Wednesday 26 March 2008

I won something, sort of....

A few weeks ago I entered a competition. You know the kind I am talking about. The ones where you have to write in 25 words or less why you deserve to win.

The prize was a Hollywood Pack.

The magazine was a bit hazy on the actual contents of the pack as I recall. In my mind's eye I was thinking that perhaps it was a left over Oscars gift bag that Nicole or Naomi had donated to the magazine for a worthwhile cause.

I was dreaming of botox injections, a visit to a fat farm, a MacBook Air, diamond earrings, a date with George Clooney and even possibly a holiday in the Caribbean. Truth is, I had almost packed. I just knew I was going to win - I just knew that those 25 words were some of my best yet.

I did win. Sort of.

The package arrived today but it was not what I expected. Well, I guess I would have had to write 2500 words and donate a limb to a good cause to get the pack of my dreams.

I am not disappointed. Not really.

Perhaps Hollywood Glamour is not what I thought it was after all. Here it is in all its star studded glory.

You could say that the packaging is sweet and the contents interesting. It included, Hollywood fashion tape, Hollywood underarm pads (when deodorant is not enough), Hollywood clear bra straps, Hollywood fashion tape in various unique shapes and Hollywood hook ups (no, unfortunately it's not a little black book but a device to hide your bra straps).

Hollywood is hard work it seems. I looked at the Hollywood fashion tape and noted it's claim that it is Hollywood's clear double-stick 'Do Everything' apparel and body tape. Wow, sounds good heh?

And this is apparently what Nicole, Catherine, Cate and Naomi do with it.

1. Hide bra straps - wasn't that why strapless bras were invented? But then you are somehow meant to wear underarm pads for all the world to see even though your bra straps aren't meant to show?

2. Secure revealing necklines - now I have had a look at this flimsy tape and personally I believe I would need something like gaffer tape to keep any revealing necklines intact. Besides its strength, gaffer comes in fluorescent colours and is extremely versatile. Then again, why wear a revealing neckline if you don't wish to reveal?

3. Hold up strapless tops - well no chance in hell I would be wearing a strapless top I thought would fall down to start with. Sorry, but to do so with the aid of Hollywood tape is asking me to put too much trust in a flimsy bit of sticky tape. In fact, come to think of it I don't even wear strapless tops.

4. Fix hems - I can kind of see that this would be useful in an emergency. However, wouldn't it be just as quick to thread a needle and do some quick stitching then mess with double sided sticky tape?

5. Close wrap skirts - if I wanted a closed wrap skirt I would have bought a skirt with no openings, surely? Or is this in one of those situations that you bought a skirt and didn't realise it had no buttons or a seam or it suddenly occurred to you that you really don't have the legs to wear this outfit after all?

6. Keep scarves in place - like how? taped to your skin, your clothes?

7. Adhere body jewels - right, so I use this to adhere my precious (or more likely my not so precious) jewels to my body with double sided tape for what effect exactly? The jewels would have to be huge to hide the double sided tape behind them, so that counts me out.

8. Create costumes - mmm, I am imagining mummies being wrapped in white sticky tape, is that what they mean?

9. The best is always last. Anchor shoulder pads. Shoulder pads? Didn't they disappear in the 80s? Please someone tell me they are not making a return.

I do not want to appear ungrateful and, while the accessories are some of Hollywood's finest, I am not sure I have the time or the outfits to make full use of the products. However, all is not lost.

I told my daughter and she (of the revealing and strapless tops, who is always on the lookout for an exciting costume or two and who has lots of single earrings she could happily convert to body art), thought the pack was too good to be true.

It's on its way to her today. I will enter more 'middle aged appropriate contests' in future.

Then again, given this is only the second time I have ever won anything........I think I will keep some of that tape just as a never know when your hem may do the dirty on you, do you?



  1. Congratulations! I never win anything! *sigh*

    You're dream hollywood pack is same as mine:-)

    Funny to know that you sleep with ur legs crossed too.I don't even know I do that, till my hubby told me...

  2. ROTFL! I loved this one! I'm still giggling....

  3. Who knows the next win would be a bigger one! The real hollywood dream, but hey those winnings are not bad, ~winkz perhaps u could make use of them when you least expect it and you'd be so glad you won!

  4. Thanks for your comments

    @ Pinay Jade - your right winning is good regardless of what it is I know. Thing is you have to be in it to win it so next time I will aim higher! I will go visit your blog soon!

    @Rachel - well I was giggling too when I saw it - some things I didnt even realise I was missing from my life unitl I won all these bits n pieces. BTW just rearranging site so links will come back on soon.

    @ Alexis - welcome. Thanks for dropping by. Yes I am looking forward to the next bigger one too!!


Thanks for your comments.