Message from your Mother

Yoo-hoo it's just me.....it's Your Mother...

I wanted to give you a preview of my cover on Vague Magazine which will be out later in the year. You like? My hair is a bit stiff looking and unfortunately the picture was taken after a rather long liquid lunch but I can't complain right? Can you see the resemblance to Madonna? It's uncanny (except she's had 'extra help', nudge, nudge wink, wink to look this good - she can't sue if I put it in tiny writing can she?).

This kind of exposure doesn't come around every day does it? I am just a bit confused because I thought the magazine was spelt Vogue not Vague. Ah well, there's hardly any difference between an 'a' and an 'o' anyway. I will save you a few dozen copies to pass out to your friends. Yes of course I will sign them.

I have also had a bit of a breakthrough and no, it wasn't with my therapist. I saw a video yesterday on You Tube that I have to share with you (see I told you I was better lying around surfing then lying around on a psychiatrist's couch). I finally realised how the the evil beast fleeced me for everything I had and how I didn't see it coming until he he put his hands around my neck and squeezed tight. Everyone said it was as obvious as hell what he was up to: everyone that is, except me. Watch this and I think you will understand.


Well, did you see the big hairy bear moon dancing or were you too busy concentrating on the passes? Well that was me, I was too busy focusing on what I thought were the agreed passes rather than seeing what he was doing right under my nose. Although come to think of it the regular growling was probably a dead giveaway.

This is another one of life's lessons sweetie. Watch out for people dressed up as moon walking bears, or come to think of it, just overly big hairy people that look like bears, because they will get you every time. It is indeed easy to miss something you are not looking for. Be alert as always but try not to be alarmed.

Your Mother

PS I was going to tell you about a site I came across which teaches you how to put condoms on correctly but I will save that until next time. Must run. XXX