Tuesday 12 February 2008

Poking yourself with poison was ever ok?

I avoid newspapers, radio and television news now. I get my news strictly from the internet. Simply because it's updated several times a day. These were the headlines this morning. No mention of Britney, Amy or the Beckhams.....thank goodness.

The truth sends lawyer to jail
Same sex Pandas allowed to adopt
Sea oil rig brothel evacuated after fire deems it too hot to handle
Heidi stabbed 16 times says Police Chief
Botox kills
Violence erupts as Gates arrives
Bride dies during the bridal waltz

I quickly clicked on the HEIDI story. Of course after my recent posting about Heidi the dentist, I had to look.....I am relieved, moreso because I may have been the No 1 suspect....... it wasn't her - my condolences to the victim's family.

The second headline that I checked out was the BOTOX KILLS story. Well, I have mixed thoughts on this one. First, I am now at the age when wrinkles are becoming more noticeable and I am quickly beginning to look like my friend on the right. I thought I might like to dabble in this age defying miracle myself at some point soon. Not much to toss up now though is there, keep your wrinkles and live, or remove them and die. Tough, tough choice.

Then again, who in their right minds would not have some doubts that having poison injected into their face for aesthetic reasons was not going to do some damage at some point. I mean......I guess it's the risk you take. It's like shooting heroin, surely. You get a high, you get addicted, you can't stop, you don't know how it will affect you or whether you will get a 'bad' batch at any time. You just cannot do without it. Soon there will be Botox Rehabs springing up around the place filled with strung out females (and blokes) clutching for dear life onto their disappearing youth.

I can always tell when someone has overdone the Botox thing.....it's all in the eyebrow - the eyebrows take on a very strange shape and point upwards rather than arch nicely. Think Sharon Stone, Kylie (and Danni too), Nicole Kidman and countless of female and male television personalities. In fact, it's everywhere you look.

(Side note for the attention of Kylie: No, Kylie, absolutely no more. You are looking more like your wax works figure every day. And if you keep it up you are going to give the Catwoman here on the left some stiff competition. Do not mess any more with the 'cute' that God handed you, it may very soon turn to 'ugly' if you are not careful).

So frozen ladies, maybe its time to put the knife and needle down and take sexy back. We all have to grow old......it's inevitable.....accept it....lets age gracefully ........botox abstinence will have it's benefits. If you do it so will I. Not only will you be able to cross off one more potential death hazard from your list but you will be able to REALLY communicate again. With your face not just your hands. People will know if you are smiling, frowning, happy or sad. A surprise will now truly be a surprise rather than a permanent expression. No mixed messages.

But, you will become invisible .......invisible.....as older people tend to do. It's unfair but true. So you're not going to do it? You're too far gone? Afraid your face will crumble? Ok, well come to think of it, I would like at least one shot of it just to see what the fuss is all about. I think I will make that appointment after all....I mean I could just as easily get killed by a falling star as be poisoned by Botox surely? Everything in moderation right? Or, is taking one jab of Botox just like having a tiny taste of heroin........

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