with rage,
    Abused the child, she knew was his
    albinism was not in their vocabulary yet

    Children called her "white witch" and spit on her
    She replied, "I'm not a witch, my hair
    is white. I'm an angel."

    She has a degree in education
    not to be a teacher but to learn to be a parent
    How many blessings has she raised
    through the classrooms and in me and my brother

    Giving us a happy childhood
    among other things, the piano she can't see to play,
    bought for us to learn what she didn't have
    and when money was tight, she still found season tickets to the musicals, a culture
    she wanted for us to cherish and grow

    When her mother, my grandmother, became
    a victim of alzheimers and strokes, when
    other aunts said, "She's dead to me" My mom
    took her in and loved her mother, took care of her,
    forgave her; whispered, "I'm not an ugly
    duckling any more" to which a smile was shared

    If I ever come to be one tenth of who she is
    maybe I will grace the swan's lake too

    Her strife, her strength, she is my model
    Her love, her spirit, she is my mom

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  21. Aleta - wow! your poem bought tears to my eyes - truly wonderful and your mom's beauty shines through your words. I bet she loved it and thank you so much for sharing. I must come and check out some of your other poems you are very gifted.

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  22. I am now on the hunt for Bitch wine.

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  23. Distressing Delilah - he he, hilarious it is. Strangely enough, I am so shallow I alwasy buy wine (usually) by the look of the bottle or the lable - I bet this brand is going to have great sales regardless of its product (Which isnt actually that bad as it happens)!. Thanks for visiting!

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Thanks for your comments.