Wednesday 5 March 2008

How to Spot an Aussie at 20 Paces

I have been fortunate enough to travel fairly extensively and live in other countries. I was born in Australia and the thing that always hits me when I am away is how unique Aussies are. Particularly the males of the species. No they are not all like Crocodile Dundee or Steve Irwin or even Mel Gibson or Greg Norman. Maybe a combination of them all! And despite popular opinion they definitely don't wear cork hats, carry large knives, wrestle wild animals or for that matter carry their women over their backs.

I've thought a lot about the reasons why Aussie men are so unique over the years and compared them with the Italians, English, Scots and Americans. If I had to pick one thing that sets them apart, it would be the fact they are so laid back. They know how to chill out and enjoy themselves.

So, how do you spot an Aussie at 20 paces then?



1. Always have both a dressy and casual pair of rubber thongs in their wardrobe (flip flops, not underwear).
2. Say it like it is - they call a spade a spade and a shovel, a f.....g shovel.
3. Treat everyone the same and will greet anyone with the words, G’day how ya going?, whether you’re the Queen, President, garbage man or hotel porter.
4. Refer to you as their Mate even if they just met you.
5. Can be heard referring to good blokes as low life bastards
6. Value honesty and use the word fair dinkum (which means truth) liberally in conversations.
7. Use the term, no worries, in every second sentence.
8. Use the following slang often, av-a-go-yer-mug, bloody oath, bonzer mate, fair crack of the whip, dinky-di and the most favourite one of all, crack a tinnie (meaning open a can of cold beer).
9. Don’t get impressed or offended easily.
10. Consider meat pies, vegemite and beer as part of the staple diet.
11. Live for their sport, any sport, any time, any place, any hour of the day.
12. Can open beer bottles with their teeth.
13. Refer to their mates (either sex) by their surname and add a 'y' on the end –
Browny, Smithy,
14. Have christian names like Gary (Gazza), Wayne, Kevin, Barry (Bazza), Bruce
15. Love mowing their lawns every chance they get in perfect straight lines.
16. Poke deadly funnel web spiders with sticks just for laughs.
17. Put tomato sauce on top of everything they eat (ketchup).
18. Always bring slabs of beer to BBQs (steak, sauce and beer goes together like apple pie and cream)
19. Think no subject is sacred or off limits - they will laugh at anything and everyone including themselves.
20. Think they have it made now they have an Aussie Prime Minister whose name is KEVIN!!!

Onya Fellas! Next time, I am going to take a look at the American males... then the English....then the Scots .....then the Italians....