Sunday, 22 February 2009

Not Happy Barbie

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I'm going to be busy over the next few weeks with a big project so I will be mixing up some of my posts with some of my personal favourites that few of you have read. That way, I'll still have time to visit your blogs.

This post was done in March 08. Given Barbie turns 50 in a couple of weeks, I thought this would be a good one to revisit.


Don't underestimate the reach of the Internet, ever.

Barbie googles, it seems, and she is not happy! With me!!

I just got an email from a Barbie confidante pointing out that Barbie was a subject of parody in my blog on two separate occasions ( here) and that perhaps it may be in my interests to make a public apology.

Apparently she is unhappy that the word Barbie has come to be used as a derogatory slang term for a girl or woman who is considered...um.... shallow.

Barbie is litigious happy. I had no idea that just like any star, she has been the subject of numerous controversies and many lawsuits, often involving parody of her and her lifestyle.

The confidante has gone to great lengths to assure me that there is more to Barbie (aka Barbara Millicent Roberts) than meets the eye.

Barbie turns 50 on March 9 and is living it up in the South of France, with Ken (Carson). As you may remember, Barbie and Ken had a tumultuous relationship for years after meeting on a television commercial in 1961 (yes Braja, she was born a teenager).

They split up in 2004 amid rumours that she was more than good friends with Blaine, the Aussie boogie boarder. After spending some quality time apart, Barbie went on to become a presidential candidate, a Canadian Mountie and lived in India (thanks Ugich!). Ken went to the Middle East where he studied Buddism and learnt to cook. He came back wearing cargo pants and a purse. They reconciled in 2006.

There they are on the left with Barbie's sister Kelly (yeah sure!!). Ken, of course, has been reluctant to ever tie the knot which must be painful for Barbie given the number of wedding gowns she has bought over the years. Quite frankly I always thought Ken was gay and I've been waiting a life time for him to come out .....I still cannot get those images of Ken in his hot pink floral Hawaiian shirts out of my head, some 30 odd years after we first met.

Barbie has had varied careers. I thought her career extended to the fact that she was 5' 9", weighed 110lbs, and had the vital statistics of 36/18/33. Or, the fact she uttered some great lines when she finally started talking in 1992 like, "Will we ever have enough clothes?", "I love shopping!", "Wanna have a pizza party?" or "Math class is tough!" Or, that she was banned from making public appearances in middle Eastern countries. What more could there possibly be?

Well it seems Barbie has known the kind of success that only Oprah understands and the rest of us dream about. She was rated No. 43 on the list of 100 most influential people of all time who "never lived". She has been a doctor, astronaut, Nascar driver, American Idol contestant, fashion designer, Olympic figure skater, rock star and on it goes (is it just me or does anyone see some resemblance to Posh Spice here).

She has had over 40 pets including horses, a panda, a lion cub, and a zebra. She has owned a wide range of vehicles, including pink convertibles, trailers and jeeps. She also holds a pilot's license, and operates commercial airliners in addition to serving as a flight attendant.

She is surrounded by a close group of friends - including Hispanic Teresa, Midge, African American Christie and Steven. And she has been feted all over the world by all the top designers.

OK Barbie, I do apologise for thinking you were so incredibly shallow. There is definitely more to you then meets the eye. However, could you do us all a favor and try looking your age? Perhaps less botox, some grey hair, character lines and a tiny bit of a middle aged spread? The world is ready for a very attractive and sexy middle aged Barbie.

Be brave. You could be a trail blazer.....and finally gain some real street cred. They do say 50 is the new 30 after all!

77 comments:

  1. hilarious I love your dig at Barbie and Ken.
    She is so accomplished LOL ;)

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  2. Great. Very interesting Photo's of Barbie... Hehehhee.. LOL

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  3. Lilly, I just found this post of yours, some months old, but a great one. Only one problem: Barbie is LYING ABOUT HER AGE. Oh yeah. You write in there that she is 49, but then you say her and Ken met on a TV commercial shoot in 1961. She would have been 2 yrs old then!! So methinks the Blondest Bimbo of them all is lyin' about her age. Your picture is a little more accurate than first thought...

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  4. Oh yes, I am going to repost some of these when on holiday. Well you see the weird thing about Barbie was that she was born old to begin with and never aged. So when she popped out in 59 she was already very well developed and only was 2 when she met Ken. I know its hard to fathom. But she is that kind of woman - very mysterious. I personally just dont know what she was doing with Ken. Now her is a funny story - when my daughter was 3 she had a Ken doll (she liked him better than Barbie(. We met a guy called Ken and the first words out of her mouth were, 'do you know Barbie'? Thnaks for taking a read!

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  5. All hail Barbie, and Ken's TOTALLY gay. I'm with you there, Lilly...tosser indeed....And Barbie.. well, I feel cheated. Born fully deveoped?! I remember my first Barbie: I pushed her breasts in and they didn't pop out; I never really had much respect for her after that. Incidentally I don't have any resulting breast/no breast fetish. I was a kid. Get over it.

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  6. Lilly Babe - is there any coincidence involved - you and Barbie have similar hair styles (see above)
    June also in Oz

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  7. Apparently botox really does work on everyone, even if you are made of plastic...What's that you say? Hollywood's already proved my theory?

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  8. Lilly, like Hilary Clinton , barbie has traveled the world. How can you ignore the Indian Barbies here and here , and here ?......

    Didnt see Ken around though....

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  9. I remember this very well :))

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  10. Giggles... you’ve given me my laughs for today:)

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  11. Yippee! I'm just so happy not to be the last one to comment this time.

    Oh I love Barbie dolls. In fact, I have all the Filipino ones that hubby gave me as gifts, which he bought all through the internet. My daughter is another story. She never liked dolls, including Barbie dolls.

    I sure had a chuckle reading your take on Barbie and Ken. So funny!

    Good night,
    Tasha

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  12. I guess I will have to reassess this woman. She is clearly much more than a blond with abnormally long legs.

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  13. heheh!! Thanks for those 'facts'!! Did you photoshop the 'old' Barbie?!! That was awesome!

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  14. I still have several Barbie dolls and a few spare heads and limbs. What a marketing stroke by Mattel. Amazing really. It makes you think why cant I come up with something like that? Except whoever came up with Ken made him look like a right Wally. I have never seen a dcent looking Ken. No wonder she ran off with the Aussie Boogie Border. I never knew she had a name too. Well there you go look at everything I learned.

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  15. LOL! Great post. Thanks for the memories... I loved playing with my barbies!

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  16. ha-ha-ha, great post on the uhmmmm, merits of menopasual Barbie !!!

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  17. Hi Lilly,
    Did you know that if Barbie were real she couldn't walk as she'd keep falling over because she's top heavy also she couldn't survive as all her organs wouldn't fit in her body!
    I kept this secret from my daughter. Didn't want to spoil her dreams ! She played with nothing but dolls until she was a teenager and then found herself with a real one !

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  18. Compared to Barbie, I am a complete loser. What an AMAZING life that lucky lady has led! (Well, besides being in love with a gay guy.)

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  19. Oh, this is such a hoot! I love it! Surely started off my day with a big laugh! Have to admit I always resented Barbie as being the perfect blonde, but I was already grown by the time she put in an appearance so that was pretty small-minded of me. You always have fun, beautiful and wise things to say and they are appreciated!

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  20. Barbie facts I never new before. Thank you Lilly for the facts and the laughs. xoxo

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  21. Memoooorrieeeeeess~ {singing}

    Like, when I use to fill a pan with water and pretend that Barbie and Ken were hot tubbing it -- in the buff! And wondering where Ken's unit was and hoping that I'd have breasts like Barbie.

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  22. hahaha!
    personally, i blame barbie for Bulimia.
    she is no friend of my thighs!

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  23. The thing I could never understand is: Midge has the same body as Barbie (I think?), but she always managed to look shorter and fatter. Even if you put her in Barbie's clothes.

    Great post!

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  24. LMAO!! Lilly this was just what I needed today!

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  25. I know I've told you about the time when Ken and Barbie and all their friends played "Flesh Gordon", but I'll bet all your friends didn't realize she was such a slut, though, did they? lol

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  26. I remember when they changed Barbie's original measurements due to the criticism that a living human being could never survive with the proportions that the brilliant men who designed her gave to her. So much for an idealized view of women.

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  27. great topic, brought some smiles to my face! I'm still laughing at some of the sleepwalking stories, though!

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  28. Ken is gay! Completely!

    this post cracked me up!

    I remember growing up, getting Barbies, and silently wishing she was a brunette... more like me.

    The blond Barbies were always drowned or fed to my dogs... and the one sole brunette I got was stripped naked and and torn apart by my pesky little brother.

    Ahhh memories of Barbie.

    No offense to blondes... I just wanted a popular girl to look more like me for a change. :)

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  29. Perfect post, Lilly! I love your take on life...so perfect and hysterically funny!
    Enjoy your holiday :)

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  30. Can't you just see it? Botox barbie! At least there would be honesty with baribe's image. It'll be a precursor for Menopause barbie and granny barbie :)

    So glad you re-posted or I may have missed the delightful barbie history of which I am a huge fan!

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  31. That cracks me up. Vanity is alive and well across the globe. Well I can still remember my first Barbie doll...no...wait a minute, that was my sister. I had the Ken doll. But if memory serves me right, I had a fascination for the female anatomy and I seemed to play with Barbie more often. And then there was the fact that she was 2 years older than me. Ah...good times.
    My she's aged.

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  32. I love this! I never had a Barbie when I was growing up but my daughter had 4 or 5 of them. I used to sew doll clothes for her. Then I read how it could be detrimental for a girl's self image, etc. Would she grow up to think that only a blonde with a big bosom and small waist was beautiful?

    Happily, my daughter grew up with a fine self image so what the heck.

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  33. for this post, Lilly! I actually enver had a Barbie growing up, but my girls did. And I think Ken is a eunich.

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  34. hahaah this is hilarious.

    Its funny how much I loved Barbie when I was young, but my daughter refuses to feel the same way. lol.

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  35. Barbie and Ken were the ugh-yuck inducing couple in my circle of friends. As for my daughters, Barbie is great for her wardrobe and accessories, but their comfort-toy is the cuddly tattered rag-dolls. As for the poor Barbies, they lie around with their stiff arms and legs torn apart, more forgotten mannequin than beloved toy. R.I.P (ripped into pieces).

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  36. She sure has been around for a long time to still look as good as she does. She's probably had more surgery than Joan Rivers!

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  37. Oh my your comments are funny. Like some of you, my daughter wasnt interested in dolls. She had many Barbies but her mother used to play with them. I used to also buy lots of dolls for her knowing she would never play with them. However, she did fancy Ken and even though she is grown up she still has Ken, in all his poncy glory. And me? Well of course I still have all my childhood toys I ever had. Of course my favourite dolls were rag dolls my mother made me. And Sanudra its a shame you didnt get your hands on Indian Barbie or I am sure there is an Italian version with dark hair. Yes I think Mattel has a lot to answer for but imgine the billions they made out of this one little bit of plastic. Oh and did anyone else get a lot of enjoyment form paper dolls. Oh I had hours of fun with them...in fact I am sure I could still have hours of fun. Must be time to get some grandchildren....

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  38. And Barbie...
    Must you always be so even-tempered?!? It's all so predictable! Real women throw real fits. Let it out, baby. You'll feel oh so much better.

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  39. My question is this. How many boys got more fun out of playing with Barbies than girls did? Not that I am saying anything, I am just saying is all.

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  40. Well written and funny history of the super women ...Barb ! I had not idea what their last names were or that they had last names!
    Thank you for bringing it back!

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  41. Hey, I thought you were talking about me when you said, 5' 9", weighed 110lbs, and had the vital statistics of 36/18/33. Eighteeen inch waist I wasnt even born with one of those...I decapitated my Barbies and now you know why. And she is only a beard for Ken. I have heard rumors her and Blaine are still an item..she will do anything for publicity. She is a hussy and did you know that Kelly is really her child. I have my ear to the ground in London. If you want to know any more juicy gossip about the stars then call me. Fingers crossed that Aussie hunk does well with the Oscars - it needs a facelift and he has the right kind of face to lift it. Oh come to think of it they should let Barbie marry Hugh. He likes older woman.

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  42. Yes, Posh Spice for sure.

    A public apology to Barbie? Are you kidding me?

    She's a freakin' toy!

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  43. hahaha THIS is a priceless post! I never liked that bitch Barbie anyway...I'm glad to see she's getting wrinkles! I just hope her boobs are saggy too!

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  44. Oh, Dear Lillyness! This post was hilarious! That Barbie! She should age a bit, I agree!!
    Thanks for coming to see me, you're too sweet!!
    Love ya and be a sweetie,
    Shelia ;)

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  45. Lilly,
    For those who didn't get it, that was a dig. I amjust saying...

    <:)

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  46. @ something happened somewhere to you - Banoffi likes dolls it seems, he really did play with Barbies!!!

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  47. I used to post random comments on blogs and just say:'barbie doesn't have a clitoris'...

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  48. How do you come up with such funny, entertaining and yet thought-provoking posts?

    I never knew anything much about Barbie except that a lot of little girls like her and that she has become a fashion icon.

    The aged barbie looks beautiful and wiser! Good for her=)

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  49. Today is a very big day in the Where’s Wenda? Contest. I am visiting all of the SITS followers. Can I do it? There are around 1000 followers. Oh my! Better grab my cup of coffee and get on my way. Be sure to visit Hot Chocolate Caramel Mocha and Three Bay B Chicks as part of your contest entry. -Wenda

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  50. Lilly~
    Thanks for becoming a follower of my blog. I just love yours too!!! Love your idea of the makeup artist. that would be soooo much fun!!!
    good luck this week. you busy girl!!

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  51. Wow!!! Has it really been that long???? :) Wish I still had some of my old barbies! =D

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  52. My sisters and I are probably the only kids on the planet that did not have or own a Barbie. My nieces had them, I thought she was cute, but never owning one I grew up oblivious to her and I had boy;s and there was G.I. Joe. I liked your post, you tell it like it is.

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  53. Bring on the smack down of plastic chick! And Ken is so gay.

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  54. So funny! I, too, thought that "Barbie" meant brainless, a blonde, ditzy. :) Your comments about Ken - priceless. He was a little flashy, wasn't he?

    I read somewhere that Barbie is a very popular item with male inmates. "shudder"

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  55. @ Rachel - I came up with this a while ago, nearly a year ago now. Oh if I had the itme I oculd think of lots more things but am getting too busy again so will post only every now and then.

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  56. Love the picture! It is time for Barbie to come into her age. LOL, great post.

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  57. omgosh... you are seriously have a wonderfulway with words!!this totally cracked me up. keep it up, ovbiously "6?" of us agree, lol!!! LA

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  58. Perhaps Barbie's next career could be as a motivational speaker for the middle aged.

    You know Ken will now have to file a law suit requesting a retraction and formal apology.

    Too funny, I had two sisters, so plenty of Barbies around. GI Joe beat her in the kid polls every time though.

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  59. @ Eric, Really GI Joe beat her? I never had one of those and nor did my brother. I guess they must have been here too. Ken's a woos he wouldnt be game, he cant stand up to Barbie so he is not going to mess with me, lol

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  60. I always enjoy a good jab at Barbie. I've done a couple myself!

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  61. Hilarious! I do love a good parody of Barbie.. oops.. I mean a good apology!

    When will she start looking her age!! And - for that matter - when will she look normal - i.e. not super skinny - I want to see some middle-age spread!

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  62. Loved your input on Barbie and Ken - It is nice to know that even precious -everything to everyone - more clothes/shoe/purses and ect...than anyone, has had some very bad days to get over. Love the picture you found - Now that sure looks more realistic!!!

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  63. Hi Lilly, I have an award for you. Just come over to my place. I'll be posting it in a few minutes. ;)

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  64. I always felt Barbie didn't really want to marry Ken, because she knows he only has a 'mound'.
    I seem to remember a pregnant Barbie, whose stomach had a neat door in the front. I guess she must have adopted her baby out, or it died, because we never see it around these days... or maybe it really is Kelly.
    Great post!

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  65. @ Meggie - Barbie with a door in the front? Now ownder there are so many screwed up people in the world, ha ha!

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  66. when my now 35 year old daughter was a little girl she would get different type barbie dolls from her grandmother...mojo hated barbie dolls..we both agreed they were bad roll models for little girls...and I tried to tell the grandma that mojo didn't like them, but she thought yeah, yeah, it's you that doesn't like them..so one day mojo asked to borrow the camera..when she brought it back she said i took a picture of my barbies for grandma..see that she gets it..so I sent it to her..all of the barbie dolls were on her bed...none of them had heads. that's my girl.
    she never got another barbie doll either.

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  67. Yellowdog Granny - you know why dont you? Barbies head was easy to come off but you coudlnt get the thing back on again. Sensible girl your daughter. Loved that story.

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  68. Thanks Christine, glad you enjoyed.

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  69. Oh to live the life of Barbie and still have that figure, eh?

    Wait, better yes, Ken! "He came back wearing cargo pants and a purse." --Hahahha

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  70. @ Mmmm - oh yes, she has it all except she still has Ken hanging around. What a man. Personally I preferred th hunky Blaine...lol!

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  71. I decided to click on one of your favourite (do aussies and brits appreciate it when americans use your spelling?) posts.
    Barbie does make for a good post. She is very iconic across many generations. Did you ever see the part she did in one the "Toy Story" movies? You could find a clip on youtube I'm sure. Recently blogger Unknown Mami did a post about the new international world traveler version of Barbie. She mentioned one from France and Mexico but you should check if there is a new one from OZ.
    Oh I think a good post is worth respinning, revising, rewriting, or just sharing again. I just did that on my blog.

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Thanks for your comments.